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Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/28/2006 9:06:50 PM   
mastermargarita


Posts: 30
Joined: 12/11/2006
Status: offline 		Well at the risk of repeating previous posts,  is men that treat women like shit and the women fall all over themselves to be with them.
When I was in college, many years ago, I wrote a paper for a class that explored that concept.  For subjects I observed my friends that were dating, and I noticed that, when the girl was treated crappy she wanted to be with him, and when a girl was treated like a princess, she lost interest and was off to find another. 
When I delved deeper into  them I found that most, not all, but most, had either no father, or a father that was verbally abusive, saying things like; "you are worthless"; "you will never amount to anything", and so whatever self worth or self esteem they had was driven down, deep within them, until they began to believe that they were worthless and it carried on into their adult life.
(A few also believed that they could "save" their boyfriend, make him see the error of their behavior.  However, this wasn't the norm  that I found in observing.)
Believing this was all that they could have, an abusive relationship. 
They actually believe that they don't deserve anything better.  Which brings me to a subgroup within the Slaves.  Pig Sluts.
They literally have no self worth, self esteem.  I have talked with a few I met in chat rooms before joining Collar Me.  Now understand, at first I really thought it was play.  After talking with them and seeing their profiles....its really how they live, which is very different than that of a Submissive or Slave.
They don't want compassion, no love, no caring, just to be used and abused, as their master sees fit.
Whereas, a Submissive and a Slave enters into an agreement, a contract, with their Dom, or Master, and certain aspects of the relationship are discussed prior to collaring. 
Now I am not saying that all Slaves and Submissives have self worth issues.  Not at all.  Most simply love to serve.  Love to be in the caregiver role. To take care of their Dom, and to be taken care of in turn.

Just my thoughts on this....
Take care.
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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 12:54:24 AM   
mgdartist


Posts: 328
Joined: 5/13/2006
From: irving tx
Status: offline 		I once wondered about this issue for a long time, but no longer. It's readily apparent women don't think like men whatsoever, even tho there is another recent thread like this from a woman about men. The consensus reached was that we want what we can't have, and I've heard it said of women even more, However ive always suspected it ran a good deal deeper than just that, and sure enough, after reading this, began to see the truth of the matter. Women are a very complicated component of this species. While its apparent they were created more or less for the benefit of males, one could easily assume the latter, and in fact, as many of them obviously believe, the reverse is in fact the case. Can't say I'd be overly confident of winning a debate to the contrary.

The problem is and always has been our male focus on primarily what's between their legs, but not that that alone leads them to such seemingly irrational behavior as preferring the company of one who "treats them like crap" No, it's the lengths the majority of men are willing to go, hoping to have access to their sex, rather than their minds or accomplishments, which makes them behave thus, which they will invariably be rebelling against when making such a choice. Men are notorious for not doing their homework in order to attain that which they so aggressively hunt, being quick to know  and do everything but such things as they might learn here.
For every enlightened man, there are at least 500 fools, and their continuing legacy puts us all at the disadvantage. Thus I seek to share the wealth, In hopes, at least here, that ratio might drop. And no, one wont find ALL the answers in my meager books, but can at least have someplace to begin, and will hopefully continue to broaden his enlightenment.

The first step, I hesitate to say, is not only to stop resenting the ladies, and then treating them as chattel behind it, but to realize that they are, by and large, far more intelligent than you may give them credit for, and my opinion is, overall, considerably more intelligent than men, Outside the areas of mechanics and other male dominated braintrusts. But in day to day conversation, sentiment, use of language, and in fact almost any area of communication, coping, relating, and interacting, argueing, and realizing their wills, gents, we are badly outclassed, ...yes, even if we be Doms. Fearing them were they anything like us, would be a necessity, but as they are, I believe, appreciating them and adoring them (not with the usual male sexually driven agenda mind you) but just in fact for their advantages, and if nothing else, being the ones who somewhere in the distant past, bore us and gave us life, we as males can begin to glimpse that we must never resent, hurt or use them, cherish and protect them, and think of them as at least our equal, although, strangely enough, so many don't want to be.


