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RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/14/2007 11:23:20 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		Oh I agree, I am discussing why so many male submissives dislike Professional Domina's.
They do put a lot of time and energy in their image.
Many of us that are NOT Pro's work in jobs that are demanding and we are not spending
hours getting ready to attract male submissives.
But then we are not charging $200 an hour either.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to Tslaveboy)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/14/2007 11:43:59 AM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Personally, I think many get enraged because many of the Pro's are so attractive.
Look around, many of the Pro's have pictures up {that may or may NOT be them}
that are of slender, beautiful women willing to engage you in all your fantasies!
LOL  They don't want to pay the beauties!
Damn it, it should be free!
LOL  These young, beautiful women should WANT me to submit to the things that
I WANT to submit to for free!
Hell I even made a do-me list for her to use!


 I am going to pretend you are refering to me *snicker*...ah yes...the 'to do' list  (aka the 'do me' list)...the #1 one reason I hit 'delete'...

< Message edited by LadyLupineNYC -- 1/14/2007 11:47:32 AM >

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."


(in reply to MzMia)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/14/2007 11:52:46 AM   
MzMia


Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline 		LOL LadyLupine
When I read most of the "submissive male" profiles on here,
I am thinking, YOU need to find a Professional Domina.
There is definately a BIG need for Pro Domina's, I don't see
that changing, in fact I see it as a growing industry.

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain


What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/14/2007 12:20:18 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

You are a rare bird then :)



Thank you, I like to think so too!
 

quote:



Pilosie is a prime example. She penetrated the marble ceiling.. but even on here.. she was called the typical derrogatory names. No matter how far we come.. men will defend their "natural order" position within their Good Old Boys Club mentality.



There's no doubt the "Good Old Boy's Club" still exists and will continue to exist for some time to come.  I watched my former Mistress/spouse contend with it daily and coached her as best I could on how to deal with it and weave her way through treacherous waters based on my experience as a male.   On numerous occasions I previously had something of an inside peek at the club while working for a Fortune 100 Company when dealing with upper management; occasionally being included in conversations and discussions regarding decisions far above an employee at my level.  It gave me a very unique perspective which I readily shared with her.  It was also a place which I'd decided I had absolutely no desire to go!  
 
Its a delicate path for a woman to follow.  They are often portrayed as either a "bitch" or the office slut who has slept her way to the top.  They can often get left with the "dirty work" which the men do not want to do; making them further appear as the "bitch" even though the decisions were not theirs (just theirs to execute).  There's the "mommy guilt" and other things unique to women with which they have to deal, which are different for men. 
 
You might say I've seen it from both sides, and I don't see it as a great choice for either gender to make primarily because of the personal sacrifices and what it can do to relationships for those who aren't prepared or ready to find the balance of what works for both of them.  But that's just my opinion based on my own set of priorities and what I personally find important and satisfying in life.  Money is only nice to a point, and I don't have the need for the power or control, which in my opinion is merely an illusion in any corporate environment.  Just ask Martha Stewart or the former Chairman of Enron, and perhaps you'll see my point. 
 
 - pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/14/2007 12:37:18 PM   
pixelslave


Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TexasMaam

quote:

ORIGINAL: subslaveb0y
I hope to see, as time goes on, more *true dominants* to emerge into the scene. If these individuals are intelligent and sophisticated -- as I require in a dominant -- they might already possess the means to support as many slaves as they desire, without resorting to anything illegal. To date, I seen very few profiles along these lines.


"To date, I seen very few profiles along these lines"...

"To date, I seen"

*chortle*

I'd hazard a guess that you won't be meeting very many 'high end' Dommes using such grammar.

*cackle*

TM



No offense TM, but was that really necessesary?  I'd have expected that a Southern Belle such as yourself wouldn't have needed to point out what was already obvious, instead of simply reading the intent behind the OP's message and either responding to it or ignoring it.  Posts such as yours seem rather mean and pointless to me.  
 
That's not to imply that the OP's post is full of any great wisdom to share, only that he apparently at least had a purpose in that he needed someplace to rant and vent.
 
 - pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to TexasMaam)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/14/2007 12:39:30 PM   
VeryMercurial


Posts: 620
Joined: 6/5/2006
Status: offline 		lol

(in reply to pixelslave)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/14/2007 2:40:37 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Gentlemen.  In case you haven't heard:
 
Women....don't.... have...to....pay...for...sexual....attentions.  They....don't...have...to. 
 
(If they want some but can't get any....  they knit.)


Okay....I just went and bought all kinds of knitting shit...I've spent the last 4 hours knitting...and I still haven't cum.

_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

(in reply to LotusSong)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/14/2007 2:46:58 PM   
LTRsubNW


Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy


Money can pretty much buy anything, can't it?


Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Yup :)

_____________________________

Small deeds will always mean more than large intentions.

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/14/2007 5:03:27 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Gentlemen.  In case you haven't heard:
 
Women....don't.... have...to....pay...for...sexual....attentions.  They....don't...have...to. 
 
