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RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/23/2006 10:59:15 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian

On a more serious note, I've been with submissives who when the going got rough wanted to go vanilla with me. The first two times, loving the one I was with, I didn't want to seperate from them so I accepted it. The third time I made it clear there is no way. Taking that away, takes away intimacy. It's like living in a ghost town with noone around anymore because you don't want to move. The more everything changes, the more I stay the same, and the more it's clear I am not fulfilled outside of D/s.

I understand your opinion and experiences which add much to the debate. I think that part of what motivates my OP is wondering if the D/s label becomes more important than the relationship in which the D/s occurs. If we took the words D/s away, people still would have these sorts of relationships, and I would venture to say they always have. Some people are more dominant than other people, some people give up their control to others willingly and readily.

I suppose I wonder if the lifestyle identity is as important or more important than the actual people that are involved in it together. I am not a public scene person. I would be a submissive personality no matter what we called our relationship... I have on a few occasions wondered if people put more value on this aspect of their identity than other aspects of themselves.

I guess I highlighted your post partially because it seems like this was an issue for you, and I am absolutely not implying that you think the lifestyle or the labels are more important than your relationship, I was just highlighting what you said to further my own thoughts on this.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to akbarbarian)

Post #: 61

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/23/2006 11:18:36 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

I am not a public scene person, either. I think it's about the relationship and the mind-set, not the superficial trappings of bdsm activity. If you are really into controlling or being controlled by someone, I think you could probably do it in a snowstorm in an igloo somewhere, for instance, with no physical implements at all, maybe (except ice, hehe).

Not that there is anything wrong with "clubbing", etc. for those that are into that. I'm just not, really. Maybe it's my age - I sorta feel like "been there, done that."

- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 12/23/2006 11:29:30 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 62

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/24/2006 4:18:58 AM

RedSavageSlave

Posts: 733
Joined: 9/12/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

So I ask those who have had a power exchange relationship for multiple years, did you or do you expect there to be change within the relationship, do you try to stop that or embrace it as the unique thing the relationship dynamic is? What is more important, the relationship or the power exchange?

I guess for me it is not an either / or..it is that both are equally important in order to sustain the kind of relationship that I need to have in order to grow within that relationship.

I have been in too many relationships where I was taken on as a submissive, only to find the dominant partner wanting to go vanilla after a very short time. This does not work for me. I have tried and it just does not work. This kind of change or relationship flow if you will..feels like I was lied to in some ways.

I suppose it is all about where values are placed and maybe mine are more superficial except that it really doesnt feel that way. I want the strong relationship that will ebb and flow as it wends its path down the river of time. There are times when that river may branch out and form new pathways which hopefully will add to the relationship as a whole..but if that pathway does not at some point rejoin the river..it has the potential of becoming nothing but a trickling stream with no strength or power to keep it flowing. Then it becomes little more than a stagnant pool.

And this I cannot accept in a relationship for myself.

_____________________________

My give a damn's busted.

So many thoughts, so few of them rational

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 63

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/24/2006 5:40:17 AM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline

Julia, as a male sub I totally appreciate your comments, however, I just want a few very simple things out of a relationship:

1) That she looks like you.

2) That she thinks like me.

3) That she tastes like orange creamsicles.

4) That she's independently wealthy.

5) That she always knows where my keys are.

(I don't think that's too much for a man to ask).

_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 64

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/24/2006 6:05:28 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I understand your opinion and experiences which add much to the debate. I think that part of what motivates my OP is wondering if the D/s label becomes more important than the relationship in which the D/s occurs. If we took the words D/s away, people still would have these sorts of relationships, and I would venture to say they always have. Some people are more dominant than other people, some people give up their control to others willingly and readily.

julia,

i do understand what you are saying here but i think that both ak and Red are talking about partners who 'wanted to go vanilla' in the sense that they were no longer interested in submitting or dominating. But i know what you are saying....that if you are dom and sub, nothing will really change that, regardless of what you call (or don't call) the relationship. But it seems that is not always the case. For some reason, some just no longer want to submit...or dominate.