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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 1:40:54 AM   
Termyn8or


Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
Status: offline 		Had a buddy name of Jim. He was in his late 50s and had a gf in her mid 30s. She was a hottie except for bad teeth. Rest of her was real nice, and she was fun to be around and everything too, really cool.

Jim was a Man. It was his house and what he says goes. She was a free spirit, free at heart and I think she embraced the control he had over her just as he embraced her. When he found her she was on drugs, stunk and drunk, and I guess he dragged her into the shower or whatever. Two weeks (TWO WEEKS) later he annouced that she is his olady.

IIRC they had knopwn each other before, but were attached at the time.

Anyway, after they were together a while she kept at him to have some fun while gunsmoke was on. That earned her handcuffs, since she was hitting on him. No I don't mean hitting on him I mean physically hitting on him.

The police agreed. They took good careof her and returned her in the morning. He told her the police would be the next ones to take the cuffs of and they did. Threw her in a drunk tank.

He had no remorse, and surprisingly she wasn't pissed either. It was just one of those nights I guess.

Was that treating her bad ? Treating her like crap ? He had rescued this little waif from the sea of humanity.

They were not kinky at all, even when he put handcuffs on her and took her to the police station. I am still waiting for the tapes of that. Got to be some.

He treated her very well, but it was basically "I am the Law here, anybody don't like it leave", and that is the way it was. With everybody. Everybody.

T

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 2:21:04 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		The worst thing you can do when it comes to woman is care. I learnt the hard way and now I don't care. I really don't care anymore. I don't want them around me while I'm working unless its them I'm drawing. I don't want them around when I've got male friends around, they ruin the conversation and hence the company. Women ruin a good drink. Women ruin a good smoke. Women ruin a good football game. They are always telling you about this person or that person (mostly people you don't know), their theories on trivia and the consequences on the insignificant lives of her friends (who you know but don't want to). If you make the mistake in showing any interest in any of this rubbish, you become boring yourself and hence they look elsewhere. The best thing to do is just treat them like the furniture, you'll get blow job after blow job as they try to get your attention or at least until they realise you really do see them as a piece of the furniture. By that time you are bored of them anyway and looking for someone new to occasionally be in your life between drinks with friends and football games.

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 4:23:09 AM   
mgdartist


Posts: 328
Joined: 5/13/2006
From: irving tx
Status: offline 		hmmm, I guess that approach might work sometimes. From the sound of it, I'm guessin you don't give em credit cards, or buy em cars.

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 4:37:42 AM   
meatcleaver


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quote:

ORIGINAL: mgdartist

hmmm, I guess that approach might work sometimes. From the sound of it, I'm guessin you don't give em credit cards, or buy em cars.


Once I did have, in my more naive days. Now its a case of 'can pay, won't pay'.

Ironically, since my retardation to male chauvanist pig from something akin to a 'new man' I've actually been rather more successful with women. It appears from my experience some women like old fashioned chauvanist men, they just don't want to live with them which is fine by me.

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 4:46:58 AM   
FangsNfeet


Posts: 3758
Joined: 12/3/2004
Status: offline 		"Why women fall for men that treat them like crap "

Because most women like to fuck dicks.

