RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (Full Version)

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theRose4U -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/18/2006 4:30:26 PM)

quote:

Master Archer has a pair of knee high dressage boots that often require 5 minutes of this routine for each boot..


Having owned more than one pair of these I highly recommend a custom placed set of gussets. Not only do they allow the boots to go on and off easier but they also create a nicer silhouette of the leg.

This weekend I also saw a newer product called zocks. They are a spandex riding sock that make the on and off easier as well as letting your feet breathe.
http://www.marystack.com/store.asp?prod_idno=51011&cat_idno=17141

The fabrics are a little more out there...ok so cartoon ponies in christmas hats are flat un-domly HA But you can find something that would be appropriate. These are apparently the horse set's "it thing" for the holidays so they are all over.



Sirandlittle1 -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/18/2006 4:47:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

 You *find yourself dressed up to please him*?

Do you mean you do it because he asked you to, told you to, or that it was a voluntary thing, because you wanted to please him?

What is this *returning the compliment* thing you speak of?.....lol

I really couldn't give two hoots what my Master wears.......I certainly notice if he's looking especially sharp but to me, he looks bloody great in anything or without anything.

 
Yes, i willing dress up, without his asking to please him. Like doing off my own bat. And having asked directly if this does please him, it does.
 
What i meant by returning the complement.
I think any relationship will fail and die, if you dont nurture it. Invest time and energy into continued growth of that relationship. A tribute to how highly i value continueing my relationship, is the amount of effort i put in. It is a complementry statement of how high i hold my relationship with that person, in esteem. A compliment. For the other person in a relationship with me, i expect more or less equal effort in return. We all have had the friend that constantly runs late, or doesnt show. It tires me after a while.
With my Dom, who i hold in very high regard, i happily make 'an effort for him'. Just kinda thought it'd be good, if he returned the compliment.
 
i do care what my Sir looks like.
For the purposes of this thread, in particular, why dont Dom's dress up for their subs and utilise that element of her motivators?
Although im not living a bedroom only life, my level of submission, is hard wired to my libido. Not something im proud of, just is. I qued up in the blokes line by accident, mine's male. I want visual stimulation.
 
littleone
agirl






Stunning -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/18/2006 4:50:35 PM)

I have enough class and style that I am always impressive in my choice of clothes. Of course, that has everything to do with what I do and what I've done. I took it to heart when Messers Gibbons, Hill and Beard said, "Every girl crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man."



Sirandlittle1 -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/18/2006 5:01:22 PM)

Thanks for the discussion. Its been amusing and enlightening. Im glad i posted.
Nosarthro: has it sussed. So, 'at ease', which of course, would be, so attractive. Lucky sub there.

EmbersMaster: You're right, very ltd choice and quality for fetish clothes full stop, and worse for men. But the price is always the bdsm$.

LA: the 'ooh, ahh' slow method is of course in place as a back up.

LadyHugs: I have to show him this thread, just so's he can read your response. To me, it presents logic supporting my request[;)], and in such a palatable way. I have certainly noticed a gender difference with this issue. Domme's having seemingly less resistance to 'dressing up' to create or accentuate a mood.

MrKite: My Sir has excellence dress sense. The type of Dominant, that sat around in jogging pants and vest, would not be sat in my home. Each to their own though. I talking more of fetish wear. OR dress up clothes for role play.

ExtreemOwner: a magnificent response, and one id of expected from your name. Your dynamic is lovely to see. Learning of others lifestyles, and how it plays out for them, is something i enjoy on collarme. Thankyou.

In summary, the answer would seem to be,
Because they cant be arsed and dont have to.
But what would happen if you dressed up one day, and it kinda vamped your play session up a notch or two, would you do it again?

littleone[:D]



Diamonion -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/18/2006 5:33:33 PM)

Perhaps.  My sub knew what she was getting into when she met me, though, by way of clothing.  I wear what's comfortable, and most of my clothing is torn, burned, or has paint on it, as virtually everything I own doubles as work-clothes.  My idea of dressed up is a pair of good jeans, my mostly clean work boots, as opposed to the other ones, and a shirt without stains on it.  Some of us just don't fit in paticularly well with the whole 'dressing up' thing.



mnottertail -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/18/2006 5:54:38 PM)

Yanno.......I think it is a timing thing with the way you women handle it, rather than say:

GAWWWWWWWWWDDDD, I wish you would change your underwear more often than once a month, that would be so hawt!!!!....
you might not say anything; then when the day comes he fucks up and changes it twice in a month, you crawl all over him like a small dog----at some point he will say 'What up?'  Then you say, og GAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWDDD, you changed your underwear more than once this month and that is so hawt!!!!!

Men aren't dummies, they can catch on to that type of thing.

