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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

That's an awesome picture, Tikkiee. :)

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ORIGINAL: Missokyst

I have always been monogamous when I am in a relationship.  That means no play, nothing beyond simple flirting (which is my nature), will happen with anyone but my mate. 
When out of a relationship, however, I do what I like when I like.

Oh you lil devil  [sm=evil.gif]        
 
[:D][:D][:D]

DG

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ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

Monogamy for me means no sexual contact, either physical or mental with anyone outside of my relationship. However, I've been there, done that, and monogamy just doesnt seem to be natures way. Very very few species in the world will choose a mate for life.
My Master will not "share" me with other men, however I am permitted to "play" with other women, with or without him present, as long as he is aware it is happening. I'd prefer to play with him present, thats my choice. I'd feel as though I was cheating, even if he knew about it, if I played without him there.
I think you can be truly committed to one person and be theirs and only theirs and still have outer-relationship sexual meeting with others.

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ORIGINAL: daddysprop247

yes it does seem like there are many different ideas of monogamy. occasionally i will describe my Master and i as monogamous, because even though he and i are both physical with others, if i say we are not monogamous many people assume that the relationship is not as committed or as serious.

You see prop....this is what i am discovering here.  On my other thread, i found that those in LDRs could be as committed to their partners as those in RL.  After what i read, i don't think i can come to any other conclusion.
 
Now the question is....what does committed mean?  Does it mean committed to make the relationship work (at some level)?  Does it mean committed to your partners happiness?  When people say they are committed, to exactly what are they committed?
 
This may be another one of those 'what is intimacy' questions.  i know what being committed means to me but now i can't speak on what it means for others.  Does that make any sense?  lol


sexually, we're not monogamous. but yes we're deeply committed to each other, very faithful to one another, and we don't believe in polyamory (a commitment between more than 2 people).

And commitment as used here....you are committed (to something) between the 2 of you which does not extend to others that you may play with or be shared with.  Would that be right? 

He is the sort of Master who likes to show off and share what he owns...it makes him proud and gives him a great deal of pleasure. so others will use me sexually, and sometimes in a bdsm fashion, whenever he gets the urge. it is not about my pleasure or me wanting to be with others...he doesn't really care about such things. it's about serving him and being the sort of slave he needs and desires (a total slut). as for him being with other submissives, it's rare but it does happen. that's totally none of my business...He owns me, not the other way around. He can use or play with whoever he desires.

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ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl
Ahhh.  i think that whenever i have referred to intimacy, for me it involved both the physical and emotional aspects.  If that were the case, i would have to say this is me too.....BUT..... 

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i have to admit, i am a little confused here.  Monogamy means you will only have an intimate (emotional)relationship with one person, but you are not into that.  But if you did choose to be intimate (emotionally connected, let's say)  with one person, there will be no expectation of monogamy....in what sense, the physical?

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ORIGINAL: DomKen

A very complicated subject.

I don't cheat, ever. Never have and can't imagine ever doing so. I don't tolerate my partner cheating on me.

However I'm not monogamous. As long as everyone involved is honest and respectful I have no problem with myself or my partner sweating and groaning with someone else on occasion.

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ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Monogamy refers to something I don't do.

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For me, monogamy means monogamous in all ways....physical, emotional, mental.  No need for others in any way or form. 

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ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

In my eyes, and hopefully that of any potential partner, there are two types of monogamy. The physical, and the emotional.  While i strive for an emotionally monoganous ( which is the emotional intimacy, and the sense of belonging to just One) relationship,  i'm quite open to the absence of physical momnogamy and search for Partners with similiar views on the subject.

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ORIGINAL: slavemaia


For Master and this slave, monogomy is just as it appears - W/we have no erotic, sexual or sensual experiences beyond U/us. He is very possessive of me and, i must admit i like it alot.
 
This is the type i have been involved with too.

Prior to being owned by Chairman, i did try a poly relationship where there was "supposed" to be monogamy among the 3 of us. But, human beings being what they are, some jealousy did come into the picture, as well as confusion. That particular dom very much enjoyed playing with whoever he wished but agreed not to be sexual. However, my question is - how exactly does one play with another without it being sexual to some extent? For me, play itself is quite sexual whether the particular body parts are involved or not. Sex for me is primarily in my head more than the physical parts, so i've never truly been able to understand the term "play without sex".
 
i did not understand play without sex either....just like i did not understand monogamy, with play on the side.  From this thread, i feel i have gotten a much better idea what all that means...in others' lives.
 
