Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Men and Fidelity


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Men and Fidelity Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 3:15:59 PM   
MistrssM


Posts: 45
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		This question has come out of some recent conversations I have had with some male friends and I was wondering others opinions..... is it possible for a man to be faithful....is it in their nature or even if they do try.. is it always a battle?

Another thing.. has anyone else observed that it seems that many male subs they encounter seem to lack fidelity?  A higher average then vanilla men? Perhaps many dabble outside their vanilla relationships.. or its the fantasy... or whatever...but I am curious of others opinions...and experiences...is there such a thing as a faithful man? or a faithful sub?


Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 3:19:24 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Don't see why not.  Yes men and women are different, but I don't believe that men are wired to be poly and women aren't.  I know plenty of men that are faithful and, as far as I know, have no desire for another woman.  That's not to say that they don't look...who doesn't?  But that's as far as it goes.

(in reply to MistrssM)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 3:33:16 PM   
SlaveAkasha


Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		I think a man can be faithful just as easy as a woman can.  I am not sure where people get the idea that women don't ever have the desire to step out also.  It's work to keep a relationship strong and going..from both sides.
 
I could be tempted and I am sure Master could also, it's the love and trust we have for each other that keeps us on the narrow.
 
Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to MistrssM)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 4:44:04 PM   
blmtrsne


Posts: 201
Joined: 6/29/2004
Status: offline 		My husband/slave told me that before he offered himself to me he was tempted a few times: he fell in love but knew that following this feeling would mean giving up his family, fighting over house and capital, paying for the kids and wife... To be short: he said that although he encountered a few times some lady he could relate to, that he did not want to go further.

_____________________________

-- Owner of slrn733561 --

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 4:51:13 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm with you Akasha.  Men and women aren't all that different when it comes to desires, etc.  Sure would like to know how this stuff gets started.

< Message edited by bandit25 -- 12/16/2006 4:52:42 PM >

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 4:56:38 PM   
ScienceBoy


Posts: 114
Joined: 11/21/2006
From: Bristol, UK
Status: offline 		What bizarre generalisation...

If you're wondering - females are [probably] generally more likely to be unfaithful (they stand to gain more from it, from an evolutionary biology perspective).

Speaking as a bloke, I've never been unfaithful to any partner - the idea of it is.. sickening. If I were prepared to be so, the relationship would already be over, no?

_____________________________

"When God gives you AIDS -- and God DOES, give you AIDS -- make lemonAIDS!"

(in reply to MistrssM)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 4:58:51 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		To me fidelity is a choice each of us makes.  I'm no longer convinced that it is all that natural for either sex.
I also no longer believe in the kind of love where either party is so perfectly fantastic that neither partner is ever tempted by another in some way; so fidelity becomes a matter of respecting oneself and honoring one's word not to screw around as promised.    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to MistrssM)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 5:04:26 PM   
untamedshysub


Posts: 220
Joined: 2/26/2005
Status: offline 		 a friend sent me this today:

Remarkable Obituary
 
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Mr. Common Sense.
Mr. Sense had been with us for many years.
 
No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.  He will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isn't always fair.
 
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (i.e., don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not kids, are in charge).

His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.
 
Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate;
 
Teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch;
 
A teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
 
Mr. Sense declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge financial settlement.
 
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Moral of story both sides cheat because they lack common sense

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 6:02:30 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MistrssM

This question has come out of some recent conversations I have had with some male friends and I was wondering others opinions..... is it possible for a man to be faithful....is it in their nature or even if they do try.. is it always a battle?

Another thing.. has anyone else observed that it seems that many male subs they encounter seem to lack fidelity?  A higher average then vanilla men? Perhaps many dabble outside their vanilla relationships.. or its the fantasy... or whatever...but I am curious of others opinions...and experiences...is there such a thing as a faithful man? or a faithful sub?




MistrssM,
If you really believe what you've written, I'm not certain why you're even here!  It seems totally counter-intuitive to me that a submissive male would be less faithful than a vanilla male.  More importantly, generalities are rather meaningless and it ultimately comes down to the trust that exists between individuals and the character of those involved when it comes to fidelity. 

Speaking only for myself, I can say that when I'm in love with a woman, I hardly notice other women at all.  If I do, its usually because they're making a spectacle of some kind to draw attention to themselves that was nearly impossible for anyone to have avoided at all and not because I was looking around.  I'm the kind whose fantasies are only about activities with the woman with whom I'm involved (a problem for me at the moment, since I'm not involved at all).  I could care less about the latest/hottest movie star or who is on the cover of "you name the magazine".  Its the inner beauty of a woman that I most want her to show me.  That's also what can make her the most beautiful woman in the world to me!  Until we begin to talk and she begins to show me that part of herself, she could be just another face in the crowd that until then I didn't have a reason to notice.  I could say more, but I think you get the idea that for me its what's on the inside that counts. 

