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RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 2:33:56 PM

blushingflower

Posts: 144
Joined: 10/11/2006
Status: offline

quote:

Bfero wehn tihs sujbect hsa cmoe up , I have wrtten like tihs and I bte everynoe hrre can nuderstand what I hvae wrtten.
I dno't let Myeslf be al thta bohtered by someones tpying or speling. Threr are othre tings taht bug my more in camunicasion on the net than speling or tipois.

Honestly, that would probably drive me nuts, but I'd forgive it the first time. My old college roommate is a terrible speller and I've chatted with her enough online that it doesn't bother me that much. It's that I don't feel I should have to put more effort into understanding what you've written than you've put into composing it. And it's more things like "U want 2 play?" without any more follow up or any effort to get to know me or tell me about the writer that drives me crazy. If you're going to send me a thoughtless, one-sentence email, at least make it a complete sentence with all the words spelled out.

(in reply to brightspot)

Post #: 41

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 2:36:52 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

I have a bit of a problem with it. I can ignore the odd typo or grammatical mistake but when it is done over and over again, yes, it does effect the way in which I view the person. That's not to say that I don't make mistakes, of course I do...everyone does, but I try to present myself (via the written word) in the best light and I appreciate those who do the same.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 42

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 2:43:44 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

FR. Once more into the breach, dear friends. I'll go against the prevailing wind: I do judge people by their ability to communicate, and as the only means of communication on here is through the written word (I'll discount "smileys"), yes, I do let their (your) writing shape my opinion of you. I am drawn to intelligence, and notwithstanding julietsierra's defense of bad spellers, in my experience, poor grammar, sloppy thinking and bad spelling are not signs of intelligence.

What I find interesting is that some of the best writers on here (SweetDommes, julietsierra and TammyJo come to mind) are people who self-identify as being dyslexic, and could be flummoxed by the written word, yet their writing is clear, pithy and a pleasure to read. They apparently overcome their disabilities. In contrast, there are, on these boards, many who write incomprehensible notes filled with sloppy thinking, bad grammar and spelling errors (not typos, mind you, but the actual inability to spell) and then routinely excuse their incoherency by claiming dyslexia or some other learning disability.

I note julietsierra, toservez, julia, Susan all talk about "excusing" the poor grammarian and sloppy speller, yet their posts are routinely lucid. WorldofSilence is clear and concise, writing in a "language" that is foreign to him and with a disability, should he choose to invoke it, that would allow him to post gibberish. All are tolerant (so they say) of the misspelling miscreant. They are better souls than I (this is not news, by the way).

I am an old fuddy-duddy prescriptivist who makes his living by the written word, and I consider the ability to communicate in writing significant. Clarity is critical. Brevity is prized. Good grammar and proper spelling are not acheivements, they are expected. A touch of grace and humor is magical, and welcome. I'm probably totally unfair in considering how well someone writes in her profile and/or on these boards in determining my interest. I'm probably missing out on the sub of my life by discounting the unreadable blather, but...I don't think so.

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to blushingflower)

Post #: 43

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 2:51:26 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Hah! I doubt if you are "missing out on the sub of your life" and I'm not surprised you feel the way you do. Truth be told, I prolly feel more your way than how I expressed it, but I've been flamed more than once about my rigid stance on grammar and spelling. Like I said, I make mistakes, but I try very hard to write clearly and concisely.

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 44

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:02:55 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

If the grammar and spelling is really bad, I tend to bypass the post. It makes my head hurt to have to try and figure it out. Sometimes if there are responses to that person and i need more background to figure it out, i'll go back to the hard to read post for a better idea but that's pretty rare.

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 45

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:03:03 PM

HatesParisHilton

Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

in script writing there is the term "too much black", which means where you should have - say - four or five paragraphs, you have instead a bulk of text over 20 lines long. This bugs the shit out of me.

