RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you?

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[Poll]

Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you?

Bdsm activity is usually better for me than sexual intercourse

44% (28)

Sexual intercourse is usually better for me than bdsm activity

11% (7)

Bdsm activity and sexual intercourse rate about equal to me

44% (28)

Total Votes : 63

(last vote on : 12/9/2009 6:02:32 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 8:37:15 AM

SusanofO

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Thanks for the reply. I appreciate all of the responses.

- Susan

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 8:40:21 AM

JohnWarren

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I'd have a hard time rating them "separately" because for me BDSM is "sex."

If people are talking about Clintonian sex, then that's something I only have with Libby, but we tend to take the Janet Hardy view that anything that gives erections, wetness or orgasms IS sex.

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 8:42:30 AM

FelinePersuasion

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bdsm is a thoughsand times more satifying than sex to me hands down.

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 8:45:13 AM

SusanofO

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BlkTallfulfig: You just precisely answered the question. Thank you!!!

That seems to be the issue for many - they never (or rarely) separate the two in practice. I understand that (neither do I). But I am asking if there is one people like better than the other anyway. You answered that. Thank you!!

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/16/2006 8:47:38 AM >

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 8:51:21 AM

sublizzie

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I've never had a BDSM experience that included sex. I don't know what sex would be like in that context. While I'm more sensually aware and open after a BDSM experience, I'm not sure that it's truly sexual energy that's been heightened or if it's all sensuality that's been heightened by the experience.

It's an interesting question. I'll be interested in reading the answers.

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 8:51:52 AM

SusanofO

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JohnWarren: I understand (that seems to be the issue in answering the question for most here. Bdsm is a "prelude" to _ucking. I am referring to actual sexual intercouse (not oral sex). But, my question is this:

All that aside (and I do undertand what you're saying) - If you absolutely had to separate plain old _ucking (no bdsm included - at all) and bdsm activity (with absolutely no actual sexial intercourse _ucking included) - which would you choose as liking better? Or would you rate them equally?

Thanks for commenting, btw.

I appreciate everyone's responses, btw (even if it sounded like I got a little _itchy awhile back there. Sorry.)

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/16/2006 9:02:15 AM >

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 8:57:41 AM

KnightofMists

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Comparing Sex and BDSM is comparing apples and oranges.

Both give me pleasure and gratification... but it is different and unique. I don't way one as more pleasurable than one and I don't consider them as equal either. When I want one... the other is going to be less pleasurable. It really comes down to what I want at the time. I find that want them both equally. A balance diet keeps things pleasurable *G*

editted to add... I find that mixing the two is really pleasurable *EG*

< Message edited by KnightofMists -- 12/16/2006 9:00:16 AM >

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 9:00:13 AM

ownedgirlie

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Without reading the replies yet, I said they are equal, because BDSM and sex are stand alone activities that are empty by themselves (for me). What is most important to me is the connection between my Master and I, however that is achieved.

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 9:04:54 AM

SusanofO

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They do seem very different to me as well, when considered separately. Which is sort of why I am wondering why they both make me hot in alsmot the same way, often-times, even though during bdsm I (sometimes) may not have actual sexual intercourse (there is undoubtedly research on this somewhere on the internet, or maybe someone here knows. I think they probably activate the same areas of the brain in me - and probably lots of other folks as well)?

Thanks much for answering the question, and the comments, KOM.

ownedgirlie: Thanks for answering the question, and the comments.

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/16/2006 9:06:43 AM >

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 9:07:14 AM

Aileen68

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

Aileen: Okay. Bdsm always involves actual _ucking for you? Always?
Because that's the "delineation point" that can help people answer the question. If it does then, you're right - maybe you can't answer the question.

- Susan

Yup. It always involves fucking.

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 9:09:45 AM

KnightofMists

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

Yup. It always involves fucking.

I gotta meet this girl *EG*

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 9:11:03 AM

SusanofO

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Aileen68: Okay. I understand that. I thought (on second reading) that you understood the question too (just wanted to make sure). I felt I needed to clarify it (not to you, specifically, really - but because so many other folks were saying the two are inter-linked, also. Which they are. But in your caswe, they always are (which was my question).

Not meaning to sound insulting (if I did). I hope I did not. Hugs!

Thanks for your reply.

