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RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/8/2007 4:04:47 PM   
twistedwillow


Posts: 546
Joined: 11/23/2006
Status: offline 		Regardless of what kind of sub\slave you are, your still deserving of respect, and especially in the early stages.  I personally don't feel that  downloading yahoo and having some small talk on there,  makes you instantly her sub... and i'd be wary of any one who asked for money straight up.

good luck in your search for your Domme

twistedwillow

(in reply to brafox)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/8/2007 4:15:04 PM   
planomaid


Posts: 77
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		Does a submissive have rights?  Yes.  Everyone does - dominant, submissive, switch, etc.  You make a choice every time you choose to be with someone.  A submissive or slave makes a choice to be with their dominant every day, just as a dominant makes a choice to remain with their submissive or slave.  Both roles and genders have the ability to take advantage of, or conversely, to be taken advantage of.  You, the person, need to decide what is in your own best interest.  If you do not have the ability to do that, then you should really think about leaving the lifestyle until you can.  Ultimately you must be responsible for yourself first and foremost.

Based on what you have said in your messages, it sounds like this is an invented issue.  You state that you are a money slave, so you obviously have some idea of the roles and issues dealing with the lifestyle.  I'm not going to slam you for the post, but if you have a questions about the lifestyle you should post them.  But it would be nice if you just came out and were honest about your background.  We get enough drama posts here as it is.

Take care

(in reply to brafox)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/8/2007 4:49:57 PM   
thetammyjo


Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: brafox

Recently I messaged a domme who i had never spoke to before and told her a litttle about me. She immediately had me download yahoo messenger and I did as she asked. Am I at that point supposed to do everything she says simply because I am a sub and she is a domme? Do I not have the right to submit to whom I wish? Respectful at all times, absolutely, but does a domme expect a sub to do as she says simply because we are engaged in a conversation? Please help, I hope I am not wrong in this case. She was angry with me immediately for not doing as she said, but I don't feel I obligated myself to her.


*frown*

I'm so surprised that with all the available non-fiction information out there today that this is even a question.

You may have submissive feelings, you may even identify as a submissive, but you are no one's submissive until you have agreed to be.

Of course given that you so easily followed one "order" it will seem odd if you stop. I strongly suggest saying "good bye" to that one and try someone else, maybe someone with a bigger grasp of reality and living the 21st century.

Yeah, I had a bad day and I'm not feeling so understanding of folks who pull this stuff of playing power games non-consensually with newbies. I'm not pissed at you, brafox, I'm pissed that someone thinks she can be your god before you've agreed to it.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to brafox)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/8/2007 5:01:52 PM   
LadyJulieAnn


Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline 		Being a human, you have rights.

(in reply to thetammyjo)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/8/2007 5:24:09 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		OMG yes!!! 
What the heck, aren't these people thinking adults?  Why on earth would someone engage in anything like bdsm as if they don't assume some responsibility for their choices? 
Our society tends to be too much into the "It's not my fault" mentality.  They run wildly with scissors and then wonder why no one told them to point it AWAY from their body.
Sheesh.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: FelinePersuasion

What I want to know, is how come all the new subs on the scene, seem to have no sense to think for themself at all.  I see more and more people asking is it ok to think for myself, is it ok to refuse advances from strange dominants, do I have to submit to the first person who says to.

What ever happend to using your mind.


_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to FelinePersuasion)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/8/2007 6:02:06 PM   
demistress


Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: demistress

Let me get this straight.... you contacted a domme with the intention of getting into a financial domination relationship and then were displeased when she demanded money from you for the time invested in talking to you?

GET A LIFE!!!!


demistress,
I didn't read anywhere in his post that he was searching to be a money slave.  In fact, I got the total opposite impression from reading his profile.
 ... - pixel


Hey Pixel,  I don't go assuming this stuff, if you read the OP's follow up post #3 in this thread, you'll see that he declares himself a money slave.

_____________________________

Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to pixelslave)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/8/2007 7:15:03 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		I am derranged, and very happily so, LMAO.
I guess I should get help to become more of a women hating God's name profaning like you though.    M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to shamedmale)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/8/2007 7:26:26 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: demistress

Hey Pixel,  I don't go assuming this stuff, if you read the OP's follow up post #3 in this thread, you'll see that he declares himself a money slave.



demistress,
I did read the follow-up post several times before I posted and I still felt as though it was open to interpretation.  I took it to mean that he felt as though he had either become, or as though she wanted him to become a money slave to her, not that he was revealing that he wanted to be one; particularly in light of what I read in his profile where there was no mention of it.  But that could very well have been my misinterpretation of his 2nd post.  Clarification by him would be the only way for me to know for certain whether he is or is not a money slave and seeking that kind of relationship.  From reading his profile, it was my impression that he was clearly seeking something more than that.
 
 - pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to demistress)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/8/2007 8:29:46 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		[quote] ORIGINAL: shamedmale

im 100% with you on this one onestandingstill, if you excuse the pun your bang on the money when you say that its better to give money if you want to to a charity and not to a selfish bitch. Thats bang on the money for me. There are too many dommes out there who are conniving bitches and pure greedy.  Their greed is fuelled by their manipulative behaviour in getting men to pay them ridiculous money BUT and this is a huge money if enough men said no to them or paid them just token tributes , they would NOT be so demanding.  Why?  They would know they could only get so much, whereas NOW there is no limit a woman asks for $1000 and the sub gives it to her no questions asked no wonder there are so many demanding greedy manipulative dommes out there. They can get away with it and are screwing men every way because they get away with it. If enough men stood up to them and said NO and meant it they would soon become less demanding [/quote]
 
First let me assure you that I am NOT a pro domme.  That being said, I have to say that when I read a lamet such as this, I am amazed that you men don't realize you bring it on yourself.  
 
I can't begin to tell you how many times that I've been asked to play and when I decline.. the very next thing done is an offering of some kind of gift. Sometimes they go right for the "how much do your charge" bit.  When I say I don't charge..then It's "well, why won't you play with me" How about BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO.
 
You guys will flash money so fast.. then bitch when someone takes you up on it.  No one says you have to pay ANYONE.  It was YOUR CHOICE.  The true Dominant in it all is your own neediness.   Why is this so hard to understand??

< Message edited by LotusSong -- 1/8/2007 8:32:04 PM >

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to shamedmale)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/8/2007 9:21:52 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear brafox, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In my mind's eyes I see, submission is born from consent and from that consent is born understanding of what the person is about to commit to in submission, without holding any conditions and or knowledge back from the one who approaches from a slave/submissive role.
It is with complete and exhausted reviews of all questions and matters that satisfies the slave/submissive completely; well negotiated prior to the commitment and matching understanding--does one then consent to submit and from that point consent to being dominanted.
 
Apparently, you have run into a cyber Dominant where anything in lower font case is submissive and naive enough to believe the fantasy that all men that proclaim a submissive nature as automatic slave and or servant to them.
 
Correctly, you are not obligated to any Dominant until you enter into a contract of a committed relationship.  This can be just an oral contract and or written but, both parties need to understand completely what the relationship as Dominant/submissive means and all the rights, obligations and boundaries are before the actual commitment.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to brafox)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/8/2007 9:44:21 PM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		Just because someone calls themselves a dominant doesn't mean you have to instantly submit to them. Be polite and respectful until you feel the need to do otherwise. Alot of people online become full of themselves and expect instant submission. Do what is right for you.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to brafox)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/8/2007 9:47:33 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear shamedmale, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
In regard to the focus on 'demands' in the posting within the threads; in most legal theaters on an International and National scale; the demand for money must have a vehicle and or device if you will, to make the transfer of said financial instruments to take place.
 
Anybody can make a 'demand' however, it must also be followed with how that demand would be enforced.  I would have to create a criminal intent in order to become a criminal act.  There are certain legal protocols to fit certain protocols of what constitutes as criminal and or legal demand of a payment for services rendered.
 
That said; it has indeed become a global problem when it comes to identity theft and 'scams' if you will, concerning money.  Furthermore, a check can be bogus and 'clear' through the banks yet, it takes 5 plus days to determine if that check is bogus or not. 
 
With 'free enterprise,' there can be unlicensed businesses which may/can/could/would demand payment or partial payment for services rendered, even if it was a Instant Messenger exchange and or using the phone systems via ISP providers.  The "wondering out loud" I have to share with fellow readers though; if the person first declared themselves in a business 'stance.'  Then demanded money if that business stance was to continue.  If that business stance was not declared, I would venture that the matter or demand of funds in exchange for services would fail in any court of law; as the individual would not have had warning that a innocent conversation turned into a business stance and or dealing.  Failure to disclose would be my thoughts on the matter.
 
