RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (Full Version)

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lovetokissnylons -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 3:25:21 PM)

This thread has been a trip to read, even though it's been damn near impossible to get to (or near ?) the end.
Thanks for all the hilarious comments -- and your thoughts behind them.  Only one question:  we've heard from Ron, Claire, Benji, Pandora, and all the rest of you, but ...... what's Aileen think of all this ?  Where IS Aileen ?  Hope she's OK.



skiesel93 -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 3:41:35 PM)

Pretty interesting thread. I have no love for alt, and I can easily, easily believe that alt really could care less about the quality and activities of the people who use it. It is also, in my opinion, a pretty damn bad S&M "resource". Collarme obviously places the value of community building over profit, and is said to have the best, and most genuine sort of people. When I used alt I just really felt like I was being bullshitted by them all the time and I felt so patronized to be treated like an idiot with a dick, a wallet, and a reptile brain. Again, collarme has different priorities in how it sees and treats it's membership. I personally find the aims of Mistress Vanessa's group to be noble and honorable, regardless of how new and small it is. And while I see the justification and basis for much of the backlash against her, I think it's excessive and makes people look like the egotistical, full-of-themself prima donnas that they point to her for being. It's funny benji mentioned socialism is to rape what charity is to sex. I've never heard that before, but I've always liked to use the analogy "non-consensual (real, everyday life) power structures are to rape what BDSM is to sex". What, if any, power structure did Mistress Vanessa try to establish in this thread? What, if any, power structure did the responders try to establish? What rules underlied the struggle back and forth, if any, for dominance? How was the game played? And how does this compare to consensual power play and exchange? Discuss. And flame me. [:)][8|]



lovetokissnylons -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 3:49:14 PM)

No flames, skiesel.  Pretty interesting thought .....



mnottertail -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 3:51:11 PM)

Oracle of Delphi, here;

I think I did the most in the way of incisive analysis of shortcomings in the think-tanking areas, although-- to be truthful there are some great philosophers out here... I was going to comment that the article on Alexander the Great bore a largely parallel resemblance to an Earnest goes to------movie teaser/trailer, but I thought I would wait to have my other issues addressed beforehand.

OD



LTRsubNW -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 3:52:44 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: SDFemDom4cuck
As you can see she popped back on once and didn't really reply in any way to the ensuing posts. Perhaps none of us are worthy of her peachy little "organization". I can't tell you how hurt I am by that.


I can actually sense your pain.



philosophy -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 3:53:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail
I was going to comment that the article on Alexander the Great bore a largely parallel resemblance to an Earnest goes to------movie teaser/trailer...........


......surely more Kerouac, or possibly Joyce........



mnottertail -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 3:58:12 PM)

I didn't get a real edgy kinda feel from it, did you?

Ron 



Fitznicely -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 4:04:04 PM)

Edited: You know that feeling when you read back what you've written adn just think "That's fucking bollocks, that is"?

Yeah.

Storm in a pisspot.

BTW, a quote from her website: She requires members of her merrie band to display "a higher standard of conduct, embracing honor, integrity, and respect"



philosophy -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 4:05:37 PM)

well, if we define edgy as almost getting a stitch from laughing.......then yes.



Lordandmaster -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 4:12:00 PM)

I can assure you, she is most definitely OK.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovetokissnylons

Only one question:  we've heard from Ron, Claire, Benji, Pandora, and all the rest of you, but ...... what's Aileen think of all this ?  Where IS Aileen ?  Hope she's OK.



aleshaDreams -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 4:44:40 PM)

After reading this thread to page 4 and finally finding a link to core on page 5 and then visiting the core site, i have to say gravely disappointed in what i found.  While your intent might be good in some ways, your purpose with ill intent not.  I am a member of alt, bondage, here, another friggin place and another friggin place.  You want to do good in protecting us lam ass submissives out here, or protect us from money laundering baffoons perhaps build a site with less doorways aka click this link and this link and register here, and confirm membership blah blah blah.

You want to protect make access to information accessible, easy to read and rid it of personal opinion and disdain for the anything or any other site that seems to provoke some steam in you.  Rules of Use are planted on nearly every site on the internet, if you break the rules the site has every right to discontinue your membership.

Site use regardless of which one is at the chosing of each individual.  If one choses to pay for special priviledges then so be it, if not then so be it also.  No one forces anyone to pay, it is choice and heck 'free choice' at that.  I use alt cause it keeps me tied closer to the local community, yes many are active on there and don't pay but there are many free services available including yes the blogs.  i use collar me for information exchange cause the forum is wonderful for that and there is a good mix of experience and opinion.