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 4:54:39 AM   
MissyRane


Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

The worst thing you can do when it comes to woman is care. I learnt the hard way and now I don't care. I really don't care anymore. I don't want them around me while I'm working unless its them I'm drawing. I don't want them around when I've got male friends around, they ruin the conversation and hence the company. Women ruin a good drink. Women ruin a good smoke. Women ruin a good football game. They are always telling you about this person or that person (mostly people you don't know), their theories on trivia and the consequences on the insignificant lives of her friends (who you know but don't want to). If you make the mistake in showing any interest in any of this rubbish, you become boring yourself and hence they look elsewhere. The best thing to do is just treat them like the furniture, you'll get blow job after blow job as they try to get your attention or at least until they realise you really do see them as a piece of the furniture. By that time you are bored of them anyway and looking for someone new to occasionally be in your life between drinks with friends and football games.


sheeeeeeeez I feel bad now my best friends're dudes and I love hanging with them watching football or over a beer or whateva n I haven't been aware of me ruining anything maybe cuz I like bein one of the boys I don't know but HEY this WAS SO unnecessary *pouts* MEN!!!!  or should I say bitter old men

< Message edited by MissyRane -- 12/29/2006 4:57:05 AM >

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 5:39:21 AM   
MrRodgers


Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
Status: offline 		Many of these women are young, some are going through their bad-boy phase. Some have no other choice because they feel they simply must have a man...any man and thus...just put up with it.

Some...many, I have found here and in the vanilla world, just want a mean ole' daddy and can love him feeling that if daddy isn't mean sometimes...he doesn't love me. Also, many are attracted at first but are soon looking for another because of that kind of treatment they get and while it may not be immediatey visible...are very close to dumping the man. I've seen that too.

Sub/slaves in our world here...many of which simply want to be the object of and the provider of pleasure...and to the extent they provide it...are happy with their use...and only being used for the pleasure of their man...taking pleasure and satisfaction in that. That's not a women falling for a man that treats them like crap...thats a sub/slave pleasing their man...and in everyway they can...inspite of and because of ...how they are treated...and at first...nothing like crap.


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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 6:10:59 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissyRane

or should I say bitter old men


Bitter moi? Naah, just not stupid anymore.

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 6:24:33 AM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

The worst thing you can do when it comes to woman is care. I learnt the hard way and now I don't care. I really don't care anymore. I don't want them around me while I'm working unless its them I'm drawing. I don't want them around when I've got male friends around, they ruin the conversation and hence the company. Women ruin a good drink. Women ruin a good smoke. Women ruin a good football game. They are always telling you about this person or that person (mostly people you don't know), their theories on trivia and the consequences on the insignificant lives of her friends (who you know but don't want to). If you make the mistake in showing any interest in any of this rubbish, you become boring yourself and hence they look elsewhere. The best thing to do is just treat them like the furniture, you'll get blow job after blow job as they try to get your attention or at least until they realise you really do see them as a piece of the furniture. By that time you are bored of them anyway and looking for someone new to occasionally be in your life between drinks with friends and football games.


Sounds like you need to expand your world a bit to include women who don't ruin your experiences...

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 6:37:33 AM   
Serista


Posts: 8
Joined: 9/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

The worst thing you can do when it comes to woman is care. I learnt the hard way and now I don't care. I really don't care anymore. I don't want them around me while I'm working unless its them I'm drawing. I don't want them around when I've got male friends around, they ruin the conversation and hence the company. Women ruin a good drink. Women ruin a good smoke. Women ruin a good football game. They are always telling you about this person or that person (mostly people you don't know), their theories on trivia and the consequences on the insignificant lives of her friends (who you know but don't want to). If you make the mistake in showing any interest in any of this rubbish, you become boring yourself and hence they look elsewhere. The best thing to do is just treat them like the furniture, you'll get blow job after blow job as they try to get your attention or at least until they realise you really do see them as a piece of the furniture. By that time you are bored of them anyway and looking for someone new to occasionally be in your life between drinks with friends and football games.


I am sorry you've had such negative experiences. I firmly believe we get back what we put out in this world. If you don't like the quality of women you are finding, then I recommend changing something about yourself until you do.