Hope this helps,
Ron



Sirandlittle1 -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/18/2006 5:59:26 PM)

mnottertail,
yes, operant conditioning works on Dom's too. I get that.
That's the back up plan[;)]
littleone



LadyHugs -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/18/2006 6:23:47 PM)

Dear diamonddreamlove, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
As an equestrian, to which some cuts of boots differ from others, the biggest issue is getting the dressage/hunting boot off, as feet swell and the ankle swells even more.
 
I've had success wearing knee-highs over my sock before putting it into the boot.  There are also silk socks meant for cold weather that ease the efforts removing the boot.

Sold these days are long shoe/boot horns.  They're approximately 24 inches in length.  You may wish to get 4, then slide them down the shin, the back of the calf, both sides of the calf and then pull.  I also highly recommend wearing leather gloves when pulling the boot, as leather on leather will aid in your hand grip.  Although these long shoe horns didn't exist in my competition days, I had fashioned a similar device to where the end of the horn would touch the heel and it could slide on a track up beyond the ankle position and once that is achieved it slides off nicely.

Pulling the boot on without boot pulls, I have used rawhide boot lacings, thread into the pull tabs and pull on.  One can also use a pair of shoe strings, purse chains, rope and even wire hangers or English spur straps but, they aren't all that strong and why I always carried a spare set for my spurs.

Some breeches have the 'give' to pull a bit over the knee, thus removing a lot of the bulk between the boot and the wearer's calf.  The boot is easier to remove.  Leather pants that are not cut as breeches should be able to slide out of the boot and ease the resistance of leather on leather boot.  It is gripping as it should.  So, indeed it will be hard on the person pulling the boot off.

Another option would be to have a good saddle maker or leather craftsman sew in an invisible zipper on the back seam of the leather boot and have the fold of leather cover.  To hold the flap, have them sew a tiny buckle on the top edge of the boot.

Further option would have the boot supplier to motorcycle police officers fit the wearer.  Sometimes they can stretch the shank a bit, as motorcycle uniform breeches are indeed thicker than most equestrian breeches.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs



LadyHugs -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/18/2006 6:33:22 PM)

Dear embersMaster, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
For leather wear, I recommend going to Leather events.
 
January, Washington, DC has the Mid-Atlantic Leather 2007, where it is mostly a Gay Leather gathering, those who love leather; will find racks full of leather gear, attire, accessories that would fit any man out well.  I think there were at least 20 leather vendors and, they also had women's leather wear, whips, canes, rubber/latex and vinyl.
 
I would invite your consideration to look into your local Gay Leather scene, as to see if they do have something like MAL or, perhaps give advice on their Leather Flea and Swap meets.
 
In addition Mr. S, Leather Rack (in Washington, DC but ships all over) and other shops may have something.
 
I would not over look the Harley Davidson motorcycle show rooms and supplies, as they may have something that may suit your tastes and or style.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs



DominaSmartass -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/18/2006 6:58:06 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear littleone of Sirandlittle1, Ladies and Gentlemen;

In my mind's eyes I see; that a slave is a reflection of me.  I also take that further, to which I am the reflection of the slave.

I personally feel that it is extremely important, to set the example for my slave; especially in public where wearing an attire speaks to those who view it, as it makes a silient statement.  Furthermore, how I dress reflects on the slave attending me.  Since most assume that a slave will be domesticly given charge of maintaining my wardrobe, how it appears speaks to the quality of service to me by how my attire is manifested.


Amen, sister! ;) I really agree with you here. I am SO tired of seeing very beautiful and well groomed (submissive)women with horrific looking (dominant) men because he doesn't feel the need to make himself presentable. As the dominant in my relationship, I make absolute certain to look my best when I am going out with my boy as we are reflections on each other. I'm not saying you have to be dressed to the nines just to eat lunch and if you're doing something outdoors and grimy then by all means, dress the part, but I think it looks rediculous to have one impeccablly dressed partner with a slovenly one. Sure, it shows the power dynamic of "you are only here for my viewing pleasure and I don't owe you the same respect" but it is personally important to me that my partner, even if he is the submissive, not be embarressed to walk down the street with me because of a frumpy look. I have most definitely seen M/f couples (more so than the other way around) where the sub looks wonderful while the dom looks like he could not be bothered to care.



LadyHugs -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/18/2006 9:28:14 PM)

Dear diamonddreamlove, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I forgot to inquire on how your Dominant folded the excess of his leather pants prior to 'booting.'
 
Some have taken one fold over and shove into the boot but, in my experiences, it is one big 'lump' of leather.  The crease of the fold often lands on the bone/shin area which does not give and in turn jams, giving little give in removing the boot without some effort.
 