Whatever the choice one makes is at their discretion and this thread reminds me of the days of the globe when adult content was be condooned by the religious fanatics, and hammered by people wanting to take it down, eventually it went down for monetary reasons and others.  But the anology is similiar to what the op brings forth.  While profess 'free' while at the same dismissing the 'choice' of individuals.  You really want to be our protectors, then make your purpose gettting useful information out there to people rather than sounding your horn cause you got a pissy taste in your mouth because you did not follow the rules.



stef -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 4:59:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

I can actually sense your pain.

Are you sure that's not just gas?

~stef



BitaTruble -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 5:19:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: skiesel93
I personally find the aims of Mistress Vanessa's group to be noble and honorable, regardless of how new and small it is.


Then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, does it?

quote:

And while I see the justification and basis for much of the backlash against her, I think it's excessive and makes people look like the egotistical, full-of-themself prima donnas that they point to her for being.


I think you missed the posts that were actually pulled so your view of the events which took place is, therefore, skewed. Some people do seem to take a bit of umbrage at being denigrated, dismissed, ignored and being told they are diseased. People are funny that way. All that said, the fact that you choose to point out your own view in the way you just did speaks to no one but yourself. Funny, too, how that works out. You could have chosen to take the high road, but instead chose to take the low. It was, and will remain, your option to always do so.

quote:

It's funny benji mentioned socialism is to rape what charity is to sex.


Benji's sig line actually reads: "Socialism is to charity what rape is to sex."

quote:

 What, if any, power structure did Mistress Vanessa try to establish in this thread?


Personal vendetta against another site which has zero to do with Collarme. She was disrespectful to someone who actually has paid their dues here by continued use of an incorrect name even after she was corrected. Further, she quite clearly tried to seize power over some posters who disagreed with some of her assessments by denigrating their character and even their mental health. Superior proclamations and elitist jargon are clear signs of a grab for power. The grab failed, but the attempt was made.

quote:

What, if any, power structure did the responders try to establish?


None, they simply tried to correct her when she was wrong or ask questions to get clarity on what, exactly, it is that she's trying to accomplish with TIC. The motivation was known, but the criteria for certain aspects was not known so questions were asked. Many of those questions went unanswered and remain unanswered. There were those select view (as there always are) who like to poke newbies with sticks to see if they'll turn around and bite.

quote:

What rules underlied the struggle back and forth, if any, for dominance?


The TOS is the only established rule for forum posting. It was violated and the offenders posts were pulled. The Moderators are the only clique with any power. If anyone thinks they have any power here at all, they are in need of a reality check so trying to seize power won't do any good.

quote:

How was the game played?


Poorly.

quote:

And how does this compare to consensual power play and exchange?


As soon as you write to the forums, you have consented to forum participation, that's the exchange part. Some folks made the choice to play (folks from both sides) and some tried to engage in discussion and voice opinions which were skeptical but still courteous. As for power, as stated, the only ones with power are the Mods.

quote:

Discuss.


Done.

quote:

And flame me. [:)][8|]


Not my style.

I like your profile by the way.. especially the part where you state that you love everyone so I found it a bit odd that you made a remark about Goreans (something about how retarded they got) on another thread which, to me, appeared a bit on the nasty side of life, not the love side, but, no one is perfect.

Welcome to Collarme.

Celeste



BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 5:23:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
PPS:  I'll remind everyone that NO ONE can be confirmed until I sprinkle them with my sub-dust.


It is hypo-allergenic sub-dust isn't it?  I've been sneezing enough of my brain cells out today and would like to maintain a modicum of dignity during the confirmation ceremony. [;)]



LTRsubNW -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 5:25:29 PM)


quote:



Oh my goodness, LTR...

I don't know whether I love you or hate you right now!  I read this and laughed so hard I startled the cat and she tumbled off the chair.  So then I laughed even more, but tried to stifle it, and made snorting sounds...  I finally got myself together and got to the second part about revising your profile, and nearly pissed myself laughing so hard.  [:D]

I know laughter is good for the soul and all that, but it toppled my cat onto the floor and almost rendered me incontinent!  LMAO...

~ DRH 


(I certainly hope you weren't doing that on company time).



topcat -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 5:30:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji

Okay.  A brief essay on the joys of doing good, by benji G. dog

In every organization, there are always the self proclaimed saviours.  In hockey, we call them referees.  In politics, we call them politicians.  In BDSM, we (apparently) call them TICs.

These Do-Gooders, also known as Dog-Ooders, always have a pet cause, be it the environment, safety, or sluts being used respectfully.  They latch onto this, and decide that anyone not up to their par with this single issue is worse than Hitler, Ghengis Khan, and Dr. No combined. 