- Susan

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 9:41:48 AM

texancutie

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Sure they can be inter-linked. But separating them and putting them into perspective, I can say that no matter if we have sex or we just are centered on BDSM activities without sex, I am still deeply connected to him. BDSM itself is a deeply intimate activity. Being flogged, strapped, aroused to the point of being over stimulated to where my endorphins are flying all over the place does not always involve full on _ucking or even oral contact. But I am still stimulated and aroused none the less from the activities we are involved in and I respond to what he is doing. Now when he is pushing my limits to some painful areas, he does stimulate me directly at times. But that is just so he can increase the stimulation he is wanting me to be able to handle well. Increasing pain tolerance is a process. But I have found that sends me places when I ride that wave from pain into pleasure, and I take him with me when I go. I do it for him, and have been surprised that he does not forget about me when I do.

So, that being said...I have to say that I find BDSM activity better than plain ole sexual intercourse. Though I do love sex. Now if you throw serving into that mix, you can come up with another twist, but I don't think that would be the intent of this poll.

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 11:38:01 AM

JohnWarren

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO
All that aside (and I do undertand what you're saying) - If you absolutely had to separate plain old _ucking (no bdsm included - at all) and bdsm activity (with absolutely no actual sexial intercourse _ucking included) - which would you choose as liking better? Or would you rate them equally?

I think that would largely depend on whom I was with at the time. It's more of a "who" situation, rather than a "what" situation with me

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/16/2006 12:04:54 PM

hejira92

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quote:

ORIGINAL: texancutie

Sure they can be inter-linked. But separating them and putting them into perspective, I can say that no matter if we have sex or we just are centered on BDSM activities without sex, I am still deeply connected to him. BDSM itself is a deeply intimate activity. Being flogged, strapped, aroused to the point of being over stimulated to where my endorphins are flying all over the place does not always involve full on _ucking or even oral contact. But I am still stimulated and aroused none the less from the activities we are involved in and I respond to what he is doing. Now when he is pushing my limits to some painful areas, he does stimulate me directly at times. But that is just so he can increase the stimulation he is wanting me to be able to handle well. Increasing pain tolerance is a process. But I have found that sends me places when I ride that wave from pain into pleasure, and I take him with me when I go. I do it for him, and have been surprised that he does not forget about me when I do.

So, that being said...I have to say that I find BDSM activity better than plain ole sexual intercourse. Though I do love sex. Now if you throw serving into that mix, you can come up with another twist, but I don't think that would be the intent of this poll.

Yes, yes, yes.

Also, I find that W/we are at the point that All sex, even activities that may seem completely vanilla (if there were someone observing) are totally BDSM because of who we are, how we relate to each other and what those activites mean to us.

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/17/2006 3:08:58 PM

FelinePersuasion

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Not nessisarily, I can be so wet I am drowning the place, and it's not going to automaticaly mean sex.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Midearthtrainer

If you get wet from the sight or smell of a particular flogger/whip or other impliment is there not sex involved?

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/17/2006 4:51:32 PM

andyny

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I think I'm going to have to go with sex on this one, only because I'm still dabbling in BDSM.

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/17/2006 5:47:44 PM

FelinePersuasion

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all though I do have to agree with most that sex mixed in is delightful too, I love my dominant fucking me and tellin me I am his slut to use and abuse and slut likes it don't she.

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/17/2006 7:46:20 PM

Daddysredhead

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

For me, I can have sex and not have any bdsm involved...strictly vanilla.
But if I'm involving bdsm, then sex is always involved. BDSM is sexual for me.
I've had great vanilla sex and great bdsm sex, so I guess I'd have to say they are equal.

Edited to add...hope that made some sense and to also say that I would have preferred other choices because I feel that what I would have picked is that bdsm sex is better than vanilla sex for me. That wasn't represented.

I would say that the same goes for me. If I am having any BDSM activity at all, there will always be sex at the end of it. There is also just having sex that is comingled with Him saying or doing something that brings me back to a very submissive mindset, that makes it almost the same as having been flogged or caned, etc. beforehand... I guess we almost always have some type of bdsm sex because the chatter that goes on during the act can refer to things that made us hot when we did it previously.

(I have no idea if that made any sense at all... just chalk it up to me thinking of having sex with my Master... that's enough to make me all scatterbrained as it is.)

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RE: Is Bdsm activity as satisfying as sex for you? - 12/18/2006 9:17:59 AM

siouxie

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short answer - i prefer the bdsm 'activity' to sex.

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