quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave
which leads me to believe that she is either having irrational mood swings herself or simply allows certain topics and/or people to get to her,

I'll go with C:  I tailor my posts to my intended audience.  Some people need a harsher voice than others. 

First and foremost please excuse any spelling errors I make within this post, I will endeavour to correct any I find/see and should probably type this after the panic attack I am having, but well am kind of hoping responsing my distract me enough to get me through it. On with the post (BTW not saying you or this thread cause the PA);
I would have to ask why you need to be harsh at all? And what prompts you to decide who "need" it and who dont? You catch way more flies with honey than vingar.
 
Some posts require more balance than others.  The idea that the same voice should be used on every point to every person is an idea of a person who doesn't understand the process of communication and discussion.

Not at all, I believe trying to use the same voice with everyoone is showing or attempting to show the same respect to everyone. Certainly sometimes it is neccessary to be more direct when repsonding to some people, but that can be done without bein harsh. I dont think being harsh with people who are obviously upset about something and are posting about what they are upset about is a very good ay of communicating. A simple "talk to him sweetie" goes a lot further than some of your responses.

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which doesnt make sense based on the fact she is quick to remind most that this is the internet and it isnt "real",

You'll have to quote me on when I said that "internet isn't real."  I don't recall that.  In fact in all of the cyber vs offline relationships I've clearly and repeatedly stated that cyber relationships can be very real, but are not at all the SAME AS offline relationships and thus should not be treated the same or expected to progress the same.

I cant find the post - and am really not in the state of mind to go looking - but recall you a number of times asking people why they are getting upset over internet stuff when its not real life or smetthing similar, I took poetics license in exaggerating your POV, cos frankly your lack of compassion at times to people who post when they are obviously upset irks me. For someone criticising me on not understandin the process of comunication or dicussion you seem to do badly when you respond with the harshness you do, showing maybe you dont understand how to communicate at times? As I think I have said, I'd probably be more inclined to listen to what you have to say if you said it without the superior, harsh, critical tone you often use, regardless of your reasons/excuses for using it. Oh and the following post made me feel you were telling me that although I felt I was having a "real" relationship it couldnt be cos its online;
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=672970

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 yet has told me directly she believes that people should always care what she says

You seriously didn't get that that was sarcastic, did you?

Yeah, I got it, just proves again my point that you feeel the need to use sarcasm, harshness and a superior tone when its really not neccesary.

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Many are overly complimentary of her, and I'd go as far as saying I sometimes feel they are really kissing her butt, I dont see her being harsh with those people.

You REALLY need to go and read all of my past threads. 

Why? So I can better know you? You have made no effort to better know or understand me, so I really see no point in putting myself out when you have not shown you are willing to do the same.
 
Almost all the people who enjoy me now and give me some praise, I have crossed very harsh swords with in the past. 

Well again I will say that doesnt surprise me. Its obviously your trait to act superior, harsh and show lack of compassion. Maybe its because you have so many posts that you feel you can be this way? I dont know.
 
It's a process of respect, it's a process of intellectual comprehension.  And at this point- we know and respect eachother enough to simply laugh and accept our differences, or tell eachother that we're crazy- and I know for a fact that none of us would have a single moment's hesitation in doing so.

Well I am sorry, I find it hard to respect someone who shows lack of compassion (in fact you dont even have to show compassion, just not be harsh) to someone who is obviously upset, regardless of whether or not you feel they should be is immaterial.

But it takes a lot of harshness and time to get to that point.

It shouldnt have to take harshness, for Gods sake unless you are trying to be everyone Domme here on the boards, there just isnt a need for it. I have friends who wouldnt hesitate in telling me I'm crazy either, but there didnt have to be a "lot of harshness and time to get to that point".

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I am sure I shall be flamed now, so have donned my asbestos undies and await the flames.

Why are you so sure you will be flamed?  For every person who thinks I rock here, there is another who equally feels I'm an utter idiot who plays around with kink, is so insecure that she has to beat up novice posters to make herself feel good online. 

That's what internet forums are all about.

