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Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you?


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[Poll]

Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you?


Bdsm activity is usually better for me than sexual intercourse
  44% (28)
Sexual intercourse is usually better for me than bdsm activity
  11% (7)
Bdsm activity and sexual intercourse rate about equal to me
  44% (28)


Total Votes : 63
(last vote on : 12/9/2009 6:02:32 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 4:17:14 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Is bdsm activity as satisfying as having sex with someone for you, usually? Or not? Is one better than the other for you - in general?

I realize it depends on one's partner, as well as the bdsm activity in question (whether it's a favorite of yours, perhaps, etc.) - so I mean in general.

Any guess as far as why (whatever choice you chose) is generally true for you? Please feel free to comment on this (if you have any ideas here).

For me, they are about equal, I think. I have no idea why, except maybe they affect the same "pleasure centers" in my brain equally, or something like that?

I realize these two activities can take place together, but right now, I am interested in how people rate them separately as activities.

Just wondering what others think...

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/16/2006 5:10:39 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 5:44:44 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Actually, as a far as poll questions go, I think this one is more interesting than the "kitten or vixen" question I posted. Howcome nobody is answering it, I wonder?

Even just comments woud be great.

Thanks (in advance). My aren't I the pushy one...

- Susan 

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 6:19:22 AM   
agorwarrior


Posts: 20
Joined: 7/11/2004
Status: offline 		Since in private, for me they always include each other.  I can't answer your poll, but I wish you luck with it.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 6:25:11 AM   
Midearthtrainer


Posts: 67
Joined: 10/10/2004
Status: offline 		If I am trying to expand your limits, or just trying to have a fun time for me, then there is a certain amount of sex involved. Whether I stop on your first, third, or Nth orgasm is MY choice. How well you and I interact, your body's responses and the scene in general will determine, if and when you are allowed to orgasm. A carthartic and a directed scene are two different things.
If you get wet from the sight or smell of a particular flogger/whip or other impliment is there not sex involved?

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 6:33:37 AM   
Serenityy


Posts: 97
Status: offline 		I did not answer the poll directly simply because the answers offered do not apply to every relationship. With some, sex is not required of the relationship; with others, it is a huge factor.
 
It all depends on what is decided beforehand and how the dynamics play out.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 6:44:10 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		agorwarrior: I appreciate your comment, and I understand your situation.

sidenote: What I'd really like to do is separate the Dominant male, from the submissive/slave female repsonses (but it's too late, and too complicated to do in one poll just now).

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to agorwarrior)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 6:47:49 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		SerenityY: I am asking about Your relationship. Perhaps you thought I was asking about something else?

I can agree (to some extent) with your comments, and I do appreciate your general feeling regarding them, but - 

There really isn't a way to include every single nuance of "most relationships" within a single poll (actually, it could be refined, but even then there is a margin of error. I know this because - I did this for a living for years, and got paid quite nicely for it, too).

Which is why I asked, specifically, for comments about the question as it related to the answeree's situation personally - if people choose (or even if they don't) to answer the actual poll - 

To give people a chance to comment on the specifics of their relationship re: This question (if they choose to do that, without answering the poll question).

In any case, it's just a general question about the opinion re: This question of the person answering only.

- Susan 

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/16/2006 6:59:04 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Serenityy)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 6:54:50 AM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		For me, I can have sex and not have any bdsm involved...strictly vanilla.
But if I'm involving bdsm, then sex is always involved.  BDSM is sexual for me.
I've had great vanilla sex and great bdsm sex, so I guess I'd have to say they are equal.

Edited to add...hope that made some sense and to also say that I would have preferred other choices because I feel that what I would have picked is that bdsm sex is better than vanilla sex for me.  That wasn't represented.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 12/16/2006 6:58:18 AM >

(in reply to SusanofO)
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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 6:54:54 AM   
amlonging


Posts: 153
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		 I wish I could wrap my mind around your question Susan, I think I do understand what you ask... but like another, the question doesnt match a response I would give.
The control and my obedience is more satisfiying than the sex.  Altho I do beg to be used for His pleasure many times.

_____________________________

BEHIND EVERY GREAT WOMAN...
...is a butt she can learn to love.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 6:56:02 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Thanks for the replies, people.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/16/2006 6:57:51 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 6:56:51 AM   
RedSavageSlave


Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: amlonging

The control and my obedience is more satisfiying than the sex.  Altho I do beg to be used for His pleasure many times.


yeah!..what she said~

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to amlonging)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 6:58:55 AM   
Serenityy


Posts: 97
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

SerenityY: I am asking about Your relationship. Perhaps you thought I was asking about something else?

