SusanofO
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Joined: 12/19/2005
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Just take your meds. It's really, really important! If you are already of course, or will start to take new ones soon, then maybe it's part of your need to feel "accepted" by your Dominant, despite being bi-polar, to ask him to be a little more involved and communicative with you (or what ever way you wish he'd become more involved, or show he cares about you) - even in that state?
Maybe it will take him some practice, but, besides being authoratative and insisting you do things like take your meds, he could learn how to interact with you if you are leaning more towards mania, for instance, (or feeling very down), as far as bdsm acitivity so it wouldn't harm you, necessarily, probably (although I know when I am really depressed I don't want to do much of anything, so maybe this would only be practical if you were on an even keel, or leaning more towards mania. You know that better than I do, though).
And, it's to his credit, I suppose, that he's hesitant, as far as maybe feeling he'd be "taking advantage" of you (but hey - isn't that what he does as a Dominant anyway - isn't that sort of in his "job description"?) Maybe it's a matter of how one interprets terminology. And you didn't go into detail about what he means when he says "I don't want to take advantage of you".
I've been on anti-depressants for over 25 years, for uni-polar depression, and have two close friends who are bi-polar. I've been lucky enough to not have many dark, bottom-of-the-pit moods - but had one recently, last last month. I can work myself through it, I've been doing it for 25 years now. I admit, it can be nicer to have a shoulder to lean on, when and if that happens. But, it can also be very draining to the other person, sometimes, so I always hesitate to do that, and that's not necessarily a bad thing (but that's my own situation, of course). Sometimes I do, just not to the degree I want to, for instance (which might be a very good thing, considering how dark those moods can become).
I still, every so often (about once a year, usually) will stop taking as many meds as I need (at least cut the dose) without any medical advice whatsoever - just to see if I still "really need" the meds. I know it's stupid, too, as this "experiment" has never once shown me that is true, in 25 years. But I think it might be my ego talking to me when I do stupid stuff like that. At least I do it a whole lot less often than I did, say, 10 years ago.
But - I think I understand when people do that. And I know bi-polar meds can be more challenging to take then the one I take. I think maybe my experiments have to do with still feeling some stigmatization for being a "depressive" at all. But - it's not our fault. I was born this way. It is a chemical imbalance, in my case, just like yours. And even if it wasn't, it would probably not eliminate the need for some kind of chemical solution (meds). IMO.
If what you say about needing his guidance more in this state is a true "need" (and it could be) and not just a "want", then I'd politley ask if you can discuss further the ways he can help you with these phases, without violating his sense of integrity. Good luck.
- Susan
< Message edited by SusanofO -- 1/12/2007 4:50:58 PM >
_____________________________
"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson
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Depression - 
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To His credit, He worked to calm me down, even though He still didn't get the whole story - I ended up journaling about it so He'd understand. 
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