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RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 6:48:04 AM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		Who knows what early thoughts are really BDSM thoughts? I mean we all think this and that,  some "progress," others don't. I was 22 when I first met a woman who liked to be spanked, whipped, tied up and any other thing I could think of in my enthusiasm.

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You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to sadomasokisti)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 7:07:24 AM   
nyrisa


Posts: 1830
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		I can recall when I was about 5 years old, that when I "touched" myself, I liked it to hurt.  At 11 I was tying up my Barbies, and branding them.  Then in my early teens, I discovered the thinly veiled porno of seduction and force that is Romance novels.  But it took me until age 40 to realize I was a sub.  What can I say......guess I am a late bloomer.  *L*

(in reply to sadomasokisti)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 7:17:26 AM   
mymasterssub69


Posts: 566
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		i'm a late bloomer i guess. i didn't "discover" my submissive side until i was 34 after meeting Dom online when i registered on Yahoo IM.  even though i had no clue why i would call Him "Sir", i merely felt it necessary to call Him by that name. i've had 2 former Masters who either saw me as a sexual kink or toy however it took someone like Daddy to finally trained and teach me about my submissiveness.

_____________________________

there is something infinitely magical
about a Daddy Dom
...something only a little girl
can understand.

collared on 16th Jan 2007 by bigsambaman, my Daddy

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 7:18:03 AM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		As a little girl I used to enjoy tying up boys and interrogate them. I'd pull their hair, yell at them, call them names, smack their cheeks all done with a smile on my face. I enjoyed it and I still do, though I play with men now.

I have always been dominant it is my personality and when I hit my late teens I got tired of vanilla sex and tied up my boyfriend one night as he slept. When he woke up, I sexually tortured him which he loved. From there it just expanded.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 7:28:38 AM   
darksdesire


Posts: 326
Joined: 10/18/2006
Status: offline 		When I was seven, I was fascinated by a book my mother had;  A Joyce Carol Oates boot, called "Do with Me What You Will."  The title intrigued me, sent my imagination soaring, and stirred feelings I didn't understand.  I later read the book, and it was nothing like what I thought, but even now, those words thrill me....."Do With Me What You Will." 

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 7:30:02 AM   
vield


Posts: 354
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I learned to play both dom and sub roles very young, before I was 4. I was taught by a family of older girls. I of course did NOT have a clue what the words dominant or submissive meant sexually at that age, but I experienced both, feared both, and learned to crave and need both sides.

At puberty all this play certainly confused things quite a bit. In any case some form of domination or submission has been a part of all my long term adult relationships, even when I was trying to be vanilla.

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As always, your mileage may vary!

vield

(in reply to Lashra)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 7:56:27 AM   
onestandingstill


Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline 		I was a very sexual person from the day I lost my virginity at 16.
While I always followed my lovers I did not associate exhibitions ism, being led by my partner, or outrageous sexual acts with BDSM.
I thought people into S&M were mentally ill till I was woken up by a man at age 40.
He was an incredible vanilla a lover of mine and he'd always had the desire to do things  in the BDSM way since he was young.
I reluctantly agreed to some tame, non painful things on our next date.
It was mostly bondage and control stuff when it happened, but it flipped a switch in me I'll never be able to turn off again.
Unfortunately he decided he liked it better in his head after a few motnhs and it was not for him. I of course couldn't even consider a vanilla only lover ever again so we parted ways.
I was 41 & 2 days old before I began to explore S&M pain play and being a full submissive as an integral part of my needs and pleasure.
In reflection now I see I'd always fantasized I was a slave in another life and at times imagined being bound with my hands tied over my head and my feet tied much like if I was on a boat in a compartment tied into my bed or something.
I also lived the CInderella thing since I was 10 in my family of five though both my parents were blood parents and not step's.
My family used me as a service sub and accused me of being the lazy one when I did all the housework, cooking, and fetching for all of them.
So without realizing it most my life's path related to submission and service.
I think it had a lot to do with much of my choices since I was little I just didn't understand how or why I felt the way I did.
suzanne

(in reply to vield)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 7:57:59 AM   
childofpain


Posts: 44
Joined: 1/16/2007
Status: offline 		Master found me when i was 16...sat me down and told me what i was...i have been in heaven ever since.

(in reply to sadomasokisti)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 8:36:34 AM   
SlyStone


Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		My family used me as a service sub and accused me of being the lazy one when I did all the housework, cooking, and fetching for all of them.
So without realizing it most my life's path related to submission and service.