When my mother was 46, she had what they called (back then) a nervous breakdown. (my father was only 41 at the time.) That incident changed my parents' entire lives. my mother sank into a deep depression. She had to be medicated....and was in and out of the hospital. There were days she couldn't even get out of bed. And not surprisingly, she lost all interest in sex.

my father was working 2 jobs then but he did the best he could to manage the rest of the house. i had just turned 10 and i had a 4 year old brother to care for and i really didn't understand it all, but i did what i could to help. But my father was suddenly thrust in a role he had never, ever expected. i mean, he always worked 2 jobs and my mom always took care of the kids and the home.

Anyhoo...my mom was never the same after that. She was very fragile....cried a lot....got sick a lot. She saw a psychiatrist and was always medicated. my parents' sex life changed (for the worse) and when i left home at 17, my mom took over my bedroom.

When i look back at how young my father was at the time...and what he lost....it makes me shudder. BUT, he stayed true to both my mother and their marriage until he died. i can't say that he was a happy with his lot, but you would never know it is he wasn't. my dad was just an overall good guy and couldn't turn away a bum in the street if his life depended on it...and he was highly respected in our small community.

So what is my point? my father stayed on with my mother because he was committed to both her and his wedding vows (or did he just feel obligated?). Whichever, i think that takes a lot to do. When i think of myself, i think that i could not continue on in a D/s relationship if my partner so drastically changed that the dominant part was no longer possible or practiced. i've waited a long, long time for a dominant partner....if that were going to be the case, i might as well start looking for a vanilla guy right now that might be of interest to me. But i can't because i need the 'D'.

And it isn't just the physical part i'm talking about....like the bdsm and whatnot. i just couldn't be who i need to be with someone who could not take the lead in the relationship between us (just as a dom may not be able to continue on with a partner who decides to no longer submit). What good is it to be a sub without a dom or a dom without a sub, regardless of what you name the relationship?

So why is it that some would stay regardless? Is it their overall feelings for the other? Is it a commitment to the relationship? Or an obligation? Or is it something else? i really don't know. Just throwing some things out there.

DG

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 65

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/24/2006 7:55:14 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

redsavageslave

I suppose it is all about where values are placed and maybe mine are more superficial except that it really doesnt feel that way. I want the strong relationship that will ebb and flow as it wends its path down the river of time. There are times when that river may branch out and form new pathways which hopefully will add to the relationship as a whole..but if that pathway does not at some point rejoin the river..it has the potential of becoming nothing but a trickling stream with no strength or power to keep it flowing. Then it becomes little more than a stagnant pool.

I do not think that because someone's needs are different than mine that makes them shalllow or wrong, just different. I asked this question of everyone knowing that many need D/s in their intimate relationships to be happy. I see nothing wrong with that.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to RedSavageSlave)

Post #: 66

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/24/2006 7:56:17 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

Julia, as a male sub I totally appreciate your comments, however, I just want a few very simple things out of a relationship:

1) That she looks like you.

2) That she thinks like me.

3) That she tastes like orange creamsicles.

4) That she's independently wealthy.

5) That she always knows where my keys are.

(I don't think that's too much for a man to ask).

you are so sweet

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LTRsubNW)

Post #: 67

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/24/2006 8:12:45 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

adaddysgirl

So why is it that some would stay regardless? Is it their overall feelings for the other? Is it a commitment to the relationship? Or an obligation? Or is it something else? i really don't know. Just throwing some things out there.

I only quoted the above, but I wanted you to know I read your entire post and was touched by it, I guess we do not often see people with the level of commitment that your dad displayed often anymore.

When I first wrote this thread it was about people feeling fullfilled and happy within the context of their relationship, no matter how it had changed.. whether there was more or less power exchange. My thoughts moved to the challenges as the thread progressed, but I would like to revisit the original premise of the thread when answering the portion of your post that I am quoting.

Perhaps some would stay because they are still happy with the other person. Perhaps it would not make you happy, or others happy, but what if the person was still happy within their relationship even though the D/s was not a prevalent as it had once been? What if their partner made them laugh, feel valued, finished their sentences, was loyal, giving, trustworthy? I do not know if I could throw such a fish back because the D/s was not the focus of the relationship anymore. Good things can interupt the flow of the dynamic, grandchildren, carrying for elderly parents (which can be a good thing depending on one's perspective and desire to be close to their loved ones), school, working more hours... all sorts of things can "get in the way". Perhaps someone was micromanaged at the start of the relationship, but that changes because it is not a feasible thing anymore.

