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RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/30/2006 5:56:14 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: impetuousone
All kidding aside....are we in this to get our way or to serve? Hmmmm.......

One hopes that the answer is always "both."

Although service isn't necessarily what a slave needs or is a primary motivation for a slave, there's also control, obedience, pleasure, and such.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to impetuousone)

Post #: 61

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/30/2006 6:23:15 PM

impetuousone

Posts: 31
Joined: 11/27/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: impetuousone
All kidding aside....are we in this to get our way or to serve? Hmmmm.......

One hopes that the answer is always "both."

Although service isn't necessarily what a slave needs or is a primary motivation for a slave, there's also control, obedience, pleasure, and such.

Both?? What a concept...

To serve isn't what a slave needs? Serving one's Master isn't a primary motivation? Isn't giving up control, being obedient, giving pleasure and such....part of service?

Maybe I should reconsider all of this... I thought to serve was getting what I wanted...

Hmmmm....

_____________________________

A master can tell you what he expects of you. A teacher, though awakens your own expectations.
~Patricia Neal~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 62

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/30/2006 6:26:24 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: impetuousone
Both?? What a concept...

I know.

quote:

To serve isn't what a slave needs? Serving one's Master isn't a primary motivation? Isn't giving up control, being obedient, giving pleasure and such....part of service?

Not necessarily. They can come from very different places within a person.

I am both control and service oriented.

quote:

Maybe I should reconsider all of this... I thought to serve was getting what I wanted...

For you, perhaps it is. That doesn't mean that's what it is for every slave.

And again, one hopes that we are getting exactly what we choose for ourselves to be fulfilled.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to impetuousone)

Post #: 63

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/30/2006 6:27:54 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
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I agree LA.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 64

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/30/2006 6:49:00 PM

impetuousone

Posts: 31
Joined: 11/27/2006
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LA,

I always enjoy and learn from reading your posts. You always have a very interesting perspective, but you lost me on this one when you said, "I am both control and service oriented." I believe on this subject it may be best, in my humble opinion, to leave it at the difference between a pure submissive/slave and a switch/bottom.

_____________________________

A master can tell you what he expects of you. A teacher, though awakens your own expectations.
~Patricia Neal~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 65

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/30/2006 10:37:49 PM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: impetuousone

LA,

I always enjoy and learn from reading your posts. You always have a very interesting perspective, but you lost me on this one when you said, "I am both control and service oriented." I believe on this subject it may be best, in my humble opinion, to leave it at the difference between a pure submissive/slave and a switch/bottom.

"Pure"? That's going to catch hell.

It seems to me that LA is saying that a sub/slave can get what they want from their service, along with other things. I'm not a particularly service-oriented submissive (and I assure you I'm not a switch). I hate chores with a passion. I do them to make my dominant happy and keep our house clean. I am getting what I want whenever he calls me Pet, when he binds my limbs and when grabs my hair and pulls me to him. When I am good (or have a damn good point about something!) I get "my way". He knows when things are important to me and actually enjoys making me happy as well. Why on earth can't you get what you want as well as being a slave? In my submission I realize and accept happily that he gets the last say - but doesn't mean I won't get my way from time to time. But perhaps it is neither my way, or his way, but our way and we both get what we want from it.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to impetuousone)

Post #: 66

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/31/2006 4:12:43 AM

eyesopened

Posts: 2798
Joined: 6/12/2006
From: Tampa, FL
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

So we've finally erased the myth that doms are somehow held to a higher standard than vanillas right? Vanillas at least can be expected to clean up their socks, while doms just can't handle the pressure?

;)

okay, color me stupid but i don't see any reason why a relationship has to be different if vanilla or D/s M/s. i am stupid to serve in a vanilla relationship? i'm a submissive. i'm so dumb that i even ask my boss and other co-workers if they want any coffee when i'm making a trip to the cafeteria at work. i don't allow people to take advantage of me but i sincerely enjoy serving so i serve whether in a D/s relationship or not. i was just saying that if the dirty socks bother her more than him it takes less negative energy to pick them up then make an issue out of it. That's not the same as nagging! He wasn't nagging her to do anything from what i read in the OPs statement.

Look, i know i'm a dinosaur and my opinions are not normal but that doesn't mean they might not have some value.

_____________________________

Proudly owned by InkedMaster. He is the one i obey, serve, honor and love.

No one is honored for what they've received. Honor is the reward for what has been given.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 67

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/31/2006 4:26:30 AM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

So we've finally erased the myth that doms are somehow held to a higher standard than vanillas right? Vanillas at least can be expected to clean up their socks, while doms just can't handle the pressure?