(If they want some but can't get any....  they knit.)


Okay....I just went and bought all kinds of knitting shit...I've spent the last 4 hours knitting...and I still haven't cum.


You may be doing it wrong.  The yarn is for CBT and the knitting needles are for piercing.  I hope this helps
 
(For those that may not have gotten the nuance of my "knitting" comment.  All that it means is that women just find other things to do. )

_____________________________

Life Lesson #1

I'm not your type.
I'm not inflatable.


(in reply to LTRsubNW)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/15/2007 2:37:45 AM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: julietsierra

So he took a different tact. Suggested that if he did the work correctly vs incorrectly, then instead of punishing him for incorrect actions, perhaps I could reward him for the things he did right. Maybe I could take him shopping, and we'd walk through the mall while I directed him on what to buy for me. He'd buy it - with his money, not mine - and carry all the packages as he walked behind me.

Oh! I can DEFINITELY say I had a very difficult time turning him down! Cleaning my entire house and then, as a reward for his hard work...he'd buy ME things? hehehe...oh yea.. I had a VERY difficult time turning him down.



I so understand you here.  LOL. It would be difficult to turn down. I'm like you in in this respect though.  If I couldn't select him if this fetish were never were mentioned, I couldn't select him because just because of it.
----------------------------------------------
As an aside, I'm also one who is uncomfortable with accepting gifts unless I'm in a relationship with them. Then gifts are a two way street. Financially, I only require that the person can support themselves, in or out of a relationship.

I've never been a Pro, nor do I ever want to be, but I'm for them. Hell, make it legal and quit bugging people about it and what they want to do with their time and money.

~Big

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/15/2007 2:49:55 AM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LTRsubNW

quote:

ORIGINAL: LotusSong

Gentlemen.  In case you haven't heard:
 
Women....don't.... have...to....pay...for...sexual....attentions.  They....don't...have...to. 
 
(If they want some but can't get any....  they knit.)


Okay....I just went and bought all kinds of knitting shit...I've spent the last 4 hours knitting...and I still haven't cum.


ahhhhh I'm laughing soooo hard here LOL

(in reply to LTRsubNW)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/15/2007 6:24:12 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		Mmmmm I get gifts from women a lot. Unsolicited ones I might ad. Im not a ProDom but does that make me a semi proDom? To me paying a ProDomme exibits an extremly low self confidence.

(in reply to bignipples2share)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/15/2007 6:48:01 AM   
Dragonskiss72


Posts: 85
Joined: 9/30/2006
Status: offline 		T to be honest I really do see where you are coming from.  I have a lot of guys contact Me wanting this and that, sometimes using equipment that I simply do not own and cannot afford.  But suggest that they might like to buy it for themselves and bring it with? well gee you might as well suggest buggering their grand-mother's poodle.

(in reply to IWantToPunish)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/15/2007 8:18:25 AM   
bignipples2share


Posts: 611
Joined: 4/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Mmmmm I get gifts from women a lot. Unsolicited ones I might ad. Im not a ProDom but does that make me a semi proDom? To me paying a ProDomme exibits an extremly low self confidence.

Not everyone is looking for a long term relationship. Some are only interested in having their needs met with no strings attached. They would prefer not to get into all of the hoopla of trying to pick some person up in a bar, jump through hoops then not get what they're looking for. They have neither the desire, or time. There are people who could care less about the hunt. Others who have a fetish for Pros. In no way do I see this as low self esteeme. 

Yes, some people have low self esteeme. There are also unfortunate souls who may never be able to find any other option other than going to a Pro, for whatever reason.

I think Pros provide a valid service.

~Big

(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/15/2007 8:51:35 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		There are always other options. They are not providing a service just a quick oportunity for a lazy person.

(in reply to bignipples2share)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/15/2007 10:05:16 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyLupineNYC
After all, I get those types of guys who emails we tend to ignore on here.., "oh Mistress, I want you to twist my nipples for 2 hours while wearing a tutu and you calling me a little slut".  Wonderful, come right on in and I will let you fullfil your fantasy in a private, well-stocked Dungon far away from your wife, g/f, co-workers, whatever.  I see this as a great service, even as so many call me a whore.  


The person with the money here IS the dominant whether anyone wishes to admit it or not.  If the sub is paying to be dominated with specific services, s/he is really in conrol of all the power in this financially agreed upon relationship.  That makes hir the Dominant.

It would be no different from choosing to see a particular Broadway play.  The person chooses how to spend hir money.  The person choosing, and paying is the dominant entity in this activity as well.

Not that it is right, wrong or otherwise.  It is just different from those Dominants or Submissives looking for "their ONE"




_____________________________


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/15/2007 10:41:17 AM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sunshine119

The person with the money here IS the dominant whether anyone wishes to admit it or not.  If the sub is paying to be dominated with specific services, s/he is really in conrol of all the power in this financially agreed upon relationship.  That makes hir the Dominant.



