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RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 12/31/2006 11:31:58 AM   
DomKen


Posts: 19457
Joined: 7/4/2004
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: HatesParisHilton

"I would say you speak too confidently for both genders. My humble .02 "

and I'd say I gave my first consentual spanking when you were still in diapers and  from your profile and pic you're a Historical Re Enactor and I've known tons of those so I understand your reply.

kink aside, genrational differences, despite all good intentions, will often have a hold on dialogue such as this one.

How about this then, I've been into bdsm since my late teens and since i'm older than you I'm guessing that must make my opinions right.

I've known women masochists who weren't happy unless they're ass was completely bruised after a spanking, which 100 strokes with a sturdy wooden spoon might accomplish but they usually prefer canes and the like. Which is pretty far past what I'm willing to do to a woman and is past the limits of most of the male dominants I know.

You may be right inside you parochial littel world but in the wider world you're not just wrong but shockingly stupendously wrong.

(in reply to HatesParisHilton)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 12/31/2006 2:00:40 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I term what my Daddy does as "beating" me. I have done so recently on my journal. So perhaps she did not mean it in a bad way.


This would only be an issue if say some thing bad happened to you while with your daddy and your family stumbled on said journal cleaning up your personal effects. Sometimes context can be everything.

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 12/31/2006 2:51:48 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I term what my Daddy does as "beating" me. I have done so recently on my journal. So perhaps she did not mean it in a bad way.


This would only be an issue if say some thing bad happened to you while with your daddy and your family stumbled on said journal cleaning up your personal effects. Sometimes context can be everything.


... whereas if she had said "whipping" in her journal there wouldn't be an issue?

I have a hunch that the journal in question would be likely to provide a generously illuminating amount of context, in any event.

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 12/31/2006 3:09:34 PM   
DominaSmartass


Posts: 961
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: This month? Maryland
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

After all logically speaking a sadist relies on the lack of pleasure their 'victim' takes from pain and humiliation.


WOW! Whose logic  - and WHAT logic are you using? Cause my wonderful sadist absolutely refuses to play with people who merely endure what he hands out. He wants them there, actively participating, enthusiastically enjoying his sadistic ideas and oh yea...getting off on them ain't half bad either.

And if what I am is a "victim," well, color me victimized!!!

By the way, it occurs to me, can someone actually willingly and enthusiastically BE a victim? And does "omg, that hurts so good! PLEASE PLEASE Sir, don't stop!!" constitute a victim's cries?

Just wondering,,,

logically speaking and all...

juliet


I think the person who first posted about the definition of "sadist" was referring to the clinical term. Very few people in the bdsm scene who claim to be sadists would actually be diagnosed as such in the true clinical DSM-IV sense. If you were to go look up the meaning of sadist outside the bdsm community you would see that in fact the statement that indeed, part of the definition is that the sadist must derive pleasure from the pain and unwillingness of the "victim." Considering most of us are in consensual relationships the presence of consent in whatever form it may take negates the reality of someone being a sadist. Now, as for what you want to call yourselves, go ahead and by all means use the term sadist, I do. It works for me within the context of bdsm.

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 12/31/2006 5:02:19 PM   
roprandheels


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/3/2006
Status: offline 		Has it ever dawned on anyone that someone may just be into B/D and not S/M. I have never understood why people think they are  one and the same. We have had problems with this through the years. Do any of you really know the difference?

(in reply to DominaSmartass)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 12/31/2006 7:46:07 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: roprandheels

Has it ever dawned on anyone that someone may just be into B/D and not S/M. I have never understood why people think they are  one and the same. We have had problems with this through the years. Do any of you really know the difference?


Nope. None of us do. Absolutely none of us.

Thank heavens you've arrived.

I think everything is going to be okay now.

(in reply to roprandheels)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 12/31/2006 8:02:01 PM   
stef


Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: roprandheels

Has it ever dawned on anyone that someone may just be into B/D and not S/M.

Look, up in the sky!

It's a bird!

It's a plane!

It's...  Captain Obvious!  Yayyyyyyyy!

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to roprandheels)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 12/31/2006 8:40:28 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I term what my Daddy does as "beating" me. I have done so recently on my journal. So perhaps she did not mean it in a bad way.


This would only be an issue if say some thing bad happened to you while with your daddy and your family stumbled on said journal cleaning up your personal effects. Sometimes context can be everything.


An issue more than any other word to describe what he does with me. If you read my journal ( the reference is on the front page) I talk jokingly of him beating me with soup spoons, and use an emoticon to give even a little more levity to the reference.

