RE: why wont you guys dress up for us?

RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (Full Version)

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OrionTheWolf -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/19/2006 6:35:10 PM)
Yep it sure is. That last book I bought with the awesome looking cover was also the best book I ever read. Orion quote: ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds it's not about being the dom and having the last say or having rank over you; it's nothing more than selfishness and laziness; just ask any real man with a marked amount of class!

desoutter -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/21/2006 12:11:15 PM)
I usually wear the same clothes - black jeans, t-shirt, combat boots and Ike jacket. Little or no variation.... why? It works for me.... something about the feel of the clothes - self image maybe? I just dont feel like an effective Dom wearing a banana hammock and tassels on my nipples... desoutter

KnightofMists -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/21/2006 5:35:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sirandlittle1 Question is. Why do men feel that providing the same compliment goes against the grain, and cant? first... men... don't feel this way... Some do... and some don't... don't make universal bullshit comments secondly, I don't dress up for my girls... I dress up for myself... I take pride in how I look! Also,, I am glad that my girls appreciate that I enjoy and want to dress well. But, make no mistake... I do it for me not them. Lastly, I would be concerned that my girls are dressing up just for me... I want them to have their own self-pride of looking good etc.... and I will definitely show my appreciate on the care they give in looking good and taking care of what is mine. But, make no mistake... this is not some deal I dress well you dress well BS.

Dartantris -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/22/2006 5:21:42 AM)
No submissive or slave should be telling a Dom/Master how to dress. Clothing is superficial and meaningless. There are qualities that you should seek in a Dom that are more important than how he dresses. If a person is honest and loyal, you should focus on that instead of what they are wearing. You're asking someone to dress a certain way because you associate objects of clothing with something that arouses you. Doesn't the person arouse you? I'm all for fantasy and role playing if that's something you enjoy. But being disatisfied in a relationship because your Dom won't "dress up" like a Dom seems a little ridiculous. Anyway, go put on that school girl outfit and I'll be the teacher who catches you cheating on a test. And stop your whining - if you know what's good for you.

LovingKitten -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/22/2006 5:28:11 AM)
Two possibilites.... 1) It really does make him uncomfortable 2) He knows that if he chose to wear what you desire, it would be a treat/reward, one to be used sparingly....

acctonthelook -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/22/2006 8:35:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail To be more specific and lazy yet,. my fuckin clothes are in the closet, you lay them out, if you don't like what I am wearin' prepare for an ass whipping, fault lies with you.......THIS IS JUST A POOR EXCUSE FOR A COPE OUT OF RESPONSIBILTY!! imho, you are missing the point. if you are a caring Master (which many of your posts seem cruel and short to others), if you care at all for your sub/slave, then maybe it would teach you something about giving to please and ensure your sub/slave is content and taken care of too. i really don't think it's a lot to ask your Master/ Dom to do those nice things too. this life is not all about your wants and needs either. a sub/slave asking this of her Master/ Dom should be viewed as a pure compliment! not as a punishment in which you seem to think, it should be. i will apologize now if i have offended you, but your posts do come across as harsh most of the time and very cynical. are u a happy person? if not, i'm sorry and i wish for you to be able to find someone who maybe can give that to you one day. happiness and compassion for others. Jali, offer to put on and take off his boots, you should be able to get boot jacks over there like nothing (the cast iron grasshoppers) this i agree with, it's a great idea! i will use it in the future as a way of complimenting my Master's ego and self-esteem, which everyone needs boosting now and again. LOL, Rib

acctonthelook -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/22/2006 8:43:18 AM)
Very well said xoxi! I agree. Many men complain about when meeting a sub/slave it should just be about the dynamic. it's so much more than that. sorry if you don't take the time to make yourself attractive, i do and want the same in another. quote: ORIGINAL: xoxi Superficial? Extremely! But then again I would rather be single than be with someone I wasn't compatible with. And that includes physically.

acctonthelook -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/22/2006 8:48:08 AM)
for being new you have great common sense. many Dom's don't realize that many sub/slave's are highly intelligent and 'know you say: i don't have to' is purely because 'you don't want to'. i do like your outlook of using it as a reward for being good. that made my heart smile. too bad a man like you is in texas and not the northeast! smiles quote: ORIGINAL: Xeath I know I'm new, but I figured I would share My thoughts on it. My kitten has occasionally asked me to wear a specific outfit for going out or to put something on. I use that as a reward for when she has been good. All to often the excuse I don't have to is used, and i'll admit I have used that myself because I didn't want to. However I must point out that as others have said the subs needs must be met as well otherwise is just an abusive take relationship of with power subversion involved. Rewarding a sub is always fun and also necessary to show them We truly care about them when they deserve it. Just my two cents in a round about the bushes answer heh. Xeath

akisha -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/22/2006 8:48:57 AM)
~FR~ Actually Sir had me look around and show him things I thought I would find him sexy in ( seriously is hoping for the cop uniform hehe) I sent him a huge list of ideas and ofcourse he has final say as to what he will and will not wear. The silk boxers covered in red hearts was a definate no sighs [:o] So I'm sure there are other Men that are more then willing to add that extra lil bit of spice to get their subs purring and panting.