The other portion of your question, why do people stay within commitments even though it takes a lot out of them? From my perspective, most don't. I have witnessed people with incredible commitment, but many do not possess it. I would not leave anyone I loved. I am fast approaching the age that this becomes part of my overall outlook on life. I have passed up opportunities to care for others, I would do it again. Why? Because it gives more than it takes from me to be there for those I love on some level. At times it is just an obligation, and at others it is only the commitments that you made that keep you there. I think back on my own experience with this (caring for someone until they passed away), and I have to say my thoughts still go back to him all the time, and I smile, and I know because of me and my mom and my son this person's life on planet Earth was easier at the end... and that gives me more than I can even communicate... would I do less for my life mate than I did for my mother's? That is my experience though.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 68

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/24/2006 8:37:40 AM

Bearlee

Posts: 2311
Joined: 10/25/2004
From: South Central CO
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sinergy
… I have trained a number of dogs in my life. A dog perceives the universe in a certain way. They have a distinct need to try to claim the Alpha position in the relationship, but if they know they are not the Alpha, they are perfectly happy.

Provided...

The Alpha in their life understands their role and accepts it.

Without putting down submissives, I want to point out that there are aspects to this sort of behavior / training which are similar…

Thank you, Sinergy…

I have trained dogs as well; both conformation and obedience. And…you’re right with that statement regarding IF “the Alpha in their life understands their role and accepts it”.

Owners of dogs…and anybody who’s watched documentaries on wolves…know canines are pack oriented and work within a hierarchy.

The deal is…that hierarchy is constantly enforced. Sometimes in play; where the Alpha merely wrestles (the willing) dog down and just straddles it…standing over it for a bit; then off for more play.

Sometimes the Alpha gets a bit more serious…and the ‘pecking order fights’ break out. Anybody with pets has witnessed this from time to time. The pack changes as pups mature, sometimes older pups stay and challenge either the Alpha male or the Alpha female. Stuff happens…but there is always…ALWAYS…the tension of command there; by whoever wields it.

As it turns out…I rather like that; and see it is how a D/s relationship keeps that energy exchange live and healthy.

beverly

(in reply to Sinergy)

Post #: 69

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/24/2006 9:18:42 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

These statements have occurred over and over again since I joined this site. It makes me wonder if those of us that have power exchange relationships expect them to remain the same forever and ever.

Nope I don’t (in my relationship at least).

quote:

...but what happens after the honeymoon stage is over in a power exchange relationship? Do people expect that their dom is always going to be domly every moment, giving them the dominance they have always fantasized about getting?

I don’t expect that, but then again quite honestly I never expected (or fantasized) about getting dominance every single moment. I've never seen that feasible or sustainable (and I tend to be a realistic type of person).

quote:

Is the submissive always going to feel like flashing cow eyes are their dominant partner feeling like melting into a puddle of submissive goo?

No, but then again that never happened. We never had that hot and heavy honeymoon period, we just ramped up slowly.

And I always laugh at couples like that to be honest.

quote:

So I ask those who have had a power exchange relationship for multiple years, did you or do you expect there to be change within the relationship, do you try to stop that or embrace it as the unique thing the relationship dynamic is? What is more important, the relationship or the power exchange?

I’ve always expected there to be change in the relationship and over the years its definitely evolved and changed. I think that the relationship and the dynamic are so interchanged that there wouldn’t be a relationship without the d/s dynamic, so I guess the dynamic is more important.

C~

< Message edited by Wildfleurs -- 12/24/2006 9:22:21 AM >

_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 70

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/24/2006 9:50:26 AM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: akbarbarian

quote:

ORIGINAL: hejira92
Once Master told me he would still love me and be with me if we didn't have or continue the BDSM aspects of the relationship. He said this to emphasis how much me loves me- not just my submission. And I realized how generous and loving the comment was at the time, but later, as it resonated, it really upset my balance because my whole self image has changed since being owned by Him. I am a collared submissive- i will never be anything but His ever again and I wouldn't ever want a relationship that was not TPE. Not even with Master- i wouldn't know how to relate to Him.

Maybe he thought hearing that would be reassuring. I've had submissives who want to know they'd be accepted even if they weren't submissive, and that's really hard for me. In their case, I think it was more a matter of their not being entirely confident and comfortable with being submissive all of the time. In any case, your Master is one lucky man to have someone so at peace with her role as his submissive.