But, until the chain is complete--there is no 'crime.'  Evidence protocol and witness protocol in jurisprudence pretty much demands that the 'deed' must have a start and its ending.
 
I shall also add, that the icons under people's screen/forum names are the posting status icons which have no connection to a person's mental health and or kink status.
 
Just some thoughts.
 
Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to shamedmale)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/9/2007 8:46:37 AM   
shamedmale


Posts: 135
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		that was not my intention at all i regret if you feel offended

(in reply to Celedane)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/9/2007 8:49:45 AM   
shamedmale


Posts: 135
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		i agree with you . i think in some respects men are too spineless, they should say NO and mean it.  But a woman or a man who demands money from someone they hardly know is not a friend in my eyes of anyone

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/9/2007 8:52:54 AM   
shamedmale


Posts: 135
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		i dont hate women. i dont hate anyone. i just think men and women should be treated equally. And no I dont think that just because you are a Domme that that entitles you to anything you want and you call the shots and before im labelled sexist ,  I think the same goes for male doms, neither sex has right to take advantage of the other sex whether through demanding money or anything else which is outside the rules, i just think its not right, if im condemned for saying that so be it

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/9/2007 9:24:34 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Submissives have rights, so do slaves. What those rights are, are determined by the consenting parties who enter into the relationship. I don't think a dominant has the right to assume they own you until all the negotiations are said and done. That is why I advise people to take their time and not rush into any relationship before they really get to know the person. If its just an online or phone thing then you proceed at your own risk and the pair can pretend to be whatever they want to be.
Not all Domme's ask for money, I know I do not. The only money my sub gives me is money to put into his savings account because he is unable to save money himself. Its sad but true, some grown people do not know how to save money and because they never learned the lesson when they were younger and  it isnt easy these days!
Some men WANT to be financial slaves/subs and yes there are Dommes out there who do that. But these men make the decision to enter into this type of relationship on their own, the Dommes do not force them into it.
As for equal rights and equal respect, yep I am all for that but you have to understand in D/s or M/s relationships one person holds the power (or at least most of it) because that is what the individuals desire in their lifestyles. These people are volunteers they aren't being drafted.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to shamedmale)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/9/2007 9:28:19 AM   
shamedmale


Posts: 135
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		but there comes a point when its not voluntary and they want to get out surely they can do that. I agree with most of the above Lashra . You strike me as a woman who sees the real picture and  has her head screwed on. Sadly most Mistresses do not see beyond their greedy desires and building their own empire of wealth at the slaves expense. Thats the only point im making but youve expressed it well yourself. Thank you
shamed

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/9/2007 9:28:32 AM   
Chakota


Posts: 9
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline 		Shamedmale:
I disagree...respectfully of course. Within this environment where we have collectively established a hierarchy, equal treatment is neither an expectation nor is it rational to make that assumption. We appoint ourselves a position and title it, along with that comes the responsibility of adhering to certain generally accepted protocols conducts behavior’s beliefs and values. Equality, has absolutely nothing at all to do with it.

(in reply to shamedmale)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/9/2007 9:30:27 AM   
kittensmailbox


Posts: 744
Joined: 1/7/2005
From: Youngstown, Ohio
Status: offline 		Of course submissives have rights, If we didnt, then we would be called slaves....

_____________________________

~softly smiles

~lowers her eyes in respect~

~kitten

(in reply to Chakota)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 1/9/2007 9:37:43 AM   
shamedmale


Posts: 135
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline 		Sorry mate but equality has EVERYTHING to do with.  If there is not mutual respect between Dommes slave and an agreement to treat the person with respect and equally in general life there is nothing. Play is different of course it s ok once a week or whatever by consensual agreement that the Domme plays the wicked stepmother or cruel boss or whatever and the sub must do everything she says. But this and this is where I broke away from my current Dominant Lady, im separated at the moment, because of the fact she wanted to treat me cruelly or her fashion day in and day out , I would never be anything but a slave to her mere property and would be treated as such including having to sleep on the floor every night and outdoors as punishment if necessary and that I would have to give everything I owned to her, I would have no treats , no rights, no privileges except the ones she allowed, she would control everything, I could not have it that way and told her so . At the end of the day my friend we are all human beings and deserved to be treated with kindness and respect with everything 50/50 in chores and everything apart from play where of course we assumen the submissive role but to be subordinate to her in everything to be totally controlled that I could not accept.  And im sure a lot of people would agree.

(in reply to Chakota)
Profile   Post #: 60
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