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Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 9:10:27 AM   
iwillspku


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		I have a question: I am 45 years old....when I answer an ad, how young can I go without being seen an old pervert? Sometimes I see someone younger that interests me, but, I don't answer the ad because I don't want to seem like an old lech. Can anyone offer me advice? All opinions will be appreciated.
   Thank you
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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 9:15:51 AM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		The first question to ask is: How much do you care what others think?

The second question to ask is: What is legal consent age for these sorts of activities where I live?

Between those you can come up with the appropriate answer.

You have a bonus though if you are interested in a younger woman, that is still more socially acceptable than older woman-younger man or same sex age differences I think.

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 9:20:09 AM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I got e-mails from men from 10 years younger to 25 years older. It never hurts to try. What you say will be what lables you an old pervert or lech. You never know, maybe the gilr really goes for older men?

The first Dom i was with was 13 years my senior. Not really a big deal as long as you can connect on more then a sexual level.

I'd say contact anyone you find interesting. The worst they can do is tell you to go away.

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 9:22:04 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		As long as they are legal i dont see a problem.
They can always say no
I'm nearly 20 years younger than my God and i see no problem with it what so ever.

< Message edited by missturbation -- 12/15/2006 9:24:28 AM >

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 9:38:59 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I'd say any younger than 37 would be seen as possibly going for the younger piece of ass, but really about 25 is where the overall limit is. 

But who cares?  You're the only one limiting yourself here.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 9:45:02 AM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline 		Some years back, I was in a brief relationship with a Domme who was 19 years my junior. I recall feeling a bit apprehensive about approaching her, just as you appear to be feeling now.

After I got to know her a little better, I once asked her "Why me, and not someone more your age?"

She simply responded "I thought I'd take a break from dealing with young, dumb, and full of cum."

So, unless the woman has stated age parameters in her profile, you'll never know what she has on her mind regarding age unless you get to know her a little better. 

And there's only one way to do that...

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 10:08:31 AM   
drawntothedark


Posts: 572
Joined: 10/19/2006
From: Arkansas
Status: offline 		I generally go for older men. I'm 29. Of course, it's your approach that will make or break you.

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 10:29:17 AM   
subfever


Posts: 2895
Joined: 5/22/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: drawntothedark

I generally go for older men. I'm 29. Of course, it's your approach that will make or break you.


There now... I'm sure older men with more aggressive mindsets will see that as an invitation ...

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 10:31:57 AM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		My rule of thumb is:  no more than 5 years either way

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 11:00:00 AM   
pinkkeith


Posts: 605
Joined: 11/26/2006
From: Illinois
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

My rule of thumb is:  no more than 5 years either way


I generally limit myself to eight to ten years. I just find it is easier to develop a romantic/emotional connection with someone who is in my own generation easier.

(in reply to LotusSong)
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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 11:05:04 AM   
Daddysgirljenna


Posts: 17
Joined: 10/3/2006
Status: offline 		i personally prefer older men myself.  my Daddy is 9 years older than me

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 11:28:42 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

Sometimes I see someone younger that interests me, but, I don't answer the ad because I don't want to seem like an old lech.
 
Emphasis on "sometimes" added by me. I think the real question is do you mean sometimes or all the time. If it is sometimes then I would guess that there was something that caught your eye about the profile other than the submissive's youth, if it is all the time then this is a preference of yours for whatever reason. If it is a preference then in my opinion you should acknowledge that and own it as a part of who you are, and who cares what others think. If it is a "sometimes" kinda deal, then I would let whomever you're interested in know what drew you to their profile even though there is a huge age difference.

More and more people are not caring about societies conventions when it comes to whom they develop attachments to, and I believe this is a good thing. If you are worried that someone that you contact may think of you as a "letch" because of the age difference, well that is their preference not to be with someone so much older, but they may desire to have an older more experienced man in their life too.

I suppose in my mind, if a man that was significantly older than me showed interest in what I wrote, my mind, who I was as a person I would not think them a letch for contacting me. If they did not show interest in me as a human being I would think their desire was for a young fresh piece of meat, and this would be a turnoff pointing to a letch... whether young or old.

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 11:42:57 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I am one of those that prefers older men and women. Master is 55 and I am 33, works for us. Alot of people put on their profiles if they absolutley do not like older men or women. Just be polite and cordial when sending them an email and go from there. Good luck.