Thank you. And on the topic of changes- Master placed a locking collar on my neck last night. I am now permanently and publicly owned- forever.

Happy and Blessed Holidays, Everyone!

_____________________________

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Member:
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(in reply to akbarbarian)

Post #: 71

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/24/2006 10:52:26 AM

acctonthelook

Posts: 245
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Julia I just love your questions :) Ditto!

However, having said this, it is no secret between he and I that without the power exchange I would no longer be his slave, nor would he be my Master. We would be friends; we would not be Master and slave. Neither of us has any intention of letting that occur, as we both find fulfillment in what we have. If he were to decide he did not want a slave any longer (or did not want me as his slave any longer), I would be sent on my way and we would likely remain amicable. If I were to no longer wish to submit to him, the same would occur. While we love each other, our relationship is not a romance - its foundation is that he is Master and I am slave.

In response to the OP:

.if the building lost the foundation, could you stay? no, you would be rebuilding.

< Message edited by acctonthelook -- 12/24/2006 10:54:18 AM >

(in reply to ownedgirlie)

Post #: 72

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/24/2006 2:10:00 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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While I agree that holding true to one's self and one's commitments does mean through the "good and the bad and the worst of times"- we shouldn't be guilted or shamed for recognizing when a situation no longer serves us or fulfills us and needs to be ended.

There are plenty of situations in which the relationship changed, it would be over. IMO that's a good thing- all relationships should be conditional. We make a serious choice (hopefully) when we make a long term commitment. It's only reasonable to re-evaluate and perhaps make another choice if the circumstances upon which that choices was based severely alter.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to acctonthelook)

Post #: 73

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/24/2006 6:31:25 PM

akbarbarian

Posts: 596
Joined: 12/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I suppose I wonder if the lifestyle identity is as important or more important than the actual people that are involved in it together.

For me it's not about pride, or a sense of belonging. It's not even just about what I want. It simply isn't realistic to have a long term vanilla relationship with me except as friends. How well would you do being with someone, knowing they weren't satisfied and were obsessed with that all consuming passion that says
"Control a female, make her kneel to your desires. Lead her, protect her, subjugate her. Make her plead with her eyes like a dog, and wag her invisible tail. Pet her hair when her head is resting on your knee"

I hear those urges all day, awake and asleep. It's hard to treat vanillas like vanillas. I need an outlet for my passion. How can I be with someone long w/o D/s then (though I have tried)? It's like holding your breath, you can only do it for so long.

_____________________________

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(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 74

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/25/2006 12:40:58 AM

adaddysgirl

Posts: 1093
Joined: 3/2/2004
From: Syracuse, NY
Status: offline

julia,

i actually know exactly what you are saying. That is why i really hate to draw definitive conclusions on what i would do in a situation that i am not in/have not been in. For me, i can only speculate. If i were in a 5 year relationship (or even 2 year)....maybe i would feel differently. i guess i can only go by what i feel right at this moment....which might not mean anything under different circumstances.

This reminds me of Christopher Reeves' wife after he became wheelchair-bound. That woman stayed with him til the very end and i must admit, i deeply, deeply admire her. Could i have done the same? i really don't know. i'd like to think i was that dedicated but if i were honest, i just don't know if i could do it.

i don't see your way as wrong at all. i guess everyone has their way of 'being true' to themselves....and that's what matters most.

Happy holidays to you and yours

DG

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 75

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/25/2006 12:58:55 AM

Grlwithboy

Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline

I left a relationship of 7 years because it was vanilla, would only be vanilla and could only be vanilla - it would never have the potential to fulfill me.

I never thought I'd be sidetracked from the expression of my orientation- I'm a Domme, for God's sake, and not just in the bedroom, rawr!

Then I was diagnosed with a chronic flare-and-remission illness.

Libido meet high-dose steroids. Ego meet high-dose steroids. Even keeled and thoughtful personality (if a little intense) ---meet steroids. Pow.

That took me out of the me-loop for a solid year. I am incredibly glad that my slave and my husband both have patience and long-range thinking enough to realize that things would eventually change - whether it meant me getting used to being ill and steroid-dependent enough to somehow find my way or whether it would be me getting into remission and off the crap (it was the latter, gladly, this time) I was really fortunate to be with people who knew that while I might be finding my way and shaken to my foundations - the the levels of D/s expression they'd need was latent, but potential, which is different than "turning vanilla."

