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RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/19/2006 7:42:51 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

Wow , tough question...what brought me into BDSM..D/s..a man..lol..or more like a friend actually..what piqued my interest..at first, I wearied of weak men, I wearied of always being the absolute authority or strong one, I wearied of always making the decisions great and small...what kept me, and encouraged me to discover more?...the recognition of many things kept buried..What do I expect?..I expect not much...but hope for it all....I will not mislead in what I desire, nor will I go into it with eyes wide shut....I will not make do..I will not expect to change him...My chances for what I seek..slim...The reality of it?..slim...But as in all things the possibilities are endless.....

..Tempting...Not sure I answered the OPs question however...lol

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 41

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/19/2006 7:50:01 PM

Lashra

Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline

The desire to tie up my boyfriend and the fact that I was agressive/dominant in the bedroom and out of it. From that desire grew many more until here I am today, a Dominant woman with a submale.

I've never really cared what other people did as long as they leave me and mine alone and don't try to shove their beliefs down our throats. That is one thing that makes me very angry. I have found that IRL that people seem more accepting of my lifestyle then people online. It seems many internet folk feel that its ok to try to tell a dominant woman that she's really submissive, shes just been perverted by society. LMAO Nothing could be more untrue or comical. I am this way because I was born this way and had some nuturing along the way. Contrary to alot of people's belief, not all women are submissive. Its true, trust me I know. Just as it is true that not all males are dominant, this I also know is true. Each person is an individual with their own personality and gender doesn't decide if they come out dominant or submissive.

I have no desire to whore my submale out, I have no desire to force him to do things that disgust him. I will never harm him intentionally, I will never degrade him to the point that he feels less then human. I DO expect him to obey me and to please me in the bedroom. These are things we negotiated prior to my collaring him. I think if a person goes against their moral grain just to gain a dominant, they are doing it for the wrong reasons, and that kind of sounds like they are desperate to me.

~Lashra

_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 42

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/19/2006 8:47:17 PM

petdave

Posts: 2479
Status: offline

i don't know what lifestyle that you're in that women obey unquestioningly and nobody thinks i'm weird, but i sure could use a hit of that!!

i have never thought that male=cheating or BDSM=cheating. Sad that some people do, but not everyone makes the best choices in life.

...dave

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

When I read the cheating and the shocked at a behavior threads.. I just have to shake my head and ask.. "what do people expect here?!"

You have come into a situation.. aka 'lifestyle'.. where men expect women to obey unquestioningly, accept EVERYTHING because "it's ALL good", be expected to have multiple partners even if it's not your sexual preference, be accepted warts and all unless you are just going to be totally uncool and <gasp> judgmental! And not to mention.. it's based on KINK or novels! What do people expect??!!

The dominants probably, for the first time in their lives..have SOME kind of power and control over another person and that person is to be obedient and loving and accepting. Somebody.. SOMEWHERE, somehow, SOME TIME is going to be weird. No wait..you CAN'T be considered weird in this lifestyle..but you can be considered wrong, bigoted, judgmental and a fake if you don't buy into all of it.

What brought YOU into this lifestyle?

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 43

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/19/2006 9:07:08 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

I didn't expect anything. Until I discovered the internet I assumed everyone did this stuff. It did kind of throw me to find out I was perverted. I always loved SM. The sub part only happens with some males.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 44

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/20/2006 3:50:48 AM

catfood

Posts: 52
Joined: 11/30/2006
From: new jersey
Status: offline

fetch the holy hand grenade of antioch!!!!

_____________________________

constitutionally incapable of using the shift key...

(in reply to Missokyst)

Post #: 45

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/20/2006 4:51:47 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: petdave

i don't know what lifestyle that you're in that women obey unquestioningly and nobody thinks i'm weird, but i sure could use a hit of that!!

...dave

pssssssssssst.. that's the fantasy part of it...

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to petdave)

Post #: 46

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/20/2006 7:06:50 AM

Devilslilsister

Posts: 1262
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

The comments are alluding to the Monty Python Skit called the "Spanish Inquisition". circa 1971.. a tad before you were born :)
The reference to "The Comfy Chair":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F56ZZzz4meU&mode=related&search=

This is the skit in it's totality :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO68fUMWx3g

ah haaaaaaaa.

_____________________________

My ability to cope with BS is at an all time low - me

i may look like i'm doing nothing, but i'm very busy at a cellular level

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 47

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/20/2006 7:17:54 AM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

If someone has an itch that needs scratching and you aren't scratching the right spot you can assume they will find someone who will scratch the right spot.

OK. That is what I've found in the so called life style in r/l because the primary aim of people I have met is to find a partner that will gratify them physically so why would I expect some sort of fidelity? In the beginning I did rather naively expect fidelity but not any more, I've long since realised that a relationship where so much emphasi is put on the physical isn't probably going to create a strong platonic bond.

_____________________________

There are fascists who consider themselves humanitarians, like cannibals on a health kick, eating only vegetarians.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 48

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/20/2006 8:50:23 AM

LordODiscipline

Posts: 995
Joined: 6/28/2004
Status: offline

But it is just a little bunny rabbit... stand back - I shall Skewer the bugger!!"

quote:

ORIGINAL: catfood

fetch the holy hand grenade of antioch!!!!