So are there faithful men and faithful male subs?  You betcha!  Some of us are out here hoping to find a compatible Dominant woman who wants to find one faithful male sub she can have a lasting monogamous relationship with!  

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to MistrssM)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 6:16:05 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

It seems totally counter-intuitive to me that a submissive male would be less faithful than a vanilla male.


One would think.  However, a large percentage of "submissive men" that I speak to are married or otherwise have someone in their lives....and are actively looking for a Domme behind their wives/SO's back regardless.  While I've never tracked what kind of percentage it was, more often than not that is indeed the case.

Go figure.

I'm not particularly hung up on monogamy these days, but "fidelity" is another issue altogether.

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 12/16/2006 6:27:12 PM >

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to pixelslave)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 7:19:03 PM   
SlaveHardBoner


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		I am a male submissive who is married and I will tell you right now that I cheat on my wife. I cheat in a vanilla sex sense and in a D/s play sense with Pro Dommes. The reason I cheat is simple: she gained weight after having our 4 kids and never lost it - this is a total turn-off for me. She makes the excuse that taking care of the kids is a full time job but that is all BS. I have really gotten into being a slave and I am on this site seeking a younger, thin, hot woman to be my Mistress but she will have to be a Non-Pro; I am not going to pay to be a slave because that is too expensive. I just joined and I am pumped about getting into this lifestyle.

< Message edited by SlaveHardBoner -- 12/16/2006 7:22:45 PM >

(in reply to MistrssM)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 7:32:22 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		If you are looking here, you aren't likely to have much luck other than with pros - just so you know.  People like you sicken me ... if you don't want to be with your wife, then divorce her and spare her the continuing humiliation of you cheating on her.

On topic - yes, there are males (unlike the poster directly above me) who are not louses, who don't cheat, who are honest and faithful.  And if there are males in general who aren't slimeballs, then there are submissive males who aren't as well *points to pixel and a few others who post on the board*.

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 12/16/2006 7:35:39 PM >

(in reply to SlaveHardBoner)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 7:34:25 PM   
MsSonnetMarwood


Posts: 1898
Joined: 2/10/2005
From: Eastern Shore, Maryland
Status: offline 		You're supposed to give us a heads up at the beginning of these sort of posts so we can put our drinks down before we start laughing.

_____________________________

~Ms. Sonnet Marwood~

Deja Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull somewhere before.

(in reply to SlaveHardBoner)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 7:36:29 PM   
SlaveHardBoner


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		That is not fair or practical for me - I would lose my house, have to pay child support for fours kids, and alimony. She is lucky to have me - I provide a good home for her and I allow her spending money and once a month she is allowed to go out with her girlfriends so long as her mother is around to watch the kids. I think you are being judgemental and closed minded.

She gained the weight - I did not.
Plus I am not humiliating her because I cheat behind her back.
Now that I am considering becoming a slave this will complicate things - especially if I have to wear some type of special outfit or uniform all of the time - I will have to explain that to my wife somehow.

< Message edited by SlaveHardBoner -- 12/16/2006 7:43:14 PM >

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 7:39:01 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Good luck finding ANYONE with your profile!

(in reply to SlaveHardBoner)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 7:43:44 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		Yes, I am being judgemental.  I've been cheated on and it sucks.  I'm seeing this from her perspective.  And for the record, as someone else mentioned, women get tempted too - and I remained faithful, so you can't even say "well, you never had the opportunity to cheat so you don't know where I'm coming from." 

And just wait until she gets her head on straight and decides to get some proof of you cheating ... you'll still be out on your ass and paying support.  Be a man and do what is right - either honor your vows to your wife or divorce her.  I don't give a hot damn who gained weight, you made a commitment, and "men" like you are why posts like the topic starter get made.

*edited to add*

I will now quit highjacking the thread.  Appologies to most.

< Message edited by SweetDommes -- 12/16/2006 7:45:43 PM >

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 7:44:24 PM   
SlaveHardBoner


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		I have no idea what you are talking about - my profile is fine. Honesty is the best policy as I always say.

This is some welcome for me to this lifestyle.......Gheezzzzzz

(in reply to bandit25)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 7:46:18 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		Excuse me, but aren't those four kids yours?  Why the hell shouldn't you pay child support?  You ALLOW her to go out once a month?  How freaking generous is that?  I'm surprise you don't have dommes falling all over for the opportunity to be with you.

Please!  Grow up.

(in reply to SlaveHardBoner)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 7:47:15 PM   
SlaveHardBoner


Posts: 6
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		From my perspective any woman who gets cheated on got cheated on for a reason.

You did something wrong to cause him to do that. Your objective in a relationship, whether you are a Domme or not, should be to keep your man happy...........

(in reply to SweetDommes)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Men and Fidelity - 12/16/2006 7:48:36 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I get it...this has GOT to be someone's idea of a joke.  I should say that you have got to be someone's idea of a joke. 

(in reply to SlaveHardBoner)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Men and Fidelity Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094