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RE: Why are people confused about 24/7 TPE??? - 12/7/2006 7:24:11 AM

Kalira

Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
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quote:

The biggest killers of any relationship are money problems, sex problems and dis-respect

Hmm really? I disagree. I think the biggest killer of a relationship is the lack of communication and compromise. But that's just me.

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RE: Why are people confused about 24/7 TPE??? - 12/7/2006 7:38:50 AM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

I think he's coming down from a bad 24/7 tpe relationship where they forgot to discuss his work.

"Hi, honey... how was your day? Yeah, yeah... that's nice, really. Now tie me up and beat my ass... oh, yeah, um... please?" *taps foot impatiently*

Oh my, I just snarfled my lil' cup of Nyquil. Does it still work if you suck it up your nose? Bleck!
LOL!

Yes it does, and your nose will be asleep in twenty minutes.

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RE: Why are people confused about 24/7 TPE??? - 12/7/2006 7:56:42 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
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quote:

The biggest killers of any relationship are money problems, sex problems and dis-respect

You forgot a big one. For people who have unmentionables, disagreements regarding discipline/punishment can create huge problems.

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RE: Why are people confused about 24/7 TPE??? - 12/7/2006 10:20:35 PM

MasterNdorei

Posts: 658
Joined: 10/8/2005
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Celeste,
You hit the nail on the head for me. The One who owns me is the one i want to talk with the most, and that is a huge advantage over people who do not have that kind of connection.

Master's dorei

(in reply to KatyLied)

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RE: Why are people confused about 24/7 TPE??? - 12/8/2006 6:18:31 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble

::snipped for brevity::

quote:

It takes effort to keep communication open and honest.

I'm not sure what, if anything, the entire post had to do with the actual title of the thread, but I did want to address a comment to this quote. For people who fit together, who are right together, who take the time to get to know one another and who actually 'like' each other, communication is not an effort. I'd rather speak with Himself than anyone else and he with me. I so often see people talk about how relationships are such hard work and I just don't understand why that's so.

The best relationships I've ever seen, those which are life-long and lasting appear effortless and I know that's true in my case.

I would question 'why' your having to work so hard at a relationship. How come it's not flowing and naturally easy to communicate what you love, dream, hope for and then work together to make that happen? Could it be because you're with the wrong person or settling for less than you desire?

There are, of course, always going to be bumps in the road, but if they aren't very widely spaced, (few and far between) and easy to get over, I'm afraid I don't understand all this 'work' that people are doing to maintain something which is.. well, just not working on it's own.

Maybe someone can 'splain it to me.

Celeste

I think it can be "work" in the sense that it isn't some fantasy where things are 100% perfect and smoothly running all the time.

This isn't Ds or BDSM but let me use my early relationship with my husband: About three months into our dating he was very late for a dinner date (he was slowly starting to should his innate lateness) and I got angry. He started to cry and said "You're breaking up with me." We talked and I discovered that he thought that relationships meant zero problems or conflicts ever because his parents made a concerted effort to nothing disagree with each other in front of their kids. My future husband had to get a grip on the fact that any human relationship will involve some work -- it will never be perfect because human beings aren't perfect. This was all 18 years ago.

I, personally, think it can be very easy to go with the flow and fall into assumptions that are mistaken. Over time these can built into bigger issues that are difficult to resolve.

That said, Fox and I have very very few communication problems and disagreements and I strongly believe it is because we have this agreed to hierarchical relationship with the expectation that we will communicate honestly with each other from the very start of things. There are many people out there who found relationships on unspoken assumptions and I think this can be a problem -- not a guareentee of problems but I think it can aid in problem creation.

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(in reply to BitaTruble)

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RE: Why are people confused about 24/7 TPE??? - 12/8/2006 7:42:26 AM

cloudboy

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Joined: 12/14/2005
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quote:

I'd rather speak with Himself than anyone else

I just feel so left out.........

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RE: Why are people confused about 24/7 TPE??? - 12/8/2006 9:56:10 AM

Yourangelic1

Posts: 42
Joined: 12/7/2006
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This girl is in agreement with MsKathy Ma'am and thinks that this is on the same line as the point the original poster was trying to make. Sir said that all too often people go into D/s with the impression or expectations of what the relationship will be like. When in reality life does get in the way, and maybe getting in the way is not the best term, but too often we do have ideals and expectations, and when they are not met, or fail to be as we thought, we get disappointed. Life being, bills, children, housekeeping, animals, for us it is taking care of livestock, whatever it may be, and it is a struggle.

When this girl was collared and was in a 24/7 TPE with her Mistress, we looked for another sub/slave to join us, and overwhelmingly the response was the same as MsKathy saw. How often do you play? Do you orgasm often? The whole gammet of bedroom or sexual related questions, when truly my service to my Mistress was quite often just basic domestic service, which i love! Most we talked to were turned off by this, and exactly what slaveseeker was getting at this girl believes. That the "glamour" of play, and cuffs and 24/7 BDSM is not always the extravagant scenes or play, its the little things, that make it work.

The everyday undertones of D/s always being there, whether in front of children or in vanilla situations, its always knowing ones place, that the glance from a Dominant can still send the same shivers of subspace as a complicated scene. That knowing the simple tone of voice can change a behavior.. that the simple gesture of seeing the sparkle in ones Dominant's eye is enough to charge you for the rest of the day.

There is a place and time for scenes and basic D/s elements, maybe its just realizing that when life throws all of its curve balls, that sometimes we cannot be as spontaneous as we may like.

i hope i at least made some sense here, i know what i was trying to say.. but hmmm i sometimes get rambling.

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RE: Why are people confused about 24/7 TPE??? - 12/8/2006 4:36:37 PM

sabswife

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i suppose i too am guilty of failing to see the point of this post.

many of the things discussed in it, to me, are mandatory in ANY relationship, be it 'nilla or TPE.

there are failed relationships based on lack of communication, wrongful expectations, lack of maturity, incompatibility, just to name a few reasons, it has nothing to do with the type of relationship, yet the relationship itself and the people involved.

to the average person Sab and i look like an average 'nilla couple unless you know what you are looking for, yes we are TPE but we are a married couple too, a partnership in which communication and honesty is key. this would be fundamental no matter the type of relationship we chose.

i don't get the part about bdsm being even harder, after a 10 year 'nilla marriage that ended in divorce -- i fail to see your point there, i don't think it has a thing to do with the type of sex, that yet again is simply communication and/or improper expectations. A sub that stays home all day is automatically stress free? it sounds like the other side of the coin is forgetting a few things there as well...

i'm rambling now but i guess im trying to work out what i am thinking while i type...

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Post #: 48