_____________________________

"Anyone who thinks they're important is usually just a pompous moron who can't deal with his or her own pathetic insignificance and the fact that what they do is meaningless and inconsequential."
William Thomas

(in reply to catfood)

Post #: 49

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/20/2006 9:20:12 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

Posts: 1821
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong
What brought YOU into this lifestyle?

.
I heard they had milk and cookies.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 50

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/20/2006 9:28:55 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

For me this has always been what I was drawn to. From my very first partner on I was always the aggressor..I just loved to push boundaries...within reason...My way, my reason..lol. It was difficult to always find the right partners..."you want to do "what" to ME!"...lol...so some of my relationships seem to be rather tame, bland and somewhat unfullfilling.

I didn't seek this site for experience...it would be akin to teaching someone how to be "gay."...you are what you are. So some of the aspects of this "lifetstyle" and the people who frequent it are to me rather creepy. I consider myself to be a humanitarian it's just people I don't like...lol. I don't really care to go into specifics 'cause there is a lid for every pot...and I would be stepping on toes...I don't really mind expressing my opinions...It's just the crunching and cracking sounds that are hard to get used to.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

(in reply to justheather)

Post #: 51

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/20/2006 10:39:48 AM

LotusSong

Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

If someone has an itch that needs scratching and you aren't scratching the right spot you can assume they will find someone who will scratch the right spot.

OK. That is what I've found in the so called life style in r/l because the primary aim of people I have met is to find a partner that will gratify them physically so why would I expect some sort of fidelity? In the beginning I did rather naively expect fidelity but not any more, I've long since realised that a relationship where so much emphasi is put on the physical isn't probably going to create a strong platonic bond.

This was pretty much my point.. but it sure got off track. (thanks for posting your thoughts here) When a guy finds this situation.. where supposedly.. he is "large and in charge and can do whatever he wants".. and a woman who gives her "heart, mind, body and soul while humming 'Someone to Watch Over Me'" over to "master"... then gets really shocked when he comes home with some dandy ideas. This is where I scream at the monitor "WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!" sometimes even blood will squirt out of my eyes.

What drew me to it all? At this point.. I really can't even remember.

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 52

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/20/2006 4:13:17 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

As in this "type" of relationship or any other I do believe that people expect honesty. Maybe there is more "cheating" because perhaps the folks out here are a little more sexually charged than their plain 'nilla counterparts, or perhaps it is because the people out here are simply more fucked up with many serious fucking issues that would bring them into participating into this type of "lifestyle."

You would hope that it is a journey of introspection instead of a road where you were getting fucked by your Pa or Good ol'Uncle Lonnie that has brought you hear...but there is not one type of collar that fits all necks nor are all leashes made for every hand.

The sight of shit turns my stomach....Yet I can see many of you drooling...may your path be long and the scat rise up to meet you.

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 53

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/20/2006 4:44:32 PM

Petruchio

Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline

Going back to the original post...

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

When I read the cheating and the shocked at a behavior threads.. I just have to shake my head and ask.. "what do people expect here?!"

You have come into a situation.. aka 'lifestyle'.. where men expect women to obey unquestioningly, accept EVERYTHING because "it's ALL good", be expected to have multiple partners even if it's not your sexual preference, be accepted warts and all unless you are just going to be totally uncool and <gasp> judgmental! And not to mention.. it's based on KINK or novels! What do people expect??!!

The dominants probably, for the first time in their lives..have SOME kind of power and control over another person and that person is to be obedient and loving and accepting. Somebody.. SOMEWHERE, somehow, SOME TIME is going to be weird. No wait..you CAN'T be considered weird in this lifestyle..but you can be considered wrong, bigoted, judgmental and a fake if you don't buy into all of it.

So, being married, what are you doing here?

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 54

RE: What Did You Expect?! - 12/26/2006 3:39:43 PM

dawntreader

Posts: 3045
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline

Very interesting thread :-)

Expectations very often do lead to disappointment. Fact of life, not lifestyle :-)

As far as those that come here to express shock and disappointment over something...well i find the same thing in other online communities i participate in such as the philosophy and political communities.

As a novice sub, i read all of these threads with interest and have learned quite a bit from veteran members of this online community especially when they reply with wisdom to the " shocked and cheating" threads/posters.

In real life, the ups and downs of a D/s or M/s relationship are no different than vanilla in respect to trust/honesty/communication. When i was newer and less jaded, i had more romantic notions that i no longer subscribe to; the grass is not greener on either side of the fence... i just prefer the side that fulfills my kink.

As, far as my introduction to the lifestyle, i was introduced to it by a beautiful 23 year old philosopher last summer and it has been a wild ride since then ~

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

When I read the cheating and the shocked at a behavior threads.. I just have to shake my head and ask.. "what do people expect here?!"

You have come into a situation.. aka 'lifestyle'.. where men expect women to obey unquestioningly, accept EVERYTHING because "it's ALL good", be expected to have multiple partners even if it's not your sexual preference, be accepted warts and all unless you are just going to be totally uncool and <gasp> judgmental! And not to mention.. it's based on KINK or novels! What do people expect??!!

The dominants probably, for the first time in their lives..have SOME kind of power and control over another person and that person is to be obedient and loving and accepting. Somebody.. SOMEWHERE, somehow, SOME TIME is going to be weird. No wait..you CAN'T be considered weird in this lifestyle..but you can be considered wrong, bigoted, judgmental and a fake if you don't buy into all of it.

What brought YOU into this lifestyle?

(in reply to LotusSong)

Post #: 55

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