I have found, that if I take the leathers to the side, making two wings if you will and have the crease of the folds on the side of the calf, one inside and the other out; the fleshy calf is more flexible as to give when there is movement to the boot.  One may also consider 3 folds, as to decrease the amount of leather folded over.  This can be shown by folding regular slacks as to see any advantage.  In addition it does look more tidy that way, in my mind's eyes.  Where it may blouse with just one fold.  I look at it more like a 'fitted shirt.'
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs
 
 



BlkTallFullfig -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/18/2006 10:56:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress
Rank has its privillages....[;)]
I agree, lol.
Fortunately as the domina, I intend to have a say in how my boy looks...   I am usually able to make a man more yummy looking and smelling if I have a say in his wardrobe.    M



sweetnurseBBW -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/19/2006 6:33:51 AM)

He is the Dom and can do or dress how he likes. as crouching tigress said, rank has its privilages.



OrionTheWolf -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/19/2006 7:10:50 AM)

1) I respect that it is his right to dress as he pleases.
2) I personally like to dress many different ways, depending on the situation.
3) I am just as comfortable in my leather pants, white dress shirt, thin black tie, nice leather jacket; dressed up with regular suit and tie, my urban wear, my dress casual look or just plain lazy look.
4) I do on occasion like to dress in something my slave has mentioned she likes.
5) I often have my girls shop for me, a list of things I want and then tell them to pick out something they know I will like. This is a way that they can get some input on what they like to see without the power shifting to their "wants".
6) There is a difference between needs and wants.
7) My opinion is slightly different than most because each person is different and each Master wants different things.
8) Communicate respectfully your desires and beg him to wear something you like and you may get a better response. Kneeling, face down and arms outstretched along the floor to him while doing this will likely help.
9) If he still does not wish to, again it is his right and I will not judge that because it is dealing with a "want" and not a need. As well as I do not deal with submissives but with slaves.

Besides these listed above, it is really something you two need to work out if it is a big deal. I do not recommend using the comments here as some type of ammunition to use against him as it may have the opposite effect than desired.


Orion


quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlittle1

Hello Dom's.
I have a query that i would appreciate some male Dom insight into. When i talk to my Dom about it, it gets me too annoyed, as reasonable arguement is blocked. Dead.
 
Question is.
As a sub, ive found myself dressed up to please him. Certain looks, get him going. Not exactly rocket science is it. I have now, quite a collection of 'outfits' to provide visual stimulation for him.
Why do men feel that providing the same compliment goes against the grain, and cant?
 
When asked, im told that he would feel uncomfortable in such and such, and wouldnt be able to be himself. Does he think i feel comfortable at 42 in a school uniform!????
"taxi for mrs mutton" is how i feel.  But im the sub, so i get that he doesnt have to and i do.
 
But my argument is this. I also have visual arousal in my repetoire. And there are many 'looks' that do it for me.
And, there are one or two items of clothing, or equipment, that turn me into a salivating pavlov dog. Why would a Dom, not utilise this reaction to their advantage? Madness surely?
 
littleone




emdoub -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/19/2006 7:29:14 AM)

On the other hand, you could perhaps count your blessings -

Once upon a time, my slave annoyed me - not a big thing, but something that called out for punishment. 

We went out for a night on the town, and I chose her wardrobe - the slinky top, the skirt that looked like a wide belt, those boots... she was way hot.

In deep storage, I've got a 70's-era leisure suit in dog-mistake brown polyester - remember early polyester?  I wore that - and had a blast, watching the horror overwhelm her.  By 9:00, she was begging to go home and apologize.

Midnight Writer
thinking about upgrading to a powder-blue tailcoat....



agirl -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/19/2006 11:08:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlittle1

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

 You *find yourself dressed up to please him*?

Do you mean you do it because he asked you to, told you to, or that it was a voluntary thing, because you wanted to please him?

What is this *returning the compliment* thing you speak of?.....lol

I really couldn't give two hoots what my Master wears.......I certainly notice if he's looking especially sharp but to me, he looks bloody great in anything or without anything.

 
Yes, i willing dress up, without his asking to please him. Like doing off my own bat. And having asked directly if this does please him, it does.
 
What i meant by returning the complement.
I think any relationship will fail and die, if you dont nurture it. Invest time and energy into continued growth of that relationship. A tribute to how highly i value continueing my relationship, is the amount of effort i put in. It is a complementry statement of how high i hold my relationship with that person, in esteem. A compliment. For the other person in a relationship with me, i expect more or less equal effort in return. We all have had the friend that constantly runs late, or doesnt show. It tires me after a while.
With my Dom, who i hold in very high regard, i happily make 'an effort for him'. Just kinda thought it'd be good, if he returned the compliment.
 
i do care what my Sir looks like.
For the purposes of this thread, in particular, why dont Dom's dress up for their subs and utilise that element of her motivators?
Although im not living a bedroom only life, my level of submission, is hard wired to my libido. Not something im proud of, just is. I qued up in the blokes line by accident, mine's male. I want visual stimulation.
 
littleone
agirl




I understand your point of view now.