As such, they vow to bring down this Satanic ritual of an opponent, regardless of the opposition.  Despite the obvious demand for this "drinking of newborn's blood," the organisation must be brought to its knees.

And often, it is.  And, in 100% of the cases where the outlet is destroyed, but not the demand, it comes back in another form.

However, by then, the Dog-Ooder has a fait accompli, and can proclaim their victory from the balcony, but also claim that the battle has only just begun.  In order to truly succeed, all such evil must be stopped.

And so, the Dog-Ooders can continually win, without really accomplishing anything at all.

Yours,


benji


GOOD BOY!
 
<cookie>
<bellyrubs>



mnottertail -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 5:49:30 PM)

OK, let's just think about the realisticness, regardless of the laudable intent of one proposal:

The national or global safe call line:

So, I register:  whadda ya want
Herman T Ferbisher
license M-410-636-565-739
phone 218 555 1212
ssn 567-890-1234
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Dismal Seepage, North Dakota 57222

forget the fact that all the above is fugazi...easy enough to spoof....but let's say it's real
so at some point a bunch of people are on this centralized and managed list....they have lesbians, and mouthpieces and gestapo that are on the panel for this oversight.... cooli-fuckin'-o,
so I hook up with some bimbo from Ghana who is looking to hoover  my  Ingvald the Intruder for a couple weeks straight...........
astonishing and astounding..........
couple weeks later, she is on the rag and is unsure if all her moving parts are still there,
who knows, didn't slap her tits square enough; didn't get her pissflaps vibrating at 109.9 megacycles; whatever---as so often happens, without the least little bit of guile, completely without rancor and vengance in her rotten little fuckin' heart,  and totally devoid of anything other than innocence, she goes to the local constable and asks, is this common?  am I the only one? I signed up on this list, and------------------

List?  List? says the Lavrenty Beria guy in charge at the local constabulary.

Badda Bing, Badda Boom...........welocme to the  largest terroristic and sexual predator conspiracy bust in the world............

J. Edgar Hoover only need stick the floppy in drive C: and hit enter and open a folder in the Washington computer and file it under codename UNSUCK ----

Or am I chicken little and need to calm the fuck down, because the issues are clearly delineated by the crack troops manning the perimeter of TIC?

I am heartily ashamed that I said excuse me--- guys?  Could I float a couple what-ifs at you and see what up?  But, I guess I am a pish-tosher of the highest order, and am not in need of an assurance from the inner sanctum, other than we got you covered,  that I don't have to cut the rug with Charlie Manson Saturday night............... 

John "FUCKIN'" Doe



findmedaddy -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 6:08:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: skiesel93

I personally find the aims of Mistress Vanessa's group to be noble and honorable, regardless of how new and small it is. And while I see the justification and basis for much of the backlash against her, I think it's excessive and makes people look like the egotistical, full-of-themself prima donnas that they point to her for being.


I agree with this and have assumed that my surprise at the overreaction is because I have so much less experience, both with D/s and with online mesage boards, than those who have posted and who post on many of the other threads. A real nerve was touched, I think, and I hope people feel better for having expressed their strong doubts.

This has been kind of like the frenzy that goes on when a celebrity makes a comment that s/he lives to regret -- every word gets parsed for days. That's something I do know about, since in past jobs I've been paid to keep people from saying or writing things that will cause the frenzy. In public life, it's made for incredibly bland discourse (if "incredibly bland" isn't an oxymoron), because you almost can't utter a thought that contains nuance, on some topics. You can if you are anonymous, of course. So maybe we all bring the excessiveness to places like this, where we can hammer other people and pay no consequences.

The Internet ought to come with instructions on how to thicken the skin.

Or maybe I'm full of it, too.



Daddysredhead -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 6:33:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW


quote:



Oh my goodness, LTR...

I don't know whether I love you or hate you right now!  I read this and laughed so hard I startled the cat and she tumbled off the chair.  So then I laughed even more, but tried to stifle it, and made snorting sounds...  I finally got myself together and got to the second part about revising your profile, and nearly pissed myself laughing so hard.  [:D]

I know laughter is good for the soul and all that, but it toppled my cat onto the floor and almost rendered me incontinent!  LMAO...

~ DRH 


(I certainly hope you weren't doing that on company time).


No...  I was actually doing it on my time...  if I would've done that at work, I'm afraid they would have taken me away in a straight jacket...  [:D]



RedSavageSlave -> RE: The Other BDSM Personals Sites (11/28/2006 6:58:35 PM)

ahhh .... but would it have been consensual bondage???

<incoherent minds want to know>



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