RE: Doormats - Can we eliminate them?

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RE: Doormats - Can we eliminate them? - 1/29/2007 6:41:24 AM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RavenMuse

quote:

ORIGINAL: gooddogbenji
Has anyone met a doormat in BDSM, or wants to meet one?

Yes, several and nope they where NOT what I wanted (Which seemed to really confuse the poor girls). In each case I did try to give them a few pointers as to why I didn't find 'doormat' either healthy nor actualy desirable in a slave. If they ever listened and acted on that to stop being a doormat I am not sure as most I never saw again.... so far (Sods law, I'll run into a number at the next event I go to now I have said that LOL)

I'm a bit of a doormat, and having been told that I was told I was 'too submissive' I can't help but chuckle at the potential paradox here because, well, its just one of those things that make me chuckle. Telling a 'doormat' to stop being a doormat, and expecting them to listen and change is only reinforcing the very behavior thats problematic. Its like ordering someone to stop following orders.

I'm not saying that this is what you did. Your comment just reminded me of the paradox. When I was told I was too submissive, I more or less ignored the comment (if I was that submissive I would have stopped being too submissive) and it wasn't too long after that that the relationship ended. In all honesty, I think its a compatibility issue.

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RE: Doormats - Can we eliminate them? - 1/29/2007 8:45:08 AM

happypervert

Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline

quote:

When I was told I was too submissive, I more or less ignored the comment

Ignoring the comment means you aren't sub enough.

heh

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RE: Doormats - Can we eliminate them? - 1/29/2007 9:12:37 AM

RavenMuse

Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gypsygrl
In all honesty, I think its a compatibility issue.

Quite, which is why I wasn't interested enough to want to take on the responcibility of changing them.... they didn't spark that drive to take them as Mine in that way. My comments where a result of their confusion about why I didn't.... they knew I am on the TPE end and wrongly assumed therefore that a doormat would be right up My strazza. Wether they did change or not... I couldn't care, but I was being asked how THEY would need to change in order for someone of My ilk to find them attractive enough to want to Own them and work with them. Hence the comments.

Edit: Oh and I never said they where "Too submissive".... Submission is a will to please the individual who Dominates..... not a blanket lack of spine! Being compliant to everybody regardless of who they are.... personaly I see that as weakness, not submission at all.

< Message edited by RavenMuse -- 1/29/2007 9:14:45 AM >

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