One can assume that your family had no idea what a "service sub" was, and even if they did you were a child,  so the label you are trying to apply does not fit. They may have used you, they may have treated you like shit, only you know that, but you were not a sub (read submissive) as we use that label here because you were not old enough to chose and your family was not a knowing participant in D/s.

When you confuse labels like this and attempt to show a path to D/s based on errant reasoning you do a disservice to yourself  and you appear to be confused between what is choice and what is not.



< Message edited by SlyStone -- 1/24/2007 8:47:56 AM >

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Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

(in reply to onestandingstill)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 8:58:29 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Do you REALLY want to get into a serious discussion of free will vs determinism vs biological imperatives?

As I always say- who we are is innate, how we express ourselves is not.

But that's just one view.

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Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to SlyStone)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 9:06:28 AM   
SlyStone


Posts: 398
Joined: 12/23/2006
From: Chicago
Status: offline 		Do you REALLY want to get into a serious discussion of free will vs determinism vs biological imperatives?


If my choice is that or the joys of toilet training and 100 ways to eat cum without choking than I am all ears.


_____________________________

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.

Anais Nin

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 9:24:00 AM   
thekajiracat


Posts: 28
Joined: 1/11/2005
From: South Carolina
Status: offline 		i became aware of the fact that i am submissive at the same age that i discovered and began to develop my sexuality. age 12.

(in reply to sadomasokisti)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 9:32:34 AM   
MistressYlwa


Posts: 263
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline 		I was 19

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Mistress Ylwa

You see what power is - holding someone elses fear in your hand and showing it to them! - Amy Tan

(in reply to thekajiracat)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 10:01:57 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Ditto on the hurting part.  And the age was about the same.  But I wasn't a late bloomer.  The interest was young, and the action was just a decade behind.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa
I can recall when I was about 5 years old, that when I "touched" myself, I liked it to hurt.    But it took me until age 40 to realize I was a sub.  What can I say......guess I am a late bloomer.  *L*



_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 10:04:11 AM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nyrisa

I can recall when I was about 5 years old, that when I "touched" myself, I liked it to hurt.  At 11 I was tying up my Barbies, and branding them.  Then in my early teens, I discovered the thinly veiled porno of seduction and force that is Romance novels.  But it took me until age 40 to realize I was a sub.  What can I say......guess I am a late bloomer.  *L*



My buddy and I used to torment his little sister by tying up and/or hanging her raggedy ann dolls.

In second grade my buddies and I had contests to see who could tie up other people without them being able to escape.  I almost always escaped, they almost always didnt.

Hit a point in my life where I did not feel the need to necessarily be in charge of people, just was pretty unwilling to let other people be in charge of me without my consent.

Just me, etc.

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

"Every so often you let a word or phrase out and you want to catch it and bring it back. You cant do that, it is gone, gone forever." J. Danforth Quayle


(in reply to nyrisa)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 10:05:17 AM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		Since I can remember my parents have asked why I am such a follower and not a leader. Heh. YES mother if they all jumped off the cliff I would too okay?

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*Unless I cite a source it is MO.


~ ssssh. i think i've just found freedom. ~

(in reply to Missokyst)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 2:33:21 PM   
Coupleseeking321


Posts: 43
Joined: 1/1/2007
Status: offline 		I've had fantasies relating to my submissive side since I was 10. I finally figured out what the heck it was all about at 17.

(in reply to cjenny)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 4:29:15 PM   
blackwinterbyrd


Posts: 112
Joined: 9/4/2006
Status: offline 		It's in the games that children play.  In the stories we told each other, with cages and prisoners and erotic tension and coercion and pain and so on.  

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 6:44:49 PM   
petdave


Posts: 2479
Status: offline 		Started doing self-bondage no later than five years old. At six years old daydreamed about a girl i had a crush on, involving scenarios that in retrospect were very clearly D/s. At 10 was writing stories involving bondage and semi-consensual sadism. At 12 learned what the terms "masochism" and "submissive" meant, and said, holy crap, that's me! By 16 decided that my eighteenth birthday present to myself would be to see a pro-Domme. At 17 finally dated, and was lucky enough to find a girl who would Top me. 

...dave

(in reply to blackwinterbyrd)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 7:00:19 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Do you REALLY want to get into a serious discussion of free will vs determinism vs biological imperatives?


I've always thought of the second and third as being pretty much the same thing.  And such discussions make my head hurt.

MaryT

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 40
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