Chatspeak/mobile ph. textspeak bugs the shit out of me. Not out of any pedantic irritation; basically the people that indulge in such are never that communicative in any format, including face-to-face conversation. It's similar to someone that (face to face) makes a statement that would amount to, "Yes, I went to the party, and no, I was not intending to sleep with anyone, but I met a guy that was hot enough that I reconsidered." But what you hear from them is ~

"So, I was like, at this like, Party and stuff? And it was all, I dunno, like a play party or whatnot, and I was like, 'Oh I'm not really, like, looking to hook up or whatever', but liKe, there was this total hottie who was like, Ashton Kutcher and made me all, like, like him. I don't mean the 'kinda like him' like, I mean, like, the 'LIKE like him' like. And I was all 'ready' or whatever. So I like, did him and like, I really liked doing that, so like I guess I'm okay with it."

The above was something I overheard and presented as verbatum as my memory's accuracy permits.

After listening to her, my cock was soft for DAYS.

< Message edited by HatesParisHilton -- 1/3/2007 3:07:54 PM >

_____________________________

I am (now) "Hiltie", hear me ROARRRRR! And have a cuffy cake, they're nice.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 46

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:04:21 PM

redbottombonanza

Posts: 8
Joined: 12/17/2006
Status: offline

Dearest Emperor,

I couldn't agree with you more. I guess we are two fish swimming upstream together. I too, judge those who send me poorly written, thought out, and misspelled messages. It taints my view almost from the beginning. As a student of languages I do, however, give special considerations to those whose first language is not English. I cringe to think about the comments made about my foriegn correspondence. Typos are precisely that....typing errors. Most of the time these can be easily spotted. It is when the general tone of the message is incoherent and poorly written that I tend to turn off.

redbottom

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 47

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:16:28 PM

Emperor1956

Posts: 2370
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

In the time it took me to compose my post above, bandit25, Adrenochrome and blushingflower all posted lucid posts saying what I was saying. And after, there have been several comments by souls of a similar nature (hello, redbottomb.) Maybe all is not lost! Come, prescriptivists and UNITE! We have nothing to lose, and perhaps more red pencils to gain.

BTW, have any of you read "Eats Shoots and Leaves" by Lynne Truss? I love this book. The sub-title says it all: "The zero-tolerance approach to punctuation."

E.

_____________________________

"When you wake up, Pooh," said Piglet, "what's the first thing you say?"
"What's for breakfast? What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?"
Pooh nodded thoughtfully.
"It's the same thing," he said.

(in reply to redbottombonanza)

Post #: 48

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:17:18 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

What I find interesting is that some of the best writers on here (SweetDommes, julietsierra and TammyJo come to mind) are people who self-identify as being dyslexic, and could be flummoxed by the written word, yet their writing is clear, pithy and a pleasure to read. They apparently overcome their disabilities. In contrast, there are, on these boards, many who write incomprehensible notes filled with sloppy thinking, bad grammar and spelling errors (not typos, mind you, but the actual inability to spell) and then routinely excuse their incoherency by claiming dyslexia or some other learning disability.

Aw, thank you.

I know have grammar problems and spelling errors. How I use my punctuation may not be completely correct. Sometimes it can be a real downer but I have to work with what I have. When folks pick on me for these issues I figure it is likely because they can't think of other things to pick on me about -- geesh, I could think of lots of things myself.

Thank you so much, Emperor 1956, because when folks say this about my writing it reassures me that I'm doing ok with my written communication. That means a lot to me.

*HUG*

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 49

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:33:24 PM

innatedesire

Posts: 111
Joined: 8/21/2006
Status: offline

For myself it is very important, it is my first impression of them. I was raised to believe that you only get one chance to make a good first impression, take the time and effort to make it a good one.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 50

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:38:24 PM

TypeAsub1

Posts: 65
Joined: 12/10/2006
Status: offline

It matters. This is a media in which people interact through the written word. How I perceive someone will be determined by how they communicate to me. I wouldn't immediately disregard someone due to a spelling, grammar or punctuation error. However, certain errors are telling (using dominate instead of dominant, for instance) and many errors are also a concern. I will, however, first look at what is being said. If I find that the person is communicating an interesting idea or is taking the time to share something of value.. I will attempt to draw conclusions based on the ideas, rather than the accuracy of the typing or grammar.

In the end, however, I do look for people who take pride in doing something well. If someone isn't learning disabled and simply doesn't take the time to attempt to communicate well (whether written or verbal), I will not enjoy communicating with them. Words are fuel for thoughts, dreams, hopes and everything our imagination can create. In my experience, people who use words well, are often very alluring in other respects...