They do not have to be like that. They are what members make them to be. Yes there will always be the ones who never seem to fit in with anyone. There will be and always are the 'cliches' of people who band together and side with one group and not another. But regardless of this being the internet and/or a forum or not I do not see why the normal social standards of politeness can be abolished and harshness can become an acceptable thing.

We don't flame people for saying what they think in an intelligent and focused manner, and the long term respected posters never flame at all. 

Hang around awhile, see what happens.

Well I intend to, I dont intend to be going anywhere soon.
 
Hope this makes sense, I havent re-read it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

Many are overly complimentary of her, and I'd go as far as saying I sometimes feel they are really kissing her butt, I dont see her being harsh with those people.

You REALLY need to go and read all of my past threads.  Almost all the people who enjoy me now and give me some praise, I have crossed very harsh swords with in the past.  It's a process of respect, it's a process of intellectual comprehension.  And at this point- we know and respect eachother enough to simply laugh and accept our differences, or tell eachother that we're crazy- and I know for a fact that none of us would have a single moment's hesitation in doing so.

But it takes a lot of harshness and time to get to that point.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

LA is definitely a big girl and can take care of herself, but, I believe you are being a bit harsh here too.

LOL, ya think? I'm doing what people tell me she is doing ie calling it as I see it. I dont feel any need to be anything less than as direct and harsh with her as she has been with me.

I will say that she is an uber logical person, admits she lacks empathy, and does rub some people the wrong way. I have rarely had harsh words with her, actually nothing really harsh at all.. and we do not agree on everything. I respect her thoughts, input, and to be frank I do not agree with your assessment of her at all.

Thats fine, as I stated I didnt expect everyone would.

She has been more helpful to newbies than perhaps anyone else here.

I cant agree, of course I speak only from personal experience. Like I have said before she has made a couple of comments that I have agreed with, unfortunately for her I believe she will get through to a lot more people (if she cares about doing that) by being not so harsh or rude.

So you may not like her style, but I do not think you "get" LA, and if you stick around and start to understand her a little more I believe you will look back on your words and regret them. Perhaps you do not choose to know her better, your loss.

I "get" her. She is a lot like me, though I choose not to be harsh, rude or sarcastic with people who are obviously already upset and have come to the forum for help and not her superior attitude. Perhaps she isnt choosing to know me better? Why should I choose to make an effort she isnt willing to attempt? These things go both ways.

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ORIGINAL: Sinergy

Hello A/all,

I see the word "harsh" being thrown about in this thread and it has got me thinking.

First off, 93% of all communication between people is non-verbal.  On an internet message board, we only see 7% of the communication.  I personally would wonder if a person is being "harsh" or "mean" or simply saying something that I do not like to hear.  I cannot hear vocal tones or see body language or whatever, so I cannot tell if the words I am reading in cyberspace are sarcastic or not.

This is sarcasm...
"Yeah, just ignore it and act like nothing happened...sure that ALWAYS works..."
 
This is Harsh....
"Think about the fact that in EVERY one of the threads you've started on how to deal with your relationship, about 95% of the advice given to you is to TALK DIRECTLY TO HIM- and yet you still immediately come here all atwitter...then suddenly act like it's all really just fine and nothing to worry about."
 
I personally did not see anything particularly harsh or mean-spirited in what LuckyAlbatross wrote.  What I do not recall seeing was sugar coating or buying into the whole blame thing.  She went out of her way to write a cogent and lucid analysis of how she felt and posted it.
 
But thats the point, she writes about how SHE feels and posts it, without considering how the person she is responding to may be feeling, that in itself is IMO mean-spirited.

If you dont like it, skip to the next post.  But it seems rather peurile to me to attack her for posting it. 

Hmmm........... yeah, I attacked her (in fact I even stated I wasnt attacking her), she's an angel who has never been harsh, nasty etc etc with anyone. I bow down and appologise (BTW thats also sarcasm - see how it can work?) I do very often skip her posts, but if you will care to look, my response was not to her, but to wench, who felt as though she had been spoken to harshly. I merely agreed and tried to offer MY opinion from what I have observed as to why she does this with some people and not others.
 
It is like the current thread that never ends about sub space.  The original poster got his knickers in a twist since he did not get the answer HE WANTED. 