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 11:44:39 AM   
CRUELLASADISTIC


Posts: 4
Joined: 6/12/2005
Status: offline 		IM 52 HES 24
I GUESS IM A LETCH HAHAHAHAH
WHO CARES IF IT WORKS?

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 11:46:44 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Age is not something I consider overmuch. Maturity and joy in living is more important. There is a combination of youthful enthusiasm, intelligence and maturity that can just reach out and grab me. At that point I don't care if they are 25 or 65.

_____________________________

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 12:01:27 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline 		Almost regardless of your age, someone will see you as an "old pervert."  There's nothing you can do about that.  Many people consider anyone older than they something left over from the vanished ages of the past.

I don't know if it's new, but there does seem to be a growing prejudice against older people.  It may be that I didn't notice it so much when I joined the public scene, but it does seem that these days more and more groups are putting an upper level on their membership.

And they can be so innocent seeming about it.  Not long ago, I was invited to speak to a group on the East Coast.  Before agreeing, I checked them out and found that they restricted membership to those between 21 and 35 years of age.  When I brought this up, they responded, "Oh don't worry.  We'll let you speak."

Then they were offended because I pointed out "letting me speak" was the equivalent of the KKK inviting Sammy Davis Junior to entertain at one of their cross burnings.  If they are prejudiced, the least they can do is be consistent in their prejudice and not waive their bias because someone has written a few books while slamming the door in the face of other blac.... oh I meant old people. 

People chose to be biased and generally it's their loss.  Occasionally, I'll read something in a profile and dash off a note of advice or a suggestion.  Occasionally, the email goes unread, probably filtered because of age or other criteria.  I don't get upset.  Someone has chosen to deprive themselves of some information that may have helped them.

In short, don't worry about being an "old pervert."  Some will see you that way regardless of your age, both others will welcome a chance to learn from someone older than they are.  In the first case, only the bigot loses, and in the second, both of you win.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 12:08:17 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		as an additional thought:

old perverts never die, they just fuck their lives away............

Methuselah 

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 12:12:12 PM   
kyra


Posts: 30
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		i say their opinion is irrelevant, Sir. it shouldn't stop you from contacting anyone. if they have a problem with it, they're not someone you should bother with, anyway. they should like you for you. a missed opportunity could be tragic

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 12:25:33 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren
Not long ago, I was invited to speak to a group on the East Coast.  Before agreeing, I checked them out and found that they restricted membership to those between 21 and 35 years of age.  When I brought this up, they responded, "Oh don't worry.  We'll let you speak."

Then they were offended because I pointed out "letting me speak" was the equivalent of the KKK inviting Sammy Davis Junior to entertain at one of their cross burnings.  If they are prejudiced, the least they can do is be consistent in their prejudice and not waive their bias because someone has written a few books while slamming the door in the face of other blac.... oh I meant old people. 

Hmm well I know the BESS abd BR TNG groups have an upper age limit on at least some of their events- their purpose is to foster a group where younger people can be comfortable and supported and NOT looked down on for being "younger."  This is a very real problem in at least some areas in which younger people are made to feel less "real." 

I fully support groups in the scene that limit themselves to a special interest or special aspect and still invite others.

Black Beat supports minorities/non-whites in the scene, but they encourage white people to attend and present at their events as well.

I don't think it's about prejudice in those examples.

There is a problem with age gaps in the community as a whole and I am afraid it's likely only going to get worse.  But I think the fact that they DID invite you and DID want you to speak is a GOOD sign and a great opportunity to bridge the gap.


< Message edited by LuckyAlbatross -- 12/15/2006 12:27:09 PM >

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

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RE: Question: How old??? - 12/15/2006 12:29:52 PM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:


Then they were offended because I pointed out "letting me speak" was the equivalent of the KKK inviting Sammy Davis Junior to entertain at one of their cross burnings.  If they are prejudiced, the least they can do is be consistent in their prejudice and not waive their bias because someone has written a few books while slamming the door in the face of other blac.... oh I meant old people.


But good god does everything need to be compared to black people or the holocaust?  I don't think being invited to a TNG group is remotely the equivalent, if anything it says volumes about what the group thought of you to bend their rule and invite you (the TNG groups I've seen generally restrict their workshops to people within the membership age range).

C~

Edited to quote for clarity sake.


< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 12/15/2006 12:31:46 PM >

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