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RE: Younger Masters? - 11/25/2006 9:11:18 AM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Yes, few relationships of any kind.  How many parent-child relationships does a human being have in one life? 


I guess it depends on how many kids they have.  Let's see, for me in particular...I had one with my father, until he passed away and one with my mother who is still living.  And I have one with my own child.  So that would be 3 for me in particular.  If you want to count grandparent/grandchild relationships that spanned a lifetime,  we can add another 4 to that list and call it 7 relationships that have endured lifetimes just on this level alone.

quote:

I really don't believe that you have DOZENS of relationships that you expect to last till death.


Im not concerned with you calling me liar frankly, but will explain it in hopes that you might consider that my mileage may vary from yours.  I have a brother, nieces, nephews, 8 cousins, several aunts and uncles and a at least 6 close friends  that I have known for a lifetime, and continue to see on a regular basis, some of those relationships, depending on the ages of those Im speaking about have gone on for some 4 decades now.  Others have gone on (nieces, nephews, cousins that are younger than myself) for their entire lives so far.  I have no reason to believe that any of them will end.

quote:

Either you're being very loose with the word "relationship," or you've overestimated.


Relationships, the way I would describe them, are usually when 2 people interact personally for a period of time, whether it be family, lovers, friendship, parent/teacher whatever.  The relationships of which I speak have all been and continue to be very substantial ones to both parties involved.  Im not sure how you define relationship, but I personally am not speaking about my relationship with the cashier that I see at the grocery store or the girl at the bank who cashes checks for me. 

quote:

The statistic I think you're talking about is that 50% of marriages don't end in divorce.

http://www.census.gov/prod/2002pubs/p70-80.pdf
That's 50% of MARRIAGES, not 50% of relationships.  By definition, anyone with a marriage that lasts till death has only one such relationship.  I'd call that "few." 


I wonder what percentage a few means?  And I wonder how many of these people whose marriages have lasted, have confirmed for you personally that their marriage was the only relationship in their lives that was long term or lasted a lifetime. 

(Beyond that, The person I responded to, spoke to me about his marriage in particular, and I responded directly to that. You decided to take my commentary out of context, and use it as a springboard to make one big huge general sweeping statement about "ALL TYPES" of relationships.  Clearly I have shown you, that many relationships, of varying types, if not at least a substantial number of them last till death.)

If you want to discuss the duration of 'love affair' relationships in particular, I could do that too.  But your sweeping generalized comment was not limited to those types of relationships.  

I seriously doubt that you will find anyone who will agree with your statement which was....

"Few relationships of any kind last for the duration". 

Are you still sure you stand behind that? Or would you like to call me a liar again, because you need to be right that badly?


quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo




"Few relationships of any kind???"  last for the duration? 

How about parent child relationships, familial relationships and frienships?  So far, I've been  involved in dozens of those that have lasted some 42 yrs to this point and will last until death.

As far as male/female relationships and/or marriages....I think your statement is still a stretch, and probably innacurate.  Though I don't have any stats in front of me, Ive heard its about 50%. And from what I have observed in those around me, family, grandparents, friends marriages etc, I have seen many relationships span at least decades (my own marriage included)  if not a lifetime, for many other couples.  And as many do split,  but I wouldn't say that "few" relationships last long term or for the "duration".  I would have to disagree with that, but conceed that maybe in your experiences that is what you have seen.

Anyway, for clarity purposes, my statement was in reference specifically to those with huge age gaps between the two people involved.  I believe that relationships where there is an entire generation gap between the two parties have the odds stacked highly against them for making it long-term or the "duration", so to speak.   Im not saying it couldnt happen, Im just saying I would be surprised to see it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Few relationships of any kind last for the duration.



< Message edited by marieToo -- 11/25/2006 9:13:35 AM >

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RE: Younger Masters? - 11/25/2006 9:47:00 AM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: reofbl
I'm twenty, and a Master.  I can't tell you how many eyebrows that seems to raise on this site, and similar ones on the net.  It seems to be quite a contrast, to real life, where I've been able to find slaves with little difficulty.  Then again, in real life, the focus seems to be on the relationship, not the nature of it, so I'm wondering if that's the source of the difference.

Still, here's what I'm curious about: do slaves expect a Master to be much older?  Do subs?  What're some thoughts and opinions on this?


I do not consider myself a slave, so I do not use the term "Master."  However, it does seem to indicate a certain amount of experience (both life and "kink" wise).  But only the persons in the relationship determine what titles are appropriate to define how they relate to each other.