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 51

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:46:59 PM

SDFemDom4cuck

Posts: 2809
Joined: 5/23/2005
From: P'burgh PA
Status: offline

I have to agree with Emperor1956 on this as well. There is a big rant in my journal regarding this very thing.

Yesterday I found a note in my inbox that was full of text speak and horrible spelling. Add to it that there was absolutely no punctuation, not a single period or comma, and you've got a hot mess of an email response. I couldn't even get beyond the second line of a four paragraph note without shuddering and deleting. The person writing it claimed to be an egzecqutive (sp intended) for a Fortune 100 company. I did pull up their profile to see if they were ESL or from another country; they were from the US and claimed to have an Ivy League education. Their profile was just as riddled with punctuation, grammatical and spelling errors. Great first impression!

Let's face it, the first note is the opportunity to make a great first impression. If someone can't bother to take the time to use spell check in another document and then copy/paste to their email then how sincere can they be to impress? Yes, I do know spell check isn't perfect. I don't claim to be perfect nor do I claim to never make a mistake. I've ended a sentence or three with a dangling participle. (Gasp) I've missed a grammatical error here and there, and depending on how many hours of sleep I've had, there could be a typo. For the most part, I do proofread my posts and replies prior to sending them.

I'm not so particular that I'm going to judge someone over their use of a semicolon vs a comma. However, I do expect them to use a period here and there to separate a thought. The use of text speak and shortcuts (to me) tell me they can't be bothered to make an effort. That isn't the person I want to train or be served by regardless. Seriously, how difficult is it to write the word "you" rather than U? It has become so prevalent that I don't even bother to reply to notes written in such a manner.

*Jumps off soapbox and stomps it to bits*

_____________________________

Ms Jo

She dealt her pretty words like Blades -
How glittering they shone -
And every One unbared a Nerve
Or wantoned with a Bone -

I want a sensitive man - one who'll cry when I hit him.

(in reply to DominaSmartass)

Post #: 52

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:50:47 PM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

     When I joined CM it took about a month for me to post on the boards because there were so many flaming incidents towards bad spellers/composers/typists.
    As to whether it makes a difference to me, that depends. Is the writer just lazy? Or is there a genuine difficulty that prevents proper writing techniques? My ex was severely dyslexic & I am understanding/supporting to those that struggle with the written word.
    I see a huge difference between ESL, dylexia etc and just being lazy. There are a few posters here that I don't spend much time translating because it is pretty obvious they are not even trying to use a spell checker and they write at a nearly unintelligible  level. A few words spelled incorrectly are not a big deal, but a post filled with them are a sign of laziness to me. It only takes moments to spell check, if in doubt compose it elsewhere..proofread.. then copy/paste here.
    After all, this is based on written communication.

(in reply to TypeAsub1)

Post #: 53

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:50:59 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

Thank you for the compliment regarding my writing Emperor. However, my only disability in this area (if it considered a disability) is that I formulate what I want to say better in writing than I do verbally. I am not dyslexic but I have people I am very close to that are, and I see the prejudice that they deal with on a daily basis because of their disability. While my only real disability is a significant case of near-sightedness which is correctable through glasses, I am very definitely a member of the community of people and their families who count amongst the disabled, and I am continually amazed at the arrogance of those who are fortunate enough to not have disabilities in their lives.

What I do have is a career in which I see the damage that the all-vaulted perfectionists enact on those who, through no fault of their own can't spell and can't write. I see the effects of those holier-than-thou folks who can't be bothered with the insignificant beings on a daily basis both at work and when I come home at night.

Whether this is a medium in which the written word is other people's image of us or not, when someone complains that taking a moment to read what someone else has written, albiet with more grammatical and spelling errors than other folks make, hurts their brain, I can't help thinking that perhaps they'd be better served by exercising that brain a bit more along the way rather than complaining about the effort.