As someone happily married to her Master, I will tell you not all women wish to be treated with disrespect. Though he has firm control over me, my Master has always treated me as his partner, his friend and as his beloved. We do everything together and he constantly complains it still isn't enough time. I would never do anything to hurt or disrespect him. Hell, I even miss most of the football games because he would prefer to do other things. ;)

~Seri

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 7:00:17 AM   
Lorelei115


Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline 		~Fast Reply~

I think anyone that manages to stereotype an entire half of the species needs to broaden their horizons a bit. Not all women are looking for someone that treats them like crap. Of course, if they are constantly told that they are worthless, they are all the same, and that they "ruin" all things good and manly, maybe they start feeling like they don't deserve anything better.

Same goes for men. If they are constantly told that they are the stupider half of the species, treated like worthless neanderthals who can't be trusted with responsibility, and are taught that women should be up on pedestals and don't even THINK about trying to touch them 'cause they are so much better than you... well, maybe men start to believe they should be grateful for anything they get.

Male or female, we are all human. Maybe if we stopped treating each other like seperate species, we would start to understand that we are more alike than we are different.


< Message edited by Lorelei115 -- 12/29/2006 7:02:41 AM >

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 7:41:35 AM   
mgdartist


Posts: 328
Joined: 5/13/2006
From: irving tx
Status: offline 		Lol, gotta hand it to ya MC...sure know how to get the ladies to perk up and be sociable...hehehe.

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 7:48:39 AM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		Well, Goddamned if that doesn't work on men too. I've had so much more fun with them when I stopped acting like my world revolved around them, or was even shaken by them in any major way. How nauseating in the long run.

Maybe everyone likes an asshole?  Could it be?


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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 8:35:28 AM   
mastermargarita


Posts: 30
Joined: 12/11/2006
Status: offline 		LOL, there seems to be a lot of debate over this, and thats good.  It's true that men do the same thing.  The more a woman treats the man  badly the harder they work to gain approval.  To me, especially in this lifestyle, I  agree more with what Serista wrote, in that the Subs/Slaves in our charge are treated as equals as far as normal everyday life, yet while keeping firm control over them.  The Subs/Slaves have given us a gift of themselves, in which we are to protect, nurture and at times discipline them.  In return they give us themselves.  Taking care of our needs, wants and desires.  In response to MC, thats why it pays off to find a Sub/Slave, that has some of the same interests as us.  I have found that when you do it does tend to enhance that activity, whether its watching sports on tv, or having friends over.  The same goes for the Sub/Slave(s), when they find someone that they share the same interests, then its not a chore for them to be there.  No complaining...etc...
I'm looking forward to reading more on what everyone has to say, and thanks for taking the time to respond.
Take Care

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 9:00:04 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I would argue that having a sub or slave is inherently more misogynistic than my stance of not caring.

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 9:01:11 AM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		I find that sometimes we accuse one another of not caring or being a jerk whenever disinterest in changing to please the other is exhibited.

Bear in mind, I never got into the "bad boy" thing, it's like someone speaking Swahili to me and going "you understand?"  Maybe they all get it, I never did. I never got bored when being treated *well* but...there's a big difference between a nice guy and just a pussy.

I do get bored when being treated so well that the other person has no boundaries - is incapable of telling me "this doesn't feel good to me" -- even if he/she IS a slave. The sense of personal boundaries likes and dislikes and the *willingness to override/forgo them* is where D/s gets good for me- not just dealing with someone without a spine.

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 9:03:20 AM   
Grlwithboy


Posts: 655
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quote:

ORIGINAL: meatcleaver

I would argue that having a sub or slave is inherently more misogynistic than my stance of not caring.


Not necessarily. I imagine some of us think the idea of a woman who hasn't totally fixated on us to the point of social paralysis handing over control kind of hot. And then being able to smile, dust off, and walk away tall.  It's nice.

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RE: Why women fall for men that treat them like crap - 12/29/2006 9:14:29 AM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Grlwithboy

Not necessarily. I imagine some of us think the idea of a woman who hasn't totally fixated on us to the point of social paralysis handing over control kind of hot. And then being able to smile, dust off, and walk away tall.  It's nice.



It's also all fantasy.

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