My Lord is 21 and I am 25.  Those few years do show in a larger way when talking about life experiences, but in terms of our dynamic they have little to no bearing.  He is assertive, confident, decisive, kind but firm, and a good listening - all things I would seek in a Dominant, no matter their age. 

The fact that I choose to submit to someone younger than I am doesn't bother me.  As you said, the important thing for us is the relationship - the D/s is just the title we choose to explain our dynamic.  Our mentor, whom I refer to as Sir, is 60 years old.   I submit to him as easily as I do My Lord and that comes from the trust I have with him.  Again, it's more focused on the relationship than anything else.


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Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/25/2006 11:02:58 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I don't have to call you a liar to stand by my statement, and I think you should know by now that I couldn't care less whether "anyone" will agree with it.  Yes, you can list the various relationships you have with your grandparents and all your cousins and cousin's cousins, and those obviously last till death, but most people do not have very deep relationships with more than a few cousins at the most.  I personally have rewarding relationships with exactly four family members.  (I've also noticed that the people who claim to have the most loving and close-knit families usually have the most dysfunctional families of all.)

Think of it this way.  How many people attend the average funeral?  Maybe 20?  Out of a lifetime of relationships, I'd call that "few."

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

I seriously doubt that you will find anyone who will agree with your statement which was....

"Few relationships of any kind last for the duration". 

Are you still sure you stand behind that? Or would you like to call me a liar again, because you need to be right that badly?

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/25/2006 11:21:04 AM   
ownedgirlie


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Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
Think of it this way.  How many people attend the average funeral?  Maybe 20?  Out of a lifetime of relationships, I'd call that "few."

I had to interject on this part.  Just 20?  I have been to more than my share of funerals in the last few years, and none of them had less than 100. 20 would seem so sad to me.

Since I'm already intruding on your conversation, I'll continue by saying I believe that few intimate relationships stay the course, but most familial relationships do (most but not all, in my family's case).

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/25/2006 11:27:55 AM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		Maybe 20 was too low--but I've also attended plenty of funerals for people who didn't mean very much to me, so you can't assume that everyone who goes to a funeral had much of a relationship with the deceased.

I think we're basically arguing over the meaning of the word "relationship," and for me a relationship isn't worth jackshit if you can't call the person at any moment and know you can count on the other person to do everything he or she can truly do for you.  I don't count all my freaking cousins.  If you want to, bless your heart, but you might be in for some disappointment down the road.

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Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/25/2006 11:45:30 AM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

Maybe 20 was too low--but I've also attended plenty of funerals for people who didn't mean very much to me, so you can't assume that everyone who goes to a funeral had much of a relationship with the deceased.

Bah!  Don't you know how special my family and friends are??  Everyone who goes means it! 

Actually I do see your point, but my family is also very BIG so 20 wouldn't even satisfy those front rows reserved for family only.

quote:


I think we're basically arguing over the meaning of the word "relationship," and for me a relationship isn't worth jackshit if you can't call the person at any moment and know you can count on the other person to do everything he or she can truly do for you.  I don't count all my freaking cousins.  If you want to, bless your heart, but you might be in for some disappointment down the road.

I think you're right that we are applying different meanings.  For me, "relationship" is simply the way two or more people relate.  It may or may not be intimate or meaningful. Your definition is what I would call a very close friend.  Outside my mother and four siblings and two very special cousins, I have 4 people in my life who would be there in heartbeat should I need it.  I know this because I have had to call on them this past year. I consider myself quite blessed for it. 3 of those 4 relationships I've had for 15-20 years.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/25/2006 11:49:22 AM   
cuddleheart50


Posts: 9718
Joined: 2/20/2006
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		I sure would like to "try" a younger Master...hehehe

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Sing like no one is listening.
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and live like it's heaven on Earth.


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Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/25/2006 12:21:49 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

I don't have to call you a liar to stand by my statement,


No, you dont, but you did in your previous post. Im happy to see that you've taken a different direction in this response though

quote:

 Yes, you can list the various relationships you have with your grandparents and all your cousins and cousin's cousins, and those obviously last till death, but most people do not have very deep relationships with more than a few cousins at the most. 


