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love - 1/15/2007 7:55:10 AM   
MasterHXB


Posts: 48
Joined: 1/3/2007
Status: offline 		Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.
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RE: love - 1/15/2007 8:06:01 AM   
aSlavesLife


Posts: 347
Joined: 12/1/2006
Status: offline 		Not in the least. Though I do not find it necessary to love a slave, if it happens my ability to discipline and control is not hindered in the slightest due to any emotional attachment. I would be in a sorry state if it were, as my sexual desire is linked inseparably to my sadism.

(in reply to MasterHXB)
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RE: love - 1/15/2007 8:08:23 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB

Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.


Hell... I think it is just another aspect that increases my motivation in holding my girls accountable for their behaviors and exercising my authority over them.  Sometimes I think they think I love them too much lol

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to MasterHXB)
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RE: love - 1/15/2007 8:16:47 AM   
Nikodemus


Posts: 8
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline 		To me that question doesn't make sense. The submissive or slave should crave the control and expect to be punished for wrongdoing. If she didn't, she should probably re-think her lifestyle choice. I show my love by controlling her and punishing her when she requires it. To do otherwise would be to fail in my commitment to her.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
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RE: love - 1/15/2007 8:20:46 AM   
MasterGremlin


Posts: 230
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline 		Yes He does, He loves to controll and punish me
Sincerely,
minxy

(in reply to Nikodemus)
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RE: love - 1/15/2007 8:28:54 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I feel indeed without love in my relationship I could never, nor would I ever submit my body fully to his will, not mine.
I can only make that sacrifice to someone I love AND trust.
If he did not love me too, not necessarily monogamously, but in his heart the energy exchange would not work enough for me to truly feel safe belonging to him or that I should give so much control of myself to him.
Mind you in my two years I have indeed seen the strongest of sadist's go soft and not be able to do hard or firm things with someone because they loved them. But I've also seen the journey the two that together when love and the sadist mesh into an AWESOME and rare relationship and exchange.
Just the other day I was talking to a friend who says your Dom is of God, but the sadist in him is Satan. I feel the opposite of that is true, I feel the union of the two is of goodness and light if both enjoy the energy and no one's emotionally damaged or destroyed my extreme control or sensations.
I feel you can indeed have a HEAVY SADIST that loves you, takes good care of you, and tortures you divinely without Satan or Demons getting there hands in the mix.
suzanne

(in reply to MasterHXB)
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RE: love - 1/15/2007 8:29:24 AM   
mstrjx


Posts: 2045
Joined: 11/27/2005
Status: offline 		I agree to all of those above.  I definitely do not make a distinction between 'I love this person' and 'I'm hurting this person so much they're crying'.

Many people (or so I've heard) have real trouble mixing those two statements.  In my view, if the reason two people get together is to explore something within the realm of BDSM (because each of their individual needs are more fulfilled in non-vanilla relationships) and then love is allowed to cause the relationship to go vanilla, one person (generally the submissive) is going to be frustrated beyond belief.

This could never happen to me.  I'm too aware.

Jeff

_____________________________

Know thyself. It's the best gift you can ever give yourself.

(in reply to MasterHXB)
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RE: love - 1/15/2007 8:36:10 AM   
Stephann


Posts: 4214
Joined: 12/27/2006
From: Portland, OR
Status: offline 		No.

On the controlling aspect, I find it easier to assert our respective relationship roles because we love each other.  If I didn't care for her, I wouldn't feel any drive to control her.

On the punishment aspect, I prefer to believe that adults shouldn't be 'punished.'  Within the framework of our D/s dynamic, punishment is a tool to ensure obedience.

Punishment, as 'play' on the other hand, is a whole other topic.  Sadly, we lack common vocabulary necessary to make that distinction easily or quickly.


_____________________________

Nosce Te Ipsum

"The blade itself incites to violence" - Homer

Men: Find a Woman here

(in reply to mstrjx)
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RE: love - 1/15/2007 10:37:28 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB
Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.

Nope.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MasterHXB)
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RE: love - 1/15/2007 10:52:01 AM   
losttreasure


Posts: 875
Joined: 12/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB

Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.


