quote:

ORIGINAL: scottjk

Do I have to turn my back on this lifetyle and my search until I present the 'ideal' of a dom?

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ORIGINAL: LadyLolly

There seems to be many ADD/ADHD people in the life, myself included - just like any other "category" - we're people.  The hyperintensity can be a very good thing but the problems of getting one's sh*t together is something I personally feel needs to be addressed before knowingly dragging someone else into it.  Yes, our partners can impart  compensation for and balance out our short commings and gifts with thier own.  A strong 1 + 1 can equal 3.   If your life is in disarray, shouldn't your focus, energies and attention be directed towards straightening it out rather than seeking the escape, distraction and diversion of subs/slaves?   The worst disservice we can do is to seek out and attempt to use another as a crutch for our own short commings.   By all means, learn, enjoy, meet people, play but before considering taking responsibility on for another it is prudent and only fair to have your own life together.  Not perfection, not wealthy, nothing necessarily that others might consider exceptional - but learn to compensate, manage with or without medication as apropriate, yourself.  Don't seek to control others as compensation for not being able to control yourself and your life.  And yes, some degree of stability is a positive sign that you have managed to get it together.  Few get through life without having challanges, adversity and getting the rug jerked out from under us on occassion.  It's how we deal with it that reflects on our character.  You're working on getting a handle on yourself and your challanges - great, good for you. Does having ADD/ADHD itself preclude your fitness as a Dominant?  No, but not having your own life in some fair degree of order, regardless of the cause or source, should as a matter of ethics keep you from seeking to enter into a relationship where others are dependent on your lead and judgment.

Late on the thread but I hope the thoughts and information to follow help. 

There is a Dr. Amen (think the spelling is correct) that has done research and studies in identifying the 6 types of ADD/ADHD and combinations.  Hard to diagnose true enough and medications thrown at you and tried  to "see" if this works.  Amen's wife and children are all ADD.  He did studies with dye and activities documenting brain patterns both natural and with a variety of medications  - for before and after "pictures"  of cause and effectiveness of medical treatment.  His work may be of some help in determining the needed medical treatment to correct the actual brain function deficientcies. 

And yes, undiagnosed, we do tend to try to self medicate and as a consequence do have greater tendancy towards substance abuse.  And yes, the frustrations of blindy trying to deal throughout life can also have psychological repercussions that need to be resolved as well. Get strong and right in yourself.  Gather tools that can be used to compensate and help correct.  There is a quality to life to be achieved and enjoyed once we can stop beating ourselves up for screwing it up.   Hang in there - frustration is no stranger but you're on the right path, just don't spare the post it notes to keep on it <G>.

Best wishes,

LL

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ORIGINAL: Aswad

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ORIGINAL: scottjk

I'm still confused about the difference between psychologists and psychiatrists,

A psychiatrist is a doctor that specializes in treating the mind.
A psychologist is a somewhat glorified counceller.
I hope that has dispelled the confusion.

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ORIGINAL: Aswad

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ORIGINAL: scottjk

I'm still confused about the difference between psychologists and psychiatrists, but I'll work it out.

A psychiatrist is a doctor that specializes in treating the mind.
A psychologist is a somewhat glorified counceller.
I hope that has dispelled the confusion.

Health,
al-Aswad.

quote:

The simplest way to describe the difference between them is that a psychologist primarily aids the depressed patient by counseling and psychotherapy. A psychiatrist may also perform psychotherapy; but, in addition, can prescribe medications and perform ECT (electroconvulsive therapy). A psychiatrist is a medical doctor. A psychologist may hold a doctoral degree (Ph.D.) and be called "doctor"; but, is not a medical doctor (M.D.).

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ORIGINAL: scottjk

Oh, don't I know it.
Based on what I've discovered, those that have been on stimulants as children appear to be less likely to abuse substances. However, the flip side is that those that have never been treated tend to 'self medicate', usually with stimulants, like coffee, smokes, cocaine, meth, alcohol, etc. They're the higher risk group. But... it's kind of a oxymoron, are those that self medicate abusing drugs or are they trying to treat themselves without knowing it? If they're treated for thier disorder with stimulants, will the addiction continue, abate or vanish? Are they addicted if stimulants are what the body needs to function properly? (Diabetes for instance, if you take insulin, is it an addiction or medicine?)

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ORIGINAL: Aswad

quote:

ORIGINAL: scottjk

I'm still confused about the difference between psychologists and psychiatrists, but I'll work it out.

A psychiatrist is a doctor that specializes in treating the mind.
A psychologist is a somewhat glorified counceller.
I hope that has dispelled the confusion.

Health,
al-Aswad.

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ORIGINAL: MRandme

i have been reading this post with an intense amount of interest, as i hadn't thought of my coffee/cola habit as self-medication before.

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ORIGINAL: scottjk

Some of you have seen some of my postings. Some of you I respect, some I find down-right goofy. :)

I have a confession and I have a really serious question.

I am ADHD, and I'm having a hell of a time with it. In fact, I'm having self esteem issues because of it.

Here's some background.

It's been undiagnosed most of my life. The outdated diagnosis has been Hyper-activity.

Some of the problems involved with undiagnosed ADHD include social isolation, failed relationships, repeated job failures and so on. Even post-education is a major issue. Learning on our own is a monumental roadblock for us, depending on the type of ADHD (there are six basic types, by the way)

I'm seeking help, and that isn't easy either. <chuckle> The paradox for ADHD people is actually getting to our appointments on a regular basis. Trust me, it's more than a challange! :) I'm hoping that once I start getting to those appointments, life will improve. (Talk about a prayer that NEEDS an answer)

In spite of all this, I consider myself exceptionally empathic, have a strong sense of honor and responsibility and I know, without any doubts, I'm dominant. However, that creates a paradox within myself.

Here's the paradox. A dominant is more than a sadistic streak. Far, far more, as I'm sure you all will agree. There's an enormous amount of responsibility involved. But because I'm ADHD and struggling with life in general, I have serious doubts in being a provider of security, a trait that all subs and slaves desire in spades.

Honestly? Failure is a part of my life in respect of being a provider of security. I'm trying to change that, but does that mean that I must reject d/s relationships until I (gods I hate this term) "master myself"?

Do I have to turn my back on this lifetyle and my search until I present the 'ideal' of a dom?

If not, how do I present myself as a dom while I'm struggling with all this?

Gang, I'm at the end of my rope. I'm an honest and loving man in search and I just don't know how to present myself as a viable dom and I have doubts that I can.