Grlwithboy -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/22/2006 12:05:22 PM)
Guys seriously, consider yourself lucky if she doesn't have a fetish for dressing you as a giant roll of toilet paper or something totally obscure and try to work with this one just an inch -- I reiterate -- the rewards outweigh the trouble. I know I know. It's stupid, it's superficial. She should feel the same about you in 3 day old jeans as she does about you in a suit. Are you a visual creature? Do you care what she looks like at all? Probably to an extent. The idea that women are not visual creatures at all is a myth. A lot of women enjoy porn more than erotic stories. Not all, nor even a majority, but a lot. I guess the distaff side of the D world is ALWAYS being told what to wear, you know? We have Eric Stanton comics to live up to [8D] and prodomme media to be compared to all the time. But I've come to accept a certain amount of validity to it all. Do you like your girls horny or have all of you entered into situations of "I don't care if she's horny, it's not about her?" I get that, I do. But I still like to push buttons. If you know that she loves faceslapping do you then never do it in scene? (assuming you don't have a problem with it?) But let's face it, a corset adds voltage to a situation that sweatpants still function in but don't work the same way. You have a tool at your disposal, Gents. Merely that, a tool in the arsenal - give it a little consideration. This has been brought to you by biDomme eye for the Straight Guy. ;) Or Bi or whatever y'all are. You get my drift.

l8xmaster -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/25/2006 8:19:57 AM)
I find many of the answers here bizarre. Although being dominant, there is always an aspect that makes me feel like I am providing what the sub wants ... ie: I am at their beck and call !!!! However... I have the option to withdraw favours or pleasure. I've had 2 submissives who love me to be in business suits with collar and tie (shirts for you yanks) whilst they are in stockings and corset etc. This is fine with me because it makes them more maliable to their own desire. I can always add a twist by wearing my fetish out of sight (latex underwear is always great ... unless it makes a fart sound in public) but ultimately what you start off wearing at the start of the session rarely continues for the rest of the evening. I would say that your "master" is selfish and that showing a human consideration is NOT A WEAKNESS, just a sign of his imaturity. Fetish games is one thing ... true control comes with confidence and confidence lets you command the space and rules you have to work within.

SoftTop -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/25/2006 1:44:39 PM)
I think the "because he doesnt have to" argument is just plain stupid. In ANY relationship, be it nilla or kinked, partners need to constantly remind each other that they are desired. Doesn't matter if you're bottom, or top. Want your sub to WANT you? then why not go ahead, pick your lazy ass up off the couch, change outta those scraggly old pit stained tee shirts and holeyboxers, and dress up for her a little? This goes for bottoms too...having a little down time in your D/s? get off the couch, and put some prettie's on! We ALL have to work at keeping our flames alive you know? The "Larry the Cable Guy"look doesnt turn EVERYONE on.LOL Softie quote: ORIGINAL: acctonthelook i, as a sub get so tired of Dom's using 'because he doesn't have to' excuse in place of the actual cause: selfishness and laziness. being a good Dom also includes making sure your sub's needs get met too. oh sorry, you don't have too. zzzz quote: ORIGINAL: Diamonion To make a very generalized answer, because he doesn't have to. To get into a bit more specific... it's the joy of being a dom.

mnottertail -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/26/2006 6:32:17 AM)
quote: To be more specific and lazy yet,. my fuckin clothes are in the closet, you lay them out, if you don't like what I am wearin' prepare for an ass whipping, fault lies with you.......THIS IS JUST A POOR EXCUSE FOR A COPE OUT OF RESPONSIBILTY!! Perhaps it is a matter of reading comprehension. Nevertheless, perhaps it is plainer if I were to rephrase it as, 'you are the one who lays them out'. I also don't think you want that e hanging off of cop. LOL, Ron

