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RE: appreciation in lifestyle - 12/12/2006 8:18:14 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: babyblues
p.s. you will NEVER find me online when He is at home.....

Does that make you more subbly? I'm often online when my dominant is at home. We are both avid geeks and we sit side by side at our computers playing various mutli-player online games (we shoot stormtroopers together in Galaxies, it's so much fun!), various RPGs and basically getting our geek fix. When he wants me off the computer, I get off the computer and do what needs doing.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

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Post #: 41

RE: appreciation in lifestyle - 12/12/2006 8:23:23 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
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using fast reply......

Some people do such a good job of making fools of themselves don't they?!?

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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Post #: 42

RE: appreciation in lifestyle - 12/12/2006 8:25:28 AM

drawntothedark

Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FrankAr

Now not being to indulgant, I can actually give a better advice with this extra information about the scanario, would you not think so.
Master Frank Ar.

She was not looking for advice. All she was asking is "Do you think D/s couples say thank you more than vanilla couples."

Patina......everyone else understood what you meant.

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Post #: 43

RE: appreciation in lifestyle - 12/12/2006 8:43:12 AM

MistressCopia

Posts: 3
Joined: 10/11/2006
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I suspect I'm going to do something that is unusual to some of the posters here - answer the original question without comment on the extraneous details such as time zones or crockpot usage....

No, patina, I don't think that lifestyle partners have cornered the market on appreciation for actions big and small. I think that because of the necessity of acquiring the communication skills to make a great D/s partnership thrive, we Dominants who choose to compliment our submissives may simply be more inclined to express that appreciation in a way we know will motivate our individual submissives. And submissives who respond to that appreciation have most likely been open and vulnerable enough in their discussions with their Dominants to express a need for that reinforcement. The happiness that comes from having your efforts noticed and appreciated is not merely from the compliment itself - it's amplified by the person giving the compliment. ( Obviously, some dynamics do not wish for these exchanges to take place and the subject is mute for them. There are those who respond to the Dominance inherent in an expectation of service without acknowledgement and are far happier in those types of relationships. The communication skills to find a partner in your relationship that responds to the same things you do are the same one I mention above.)
As others have alluded, this is also simply a smart management technique - positive reinforcement of the behaviors you want to see repeated keeps your household running in a way you prefer, it clearly defines for your submissive the parameters of behaviors you enjoy (and gives them a way to continue to meet your expectations and please you) and it keeps the miscommunication to a minimum.

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Post #: 44

RE: appreciation in lifestyle - 12/12/2006 1:14:30 PM

darksdesire

Posts: 326
Joined: 10/18/2006
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When I think about it, I respond so well to his appreciation and praise because it lets me know that my efforts to please him are successful. It isn't the praise or the appreciation that matters exactly. What matters is knowing that what i've done is actually serving him in some way. The pleasure of pleasing him is enough, but i do need to know what it is that pleases so that I can continue to do it.

My Master would likely say that his praise and appreciation isn't necessarily motivated out of a desire to reinforce my behavior (although there is that), but primarily out of a genuine expression of appreciation. I find that remarkable and touching.

This relationship has demonstrated to me that two people can fall into these positive cycles of energy exchange, in which their interactions with each other feed and nurture the relationship and one another. Often times, the cycle seems to have a life of its own in it's effortlessness. I've never experienced this other than now, in my one and only D/s relationship, so I tend to think D/s is special in this way. However, it might not be D/s per se, but any number of factors that go into such a dynamic. I don't know. I don't know. But it works, and it's great.

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Post #: 45

RE: appreciation in lifestyle - 12/12/2006 3:02:24 PM

liljoy

Posts: 577
Joined: 3/25/2004
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Not in my experience thus far. It was expected and so no more appreciated than the sunrise or sunset. i acctually think they were more appreciated

quote:

ORIGINAL: patina
I remarked to her that it seems that Masters and Mistresses are more willing to thank and appreciate a sub/slave effort in the cooking and/or cleaning areas than a man does in a vanilla household.

Are there any feelings toward this observation or am I off base, is there little difference between them. Or does the lifestyle seem to have more appreciation among its partners. Any comments on this or have I totally confused everyone.

Patina

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Post #: 46