I don't have a very big drive to dress to please anyone except myself.......I have little interest in clothes altogether. My Master is much better dressed than I am almost all of the time. Sometimes he'll tell me to put a skirt on or something but it's rare for him to do that.

I don't expect reciprocal effort. I put effort into things that fire me up and so does he. We're extremely different people and aren't stirred by the same things.

I suppose I haven't had to care what he looks like because he always looks great. I, on the other hand, often look a pickle......If the way I dressed mattered to him a great deal I don't think he'd be here....lol.

If your level of submission is hardwired to your libido then I can see why it might matter a little more to you.  I don't have a recognisable level.....though it could be linked to how likely he is to wallop me........lol

agirl



Padriag -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/19/2006 1:44:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sirandlittle1
When asked, im told that he would feel uncomfortable in such and such, and wouldnt be able to be himself. Does he think i feel comfortable at 42 in a school uniform!????

When I originally read your post, the first question that came to mind was what do you mean by "dressed up"?  Reading your original post, I can take it two ways.  One to imply wearing fetish wear, some sort of costume, etc. that you find stimulating.  The other is the more conventional meaning of "dressed up", meaning dressed very nicely.

The first question, regarding fetish wear could have any number of explanations, all of them personal and most of them probably a variation on they don't care for fetish wear of that sort.

The second form of your question largely comes down to self image.  Everyone has an image of how they think they look, how they think they should look and what aids them in achieving that appearance.  Its very instructive sometimes to watch "What Not To Wear" and see this very dynamic at work.  You see a variety of people wearing things and the reasons often come down to one of two possibilities.  The first, they honestly think it looks good and the second, it feels good to them.  Feeling good is sometimes about more than just comfort, sometimes its an emotional attachment to a particular item of clothing, or even a category.

In short, clothing is one way in which we all express our self image.  It is one way we express to others how we see ourselves.  So it is naturally a very individualistic thing (and yet at the same time also how we express what group we belong to or wish to be part of...), one which is personal.  When you challenge that, you are in effect challenging the identity of the person themselves.  BTW, this is one reason the military places so much emphasis on hair cuts and uniforms... it forces a person to psychologically let go of their individuality and embrace a group identity as part of their unit, and with it to accept new concepts and ideas (the same process works on submissives as well).

So why don't some men dress up more often?  Because many don't see themselves as the sort of person that should.  Deep down they don't see themselves as a person that can wear a tailored suit, and if they do, not surprisingly they feel "out of place" and "uncomfortable" which are both emotional responses indicative of someone who is doing something they feel they shouldn't be.  Clothing can be just as important a part of image and status to men as it is to women.  Men's options may be more limited, their "dress codes" simpler, but they are no less rigid or imposing.  Their is an unspoken belief that certain classes of men (blue collar for example) do not wear three piece suits, they do not wear silk shirts, they do wear work boots and blue jeans.  Conversely there are some men who would equally feel uncomfortable in flannel shirt, blue jeans and work boots... as to them, it is not how they "should" dress.

Want to change how someone dresses... change their self image of how they should dress.  Help them to see themselves as someone who can wear different kinds of clothes.  Again, watching Stacy and Clinton deal with this weekly is an amusing, and educational, exploration of changing people's self image.



daddysliloneds -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/19/2006 2:20:54 PM)

 it's not about being the dom and having the last say or having rank over you; it's nothing more than selfishness and laziness; just ask any real man with  a marked amount of class!



agirl -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/19/2006 3:19:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds

it's not about being the dom and having the last say or having rank over you; it's nothing more than selfishness and laziness; just ask any real man with  a marked amount of class!


I agree that it's not ABOUT the *dom having the last say*.......It's about being content with the man YOU chose.

The kind of *class* that has held my gaze over the years has been his character not his wardrobe.......LOL

agirl



Grlwithboy -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/19/2006 4:17:37 PM)

I have the prerogative to look like ass if I choose.  Indeed, rank has its privileges.

However, if I do more than the bare minimum and dress better than "ass" the *positive effects* are more than worth the effort. If I know that a slave has a fetish for a marked item in my wardrobe I'm not caving in and being controlled by wearing it, I have just won 200 dollars and passed "go." The attention is that much *more* focused, the intensity just that much better and all I had to do was put on some freaking lipstick, black pants and my gloves.

In ignoring what the mr. says he thinks is hot on me, I'm not reinforcing my control. In putting it on and reminding him that I know exactly what it does to him, I might be.



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