How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub?

How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (Full Version)

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thaimeeuppppp -> How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/23/2007 8:02:28 PM)
if anyone cares to share how they discovered this. On their own? or thru sexual experience with another. I personally found that when I would read erotica of BDSM nature i would get unbearably excited whenaomeone was enslaved and objectified. Specially if it was against their will or there was blackmail of some kind involved. SO that at 1st the sub resisted but once taken there realized it was what he/she wanted.I was 15 when this started

MaryT -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/23/2007 8:10:02 PM)
When I knew something about me was different or when I learned that there was word for it? It was a 20-year gap.

kittensmailbox -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/23/2007 8:12:20 PM)
i was very young when the lil boy next door would tie me to the tree... but i was in my early 20's when i was first flogged

thaimeeuppppp -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/23/2007 8:17:15 PM)
I should add that it never occured to me I would enjoy sex with men untill I got raped in the LA county jail when I was 19. I do also enjoy fantasizing that I am a woman and love to cross dress. I enjoy sex with women too but more when its part of a 3 some. Discovered that at an orgy also in Los Angeles when i was 20

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/23/2007 8:20:13 PM)
My standard answer- orientations are innate while expressions of orientations are learned and shaped http://www.collarchat.com/m_744252/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#744266 Do you think you were "born this way"? http://www.collarchat.com/m_691960/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#691984 naturally Ds? http://www.collarchat.com/m_499963/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#499979 Nature or nurture? http://www.collarchat.com/m_307130/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#307130 Do you feel being a dom/me is innate or can be learned? http://www.collarchat.com/m_461558/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#461558 hard-wired, why why why! http://www.collarchat.com/m_143698/mpage_1/key_born%252Craised/tm.htm#143698 nature versus nurture http://www.collarchat.com/m_760860/mpage_2/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#761518 born to serve? http://www.collarchat.com/m_468650/mpage_1/key_nature%252Cnurture/tm.htm#468650 nature vs nurture http://www.collarchat.com/m_35901/mpage_1/key_learned%252Cborn/tm.htm#35901 born or learned, how we become dom?

HatesParisHilton -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/23/2007 8:23:27 PM)
6.

isis1013 -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/23/2007 8:31:59 PM)
I also did not know what I was until I learned there was a name for it - and I was therefore a late bloomer, around 38 years old. However, my earliest memory of being turned on while either doing or watching things involving bondage, objectification, rape/forced/coerced sex, etc., was about age 10-11 when I found that movies, even cartoons, that depicted a female being chased by or 'taken' by force by a man REALLY excited me. It was also about that time that I began playing 'kinky' with my Barbie, Ken and GI Joe dolls! In my scenarios, Joe was the 'Dom' because he was the more masculine of the 2 men, and also he handy dandy moveable arm and legs joints, all the better to grab and do naughty things with to Barbie. I would have Joe fight off Ken, take Barbie by force, remove her clothes, tie her up and..... Well, and nothing. hehehe At age 10 or 11 I didn't know what sex was nor did I know what would come next after she was naked and bound. But I DID know that this was somehow taboo yet it definitely excited me. isis

DeepWaters -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/23/2007 8:35:13 PM)
about 6 for the Dom part, about 12 for the sadist and fetishized anothers erotic pain around 18

Nikolette -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/23/2007 8:42:02 PM)
hm. It really depends. I could tell that I enjoyed being the one in control from a very young age. But I had no names or lables for it. When I was 15 I met a "slave" online who decided I should enslave him and boss him around and he introduced me to a lot of terms and such. It wasn't really my thing though since he was clearly topping from the bottom in order to fulfill his teenaged fantasies. (he was seventeen)... but after that I researched things and started trying them out with vanilla boyfriends and from then on I knew I leaned toward being a Domme. ... It wasn't until I was about eighteen that I really began to persue it with my love interests and trying things out... and it wasn't until a few years ago that I knew I was DONE with vanilla relationships. So basically there wasn't a clear cut age for me... it was a process.

SimplyMichael -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/23/2007 8:46:48 PM)
30 something?

BabyNyla -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/23/2007 9:09:49 PM)
I used to day dream about being kidnapped, tied up, used against my will ... all starting in junior high. Although I always daydreamed about submissive things ... I dommed for 8 years ... I am very attracted and turned on by sadism

thaimeeuppppp -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/23/2007 9:12:39 PM)
*these are all very interesting replies. I thank you for sharing*

eruditegirl1 -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 5:12:07 AM)
I found out at 40.....If I had been more promiscuous ......I would have realized sooner....

DiurnalVampire -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 5:27:17 AM)
I always knew that dating left something to be desired unless I was the one making al the decisions and calling all the shots. At age 15 when I started dating, that was about al it was since I wasnt having sex, al I knew was that I prefered to be in control. At age 18, I found out what it wsa to be dominant over a man in more than just a decision making way when my close friend and (after that night) mentor left me with 2 of her slaves and told them to "thank me properly for babysitting them." The power exchange was what I had always wanted, and I actively pursued other relationships like it. I had a few steps back into Vanilla relationships when I met people who werent into the lifestyle, but I was always the dominant member of those as well, when they were working. So, Id say 18 was my official enterance into the lifestyle I have grow to know and love. DV

TheShadows -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 5:33:36 AM)
Let's see...Causing other peoples' pain has been a facination and passion for me since I was a small child; probably around 8 years old. I found out about the lifestyle through a medieval role-playing chatroom when I was 17 years old (1999).

eyesopened -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 5:48:48 AM)
i was a very young child, i can't even say how young when i would fall asleep with thoughts (completely non-sexual since i had no concept of it) of being restrained and controlled in some fashion or another. it was my secret. as i grew older i thought maybe something was wrong with me. When i reached puberty the sexual aspect was incorporated. i was convinced i was mentally sick or something. as a teen i'd heard about S&M and i knew i wasn't one of those because my thoughts had never been about pain so i figured i was so strange that even S&M wasn't right for me. i felt lost, alone, and in a lot of ways i still do. i knew there might be people who liked B&D and i felt that was more in tune with what i felt but i had no way of knowing there were others like me or where to find them. my first real experience with BDSM was 18 years ago.... but only discovered there was a name for it about 7 years ago.

DOMME4boys -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 6:00:28 AM)
It has been my expereince that most subs start to get feelings around 9-12. Some act on them, some try to inqnore them, others just don't understand them. I do believe that most are born to serve and the same for dom/mes. As such, I ask all potential subs about thier past. Most true subs ahve ahd some form or experience shortly after that period. Some seek itout. Others merely attract the attention of a more experienced Dom/me. I am not sure if it is as easy for Dom/mes, as taking full control of another is a moremature concept.

RavenMuse -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 6:04:09 AM)
Always been aware that I responded diffrently to those around Me and with hindsight My first D/s 'scene' was when I was 3, of course I hadn't a clue what it was nor why that game with a neighbouring girl was such fun. It wasn't till I was 15 when I was introduced to D/s and BDSM that I suddenly had the lables and context to rationalise what I already was.

SlyStone -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 6:06:36 AM)
Causing other peoples' pain has been a facination and passion for me since I was a small child; probably around 8 years old. Another potential serial killer drawn to the ample bosom of BDSM and saved by the magic of consent.. If that aint beautiful I don't know what is.

sadomasokisti -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 6:20:28 AM)
I bought my first "toys" when I was 12.

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