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Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating your s... - 12/19/2006 5:21:55 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline 		I'm just curious for others' opinions here. This is not actually a situation I would get myself into but I do want to hear some perspectives just for the fun of it.

Have you ever or would you ever put your sub/slave in a situation to do something that is more difficult than necessary, just because you like it that way? For example: making your sub wear heavy arm and leg chains where he or she is attached to a post with only a limited length of chain, while cleaning, even though it makes cleaning efficiently nearly impossible to do (at most) and extremely frustrating to the sub (at best.) I'm curious about this and I know the reaction will vary from person to person, but I've seen and heard of this kind of stuff...

So what do you think? Would your answer change if it caused your sub a lot of frustration, emotional turmoil, etc., to not be able to do what it is that he/she she has been ordered to do but really wants to?

Do doms do this kind of thing purely for fun or is there any real legitimate reason...some sort of "training" I suppose ;) I think it's kind of counterproductive to a healthy relationship but like I said, I'm curious.

Thanks!
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 5:26:01 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Not everyone attains the goals they set forth in life. Not every situation provides optimum circumstance. There are lessons to be learned here as well.  See the subs and slaves pulling their hair out when they cannot perform service, thru no fault of their own.........they get all sick and dizzy and they bite themselves.


Ron 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 5:29:17 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		I would hate to be charged with a task there was no way I could complete.  I am very sensitive anyway, so dooming me to failure would wound me to the core.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 5:30:26 PM   
diamonddreamlove


Posts: 770
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline 		Smiling sometimes Master does set goals for me that creates extra difficulty just because he wants me have to use my brain and work hard for his pleasure.


_____________________________

"Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much." Robert Greenleaf

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 5:31:48 PM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Subs/slaves are not all purpose machinery.  I would never do this with a very service oriented submissive with a very serious demeanor because it could even veer on abusive to that kind of a person - if they take pleasing me in service details with deadly seriousness, the levels of frustration would exceed anything constructive.

If I were playing with a SAM, on the other hand, or someone with a more playful demeanor, or maybe a service oriented slave who'd gotten kind of boastful or overly cocky about how good he/she is - it's another scene. It might be appropriate, it might be fun, it might be very funny. As with anything I think thinking about who you're doing it with and knowing the person really well helps a lot.

(in reply to mnottertail)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 5:49:43 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Serious question now................
You ever watched some one die of lets say lung cancer, and talk about how sorry they are that it is happening and they let you down...........

Abuse..........?

I wholly agree, not machinery; but animals...............................

Linnaeus


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 6:19:30 PM   
Serenityy


Posts: 97
Status: offline 		I would have to wonder at the sanity of a Dominant/Master who set impossible goals for their submissive/slave just to receive enjoyment from their inevitable failure. Even sadism has it's own limits.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 6:27:00 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass
Have you ever or would you ever put your sub/slave in a situation to do something that is more difficult than necessary, just because you like it that way?

All the time.

quote:

So what do you think? Would your answer change if it caused your sub a lot of frustration, emotional turmoil, etc., to not be able to do what it is that he/she she has been ordered to do but really wants to?

Of course.  I'd likely do a combination to train him into new reactions and tone it down somewhat.

quote:

Do doms do this kind of thing purely for fun or is there any real legitimate reason...some sort of "training" I suppose ;) I think it's kind of counterproductive to a healthy relationship but like I said, I'm curious.

Thanks!

For me it's completely for fun.  It's only counterproductive if it's not working for the relationship.  My partner happens to LOVE/HATE teasing and frustration the same way I LOVE/HATE humiliation. 

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 6:32:25 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Master does this sort of thing to me all the time.  The OP didn't say impossible, she said nearly impossible.  This means with LOTS of hard work, it is possible.  He does this for his amusement and because he loves to see how hard I will work for him.  What I gain out of it is immeasureable strength.  He has never set me up for failure.  He has set me up to be creative, resourceful, and intelligent.  The result has been a boosted self esteem and confidence, and the ability to know I can accomplish those things I set out to accomplish.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 6:36:07 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Master does this sort of thing to me all the time.  The OP didn't say impossible, she said nearly impossible.  This means with LOTS of hard work, it is possible.  He does this for his amusement and because he loves to see how hard I will work for him.  What I gain out of it is immeasureable strength.  He has never set me up for failure.  He has set me up to be creative, resourceful, and intelligent.  The result has been a boosted self esteem and confidence, and the ability to know I can accomplish those things I set out to accomplish.

Thanks Owned.  I'm gonna make my partner read that tonight, and maybe print it out.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 6:48:57 PM   
OrionTheWolf


Posts: 7803
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline 		yes I purposefully make things more difficult on my slaves sometimes. Depending on the slave will depend on what it is and how I do it. I push them all the time, constantlty moving the bar higher for them to attain. As I push them they respond well and become more and more pleasing. Setting a high goal and making it difficult then offer alot of praise and some reward when they attain it, has been a great way for me to show my slaves that I would not have had them do it, unless I knew they had it in them.

Life is harsh and pushes us to our limits all the time. It makes us better in many ways. I would not do what you have in your example though unless the lesson I was teaching was not wanting to get the cleaning done.

I feel it is my responsibility to push my slaves harder and harder, so that they can reach their full potential and molding them into a better piece of property with greater value.


Orion


quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass

I'm just curious for others' opinions here. This is not actually a situation I would get myself into but I do want to hear some perspectives just for the fun of it.

