RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub?

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RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 7:33:50 PM

fairerthanshe

Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline

i totally did the Barbie and GI Joe thing too...he would save her from something and to show her gratitude she would striptease for him and then they would end up under the blanket together...i was preschool age...

i was 10 the first time i saw a woman in a dog collar...thought it was the most beautiful thing i'd ever seen...

didn't fully awaken to 'what it all meant' until my late 20's

fairer than she

(in reply to isis1013)

Post #: 41

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 10:35:42 PM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

First sexual memory, I couldn't have been more than 7, watching TV, they had a girl tied up (one of those long legged, no bra on, California 70's blondes) and were getting ready to make her walk the plank-instant sensuality. Fanaticized about B/D and then S/M for years afterwards and always felt somewhat ashamed of myself. Society places such a PC expectation on treating all peoples as equals and the idea of tying women up and just dominating them, especially some of the stuff that I manufactured in my rapidly adolescent mind seemed dichotomous towards what those around me would have labeled decent public behavior of a man of my type.

Then, ahhhh, the moment still holds its strength these many years later, I ran across a book called "My Secret Garden," by Nancy Friday. A book filled with real women’s sexual fantasies as told to a psychiatrist, and it had a whole chapter on bondage. It blew me apart, for the first time I realized I wasn't alone, or some twisted freak, but that the thoughts and desires that I had were considered reasonable and normal by psychiatry and in some aspects could be called healthy extensions of an active fantasy life. The crusher was that women, real women, not only thought about the things that I did, but desired it too, deeply and willingly, that there were women out there who needed it, just as I needed to be able to give it to them. Changed me forever, three years later met a young girl who had ping pong paddles and had never in her life owned a ping pong table. The whistle blew, the game was on and its been an adventure that I have spent the last 22 years learning about.

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 42

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 10:44:15 PM

SlaveAkasha

Posts: 726
Joined: 9/30/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline

It was around my pre-teen years or so..it didn't really pick up until my fantasy life kicked in though and I always loved being tied up and things like that. Non-sexually.. I have always been someone that liked to please others and would put them first. It seems very normal for me to make Master important and to want him content in his life. Outside of this relationship though, I prefer to have control over things and am actually a control freak... it was nice to learn that many subs/slaves are also and that my feelings of needing control otherwise didn't make me any less submissive in my relationship.

Kasha

_____________________________

Look, if you want to torture me, spank me, lick me, do it. But if this poetry shit continues just shoot me now please.
~ Tank Girl

www.peta.org
www.goveg.com

(in reply to Kana)

Post #: 43

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 11:15:31 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

The first fantasies and daydreams were in grade school.
The first explorations in high school. And I did not
have the vocabulary to describe these desires and experiences
until reaching adulthood.

Parochial schooling twists you in all sorts of ways.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)

Post #: 44

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/24/2007 11:26:55 PM

littlesarbonn

Posts: 1710
Joined: 12/3/2005
From: Stockton, California
Status: offline

Right after the time she removed me from the cage for the next in a series of endless beatings did I finally realize I must be a submissive. Before then, I just kind of thought I was going through yet another series of bizarre dating rituals. To be honest, up until that final beating, I was just glad not to have to figure out how to include the sea lions in the mating rituals. I won't even get into that whole episode with the gerbils and the toasters.

_____________________________

<---- FYI, this picture looks JUST like me

http://www.littlesarbonn.com/Stickman/Stickman.htm
The Adventures of Stickman and the Unemployed Lego Spaceman

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)

Post #: 45

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/25/2007 12:05:37 AM

lapresence

Posts: 94
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline

It was absolutely no later than 7, because I remember this very elaborate fantasy about being in a harem. My mom had gotten one of those (then) new shower heads that you could remove and pulsed (rather hard and painfully). My bestfriend was over and we were showering. I told her my fantasy, and how the Sultan had declared that we were to punish each other using the shower head for his pleasure. We took turns bending over and being "punished" with the shower head.

Didn't find out there was a name for what I was until I discovered the lifestyle at 19, however. Got through the years in between by being sneaky (taping soft porn off of Cinemax and watching it before my mom got home from work - lol).