For those who see being a D as an immutable aspect of your personality, it's really quite fun to come to see that your personality can be overridden by 40 mgs of chemical. That was humbling and still gives me a bit of pause. If you think it can't happen, it's just more *real* for you somehow, you're likely to hit the mat harder than I did, no more no less, if put in the same situation.

It did test the mettle of my relationships quite a bit, more from my end, feeling horribly guilty that suddenly this awesome package was *not* as advertised in ways out of my control.

I have some backtracking to do, I have some things I have to think about and reinforce now, while I'm healthy, but I'm very lucky that I still have the respect and adoration of my slave and my husband in their differing expressions, and I'm glad that I had built a foundation with at least the flexibility to try and make sure their needs were met to some degree when I couldn't be the one to do it.

< Message edited by Grlwithboy -- 12/25/2006 1:02:33 AM >

(in reply to adaddysgirl)

Post #: 76

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/25/2006 1:11:50 AM

LongArms

Posts: 108
Joined: 1/23/2005
Status: offline

Well said ak! Having been in M/s relationships back in the seventies and then progressing(?) to normal vanilla relationships, I can point back to two failed marriages as proof that we can not change what is basically a primal urge. One marriage even lasted for 17 years. Lots of honest effort went into these relationships. They might have had a better chance if the option was present to take charge and dominate.
Having recently re-entered the life style by taking on a new slave, I can only state that it felt like putting on that old worn favorite pair of jeans. Nothing else seems to fit just right! Me and my slave had a vanilla relationship for the past three years, with all of the recurring problems. I finally found the words to express to her the difference between the relationships. She stated she was interested and agreed to try. It was a rough start, as one would imagine, but now appears to be progressing wonderfully.

To address the OP, I can honestly say that I have gone the extra mile while in a vanilla relationship. I have no doubt that the relationship with kajira will change and evolve over time, but that without the M/s dynamic it would not be possible to exist.

It is possible to paint over the stripes on a tiger, but the stripes still exist and always will for they are a basic part of his being.

(in reply to akbarbarian)

Post #: 77

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/25/2006 6:24:18 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Thank you for sharing that. It was touching.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Grlwithboy)

Post #: 78

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/25/2006 6:55:51 AM

wireweaver

Posts: 120
Joined: 12/18/2006
From: NE.Texas
Status: offline

To be quite honest with you Master, i agree. Our vanilla relationship wasn't worth having. i struggled to get your attention, to no avail. i often found myself longing for you Master, but VERY unhappy with you as you were not taking care of my needs. The M/s changes we have made are working out marvelously. The key seems to be absolute openness with each other. i think you have doubted how serious i was when i said to you i would never marry again, because marriage should have openness and it should go without saying. Rather marriage seems to be more about a financial arrangement. Who cares about the money, the most valuable things in existence cannot be bought.

i still don’t want marriage, it is pointless. This slave wants the real thing or nothing at all as she is quite capable of paying her own way, but can never fulfill herself mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually as you do, but that vanilla thing allows for only money. No need, thanks. Now that I know M/s, i will never be able to really be vanilla again.

i have wanted your entirety for years now, but I have wanted to give you mine also. i love to give and share, that is far more rewarding to me that receiving, but you would not allow me. You held me at a distance until i walked away.
Master i have never wanted to “change” you or “rob” you the way they (wives of the past) did. This slave only wishes to spend her life pleasing you, and can’t figure out why we didn’t shake the façade of the vanilla world several years back

(in reply to LongArms)

Post #: 79

RE: Everything Changes, Nothing Stays The Same - 12/25/2006 7:17:47 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Have you made arrangements for the future economically? Hopefully you work, have a 401k, your own medical insurance... yes money matters when you have none, and long term relationships in which you become a family involve financial concerns. I do not think spouses rip each other off necessarily when the marriage fails, both gave, it is part of the deal. If you are turning down economic opportunities for your master, he dies, leaves, decides you are not the slave for him, well your ass may very well be hanging in the wind. It is one thing to trust, it is another thing to have no insurance for the future at all.

Good luck, and if what I just wrote does not apply to you personally, disregard it, it might apply to someone else that reads this.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to wireweaver)

Post #: 80

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