Stephann -> RE: Female Dominants (12/29/2006 8:55:41 AM)
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Quite right. I don't suggest that a person is the grand sum of their kinks. In fact, I don't usually judge anyone one way or the other based on how they represent themselves online. The opening poster seems to be frustrated with his search (understandably - I'm pretty darned glad I'm not a semi-wealthy male submissive looking online for a female dominant, as I think I'd end up a nutcase.) His post doesn't distinguish him from the hundreds (dare I say thousands?) of other male submissives in the same boat. It's a bit like watching a die hard Religious Ultra-Conservative Republican and die hard Athiest Ultra-Liberal Democrat going rounds. Neither has much in common, neither willing to discuss a situation with an open mind, both ending up hating the other. So, I'll venture something more constructive. Useandabuse: while no expert, I've found that attracting a woman has nothing to do with either your wallet or your submission anymore than a rich, ultra-submissive, kink oriented slave would have really no appeal for me as a male dominant. Focuse on meeting women, and engaging them in whatever (non-kink related) aspects of your life, such as your interests in music, cooking, skiing. Most of the people online aren't going to be looking for the same thing as you. Reading these forums is a great way to identify people who share your interests. Doing a search based on your favorite activities (i.e. Beatles, skiing colorado, etc) might be a start. You could also branch off into non-BDSM related sites, i.e. normal personals sites. You could suggest something subtle in your profile such as 'I enjoy D/s' or 'I believe in female domination' as well. Obviously, it takes a bit of work and patience to introduce someone vanilla to the lifestyle, but you'll have much better chances finding happiness with a woman when she shares your personal interests - adults tend to enjoy similar kinks with adults when a loving relationship has already been established. In short, focus on the mind, and the rest should come just fine. My apologies for making short work on a topic that I've had frustrate me endlessly in the past.
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