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RE: Disrepecting my Master - 11/26/2006 7:23:42 PM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Did you consider going to the dungeon master and asking they have a talk with him?

I think that'd be out of a DM's jurisdiction.

I was under the impression that if someone comes on to a collared submissive, is asked to go away, and they refuse to and makes a submissive uncomfortable that it is the job of the DM to deal with it, that is why they are there after all, to make sure people play nicely and do not touch each other's toys or subs...smiles. I could be wrong, lord knows I have never played in public, but time after time after time I have seen assurances that if someone bothers a submissive in a club the DM will take care of it. They want people to come back after all.. if people do not feel comfortable they are not going to come back....

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 11/26/2006 7:24:02 PM >

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Post #: 41

RE: Disrepecting my Master - 11/26/2006 10:12:51 PM

angaothsi

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The powers that be are there for a REASON, while I wouldn't take every little thing to them, a situation that left me uncomfortable and question if I wanted to return to the club is something that the DM SHOULD have been made aware of.

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RE: Disrepecting my Master - 11/26/2006 10:49:33 PM

OscarHargraves

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If you're not going to take it to the DM then who WOULD you take it too? The idea of being DM is that he is the MASTER of the Dungeon and therefore should be the one to handle any problem within. That just makes good sense, ...... at least to me.

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Post #: 43

RE: Disrepecting my Master - 11/27/2006 7:01:03 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

If you're not going to take it to the DM then who WOULD you take it too? The idea of being DM is that he is the MASTER of the Dungeon and therefore should be the one to handle any problem within. That just makes good sense, ...... at least to me.

At many locations.. the DM is just there to enforce the rules of the Location.... They are not there to police the social graces between individuals. Don't assume what the DM's role is at any given venue. Learn their role for each venue!

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RE: Disrepecting my Master - 11/27/2006 1:22:48 PM

MistressTheaZ

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Joined: 7/17/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Funny enought Tamer Sir you probubly know the guy Im talking about or at least have seen him he is a regular in the club another reason I hesitated to cause trouble, and while the owner seems like a nice guy and his girls are always nice to me (mostly because I look like a lost puppy wondering around the place if Im not emediatly in tow of Master LOL) I just feel uncomfertable to go and talk to them.. the best I can explain it is going back to middle ages and the untouchables how they werent aloud to talk with the other classes.. Well I guess I feel unworthy and shy and could never bring myself to bother them with my petty problems...but the reason I cant simply forget this is because he is a regular and this does have a potential of happening again not to mention this isnt the first run in I have had with this same man!!! And honestly he is very kreepy!!! He makes me uncomfertable uneasy and makes me feel unsafe and then he went and verbally attact my only real defence in the club my Master... As much as it is Masters job to keep me safe i feel the same need to protect him (like I said Momma bear) OK im just rambling now!!

Magik's slave

I also play at this club, Magik's slave, and hate to think you feel so uncomfortable approaching the people there to help! If in doubt, ask your Master politely when entering the club to ask the doorgirl who the appointed DM's are for the evening and point them out for you. While you may like to rely on your Master to protect you and handle aggressive or uncomfortable situations, (and I do not blame you), you should always know, for yourself, who is also there to help you should you need them. I am so sorry to hear about the experience you had there - it never should've happened...but let Me reiterate here, not unkindly, that you do need to help protect yourself and others by informing club staff when others act inappropriately. It would be their nightmare as well to have anyone, male or female, sub or Dominant, traumatized in that manner when DM's were completely unaware to the happenings. Paddles is supposed to be a safe place to play, for everyone, and hopefully we all work together to preserve this as same.

Master Michael does monitor play; I've also seen Jay checking in on everyone in the various play areas, but if something does happen out of their gaze, you have every right to seek out a DM to intercede, whether it involves a regular player or not! It is not a matter of being sub or Dominant, male or female - it is a matter of personal safety and comfort, which We ALL are entitled to. If this man has acted this way with you several times, it's likely he is already on their radar following, undoubtedly, complaints from others as well. Speak up, and do not be afraid. ;)

Best,

~Thea

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Post #: 45

RE: Disrepecting my Master - 11/28/2006 7:57:01 PM

ImpGrrl

Posts: 575
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quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I was under the impression that if someone comes on to a collared submissive, is asked to go away, and they refuse to and makes a submissive uncomfortable that it is the job of the DM to deal with it, that is why they are there after all, to make sure people play nicely and do not touch each other's toys or subs...smiles. I could be wrong, lord knows I have never played in public, but time after time after time I have seen assurances that if someone bothers a submissive in a club the DM will take care of it. They want people to come back after all.. if people do not feel comfortable they are not going to come back....

Touching or aggressively harrassing, sure. Making rude comments - is questionable.