It is doubtful i will be other than what i am now because i am content with my decisions...or my tendencies, whichever....but this has really helped me understand where others are coming from when they mention these things.
 
i don't know maia....has this had any effect on your point of view?
 
DG

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ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

Basically, I think of being monogamous as being married to one person and only one person. Since I could happily have several husbands and wives, I guess that means I'm not monogamous. :) That said, Himself and I don't have sexual intercourse outside of our marriage (though we will both engage in S/m activities with other people) and I would have zero issues if he did have sex or allowed me to do so.

I enjoying connection with others on several levels: sex is one, intimacy is another, intellectual a third and so on and so forth and I still maintain hope that Himself will have a commune one day. :)

Celeste

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ORIGINAL: akisha

Well hmm, Lets see.

I have been in a relationship where i did cheat and had absolutely no qualms or guilt about doing so. Pretty much sums up the relationship I think *S*

In my marriage in the begining even tho I would have been into an open relationship he did not believe in them so i honoured his feelings on that. At the end of the relationship I was tempted to cheat but I didn't as I did not want to do that to him. As I feel honesty and integrety are very important. More so to yourself then to anyone else. As you have to live with your actions.

In my current relationship, it's funny but I have no desire to be with anyone else, but if He was interested in bringing in a third for play I probably wouldn't be apposed to that either. I also don't obsess over whether or not he wants to be with someone else. If he does, well truthfully i have no control over that, I only have control over my response to it.

I believe you can be poly monogomous, absolutely.

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ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

i did a search and know this has been discussed before but there are also new members who have joined since then so i am looking for a broad spectrum of opinions.  If you are tired of the topic, please spare me the critque and pass it by.  If you've responded to prior threads on this, still feel the same and would like to just copy and paste your response here, that would be appreciated too.
 
i am monogamous but i realized early on that there seems to be quite a diversity in the definition of monogamy within D/s relationships.   One of the earliest doms i communicated with told me that he and his main partner were monogamous but that he could play with others....as long as he did not have sex with them.  It obviously did not mean the same to me.
 
So what does monogamy mean in your partnership? 
What is the extent that others can be involved but you are still considered monogamous?
If you do consider your relationship monogamous but do include others, would there be a limit as to how far that can go before you feel the 'monogamy line' has been crossed?
 
This is in no way intended to compare that one's idea of monogamy is any better than anyone else's....or what monogamy should mean.  i am just trying to get a feel of what it means to you and your partner.
 
Thanks,
DG

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ORIGINAL: adaddysgirl

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ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

Monogamy for me means no sexual contact, either physical or mental with anyone outside of my relationship. However, I've been there, done that, and monogamy just doesnt seem to be natures way. Very very few species in the world will choose a mate for life.
My Master will not "share" me with other men, however I am permitted to "play" with other women, with or without him present, as long as he is aware it is happening. I'd prefer to play with him present, thats my choice. I'd feel as though I was cheating, even if he knew about it, if I played without him there.
I think you can be truly committed to one person and be theirs and only theirs and still have outer-relationship sexual meeting with others.

But overall, you would not consider this being monogamous?
 
DG

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ORIGINAL: DiurnalVampire
For us, monogamy means we do not interact romatically or sexually with anyone outside the relationship. We are in a one on one relationship, by my choice, and we both prefer it that way.
 
This is what i mean.  If the preference is shared, then it becomes a viable dynamic.  But i wonder...was it as hard for you to find this type of compatibility as it has been for me?  And i wonder if overall, it is easier (or harder) for a Dom/Domme to find such a partner than it is a sub to?  Hmmm....[8|]

Both of us have friends of the opposite gender we are very close to. We are both very physical with those friends, kisses hello and goodbye, hugs and things of that nature.  While I would raise an eyebrow at sharing a bed with someone else if we stayed at their house (I have done it, though, platonically), I dont think that would necessarily cros my line either.  However, playing with someone else, sceneing with them, and anything sexual would most definately cause issues.

i am that way too.  i think i am affectionate like that and none of it has any sexual meaning to me....and i wouldn't mind a partner who felt that way either.  
 
My 2 cents, hope it helped

Yes it did DV.  Thanks  [;)]
 
DG