(in reply to littlesarbonn)

Post #: 46

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/25/2007 1:36:49 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

I remember having submissive fantasies at the age of ten. There was a cute boy in my fifth grade class at school that I had a crush on, and I used to dream he was dressed up as a knight, and that I had fainted and he'd picked me up and carried me off, somewhere. Stuff like that.

- Susan

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to fairerthanshe)

Post #: 47

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/25/2007 4:09:25 AM

Jewel1985

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlaveAkasha

".......and I always loved being tied up and things like that."....." Non-sexually.. I have always been someone that liked to please others and would put them first. Outside of this relationship though, I prefer to have control over things and am actually a control freak..."

thank you....it's really good to know that that's normal.............

_____________________________

"submission is the greatest most intense gift one human being can give to another."
jewel :)

(in reply to SlaveAkasha)

Post #: 48

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/25/2007 4:42:45 AM

Jewel1985

Posts: 5
Joined: 1/8/2007
Status: offline

i'm not sure of the exact age, 8 or 9 i think, but i remember having very vivid rape fantasies as a child. i supressed them until i was 21 thinking for sure that something was wrong w/ me. right after my 21st birthday i met the man who introduced me to BDSM and became my first Dom

the minute He mentioned He saw submissive tendencies in me (and then explained what that meant) i swear i felt a lightbulb go off in my head....i was like "THATS WHY!!!!!!" lol it's been 3 months now and i enjoyed every minute of it. W/we've since parted ways but i'm here now and i plan on staying for the long haul!

_____________________________

"submission is the greatest most intense gift one human being can give to another."
jewel :)

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)

Post #: 49

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/25/2007 6:34:40 AM

onestandingstill

Posts: 1335
Joined: 8/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SlyStone

My family used me as a service sub and accused me of being the lazy one when I did all the housework, cooking, and fetching for all of them.
So without realizing it most my life's path related to submission and service.

One can assume that your family had no idea what a "service sub" was, and even if they did you were a child, so the label you are trying to apply does not fit. They may have used you, they may have treated you like shit, only you know that, but you were not a sub (read submissive) as we use that label here because you were not old enough to chose and your family was not a knowing participant in D/s.

When you confuse labels like this and attempt to show a path to D/s based on errant reasoning you do a disservice to yourself and you appear to be confused between what is choice and what is not.

Hello Sly Stone,
I thank you for voicing your opinion.
I rather feel since I was in service to my family in my vanilla life my inate need to serve to feel useful and secure comes from submitting in vanilla ways to my family.
I think many things we do as children condition our adult lives choices.
I accept you don't agree and thank you for your thoughts.
suzanne

(in reply to SlyStone)

Post #: 50

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/25/2007 7:07:46 AM

smirkingsheep

Posts: 45
Joined: 1/5/2007
Status: offline

I've been having elaborate fantasies about being degraded and humilated ever since I could remember. I can't even look at a garbage truck now. (Apparently it's just the beginning of the places the lowest of the low go to a four year old...) I got off on that until I realized that sex wasn't gross and I could get off on the idea of being denied orgasms.
Sometime between the time I was 12 and 14, I found things about BDSM online. I don't recall any specific event so I guess it didn't come as a suprise.

(in reply to onestandingstill)

Post #: 51

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/26/2007 4:38:54 AM

Philosopher

Posts: 23
Joined: 8/5/2006
Status: offline

It was from an early age. I can remember in early primary school having fantasies about tying up the school principal naked, even though I didn't know what an adult man looked like naked.

And I had some other fantasies that alternated between being the bad guy and tying up boys and stuff, and being the good guy and rescuing them where they would be very grateful.

Also I liked the games of mercy. I didn't like the part where I had to endure the pain, but I lasted longer than the boys and I enjoyed watching them beg for mercy.

Then around the time of puberty I started sexualising these sorts of fantasies, and thinking there was something wrong with me.

I would light up when watching a movie or show where a guy got tied up by a bad guy or something. My parents noticed things like this and called me a sadist in a negative tone of voice.

When I looked in the dictionary it said something like a perversion where someone derives sexual pleasure from anothers pain. I didn't think that was me. I mostly enjoyed the thought of tying a guy up and teasing and tormenting him and making him a bit uncomfortable, not really hurting him.