I can agree (to some extent) with your comments, and I do appreciate your general feeling regarding them, but - 

There really isn't a way to include every single nuance of "most relationships" within a single poll (actually, it could be refined, but even then there is a margin of error. I know this because - I did this for a living for years, and got paid quite nicely for it, too).

Which is why I asked, specifically, for comments about the question as it related to their situation personally - if people chose (or even if they didn't) to answer the actual poll. 

To give people a chance to comment on the specifics of their relationship re: This question (if they choose to do that, without answering the poll question).

In any case, it's just a general question about the opinion re: This question of the person answering only.

- Susan 

I understood the original question; and I answered from a perspective of ONLY myself and how it would apply to my own relationships. My answer remains the same.

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 6:59:36 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Aileen68: Your comment relates to the crux of the whole poll question. I do appreciate your comment, btw - and thanks for answering.

Vanilla sex - without bdsm is 'just vanilla sex'. I am not sure what "bdsm sex" would be? Bdsm activity (with sexual intercourse). So - if I ask that question (and  do I understand what youre saying) but - it would negate the reason for the poll.

I do understand people think they are "inter-liked" (for many they are probably always linked). Most people I know inter-mix the two. But, some don't. And even if they do - I don't think they're the same thing (which is the reason for the question).  

In order to answer the question, people have to think about whether or not they like bdsm or sex equally (which I think is doable, even if they "do both" (at the same time, usually)- but do agree that it might be harder to separate the two in their minds).

I truly appeciate the comment - just trying to explain the question better (because it might be a little "fuzzy" what it is. Thanks for answering. It's a good question.

I need to refine the poll question (just did).

-Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/16/2006 7:29:10 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 7:02:34 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

For me, I can have sex and not have any bdsm involved...strictly vanilla.
But if I'm involving bdsm, then sex is always involved. BDSM is sexual for me.
I've had great vanilla sex and great bdsm sex, so I guess I'd have to say they are equal.


That sums up my experience and desires.

I don't grok those who claim BDSM is non-sexual, and don't quite believe it.

(in reply to Aileen68)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 7:05:47 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Serenityy: Okay. Appreciate the response and comments. If a person isn't currently in a relationship, this question might be bit more complicated (I hadn't thought of that). But - they can answer based on past experience (if they have that. Or even fantasies, I guess, if not). I mention this only because it might come up for someone else (so thank you for mentioning it).

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/16/2006 7:29:58 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Serenityy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 7:06:01 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline 		Hmm. Come to think of it, sex with Paris Hilton would be non-sexual and BDSM.

(If you have to think about this, you ARE Paris Hilton.)

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 7:08:43 AM   
Kalira


Posts: 954
Joined: 10/9/2006
From: Fort Wayne Indiana
Status: offline 		Speaking only for myself, the service that I give to Master is just as satisfying, if not more so, than the sexual service that I may provide. On the other side though, Master is highly sexual, so sex is always a part of our relationship.

_____________________________

Facilius Per Partes In Cognitionem Totius Adducimur
We are more easily led part by part to an understanding of the whole.
Seneca

Damnant Quod Non Intellegunt

(in reply to SusanofO)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 7:09:21 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		Petruchio: I agree bdsm has a definite sexual flavor. I understand when people make that comment they are "inextricably linked". I appreciate your reply (thanks).

To clarify (for anyone who wonders) - I am talking: Do people like sexual intercourse (_ucking, no ndsm), or bdsm activity (sans _ucking) better -

- in terms of how it makes them feel emotionally and-or physically? If they feel differently about these two - why do they think that might be? Or do they rate them equally?

- Susan  

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/16/2006 7:40:21 AM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 7:14:58 AM   
SusanofO


Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline 		amlonging: The I'd put you in the "bdsm is more satisfying than sex" camp (if it doesn't matter to you which it is,as long as it's service to your Master. Just my opinion). Thanks for the reply.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to amlonging)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 7:22:05 AM   
gypsygrl


Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline 		I guess, my immediate reaction is that they're two different things, and I don't compare them.  Its like apples and oranges in my mind.  Sometimes I crave an apple, and in that moment, an orange wont do and is unsatisfying, and sometimes it works the other way where only an orange will do the trick.  But, this doesnt mean that one is better than the other.

Furthermore, I'm not all that into any vanilla sex. Even if I'm with someone who's vanilla, I can only get into it if I can think kinky thoughts while we're having sex. So, I'm really talking about sexually oriented bd/sm or kinky sex and, non-sexual bd/sm stuff.  bd/sm is the constant.  I can do it with or without sex and am usually satisfied though in different ways.

I'm afraid I cant really address your question.  Its kind of blowing my mind.  :)

< Message edited by gypsygrl -- 12/16/2006 7:24:05 AM >

(in reply to SusanofO)
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