My sister knows I like to be spanked hard and bruised (unfortunately). All my references here to my masochism and my adoration of the one that beats me would definitely show how much I enjoy it, and how that is not a reference to an abusive relationship.

Beat me, beat me... just do not tell me no lies

I do not think anything negative about the word at all, and often ask him to beat me ....PLEASE

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to theRose4U)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 12/31/2006 9:58:48 PM   
HatesParisHilton


Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline 		"You may be right inside you parochial littel world but in the wider world you're not just wrong but shockingly stupendously wrong."

That would depend on your personal definition of "parochial".  And "wide".

RE what you posted, julietsierra, LOL, I applaud you via standing ovation.  And yes, that's "you", but I was not speaking of of the people like you that most spankers would cut off their right pinky to meet.  I was speaking on the "odds".  Also, RE "moderate" by your yardstick (spanking pun intended), yes, and I've levied marks/bruising that have lasted that long or in some cases longer.  But again, such is not what could be perceived as the desired ongoing "please teach my ass a lesson" lifestyle of most women whom "identify" as "sub" or even "spankee" in most cases.  Again I stress the word "most".

But thank you truckloads for your post.

Please remember also that my posts are basically a reply and reaction to people finding "woman beaters" and thus hard spanking "disgusting".  They can think that, fine, but in doing so, many of them would have an issue with you, yourself, for taking what they would (according to the initial post) see as "the beating of a woman".

And for spankess that prefer it hard, I find that unfair, thus in my way am commiserating with the author of the thread.

Have a lovely New Year's Eve.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 12/31/2006 10:31:54 PM   
asubmissiveheart


Posts: 462
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		I need a man-beater, any offers?

(in reply to HatesParisHilton)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 1/1/2007 6:15:22 AM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		Hall and Oates?  Best I can do off the cuff.........

Sorry,
Ron


_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to asubmissiveheart)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 1/1/2007 9:05:22 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		It has been my experience that any woman who puts the "woman beater" statement in their profile is either a wannabe, or simply totally ignorant of what the fetish lifestyle is all about.

(in reply to letmecollaryou)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 1/1/2007 6:34:45 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

It has been my experience that any woman who puts the "woman beater" statement in their profile is either a wannabe, or simply totally ignorant of what the fetish lifestyle is all about.


What about the possibility that she simply doesn't want to be hit?

Im with the person above who got mocked for saying that not everyone in this "lifestyle" wants any part of S and M.  I was going to post such a statement myself as I continued to read the responses.
Everyone is assuming that she actually does want the S and M, but she doesn't realize that theres a difference between 'sane' S and M, and "woman beaters".   
Maybe to her, hitting in any context is wrong.  It crosses not a single person's mind that maybe she longs to be submissive without getting slapped, whipped, hit, beaten, smacked etc etc.  I dont think this makes her anything other than a person who doesn't wish to be hit.  How she makes that statement is her own choice.  The right person for her will understand why she dislikes it and will immediately resonate with her statement.  How does this make her ignorant or a wannabe?



_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 1/1/2007 6:41:45 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

And the fact is that plenty of doms really are unhealthy and abusive dumbasses who will use their authority to use physical violence as an excuse for "beating" someone.



I wouldn't call these people "doms" nor "tops" nor "master/mistress" nor any other title or role in BDSM.

I'd call them abusers or rapists who have found a subculture they can try to manipulate so they can find more victims. My sister had the misfortunate to be with one of these and it has almost destroyed her ability to accept my life because of it. I do not accept any abuser laying claim to BDSM or SM or leather.

Yes this is one of my huge beliefs that will not be changed by any amount of smooth talking in the world.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 1/1/2007 6:47:09 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mnottertail

Hall and Oates?  Best I can do off the cuff.........

Sorry,
Ron


I'm scaring myself because not only did I 'get' it, it made me laugh!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 1/1/2007 6:58:26 PM   
MissBabydoll


Posts: 62
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Noah


quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation
...
After all logically speaking a sadist relies on the lack of pleasure their 'victim' takes from pain and humiliation.

Patently false.

(this has been a public service announcement)



It's rare that I find myself agreeing with a maledom about much of anything, but I am down with this. I'm a Sadist in the DSSM community sense of the term--that is, I enjoy inflicting pain and humiliation, but only on submissives who want it and consent to it. I use safewords, and if I slip up and cause harm I feel completely wretched about it. (For example, when it comes to ass-beating with whatever implement, welts don't count as harm in My book, serious bruises are iffy--but broken skin, banged bones, and deep or connective tissue damage are non-safe, whether the sub wants them or not, and I won't do those things on purpose.) The clinical definition of a sadist, as noted elesewhere in these posts, is someone who is aroused by the victim's fear and *unwillingness* and genuine misery. That's a sick fuck, not a responsible Player-with-cruelty, which is what I try to be. God knows there are enough of them around: other than scumbags who dope women with rufies or whatever and then fuck them, most rapists are sadists in this clinical sense.