Have you ever or would you ever put your sub/slave in a situation to do something that is more difficult than necessary, just because you like it that way? For example: making your sub wear heavy arm and leg chains where he or she is attached to a post with only a limited length of chain, while cleaning, even though it makes cleaning efficiently nearly impossible to do (at most) and extremely frustrating to the sub (at best.) I'm curious about this and I know the reaction will vary from person to person, but I've seen and heard of this kind of stuff...

So what do you think? Would your answer change if it caused your sub a lot of frustration, emotional turmoil, etc., to not be able to do what it is that he/she she has been ordered to do but really wants to?

Do doms do this kind of thing purely for fun or is there any real legitimate reason...some sort of "training" I suppose ;) I think it's kind of counterproductive to a healthy relationship but like I said, I'm curious.

Thanks!

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 6:50:37 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass
Have you ever or would you ever put your sub/slave in a situation to do something that is more difficult than necessary, just because you like it that way?

So what do you think? Would your answer change if it caused your sub a lot of frustration, emotional turmoil, etc., to not be able to do what it is that he/she she has been ordered to do but really wants to?

Do doms do this kind of thing purely for fun or is there any real legitimate reason...some sort of "training" I suppose ;)

I have put Angel in situations like that on occasion. My reasons, to make him prove to me that he is wiling to put in an actual effort to make me happy.  If it were always easy, then he would have no inspiration to go out of his way to do anything.  A little hard work has never killed anyone.  I would never ask him for something that I knew was impossible, since allowing him to fail WOULD be counterproductive to both our relationship and to my rebuilding of his ego. However, praising a job well done when he puts the effort into doing something more difficult is very prductive.  He gets a sense of pride for a job well done, and I am happy with him. Priase goes a long way with some people.
I have learned, at least with him, that frusteration leads to determination.  He has never given up on a task. He has taken ridiculous amounts of time to complete some, getting results back to me well after I had forgotten there was an assignment pending.  However, esepcially in situatons like that, rewarding the hard work that went into something is something I enjoy.  I suppose you could say its training, teaching him that a little effort can go a long way. 

DV 

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 6:53:23 PM   
gretchenS


Posts: 237
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline 		I remember this one time he did something like this just to see my reaction to the comand. He told me to wash the dishes holding the sponge with my elbow. I was totally optimistic towards the task. He laughed and I realized he was just being an a**clown.

I don't know if that would be one of those situations, is more related to a mind fuck. But I assure you, if that was not the case, I would have finished with the dishes around midnight.


< Message edited by gretchenS -- 12/19/2006 6:58:34 PM >

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 6:55:03 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Master does this sort of thing to me all the time.  The OP didn't say impossible, she said nearly impossible.  This means with LOTS of hard work, it is possible.  He does this for his amusement and because he loves to see how hard I will work for him.  What I gain out of it is immeasureable strength.  He has never set me up for failure.  He has set me up to be creative, resourceful, and intelligent.  The result has been a boosted self esteem and confidence, and the ability to know I can accomplish those things I set out to accomplish.

Thanks Owned.  I'm gonna make my partner read that tonight, and maybe print it out.


Uh oh, should I be looking over my shoulder now? 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 7:08:59 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		I asked my dominant for his response on this.

Me:  Would you think of ordering/asking me to do something and then make it harder then it needed to be so that you can watch me struggle in order to please you.
Him:  No... because that would defeat the purpose. 
Me:  It proves my desire to please you?
Him:  You simply doing something that I've asked proves that pretty well.


I asked him if he would do it as part of a scene or a punishment. He said that going through the effort of binding me like that for a punishment seemed more trouble then just doing what he wanted done himself and perhaps for a scene. I guess as a couple we just don't the point of getting someone to do something and then making it take longer. Probably not a popular opinion here but it works for us!
 

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 7:09:58 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Some people look at things the way they are, and say why................


fill in the rest...
Bobbie K.


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 7:41:08 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
Master does this sort of thing to me all the time.  The OP didn't say impossible, she said nearly impossible. 


I understand and agree with what you're saying ownedgirlie, but I focused on the following quote from the OP and that was what I reacted to, even though it is different from her first paragraph. 

quote:

ORIGINAL: DominaSmartass
So what do you think? Would your answer change if it caused your sub a lot of frustration, emotional turmoil, etc., to not be able to do what it is that he/she she has been ordered to do but really wants to?


A difficult task that requires extreme effort, determination, creativity, etc. to accomplish it, is a whole nuther ballgame for me than an impossible task that simply cannot be done.  I am a problem solver by nature (hey I'm a Virgo!), so a challenge I can handle and might even relish (depending on what it was ), and you betcha I'd beam with pride when I accomplished it. 

But give me a task that simply cannot be done, and you've set me up for frustration and ultimate failure. 

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 7:45:00 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Aren't you the one that licked up the last bit of pie, and then said something like---
'But; I WAS GONNA?'

You will have to repeat the class, sorry----

Anne Sullivan.


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
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RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 7:51:41 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Some people look at things the way they are, and say why................


fill in the rest...
Bobbie K.



Is it twoo what they say about the way you people are?  Oh. Wrong quote...

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Making it harder than it needs to be/frustrating yo... - 12/19/2006 7:51:51 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Aren't you the one that licked up the last bit of pie, and then said something like---
'But; I WAS GONNA?'

You will have to repeat the class, sorry----


But Ron, I was very successful at the task of eating the last piece of yummy pecan pie!!

<-------- me beaming with pride and doing the happy dance for completing that task.

I will be most happy to repeat that task this weekend by making another pecan pie and consuming the last piece again.


(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 20
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