pixelslave
Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shamedmale
Sorry mate but equality has EVERYTHING to do with. If there is not mutual respect between Dommes slave and an agreement to treat the person with respect and equally in general life there is nothing. Play is different of course it s ok once a week or whatever by consensual agreement that the Domme plays the wicked stepmother or cruel boss or whatever and the sub must do everything she says. But this and this is where I broke away from my current Dominant Lady, im separated at the moment, because of the fact she wanted to treat me cruelly or her fashion day in and day out , I would never be anything but a slave to her mere property and would be treated as such including having to sleep on the floor every night and outdoors as punishment if necessary and that I would have to give everything I owned to her, I would have no treats , no rights, no privileges except the ones she allowed, she would control everything, I could not have it that way and told her so . At the end of the day my friend we are all human beings and deserved to be treated with kindness and respect with everything 50/50 in chores and everything apart from play where of course we assumen the submissive role but to be subordinate to her in everything to be totally controlled that I could not accept. And im sure a lot of people would agree.
shamed,
In a vanilla relationship, I'd agree that equality has a great deal to do with it, but not in a D/s relationship. I understand where you are coming from, believe me I do! I walked away from an abusive relationship myself with a former Mistress/wife. Those kinds of entanglements are not exactly easy to extract yourself from, especially if there are children involved. The courts and legal system here in the States are geared to protect women who have been abused and not men who are being taken advantage of or in any way abused by a woman.
My saga of many months to retain my rights as a father will soon be over; most likely sometime near the end of next month. I have had to prove I was fit to take care of my unmentionables during visitation with me, even though I've been doing that since the beginning, yet sadly I expect I will most likely lose some of the visitation I had previously negotiated to have with them. Their mother simply reneged on our agreement and got a court order to have us evaluated by a court psychologist; something greatly to her advantage.
From your description it sounds as though your wife/Mistress decided to change the rules defining your D/s relationship without renegotiating them with you. To most in this lifestyle, this would be a breach of what is considered acceptable treatment of each other in a power exchange. I still seek a loving woman with which to have a D/s relationship in an equitable power exhange where things are explicitly agreed to in the form of a contract that can regularly be renegotiated as the situation merits. I recognize that we as people grow and change with time and experience. Our needs, wishes, and limits will tend to change with time in such an arrangement.
As I assume (we all know what that can mean) you are recently separated, it sounds as though your emotions are probably raw and that you likely need time for them to begin to heal. D/s relationships by design aren't equal, but it is my opinion that equal respect is still due a sub from a Dominant as is normally expected of the Dominant by her submissive, but in a much less formal manner.
D/s relationships are symbiotic by nature. A Domme cannot dominate without a submissive who will submit to her. If I agree to submit to a woman, I believe I am due her respect for having the strength and courage to do so. Exactly what I am willing to submit to and the form of domination she is willing to provide in the exchange of power is something that needs to be negotiated before submission or domination begins by either party.
What works for one couple may be totally different for another. It is entirely up to each person as to the nature of the relationships they'll be having with their partners. I don't believe it is for us to judge the relationships of others, only to decide what we are willing to accept for ourselves. 
- pixel
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Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!
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RE: Being a submissive, do we have any rights? - 
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