Actually he got his knickers in a twist because someone made some totally unrelated comment about a "pity party" and then a number of people joined in. There is obviously a "history" there with that poster I am not aware of, so I steered clear.
 
This is an internet message board, not Wendys.  You do not get it your way.  You get strangers you dont really know expressing their opinions.  You dont like hearing the opinions of others, there is always the cooking channel.

I am more than happy to listen to and consider anyones opinion on anything, I just dont feel I need to be spoken down to or spoken to harshly to have to hear it. If thats the way people wish to communicate thats their choice, of course.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I do not know why you are such an angry person, good luck with that. BTW, I have lost count on the many thank yous that have been posted to LA, the CM librarian, you may not like the service, many others do appreciate it...

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ORIGINAL: Lorelei115

When did this become the "Lucky Albatross" thread?? *laugh*

In any case, LA herself has admitted that she is more of a "shark" online. If that is the way she chooses to express herself, then that is her right... I personally don't agree with her style myself, also occaisionally finding it "high handed" but I 100% support her right to call things as she sees them. If that causes some people like you and myself to skip over her posts, then that's the way it works out, and Im sure she's not losing any sleep over it. Neither should we.

Thank you, finally someone who see's what I am trying to say. And believe I am not losing any sleep either.

It takes all kinds... if all someone is looking for on the boards is cuddly sympathy, they can state that and they shall usually recieve it in abundance. If, on the other hand, they are looking for a range of opionions, they should be prepared to accept that sometimes something someone says to them might be construed as "harsh".

I believe the OP's only question was if anyone else had experienced a similar situation with their Master.

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Dont answer, its obvious why.

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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Dont answer, its obvious why.

one, I will answer whatever I like, you are not my Dom

My Daddy is the only person whose camp I am in. If you read enough of me that will soon become apparent.

Now whose angry?

And your harshness for one person and not another seems to be a bit of the pot kettle syndrome, or was it you that pointed out to LA that she should not choose who to be harsh to.... it seems you also make the same choices... funny how people are often hypocritical.

You seem angry, and I am not sure you exactly get it - I came here, I had been harsh to NO-ONE, LA was - IMO - extremely harsh and rude with me in my first posting/thread etc. Not a terribly great first impression, but as people have said I doubt she cares or loses sleep after it any more than I do. I tend to treat people as they treat me, she was rude and harsh with me, I therefore see no reason to treat her with any more respect than she does me.

I have no idea about your anger states, I am just stating it how I see it, which has about as much validity as anything you have spewed on this thread if you ask me.

Well allow me to assure you I type with no anger and yeah I have been harsh toward LA, but IMO no more harsh than she has been with me or others.
Maybe you ought to take LA's advice to me and read all my posts before making a decision about me? Again, thats really not neccesary because you have already made up your mind about me, as I have made up my mind about LA and thats fine, its your choice.

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ORIGINAL: texancutie

Lost on the angry person comment.....I don't see him as angry at all. 

Thanks, I am not angry - I am also not a guy  
 
Just think he is posting an honest opinion like everyone else does.  We all don't have to agree on who we respect and who we do not.. I don't think it really even matters.  Besides most of us will never meet real life to even know if we would even have anything in common with each other...lol.  And it is obvious that some people take these forums a bit too seriously at times.  I think some post just so they can appear to be all knowing, rather than being truly helpful or kind to the OP. 

I tend to be a bit too empathetic at times and do take someone posting their sadness at a problem as serious, just my nature. If someone is genuinely upset over something I like to think I can help, of course thats not always possible.

Gives them a place to shine...and I am not pointing any fingers at anyone either.  Just making a passing, general comment.

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ORIGINAL: SamKeithsslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

LA is definitely a big girl and can take care of herself, but, I believe you are being a bit harsh here too.

LOL, ya think? I'm doing what people tell me she is doing ie calling it as I see it. I dont feel any need to be anything less than as direct and harsh with her as she has been with me.

You seem to be both taking this personally and making it personal....

It doesnt really need to be either..



_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to SamKeithsslave)

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ORIGINAL: MagiksSlave

Well maybe thats why you felt sick when he called you... Your in 24/7 TPE he cant just say "I dont feel like beeing Masterfull right now" just like you cant say I dont feel like beeing a sub right now