Would you let your feelings of love for your little ones get in the way of controlling or punishing them?

I would think that the only way that love would be a hinderance is if the control and punishment you were trying to exert were knowingly detrimental to her.  It's hard to be deliberately mean and cruel to someone that you care for.

(in reply to MasterHXB)
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RE: love - 1/15/2007 12:08:17 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB

Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.


If I do not love someone I have no interest in how they behave therefore no real interest in controlling or punishing them. Quite honestly, without love it just wouldn't be worth the bother.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to MasterHXB)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: love - 1/22/2007 9:42:15 AM   
luv4softbutch


Posts: 35
Joined: 11/10/2005
Status: offline 		I agree with you onestandingstill.  No love, No play, no Trust is formed, but that is just my view. It's how I feel for me to be submissive.   

_____________________________

"SUBMISSION IS A WONDERFUL GIFT TO BE GIVEN.... MY DESIRE TO SUBMIT IS MY ADDICTION, MY ABILITY TO SUBMIT IS MY STRENGTH, MY FREEDOM TO SUBMIT IS MY POWER AND MY CHOICE TO SUBMIT IS MY WISDOM."

(in reply to onestandingstill)
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RE: love - 1/22/2007 10:35:16 AM   
SirDominic


Posts: 711
Joined: 11/22/2006
Status: offline 		It is precisely because of my love for my slave that I control and punish her.

(in reply to luv4softbutch)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: love - 1/22/2007 12:54:27 PM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB

Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.


Hubby does, yes. Here's another discussion of this:
Can love get in the way?

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan


(in reply to MasterHXB)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: love - 1/22/2007 4:07:33 PM   
OedipusRexIt


Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not the least bit ashamed to say that at times I have....

Sometimes you do have to hurt the ones you love, though.  Also, it can be cruel to be kind. 

Both useful cliches.

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to proudsub)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: love - 1/22/2007 4:13:42 PM   
griffn


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/3/2007
Status: offline 		You took the words right out of my mouth well put precise and to the point.
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirDominic

It is precisely because of my love for my slave that I control and punish her.

(in reply to SirDominic)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: love - 1/22/2007 4:33:04 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		I don't tend to love my subs/slaves, but I do often have a strong affection or the very least that appreciation of a good tool for those such applies to. 

For those I grow an affection for, no, I absolutely do not let those feelings interfere with punishment and control.  Both are part of strengthening and defining the relationship and helping the submissive to grow, while unpleasant at times they are part of a greater kindness and caring... "tough love", if you will.  I am helping them through disciplining, so I do not feel at all hesitant in doing what needs done for their and the relationship's care.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 1/22/2007 4:34:08 PM >

(in reply to MasterHXB)
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RE: love - 1/22/2007 5:53:15 PM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterHXB

Do you let your feelings of love for your female slave get in the way of controlling her and punishing her.




Certainly not. I make certain she understands that discipline and punishment—even what some would call abuse—is a form of affection in itself. Had I not the care, I would not even bother to punish or enforce my will.

(in reply to MasterHXB)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: love - 1/22/2007 6:04:38 PM   
andreaC


Posts: 195
Joined: 10/15/2006
Status: offline 		I think if Master didnt love or care for me........he wouldnt be punishing me when i deserve it or controlling me. He will do it because he cares deeply for me.

_____________________________

andreaC - owned by Master Carrera2
Complete and extremely happy :)
Jeg elsker deg Herre

(in reply to MasterHXB)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: love - 1/25/2007 5:46:51 PM   
MLapis


Posts: 19
Joined: 7/28/2005
Status: offline 		I am sure I often let love come between my submissive and I when it came time to administer some sort of punishment or discipline when she became bratty. But I allowed her to guilt me into the usual vanilla world of guilt.I was never strong enough to punish her when I knew I should. I am sure this contributed to the fall of our relationship. The frustration on both sides was extremely high.  Although I still don't think I could have truly ever punished her. She learned this and was easily able to walk all over me. I fear that next time I will be harder or I will not let myself love as deeply. That would be a shame.

(in reply to andreaC)
Profile   Post #: 20
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