;)

LOLOLOL made my day

but seriously submissive or not I do get my way lol or try to compromise and find a way both parties can go with

but that doesn't mean I never give in

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 68

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/31/2006 8:19:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: eyesopened
That's not the same as nagging! He wasn't nagging her to do anything from what i read in the OPs statement.

Look, i know i'm a dinosaur and my opinions are not normal but that doesn't mean they might not have some value.

Reposted:

I was TEASING (hence the winking face) about the idea that we can expect vanillas to do mundane things like picking up laundry, but somehow doms get a free pass. It was a self-referential ironic statement of humor. Had NOTHING to do with you or your beliefs in service.

Yeesh. Lower your shields and try and take things less personally next time. Winky face = being cute and non serious.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to eyesopened)

Post #: 69

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/31/2006 8:30:09 AM

mrocknj

Posts: 8
Joined: 7/28/2005
From: North Jersey
Status: offline

A true slave doesn't have a "way".

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 70

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/31/2006 9:01:11 AM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mrocknj

A true slave doesn't have a "way".

Oooh, I must not be a "true" slave! I have a "way" and always have.

My "way" was to be honest with myself regarding what I wanted, and what I expected out of a relationship. My "way" was to recognise that I'm here in this relationship - not because it makes him happy, but because it makes ME happy and what makes ME happy just happens to get him off, which makes me happy, which makes him happy, etc...

My "way" was to quit with all the altruistic bs and recognize that if I didn't get things "my way," ultimately, I would end up very dissatisfied with the relationship, dissatisfied with him, and abyssmally dissatisfied with myself. So, I chose wisely. And I got exactly what I wanted - great sex, great bdsm, a friend, a lover, the love of my life even, a colleague (even though we don't work together), and a boss I can respect and emulate.

If I had chosen based on faulty knowledge of myself, I'd have not been happy over time. If I'd chosen based on a faulty representation of myself, I can pretty much guarantee that I'd have realized it along the way and been frustrated. As it is, I chose based on exactly what I wanted and have not been disappointed.

And staying continues to be based on what I expect for myself. My concern isn't "does he do this or that right?" but does what I get for myself outweigh and outrank the difficulties I face from time to time. So far, the answer has been yes. And here I am.

So...in my world, slaves - even us "untrue" ones, definitely have a "way." It just so happens that my "way" and his "way" match in a unique and wonderful *mutual* "way" not unlike in a vanilla relationship. What's different is that my "way" includes service, control, obedience and ultimately, slavery. And if I can't make decisions on the color of a room, and he gets "his way," I get mine in that I get the opportunity for the thrill obedience brings to me.

As far as whether the teak panelling stays or goes,... hell, get a good teak cleaner and some teak oil and see what you really have there. For goodness sake, don't call mnottertail before you do that!! Do you have ANY idea what teak runs these days?!! If he likes it and you hate it, make it work - add a nautical motif.

Green bathrooms - well, I have nothing to say about that beyond time is your friend. Shower in the dark if you need to.

juliet

(in reply to mrocknj)

Post #: 71

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/31/2006 9:07:29 AM

Celeste43

Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline

Not all of us are service oriented. I'm not. Control and emotional transparency float my boat, and his. There are people who are obedience wired, getting off on doing what they're told even while they build up resentment because of problems unsaid. Works for them, not for me.

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 72

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/31/2006 9:12:09 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mrocknj

A true slave doesn't have a "way".

A true slave has no desires, opinions or thoughts of her own? Sounds pretty boring to me. Why would you want to own that?

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to mrocknj)

Post #: 73

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/31/2006 9:14:40 AM

sweetnurseBBW

Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mrocknj

A true slave doesn't have a "way".

true means nothing. a slave has ideals, opinions , wants and desires. My pleasure comes form meeting Master's needs , that is a "way".

< Message edited by sweetnurseBBW -- 12/31/2006 9:16:48 AM >

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Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to mrocknj)

Post #: 74

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/31/2006 9:24:55 AM

kyraofMists

Posts: 3292
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

It just so happens that my "way" and his "way" match in a unique and wonderful *mutual* "way" not unlike in a vanilla relationship.

Your entire post pretty much sums up my thoughts, but I thought this line was worth repeating. My way is his way, even when I have to just bite my tongue and let it go.

Knight's kyra

_____________________________

"Passion... it lies in all of us. Sleeping, waiting, and though unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl. It speaks to us, guides us... passion rules us all. And we obey..." ~Angelus

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 75

RE: How does a slave get her own way? - 12/31/2006 9:32:22 AM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kyraofMists
My way is his way, even when I have to just bite my tongue and let it go.

And while you echo Julia, I need to echo this!

(in reply to kyraofMists)

Post #: 76

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