And it applies to everyone - not just s-types.

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Post #: 46

RE: Disrepecting my Master - 11/28/2006 8:00:13 PM

ImpGrrl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

If you're not going to take it to the DM then who WOULD you take it too? The idea of being DM is that he is the MASTER of the Dungeon and therefore should be the one to handle any problem within. That just makes good sense, ...... at least to me.

*Monitor* of the dungeon. It's technically "Dungeon Monitor" - "Dungeon Master" is a D&D thing :)

But IME and IMO, a DM's duties are to make sure the rules are obeyed - both dungeon rules and obvious safety issues (make sure no one dies). And that's it.

Now, if someone is being harassed and the person won't leave them alone after repeated clear "go away"s - then sure, call the DM. But a few mis-placed and mis-spoken comments? IMO, no.

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Post #: 47

RE: Disrepecting my Master - 11/29/2006 11:08:56 AM

MagiksSlave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ImpGrrl

quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves

If you're not going to take it to the DM then who WOULD you take it too? The idea of being DM is that he is the MASTER of the Dungeon and therefore should be the one to handle any problem within. That just makes good sense, ...... at least to me.

*Monitor* of the dungeon. It's technically "Dungeon Monitor" - "Dungeon Master" is a D&D thing :)

But IME and IMO, a DM's duties are to make sure the rules are obeyed - both dungeon rules and obvious safety issues (make sure no one dies). And that's it.

Now, if someone is being harassed and the person won't leave them alone after repeated clear "go away"s - then sure, call the DM. But a few mis-placed and mis-spoken comments? IMO, no.

The DM is the owner of the club!! I Dont know if there is anyone els.. but I dont feel comfertable going up to the owner.... He make me nervouse i dont know why!!

Magik's slave

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Post #: 48

RE: Disrepecting my Master - 11/29/2006 12:37:15 PM

theRose4U

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So then speak with one of his girls. It's been said on here more than once by others that play there the owner (master) and his girls (assume subs) run the club. I would assume you can handle a conversation with another sub?
The reason you're having panic attacks is because what happened so long ago was assault, not kink. Non consentually being held down, struck and who knows what else isn't ok. If you'd spoken up at the time this guy would likely have been on their ban list for some time and probably non-consentually taken out in handcuffs for a crime...assault. The reason you panic, the reason you're so upset now is because you're not resolving the situation. In your mind over and over you're still there...thus the panic. Someone stole your consent, stole your well being and you're allowing them to steal your peace of mind. Standing up and saying...this person hurt me is a big step toward that. Your master can call and talk to them but personally I think that even speaking with the owners subs needs to happen for you to be able to move forward.
This is basic rape recovery stuff. That step of empowering yourself to say this was bad, this person did this is very difficult but it's the first and hardest step towards getting better.

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Post #: 49

RE: Disrepecting my Master - 11/29/2006 2:03:40 PM

angharad

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quote:

What would you say to another sub that his did this to? You have knowledge of this guy's MO, the fact that after over a year it's gotten worse not better and by not letting the owner of the club know what happened both before and now you're allowing it to happen to someone else.

I disagree with your line of thought. It is not MagiksSlaves responsibility to prevent this person from hurting anyone else. It is the person who is doing the action who is responsible for that action. MagiksSlaves responsibility is to herself, to accept what happened and to do what is best for her - whether that includes speaking out or not. No-one wants another sub to be hurt by this person but it isnt MagiksSlaves job to prevent it.

quote:

Someone stole your consent, stole your well being and you're allowing them to steal your peace of mind. Standing up and saying...this person hurt me is a big step toward that.

I agree with this. Once you accept and believe that what this person did was wrong, and not just something you didnt like you, but really really wrong, you have taken a huge step forward. If you want to stand up and say this person was wrong and hurt me there needs to be a change inside, a feeling of I will not be quiet, even if I am afraid. It helps if you feel empowered enough to do this. Not necessarily by other people, but in yourself, and able to cope with making that choice.

I know some may not agree with me, but it is true in my experience, even if I am shaking as I write it, I want MagiksSlave to know my thoughts, in case they help.

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RE: Disrepecting my Master - 11/30/2006 4:54:56 PM

desoutter

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Cavemen used to hit girls in the head with a club and drag them by the hair... owned or not....
whats changed since then?
no dinasaurs.... you see...

I spelled dinosaurs wrong and I dont care...
desoutter

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Post #: 51

RE: Disrepecting my Master - 12/1/2006 5:57:51 PM

MagiksSlave

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I guess the best I can say that I feel comfertable with doing is if he does it again I will talk to Master about takeing it to the owner.

Magik's slave

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If you’re going through hell keep on moving
don't slow down
if you’re scared dont show it
you might get out
before the devil even knows your there.

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Post #: 52