(in reply to Noah)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 1/1/2007 7:17:50 PM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		marie,
I do understand your point that some women may be into BD but not SM; and I agree with that completely.

I prefaced my statement with "It has been my experience....." Because it has been my experience when I have gone on to communicate with any woman who uses the "woman beater" statement, through our conversations invariably it became clear to me they had no real understanding of the lifestyle. They did believe that if you were into SM, you were going to be abused. I have had this kind of discussion several times.

I have also had many discussions with experienced subs who were not into pain, and they would usually use that word or another word used within the lifestyle, like "I'm not into corporal". Never has one of them used woman beater. Woman beater is an inflamatory phrase that is synonymous with nonconsensual abuse. I find it hard to believe that anyone, with at least some experience in the lifestyle, would ever use that term.

Sir Dominic

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 1/1/2007 7:18:18 PM   
emergencynurse3


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/27/2006
Status: offline 		The word 'beat' can be an emotive one...it means different things to different people and is dependent upon context.  Granted. maybe the submissive could have chosen her language with more care...or..maybe just maybe she was stating a view which originated from her own understanding or lack of it.  Having previously been in an abusive relationship..it took me a looooong time to get my head around the fact that I enjoy aspects of SM..again, for me personally, theres a whole world of difference from abuse and consentual impact play/scening (choose your description of choice)...I guess in some ways its still something I am working on because I can enjoy a flogging or a 'beating' with an implement and there are definitely times when I want to be 'beaten' but to be spanked with any sort of intensity..still has the potential to send me off into a bad head space. Yes I know its illogical etc..but its gone 3 am here and my brain stopped functioning properly hours ago..lol.  Its all to do with consent and intent I guess.

Take care and be well A/all and may the New Year bring all that Y/you wish.

Edited to add....this is not in response to anyone imparticular..sorry..tis one of the first times I have posted on the boards..and my talent for killing technology seems to have expanded to not working the posting system out properly yet..

< Message edited by emergencynurse3 -- 1/1/2007 7:22:32 PM >

(in reply to MissBabydoll)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 1/1/2007 7:38:45 PM   
letmecollaryou


Posts: 28
Joined: 11/3/2006
Status: offline 		Vow well said sirdominic...that is the core of it...I would like to add that any person who does not have any knowledge of schooling, will certainly stop a teacher from punishing his student for his misdoings and will call him"child beater". In the context of lifestyle and this site(CM) use of such words(women beaters) in profiles indicates lack of knowledge as rightly put by sirdominic.When I look outside lifestyle, i find this most fitting word for the people who abuse and beat women  without their consent & not for sexual gratification but to satisfy their ego.Morever in lifestyle an understanding is arrived at before hand which serves the interst of both persons in driving pleasure.The means of driving pleasure are countless , pain is certainly one of them and beating is an essential part of it.That is why i took notice of this word(women beaters)which was posted in a profile of a female submissive.I agree to the point reflected in most of the responses here that some submissives are not into pain as they do not drive pleasure out of it, that is fine but do they have any right to abuse people who drive pleasure out of pain?No,not at all ....that is why i used the word "disgusting"in subject matter.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: huh... women beaters..disgusting# - 1/1/2007 8:15:25 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

marie,
I do understand your point that some women may be into BD but not SM; and I agree with that completely.

I prefaced my statement with "It has been my experience....." Because it has been my experience when I have gone on to communicate with any woman who uses the "woman beater" statement, through our conversations invariably it became clear to me they had no real understanding of the lifestyle. They did believe that if you were into SM, you were going to be abused. I have had this kind of discussion several times.

I have also had many discussions with experienced subs who were not into pain, and they would usually use that word or another word used within the lifestyle, like "I'm not into corporal". Never has one of them used woman beater. Woman beater is an inflamatory phrase that is synonymous with nonconsensual abuse. I find it hard to believe that anyone, with at least some experience in the lifestyle, would ever use that term.

Sir Dominic


Dominic:

I understand completely what you're saying.  Your point is well-taken. 

I guess I kind of saw her taking a 'beating' here,  for not wanting a beating.

I guess its like saying "shit-eaters need not apply" instead of saying "no scat players please".  Sorry for the graphics, but I think I'm mirroring back your point here with a good analogy.

Thanks for the gracious reply.

marie.


_____________________________

marie.


I give good agita.









(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 60
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