I only gave cousins as one of many  examples to show you that I wasn't lying about the number of people that I have had lifetime relationships with. You really didn't speak specifically of cousins originally, yet now you are fixated upon cousins and cousins of cousins   And now you are now bringing "depth" into your statement as well. where it didn't exist before.  I mean....I would imagine that the words "relationships of any kind" would actually mean relationships of "any kind".   Or did you mean relationships that you specifically would define as ones of "depth"? Then of course we would have to discuss what "depth" means.  But we werent talking about our respective opinions of the quality of relationships, we were talking about the "duration". 

quote:

I personally have rewarding relationships with exactly four family members.


But your statement wasn't only regarding "family" members or 'rewarding' relationships, remember?  It was about "relationships of ANY KIND".   Have you ever had a marriage? A love affair or friendship span decades or a lifetime or a long duration?  Maybe even one that wasn't "rewarding"?  It's still a relationship, (ie a daughter and a father who dont get along) isn't it? Even if its not "rewarding" by yours or my standards, would that mean it didnt last the "duration"?

quote:

  (I've also noticed that the people who claim to have the most loving and close-knit families usually have the most dysfunctional families of all.)


Im not sure what the level of functionality or love (or at least your definition of the words) has anything to do with your original statement, but now you're also bringing functionality and level of love into it, neither of which proves the duration of a relationship.

What you said was .....
 
"Few relationships of any kind last the duration" . 
 
Or did you mean to say something like....

" I have seen very few loving relationships that I would consider deep, rewarding, and functional, last the duration".  ?
 
Cuz if thats what you meant to say, Id understand it beyond understanding.  Id also agree with it, though Im sure you don't need that.
 
 





quote:

Think of it this way.  How many people attend the average funeral?  Maybe 20?  Out of a lifetime of relationships, I'd call that "few."


Oh and just as an aside.....

I have never researched the number of people at an average funeral. I have never been to one that comes close to being as small as 20 ppl.  Though Im sure some have and Im sure there are some where there are no attendants.  But then, funeral attendance does not prove or disprove the term of anyone's lifes' relationships; be it the dead person or the people who didnt attend because they may have predeceased the one in the casket, or for a myriad of other reasons.  Surely you are not taking the size of what you imagine to be the 'average funeral' turnout and using it to prove a theory that most people have very few long lasting relationships in their lifetime.  Or are you?  Oh...nevermind...Dont answer that.



_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/25/2006 12:26:07 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		I explained a couple of posts later what the word "relationship" means to me.

At this point, I don't even know what we're arguing about, but if you'd like to believe that many relationships really do last till death, God bless.

quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

What you said was .....
 
"Few relationships of any kind last the duration" . 
 
Or did you mean to say something like....

" I have seen very few loving relationships that I would consider deep, rewarding, and functional, last the duration".  ?
 
Cuz if thats what you meant to say, Id understand it beyond understanding.  Id also agree with it, though Im sure you don't need that.

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Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/25/2006 10:21:39 PM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: reofbl

Hey all.

I'm twenty, and a Master.  I can't tell you how many eyebrows that seems to raise on this site, and similar ones on the net.  It seems to be quite a contrast, to real life, where I've been able to find slaves with little difficulty.  Then again, in real life, the focus seems to be on the relationship, not the nature of it, so I'm wondering if that's the source of the difference.

Still, here's what I'm curious about: do slaves expect a Master to be much older?  Do subs?  What're some thoughts and opinions on this?


i dont mean to be rude but perhpas if you say Im a Dominant??  perhas it may come out a bit better....you cant have mastered everything already!!  as I said i do not mean to be ridde but that may be the issue

i wish you well

little red

_____________________________

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than it is to be loved for something you are not

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Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/25/2006 10:42:05 PM   
Denny17


Posts: 86
Joined: 11/5/2006
Status: offline 		for this obedient male age is not a deal breaker.  when the dominant Master can effectively train a willing sub and  he is sane and experienced in all areas, i'm able and ready to please.

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Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/27/2006 8:16:02 AM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		ok i will add my 2 cents to the marrige thing  My sister met her husbnad when se was 22 and he was 44 and 15 years and 3 childern later they are still going strong.