The accusation of insult is no different when it's directed at someone NOT using the self-professed exemplary brain they were given than it is when directed at people who, for one reason or another , through no fault of their own, can't spell. And I don't buy the "I was just sayin" argument when people make claims that they find distateful that there are some "grown adult(s) who [don't] know how to spell words we learned in elementary school." An insult is an insult is an insult, and if someone with that so-called exemplary brain feels insulted that someone is taking them to task for holding someone else "distasteful" due to their disability, then personally, if the shoe fits... and "I'm just saying.." says it all.

juliet

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 54

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:54:06 PM

KinkyNFun

Posts: 6
Joined: 1/2/2007
Status: offline

n

< Message edited by KinkyNFun -- 1/3/2007 3:57:14 PM >

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 55

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:57:02 PM

HatesParisHilton

Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

Roaring in laughter at KinkyNFun's post!

_____________________________

I am (now) "Hiltie", hear me ROARRRRR! And have a cuffy cake, they're nice.

(in reply to KinkyNFun)

Post #: 56

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:58:16 PM

ADomDoc

Posts: 312
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: San Antonio
Status: offline

I see both sides of the problem. My English spelling was competitive grade before I spent time in Europe & found how phonetic German is. When I came back, I was ruined. Now I have to struggle on some words that used to be automatic, because I can use different spellings of the same word, all correct in different languages.

On top of that, my last long-term slave was rated (by a professor of psychology who did research on dyslexia) as "singularly the most dyslexic person" she'd met. But I respected that slave's compensation for her weakness by using a spelling checker & a dictionary. To us, the fact that a website didn't have a built-in spelling checker was no excuse for not using one; it was just an added step. In my experience, many dyslexics demonstrate higher than average intelligence; most have developed clever mechanisms to compensate in daily life.

OTOH, I've a doctor friend who is horrendously dyslexic and he's put all the misspellings into his spelling checker. When he writes me a notes, I share them with friends. We treat them as logic puzzles & see who can figure them out first. And it's not only his spelling, it's also his horrendous grammar & mucky thinking. How he ever got his doctorate, I'll never know -- but somehow he passes as a talented physician. He did have me write an insurance narrative report for him once when he was obviously in over his head.

I think we can all recognize a typo & most of us overlook them until they become pervasive; then they just become disrespectful sloppiness. The facility of word processors also has brought with them a new problem that didn't exist previously. It's easy to cut & paste, and sometimes a clipping gets pasted into the wrong place & makes gibberish out of the previous sentence. We all think we have put it into the right place & don't always re-read the whole sentence to double check ourselves.

CHAT has also diminished the ability of many to communicate in complete sentences. I ignore one line emails. If a person can't express more than one thought in an email, then I have no interest in them. Letters used to be a work of art. Chat is lazy & sloppy.

I DO judge people by how fluently they write but I am a forgiving of obvious dyslexia & the odd typo.

< Message edited by ADomDoc -- 1/3/2007 4:10:09 PM >

(in reply to Emperor1956)

Post #: 57

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 3:59:10 PM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline

Maybe I see it as using good manners? I would be turned off by someone chewing with their mouth open and wiping their face with their sleeve.

*edited to add the seemingly required IMO bit*

(in reply to blushingflower)

Post #: 58

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 4:05:17 PM

julietsierra

Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KinkyNFun
I definitely pay attention to how a woman handles herself in this medium....I have found that a woman who does not have a handle on how to spell correctly usually is tremendous at deep throating...Whereas a woman who tends to suffer from run on sentences has a hard time "self" lubricating and tends to have a smell of old cabbage emanating from her go-go hole. No true imperical research to substantiate these sophomoric claims....need to find a new hobby.

lol...And then there are those of us who don't smell of cabbage, or have self-lubricating issues; who can spell well AND deep throat; who write long but not necessarily run-on sentences (we use commas well and semi-colons are our friends) who, like the English language, are exceptions to the rule - even when the "rule" has no actual research beyond the anecdotal to back it up.

juliet

(in reply to KinkyNFun)

Post #: 59

RE: Judging someone online by the quality of their comm... - 1/3/2007 4:08:15 PM

HatesParisHilton

Posts: 3513
Joined: 12/27/2006
Status: offline

hah hah, Kinky deleted but got caught/sprung anyway!

_____________________________

I am (now) "Hiltie", hear me ROARRRRR! And have a cuffy cake, they're nice.

(in reply to julietsierra)

Post #: 60

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