RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (Full Version)

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ExSteelAgain -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 6:48:04 AM)

Who knows what early thoughts are really BDSM thoughts? I mean we all think this and that,  some "progress," others don't. I was 22 when I first met a woman who liked to be spanked, whipped, tied up and any other thing I could think of in my enthusiasm.



nyrisa -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 7:07:24 AM)

I can recall when I was about 5 years old, that when I "touched" myself, I liked it to hurt.  At 11 I was tying up my Barbies, and branding them.  Then in my early teens, I discovered the thinly veiled porno of seduction and force that is Romance novels.  But it took me until age 40 to realize I was a sub.  What can I say......guess I am a late bloomer.  *L*



mymasterssub69 -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 7:17:26 AM)

i'm a late bloomer i guess. i didn't "discover" my submissive side until i was 34 after meeting Dom online when i registered on Yahoo IM.  even though i had no clue why i would call Him "Sir", i merely felt it necessary to call Him by that name. i've had 2 former Masters who either saw me as a sexual kink or toy however it took someone like Daddy to finally trained and teach me about my submissiveness.



Lashra -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 7:18:03 AM)

As a little girl I used to enjoy tying up boys and interrogate them. I'd pull their hair, yell at them, call them names, smack their cheeks all done with a smile on my face. I enjoyed it and I still do, though I play with men now.[:D]

I have always been dominant it is my personality and when I hit my late teens I got tired of vanilla sex and tied up my boyfriend one night as he slept. When he woke up, I sexually tortured him which he loved. From there it just expanded.

~Lashra



darksdesire -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 7:28:38 AM)

When I was seven, I was fascinated by a book my mother had;  A Joyce Carol Oates boot, called "Do with Me What You Will."  The title intrigued me, sent my imagination soaring, and stirred feelings I didn't understand.  I later read the book, and it was nothing like what I thought, but even now, those words thrill me....."Do With Me What You Will." 



vield -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 7:30:02 AM)

I learned to play both dom and sub roles very young, before I was 4. I was taught by a family of older girls. I of course did NOT have a clue what the words dominant or submissive meant sexually at that age, but I experienced both, feared both, and learned to crave and need both sides.

At puberty all this play certainly confused things quite a bit. In any case some form of domination or submission has been a part of all my long term adult relationships, even when I was trying to be vanilla.



onestandingstill -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 7:56:27 AM)

I was a very sexual person from the day I lost my virginity at 16.
While I always followed my lovers I did not associate exhibitions ism, being led by my partner, or outrageous sexual acts with BDSM.
I thought people into S&M were mentally ill till I was woken up by a man at age 40.
He was an incredible vanilla a lover of mine and he'd always had the desire to do things  in the BDSM way since he was young.
I reluctantly agreed to some tame, non painful things on our next date.
It was mostly bondage and control stuff when it happened, but it flipped a switch in me I'll never be able to turn off again.
Unfortunately he decided he liked it better in his head after a few motnhs and it was not for him. I of course couldn't even consider a vanilla only lover ever again so we parted ways.
I was 41 & 2 days old before I began to explore S&M pain play and being a full submissive as an integral part of my needs and pleasure.
In reflection now I see I'd always fantasized I was a slave in another life and at times imagined being bound with my hands tied over my head and my feet tied much like if I was on a boat in a compartment tied into my bed or something.
I also lived the CInderella thing since I was 10 in my family of five though both my parents were blood parents and not step's.
My family used me as a service sub and accused me of being the lazy one when I did all the housework, cooking, and fetching for all of them.
So without realizing it most my life's path related to submission and service.
I think it had a lot to do with much of my choices since I was little I just didn't understand how or why I felt the way I did.
suzanne



childofpain -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 7:57:59 AM)

Master found me when i was 16...sat me down and told me what i was...i have been in heaven ever since.



SlyStone -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 8:36:34 AM)

My family used me as a service sub and accused me of being the lazy one when I did all the housework, cooking, and fetching for all of them.
So without realizing it most my life's path related to submission and service.


One can assume that your family had no idea what a "service sub" was, and even if they did you were a child,  so the label you are trying to apply does not fit. They may have used you, they may have treated you like shit, only you know that, but you were not a sub (read submissive) as we use that label here because you were not old enough to chose and your family was not a knowing participant in D/s.

When you confuse labels like this and attempt to show a path to D/s based on errant reasoning you do a disservice to yourself  and you appear to be confused between what is choice and what is not.




LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 8:58:29 AM)

Do you REALLY want to get into a serious discussion of free will vs determinism vs biological imperatives?

As I always say- who we are is innate, how we express ourselves is not.

But that's just one view.



SlyStone -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 9:06:28 AM)

Do you REALLY want to get into a serious discussion of free will vs determinism vs biological imperatives?


If my choice is that or the joys of toilet training and 100 ways to eat cum without choking than I am all ears.



thekajiracat -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 9:24:00 AM)

i became aware of the fact that i am submissive at the same age that i discovered and began to develop my sexuality. age 12.



MistressYlwa -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 9:32:34 AM)

I was 19



Missokyst -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 10:01:57 AM)

Ditto on the hurting part.  And the age was about the same.  But I wasn't a late bloomer.  The interest was young, and the action was just a decade behind.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa
I can recall when I was about 5 years old, that when I "touched" myself, I liked it to hurt.    But it took me until age 40 to realize I was a sub.  What can I say......guess I am a late bloomer.  *L*




Sinergy -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 10:04:11 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa

I can recall when I was about 5 years old, that when I "touched" myself, I liked it to hurt.  At 11 I was tying up my Barbies, and branding them.  Then in my early teens, I discovered the thinly veiled porno of seduction and force that is Romance novels.  But it took me until age 40 to realize I was a sub.  What can I say......guess I am a late bloomer.  *L*



My buddy and I used to torment his little sister by tying up and/or hanging her raggedy ann dolls.

In second grade my buddies and I had contests to see who could tie up other people without them being able to escape.  I almost always escaped, they almost always didnt.

Hit a point in my life where I did not feel the need to necessarily be in charge of people, just was pretty unwilling to let other people be in charge of me without my consent.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy



cjenny -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 10:05:17 AM)

Since I can remember my parents have asked why I am such a follower and not a leader. Heh. YES mother if they all jumped off the cliff I would too okay?



Coupleseeking321 -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 2:33:21 PM)

I've had fantasies relating to my submissive side since I was 10. I finally figured out what the heck it was all about at 17.



blackwinterbyrd -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 4:29:15 PM)

It's in the games that children play.  In the stories we told each other, with cages and prisoners and erotic tension and coercion and pain and so on.  



petdave -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 6:44:49 PM)

Started doing self-bondage no later than five years old. At six years old daydreamed about a girl i had a crush on, involving scenarios that in retrospect were very clearly D/s. At 10 was writing stories involving bondage and semi-consensual sadism. At 12 learned what the terms "masochism" and "submissive" meant, and said, holy crap, that's me! By 16 decided that my eighteenth birthday present to myself would be to see a pro-Domme. At 17 finally dated, and was lucky enough to find a girl who would Top me. 

...dave



MaryT -> RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? (1/24/2007 7:00:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Do you REALLY want to get into a serious discussion of free will vs determinism vs biological imperatives?


I've always thought of the second and third as being pretty much the same thing.  And such discussions make my head hurt.

MaryT



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