quote:

ORIGINAL: Kalira

Hmm, interesting.

When Master and I first started talking, he had told me that he did not mind if I was with others; as long as he knew about the relationships. Early on, I had let it be known that I had no desire to seek out others and that I would not do so unless he was with me. NOw, this was MY decision, not his. Since then, the subject has not come up again ( the subject being me looking for others ), yet, if it did, my answer would still remain the same. I have no desire to be with others unless it is something that he decides to arrange.

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ORIGINAL: behindmirrors

My Dom is the only male I will be with in any sexual way in our relationship. Period.
Since I am bisexual, though, he has given me more or less free reign to find a girl to play with- as long as I tell him first and obtain his permission. Thus far, I have not played with anyone else. He is also looking to arrange this for me at some point, since he knows I miss being with a girl sometimes, and, well, he just simply finds it hot.
Do I consider our relationship monogamous? Yes. I do, at least for now. It is the only serious and committed relationship I have and will have. I'm not sure if my view of that will change or not when I actually do find myself playing with another girl, but I guess an update will be necessary when it happens. [;)]

behindmirrors.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

It means we do not have sex with, play with, date, cyber with, phone sex with, anyone else.
 
That's pretty much how i see it too.


People can watch him beat me and play with me on a St Andrew's cross ... smiles

He likes the idea of whipping me in public, but he will not have sex with me in front of others. I consider us monogamous.

Do the two of you go to the clubs?
 
DG

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ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

like the one dom you spoke to I can play with others in non sexual fashions like flogging and spanking I may even orgasm by my own hand with no help from them, but I may not suck their dick fuck them or have them fuck me, or put any parts of them into or on me.

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Monogamy for me means that there is an expectation that the people involved will only have an intimate relationship with eachother.

Ahhh.  i think that whenever i have referred to intimacy, for me it involved both the physical and emotional aspects.  If that were the case, i would have to say this is me too.....BUT..... 

Anything but intimate- it's not the act, it's the emotions and intent.  They can fuck em, suck em, beat em, talk to em or hug em- as long as they don't form an intimate relationship.

By intimate then, you are only talking about the emotional aspect here?

I am not at all monogamous.  Even if I do ever choose to be intimate with just one person, there will NEVER be an expectation of monogamy for anyone.

i have to admit, i am a little confused here.  Monogamy means you will only have an intimate (emotional)relationship with one person, but you are not into that.  But if you did choose to be intimate (emotionally connected, let's say)  with one person, there will be no expectation of monogamy....in what sense, the physical?
 
Sorry LA, you lost me here.  i'm just not grasping your difference between monogamy and intimacy in the emotional vs physical sense.
 
See....this is what happens when ya work all day...it deadens the brain cells....lol.
 
In any event, it looks like there might also need to be some distinction made when people use the term 'intimacy'...or being intimate....as well as monogamy.  i think that might mean different things to different people as well.  Hmmm...
 
DG

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ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I can't prove this and have done no formal studies, but I think it's difficult to find monogamous people in the lifestyle.  This is only my experience from talking to others.   But it seems like a "poly" or let's bring in another for "play" is the usual case.

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ORIGINAL: MissUnleaded

Succinct and to the point. 

The same goes for us.

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ORIGINAL: smilezz

I am monogamous sexually with/to Thorns only.  He does not share me with anyone.  Then again, i have no desire for any other Man either.  There is a particular Person that He may allow me to scene with, if i asked, but only for the sake of feeling a new sensation or toy.  There would never be any type of fluid exchange whatsoever in this either. 

~smilezz~

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ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl
So what does monogamy mean in your partnership? 

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What is the extent that others can be involved but you are still considered monogamous?

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So if by chance you did end up being with someone else (whether your Master was present or not, but with his permission)....would you consider yourself monogamous?  i could assume by other answers here that you would....but i don't really want to assume [:D]

quote:

ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl



So what does monogamy mean in your partnership? 
What is the extent that others can be involved but you are still considered monogamous?

If you do consider your relationship monogamous but do include others, would there be a limit as to how far that can go before you feel the 'monogamy line' has been crossed? 

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ORIGINAL: mstrjx

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I can't prove this and have done no formal studies, but I think it's difficult to find monogamous people in the lifestyle.  This is only my experience from talking to others.   But it seems like a "poly" or let's bring in another for "play" is the usual case.

Yes, from my dealings with others, it seemed to be to me that the Lifestyle and 'monogamy' were strange bedfellows.

While all of my relationships were exclusively monogamous (certainly sexually), I was asked to play with many other Doms' subs over the years.  Several of those were married individuals (but not to each other).

So does this mean you only played with others that way when you were single? 

For me, I recognized early on that emotions with WIITWD run rather high, and to take chances with someone's feelings to have multiple partners was ludicrous.  Then again, even in my vanilla relationships prior to that I was monogamous.

Jeff

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This kind of sounds like what Feline was referring to. 
 
So you say no sex, no fluid exchange.  And that would include with other females?

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ORIGINAL: Lady Alaria

I don't do monogamy. Honesty is far more important to me than fidelity, and trust is more important than loyalty. And, in my experience, watching the world, there is way to much paranoia and idiocy around the concept of monogamy. A demand for fidelity seems to, almost invariably, lead to uncertainty of trust.

i think there can be both honesty and fidelity.....and trust and loyalty....so i don't really feel one has to choose one over the other.  But see, i don't want to demand fidelity....i don't think that will ever work.  Rather, i would like to find a partner who views fidelity along the same lines as i do.

Besides, I allow my lover friends. People they share their feelings with, hang out with, play sports with, play other games with, laugh with, cry with. Other people, even, that my lovers love. If intimacy is the question, what is intimacy? I have a level of closeness and emotional trust with my sister and mother, isn't that intimacy(Webster thinks it is)? If the question is sex, then why? What's so special about sex? Why allow everything else, and not that?

There does seem to be this question of what intimacy is.  As i said to LA, i always felt it involved both the physical and emotional (well i guess that's how i used it anyway).  i have 2 female cousins.  We've shared a lifetime of closeness and emotional trust...but i guess i just never thought of using the term intimate in that context.  The same with my daughter (now that she is older, married and pregnant).  We have shared intimacies in the sense of some very personal stories or 'secrets'....but i still would not have considered those intimate relationships.   Hmmm...that is an ineresting question though.

In the modern day, with STDs, there's a bit of a reason. But aside from that, the reasons all seem to be societal and religious in origin. Don't like it, don't do it.

Nothing against those who practice monogamy, I just have never(I mean ever) understood why anyone would want to.

i really don't know if it has to do with upbringing...or one's nature (that nature/nurture thing again?)....or what.  i was raised in a monogamous household.  Even in vanilla, i was always monogamous.  That didn't change when i got into D/s.  It actually still means about the same thing to me now that it did then.
 
i tend to view sex as a very intimate (again that word....lol) dynamic.  When i did have sex, i had always had it with someone i would consider was going to be a LT partner.  Obviously, it did not always work out that way, but that is what i thought at the time.  Again, is that just me...or the way i was raised...or what?  i really don't know....but it just is what it is, i guess.
 
DG