Then at 18 when I started cybering and reading erotica, one guy asked me if I was dominant. I asked him what that was and he referred me to a few sites. It was such a relief to know there were others like me and that I wasn't evil.

(in reply to smirkingsheep)

Post #: 52

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/26/2007 2:06:56 PM

SCDommie

Posts: 176
Joined: 1/24/2007
Status: offline

OK.

I guess I am one of the youngest here. I was 9 years old when I started self-spanking and urine depreviation. That is my own term for it because I had no clue what it was until I finally came out four years ago.
It never went out of my mind.
I tried to spank my male cousin around 10 years old. LOL
I don't think he remembers it.
My feelings started long before the internet. Thanks to the internet, I found my answers.

Respectfully, SC Dommie

(in reply to MaryT)

Post #: 53

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/26/2007 4:08:44 PM

maiden1971

Posts: 12
Joined: 5/30/2006
Status: offline

Hmmm - I think others saw my 'nature' prior to my acknowledging it myself. Although I was trying to get boyfriends to tie me up, I did not accept the fact that I am a submissive. I would have to say that I finally admitted and came to terms with it when I was 19.

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 54

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/26/2007 5:04:21 PM

shadevarr

Posts: 360
Joined: 7/2/2006
Status: offline

Got a name for it when I was 21 and got involved with a switch but prior to that I have had the fantasies and dreams since I was 8. They were all about controlling another person and I oddly I never throught I was wierd for having them because I got to act out a few of them over the years so it was a very slow and natural progression to where I am.

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 55

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/26/2007 5:37:13 PM

junecleaver

Posts: 1145
Joined: 4/6/2005
Status: offline

Looking back through my BDSM colored glasses, I can identify several childhood quirks that could be labeled submissive or kinky. I've had submissive fantasies, rape fantasies, objectification fantasies since I was maybe 10 or 11? I started reading about BDSM at age 13. When my friends were talking about how cute some guy was, I was secretly fantasizing about being bossed around and objectified by my history teacher. I accepted that I basically fell under the submissive label at age 14. I sometimes wonder how much of this is -really- natural to me and how much I allowed the information I was taking in to shape me while I was growing up. I wonder how into power exchange and humiliation I would be otherwise. I filled my mind with a bunch of information that I wasn't necessarily ready to process and it pointed out needs that maybe I would have recognized much later in life without the internet and without the weird repercussions it has brought.

_____________________________

"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; there's too much fraternizing with the enemy. "
--Henry A. Kissinger

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 56

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/26/2007 7:54:43 PM

TemptingNviceSub

Posts: 3054
Joined: 10/1/2005
Status: offline

It has waxed and waned throughout my years on this earth...full realization with a name and knowledge?......46........Tempting

(in reply to thaimeeuppppp)

Post #: 57

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/26/2007 8:10:38 PM

BlackKnight

Posts: 767
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

7, 8 somewhere in there, I used to dream I owned slaves, and used to 'love' the female ones. 21 when I brought it into practice, and I spanked my fiance which led to our breaking up (really hard, bad, rough time in my life)

_____________________________

'Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.'
Life of Reason, Reason in Common Sense, Scribner's, 1905, page 284"
George Santayana

Just because I'm paranoid, doesn't mean they're not out to get me!

(in reply to TemptingNviceSub)

Post #: 58

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/26/2007 8:27:36 PM

slo18

Posts: 125
Status: offline

I remeber playing games where I would be the damsel in distress and I would be tied to a tree. I liked those games i couldent have been more then 4 or 5 at the time, when i was nine I relised liked being told what to do and pleaseing people when i was 16 I had a name for it submissive. and at the same time I met my first Dom.

_____________________________

if god and the adorer call, tell them my prophet shall call their prophet, for I am in meetings verily till the end of time.

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 59

RE: How old were you when u realized you were Dom or sub? - 1/28/2007 6:41:52 PM

KawtionsBrat

Posts: 18
Joined: 1/28/2007
Status: offline

18 He was 28 and He father congradulated him on becoming a man and finding a Woman who knew her place

(in reply to sadomasokisti)

Post #: 60

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