Now for the op's question i have always liked older masters not always but usually have more experience and are more patient.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to Denny17)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/27/2006 8:36:14 AM   
SaphireLynn


Posts: 145
Joined: 2/15/2005
Status: offline 		at 20 you are in school... you can not support yourself... you depend on others... you do not control your own life... so how can you take control of anothers? How is your credit? Do you have excellent credit? if not then you can't control it... That is what a good Dom... To have total control of thier own life... to be settled and secure in thier life...
Ms. Lynn

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Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/27/2006 8:45:13 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SaphireLynn
at 20 you are in school... you can not support yourself... you depend on others... you do not control your own life... so how can you take control of anothers? How is your credit? Do you have excellent credit? if not then you can't control it... That is what a good Dom... To have total control of thier own life... to be settled and secure in thier life...
Ms. Lynn

I know plenty of people in school who support themselves, and plenty of people in their younger 20s who have a much better grip and security on life than many 30+ people.

Let's not go making unrealistic generalizations.

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/27/2006 9:08:52 AM   
sirssatin


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Geez.  Beating someone doesn't make you a master.  You've just proved the case against younger Masters.

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Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/27/2006 10:43:44 AM   
daddysprop247


Posts: 1712
Joined: 6/24/2005
From: DC Metro area
Status: offline 		well i'll be honest and say that i have a hard time taking someone seriously when they say they are 18, 19, 20 yrs old, and a "Master". unless they are from a nation and society where there are slaves or indentured servants who belong to a particular family, AND their family is one such family and so this particular person has technically had a slave since birth...then what or who exactly are they a "Master" of? now being a Dominant is another thing, that is a personality trait, something innate in a person from birth, so i have no issue with someone saying they are 20 yrs, heck, 15 yrs old, and a Dominant. but a Master?

anywho, i could never be with a younger Master. i became slave when i was 19, to my Master who was 38 at the time. and believe it or not, at the time i was really concerned that perhaps he was too YOUNG for me, as ideally i had always wanted a Master at least 20 yrs my senior. that is because in order for me to respect, admire, feel protected, look up to, etc., a Man as a Master, i need to know that he is experienced in life, fully settled in his personality and ways, stable and secure emotionally and financially, and most importantly that he has the wisdom and knowledge to be completely in control of another person...i mean, my life is literally in his hands...he can shape my fate at his will...such absolute power and authority just would not be possible (imo) with someone who was not significantly older.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/27/2006 12:33:05 PM   
ownedjulia


Posts: 218
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		As the others have said - Attitude and not age is important. My own Master is some three years younger than i am.

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owned slave and proud of it!

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Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/27/2006 12:46:37 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		A ittle basic math here.
At age 20 you have (using an age 12 as a baseline) 8 years of life experence to draw from.
At age 30 you have 18 years to draw from.

Now that does not mean that person A and person B will have the same result even at the same age.

But if you are framiliar with comparisons you know the qualifying statement of ALL OTHER THINGS BEING EQUAL...

To exclude all the possible variatons realisticly is impossible, but you can extrapolate somewhat.

There is some medical science that goes to this as well, some studie have concluded that the part of the human brain that performs the risk analysis function does not finish forming until the mid 20's on average.

Just a few reality items that may apply.

< Message edited by Archer -- 11/27/2006 1:40:33 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/27/2006 1:00:37 PM   
Archer


Posts: 3207
Joined: 3/11/2005
Status: offline 		I guess the perfect argument would be:
In 10 years will you be a better Dominant than you are today?
If age doesn't matter at all then you would expect to not get any better over those years.
But if it is one of the Contributing Factors to experience and ability then you will most certainly be a better Dominant in 10 years than you are today.
You as the example is the only way to ensure it is an "All other things being equal" example.

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Younger Masters? - 11/27/2006 1:32:38 PM   
amaidiamond


Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline 		I have to admit I think age is really nothing, it's all about personal maturity and individual dynamic, I'd personally rather belong to a 25 year old Dom with 7 years experience than a 40 year old Dom with 6 months experience, it's all about the life and mentality of the people involved.
I am 24 and have been exploring the lifestyle for 8 years (age of consent 16 here) and I read for a year or two before that when who and what I was started making it's way into my brain, it's almost like I've always known and was waiting for the light to click on in my head.
Why should that not be the case for a young Dom/me? why should age have to = quality?
I have to admit for the first time in those years I am with a man younger than me, He is approaching 23, and also for the first time in those years I have met one who leaves me fufilled, happy, secure in his control and one that I know can deal with me, warts and all, not just as a toy or a game or a plaything, but also as a person and a girl in my own right, I have met a lot of Doms in my time in the scene and that the one that makes me feel *home* is two years younger, well who cares. Not me thats for sure. I'll take the age inside over the age outside anyday..

(in reply to Archer)
Profile   Post #: 60
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