On some level, yes; as I mentioned in another post, it is a client-based service but that doesn't mean the dynamic is all diffrent.  They have limits, as do my personal play partners, and they have 'preferances'.  In both cases, I have no issue with ignoring the preferances if it suites me.  I once had a session with a client who reguarly comes to our parties (twice a month).  He is, in all honesty, the most annoying person to have to deal with for hours at a time, always trying to take your attention away from other clients, making loud comments about sissys who might be there being ugly, interupting converstaions, begging for free session etc.  One day, much to my shock, he came in for a regular1 hr session with me & another Mistress (normally he would only fo one or two 10 min sessions over 5 hours).  I had him on the cross, was flogging him to teach him manners towards the Mistresses and other guests and, at some point he actually removed himself from the cross begging "when do we get to the feet!".  Needless to say, we never did after (let alone my 'queening', his main reason for comming in that day) and I basically ignored him for the remainder of the session (the other Mistress allowed him to worship her feet on HIS terms, but he kept begging for me).  Next time he came to the party I beat him in front of the other Mistresses and clients for his gastly behavior (and, funny enough, was tipped for it by other clients )  He still comes to the Dungon for just about every party.  Alas, he never did learn that lession about manners.  And he still begs to see me, which I turn down...

The point is, while yes, the dynamic is somewhat diffrent, to automatically assume that money is the ONLY key to power (I will not disagree that it is one of them) is, in my opinion, too symplictic an interpretation.  I have had clients 'protest' in session and I always remind them where thay are and who they are speaking to (and, for that matter, who gave them permission to speak in the first place) they always seems to settle them down real quick.  To be honest, the sessins where the dynamic is least D/s is with pure, single-element fetishists, a sort of sub I would have no normal interest in my persoanl life asit gets real dull real quick; the ultimate in 'do me' mindsets).  When I have those sessions, I respect thier fetish and let them focus just on that (such as feet, canning), no matter how repetative it might become for an hour.  After all, even in a non-profession situation, you would not what to be completly neglectful of a sub's deepest desires, be them to vaccum, kiss your feet, or be your foot stool.  The greatest pleasure comes from both of you enoying the exchange of Mistresses and subissives desires...and happy client can leave me just as energized and as focused as a personal scene.

I understad that some will never agree with what I do and always which to point out how it makes me less in control (in thier eyes).  As one who is actually doing it, I coundn't disagree more.

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."


(in reply to Sunshine119)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/15/2007 1:17:25 PM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline 		LL

Perhaps what he is really paying you for is humilitation....or denial?  And you are giving him plenty of that.  If you want to be in business, you'll figure out what keeps him coming back. 

And, if you really don't like the sucker, you can always refuse to dominate him.  Once again, it is the money that keeps you in the situation, and it is his ability to manipulate you with that money which gets him the things he wants done. 

In any business, the consumer holds the power.  The customer is always right.

Sunshine


_____________________________


Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

(in reply to LadyLupineNYC)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/15/2007 1:34:57 PM   
LadyLupineNYC


Posts: 618
Joined: 12/14/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Maybe my post was unclear- I do refuse to see him for his disrespect.  As for the humiliation he craves, we are all aware at the House at that is what he wants- the attention (mind you, I was purposly giving a 'show' for other clients to liven things up as well...it earned a two hour session as well as a result)- but he does really dislike pain.  I am not really interested in giving a whole psycological profile on him, just trying to illistrate a point about control in session.  As for 'staying in business', this is not a problem as I do have many repeat clients.  I 'keep' myself in this situation by choice.  This is a side job for me that I do b/c I enjoy the challange of it.  As for the customer always being right...that would suggest that when a client wants something that is illigal or outside of my personal limits, I (or anyone else I work with) would do it.  This is not the case, no matter the money being offered.  They are shown the door and told never to come back. 

I really have no desire to get into some sort of contest about this...I have just been trying to speak on my personal experiances as a Pro.  As I have stated before, I know that that means many will think of less of me as a Domme but, to be quite honest, I couldn't care less what other think about what I do that I enjoy.

_____________________________

Facta, non verba gratia placenti

"I have been looking for a way to serve the community that incorporates my violence..."


(in reply to Sunshine119)
Profile   Post #: 99
RE: big argument over female dominants - 1/15/2007 3:13:21 PM   
Jasmyn


Posts: 1234
Joined: 2/6/2004
From: New Zealand
Status: offline
quote:

To me paying a ProDomme exibits an extremly low self confidence.


quote:

They are not providing a service just a quick oportunity for a lazy person.


quote:

Original: Sunshine119

The person with the money here IS the dominant whether anyone wishes to admit it or not.  If the sub is paying to be dominated with specific services, s/he is really in conrol of all the power in this financially agreed upon relationship.  That makes hir the Dominant.


These are uninformed and unfortunately largely incorrect opinions of pro domination...but I really can't be arsed explaining why as history tells me no one who believes this shit has any interest in knowing the truth. 



_____________________________

quote:

"To learn the art of submission a slave must first give up the desires that drew him to submission in the first place." Mistress Jasmyn Jan 2005.


Visit My Website


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 100
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