amuzingtoyou -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/26/2006 7:32:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists [ secondly, I don't dress up for my girls... I dress up for myself... I take pride in how I look! Also,, I am glad that my girls appreciate that I enjoy and want to dress well. But, make no mistake... I do it for me not them. I don't see what is wrong with dressing or wearing a certain article your submissive enjoys you in. There are times my Dominant has worn specific items just because he knows i enjoy them. I hardly see it as some form of him submitting to me. If it pleases him to wear something he knows i enjoy, he benefits from the reaction that he will get. If we are going out to an event together or even just going out to dinner, occasionally he will announce to me, "I am going to dress up for you tonight". Now my Sir is always nicely dressed, but that means he has choosen an outfit with me in mind. Maybe it is my favorite color, or his leather pants that i find so yummy. To me it shows that he is concerned and pays attention to what i like as well. It always makes me feel very special when he does this. It isn't something he does all the time, but the once in a while that he does, really makes me feel good.

KnightofMists -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/26/2006 9:01:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: amuzingtoyou quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists secondly, I don't dress up for my girls... I dress up for myself... I take pride in how I look! Also,, I am glad that my girls appreciate that I enjoy and want to dress well. But, make no mistake... I do it for me not them. I don't see what is wrong with dressing or wearing a certain article your submissive enjoys you in. I never said there was anything wrong with it.... maybe you should stop being so defensive. I gave my motivations for how I dress myself.... others have different motivations... neither is right or wrong... just different.

amuzingtoyou -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/26/2006 9:17:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists [ I never said there was anything wrong with it.... maybe you should stop being so defensive. I gave my motivations for how I dress myself.... others have different motivations... neither is right or wrong... just different. Knight, I wasn't being defensive..just my opinion on your reply. You appeared to make it a pretty strong point that you didn't dress for your girls but only for yourself. Was my opinion on your reply. Certainly no harm was meant. missi

SirDiscipliner69 -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/26/2006 9:26:52 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sirandlittle1 I also have visual arousal in my repetoire. And there are many 'looks' that do it for me. /quote] It is a well known fact that women are not affected with visual but that of emotion. ;) Ross

Serenityy -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/26/2006 3:02:09 PM)
The clothing that I wear is worn with one thing in mind; to be found pleasing to the eye to others. The clothing that he wears is worn with one thing in mind. However he wished to dress on that particular occasion is his choice to make, not mine. He tells me his wishes, I lay them out for him, end of story. If he was to ask me what I would like to see him in; my response would always be the same; 'whatever you feel most comfortable wearing'. In my eyes and in my relationships, it is not about what makes me comfortable; but rather what he finds pleasing.

maybemaybenot -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/26/2006 3:57:05 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: KnightofMists I don't dress up for my girls... I dress up for myself... I take pride in how I look! Also,, I am glad that my girls appreciate that I enjoy and want to dress well. But, make no mistake... I do it for me not them. Lastly, I would be concerned that my girls are dressing up just for me... I want them to have their own self-pride of looking good etc.... and I will definitely show my appreciate on the care they give in looking good and taking care of what is mine. But, make no mistake... this is not some deal I dress well you dress well BS. This has been my exact experience. Both of my former Dominants took great pride in how they dressed and groomed. It was their pride, not mine. Like KOM's girls, this pleased me a lot. We had similar styles and likes in modes of dress, so in that way, I was fortunate. I was never above asking or saying " I love the way you look in * outfit ABC*, would you consider wearing it tonight". Sometimes he did, sometimes he didn't. If, by chance he did chose that outfit, I always did a litle something special such as wrapping a few chocolates in tulling with a little note saying thank you on his pillow or some such little act of appreciation.I generally always did some similar gesture whenever he agreed to a special request I made. mbmbn

erebus -> RE: why wont you guys dress up for us? (12/26/2006 7:42:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Elegant My somewhat snarky thoughts in general, not necessarily relating to D/s relationships: Many men are inept at picking out matching/coordinating/appropiate attire. Some men are colorblind and cannot match pants to shirts to ties to socks etc. Many men do not like to shop, especially in higher end stores so they either wear their ratty ('comfortable') clothing until it falls off their body or they pop into Wally World once a year for another Nascar T or doubleknit golf style shirt. Men often get into a rut and wear the same look for a loooong time..sometimes much longer that they should . (Hey..the 1980's are calling...they want their leather and knit sweater back). Often women think they have a fashion sense and men don't. How would one explain the men in the design industry? OK, yeah, they aren't normal guys, but still, it can't just be something that is carried on a X chromosome. I'll admit I don't have a lot of looks, but I have several that I like and I think I look good in. OTOH, I've had women purchase clothing for me that would make Brad Pitt look totally geeky. Your indictment of the male gender I suspect is female hubris, and not supported by fact.

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