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LadyLupineNYC -> RE: big argument over female dominants (1/15/2007 10:41:17 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Sunshine119
The person with the money here IS the dominant whether anyone wishes to admit it or not. If the sub is paying to be dominated with specific services, s/he is really in conrol of all the power in this financially agreed upon relationship. That makes hir the Dominant.
On some level, yes; as I mentioned in another post, it is a client-based service but that doesn't mean the dynamic is all diffrent. They have limits, as do my personal play partners, and they have 'preferances'. In both cases, I have no issue with ignoring the preferances if it suites me. I once had a session with a client who reguarly comes to our parties (twice a month). He is, in all honesty, the most annoying person to have to deal with for hours at a time, always trying to take your attention away from other clients, making loud comments about sissys who might be there being ugly, interupting converstaions, begging for free session etc. One day, much to my shock, he came in for a regular1 hr session with me & another Mistress (normally he would only fo one or two 10 min sessions over 5 hours). I had him on the cross, was flogging him to teach him manners towards the Mistresses and other guests and, at some point he actually removed himself from the cross begging "when do we get to the feet!". Needless to say, we never did after (let alone my 'queening', his main reason for comming in that day) and I basically ignored him for the remainder of the session (the other Mistress allowed him to worship her feet on HIS terms, but he kept begging for me). Next time he came to the party I beat him in front of the other Mistresses and clients for his gastly behavior (and, funny enough, was tipped for it by other clients [;)]) He still comes to the Dungon for just about every party. Alas, he never did learn that lession about manners. And he still begs to see me, which I turn down...
The point is, while yes, the dynamic is somewhat diffrent, to automatically assume that money is the ONLY key to power (I will not disagree that it is one of them) is, in my opinion, too symplictic an interpretation. I have had clients 'protest' in session and I always remind them where thay are and who they are speaking to (and, for that matter, who gave them permission to speak in the first place) they always seems to settle them down real quick. To be honest, the sessins where the dynamic is least D/s is with pure, single-element fetishists, a sort of sub I would have no normal interest in my persoanl life asit gets real dull real quick; the ultimate in 'do me' mindsets). When I have those sessions, I respect thier fetish and let them focus just on that (such as feet, canning), no matter how repetative it might become for an hour. After all, even in a non-profession situation, you would not what to be completly neglectful of a sub's deepest desires, be them to vaccum, kiss your feet, or be your foot stool. The greatest pleasure comes from both of you enoying the exchange of Mistresses and subissives desires...and happy client can leave me just as energized and as focused as a personal scene.
I understad that some will never agree with what I do and always which to point out how it makes me less in control (in thier eyes). As one who is actually doing it, I coundn't disagree more.
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