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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I prefer someone who wants to be of service and who wants to submit.

Just like I want students who want to learn. Unlike with my students whom I'm paid to try and teach though, I can and do dismiss someone who refuses to learn or to try during training. Sorry, I get enough headaches like that in my mundane life and I get paid for those headaches.

A person who submits and serves isn't "whipped" or weak or anything else close to that. They get pleasure from helping others and from submitting. It takes great strength to admit that and follow that path, especially if you are male in a dying patriarchy.

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ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

You'll get split opinions about this. Personally, I prefer one who already wants, and is willing, to serve obediently. I tend to see the others as immature in their self development, be that true or not. Either they want to serve or they don't.

Master Fire

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ORIGINAL: bludemonn

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

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ORIGINAL: bludemonn

OK serious question, i'd like to know whether the general consensus amongst the female dominants of this group is to either opt for a submissive at the start who is already obedient or whether they enjoy actually 'dominating' a difficult but willing 'slave'? Would you prefer him 'whipped' already or to put up a little resistance?

Those aren't really the two choices.

I prefer someone who wants to be of service and who wants to submit.

Just like I want students who want to learn. Unlike with my students whom I'm paid to try and teach though, I can and do dismiss someone who refuses to learn or to try during training. Sorry, I get enough headaches like that in my mundane life and I get paid for those headaches.

A person who submits and serves isn't "whipped" or weak or anything else close to that. They get pleasure from helping others and from submitting. It takes great strength to admit that and follow that path, especially if you are male in a dying patriarchy.

Ofcourse TammyJo,

Point taken but I have come accross two distinct types of Dominant personality, those who like to set the scene and have a sub know their place and serve and those who detest an already submissive slave, the prefer the little struggle before finally taking their sub into submission.

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ORIGINAL: Real0ne

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I prefer someone who wants to be of service and who wants to submit.

Just like I want students who want to learn. Unlike with my students whom I'm paid to try and teach though, I can and do dismiss someone who refuses to learn or to try during training. Sorry, I get enough headaches like that in my mundane life and I get paid for those headaches.

A person who submits and serves isn't "whipped" or weak or anything else close to that. They get pleasure from helping others and from submitting. It takes great strength to admit that and follow that path, especially if you are male in a dying patriarchy.

learning what? i chuckle at all the emphasis dominants put on learning. now i am sure you know how to balance your checking account but you would be shocked how many cannot and still feel a sub should learn from them and they deserve to be in control... it seems to me slave and whipped are synonomous. Whats the difference in application?

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ORIGINAL: thetammyjo

I think there is this stereotype that slaves are completely submissive, they have no say, no limits, no rights. Yet none of the owner-slave families or couples I have ever met and respected fit that category.

I earned that responsibility through our interactions, through my consistancy, through my plans for success, and through my code of ethics and honor.

He earned the responsibility to become my slave through his own work as well.

He does not earn it through being weak. He earns it through respect, through action, through forethought, through attentiveness, and through obedience. Several of those categories require him to be strong of will, strong of body, strong of character, and strong of spirit.

If you've never been in a owner-slave dynamic or a 24/7 Ds dynamic, it might be very difficult for you to understand what I'm trying to explain. Words limit my ability to create a clearer imagine.

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ORIGINAL: bludemonn
OK serious question, i'd like to know whether the general consensus amongst the female dominants of this group is to either opt for a submissive at the start who is already obedient or whether they enjoy actually 'dominating' a difficult but willing 'slave'? Would you prefer him 'whipped' already or to put up a little resistance?

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ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

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ORIGINAL: bludemonn
OK serious question, i'd like to know whether the general consensus amongst the female dominants of this group is to either opt for a submissive at the start who is already obedient or whether they enjoy actually 'dominating' a difficult but willing 'slave'? Would you prefer him 'whipped' already or to put up a little resistance?

My preference is for a slave who is respectful and obedient from the beginning, not one who needs to be "broken" or "beaten into submission."
 
That being said, I'm not looking for someone who is incapable of saying anything but "Yes, Ma'am."  That gets boring real fast.  I like a slave who is able to converse intelligently on a variety of subjects.  He need not agree with Me about everything as long as he is polite and respectful in voicing his opinions.
 
Lady Topaz 

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ORIGINAL: bludemonn

OK serious question, i'd like to know whether the general consensus amongst the female dominants of this group is to either opt for a submissive at the start who is already obedient or whether they enjoy actually 'dominating' a difficult but willing 'slave'? Would you prefer him 'whipped' already or to put up a little resistance?

I once met a Domme that I'd initially offended by not showing her the courtesy that in her mind she thought was due her as a dominant.  She suddenly became greatly interested in me after I told her that yes, I was submissive, but that I was not Her submissive and to my mind she was due no more courtesy than any other woman unless she happened to become my Mistress.  After that, I became a challenge that greatly intrigued her.  I think Mistresses enjoy the "chase" and still like to be courted like any other woman, but not by a man who rolls over for them like a dog.  They'll enjoy getting the latter part later.  

As much as anything, I believe they want a submissive they feel is of value as a person, one that adds to the quality of their life; a man they can be proud of, both in and out of the lifestyle.  With that said, I'm positive there are exceptions as each woman is unique and will have her own desires.

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I once met a Domme that I'd initially offended by not showing her the courtesy that in her mind she thought was due her as a dominant.  She suddenly became greatly interested in me after I told her that yes, I was submissive, but that I was not Her submissive and to my mind she was due no more courtesy than any other woman unless she happened to become my Mistress.

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ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

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I once met a Domme that I'd initially offended by not showing her the courtesy that in her mind she thought was due her as a dominant.  She suddenly became greatly interested in me after I told her that yes, I was submissive, but that I was not Her submissive and to my mind she was due no more courtesy than any other woman unless she happened to become my Mistress.

This would be all well and good with me if it was some type of special consideration and not simply the common courtesy all people should expect.  I have been on the receiving end of downright rude behavior while the submissive uses the "excuse" of "well I am not YOUR sub."  To me, this means that he also has zero chance of ever becoming my sub.  I expect to be treated with decency by all people and I try to treat people well also. 

Personally, I like a challenge but my idea of a challenge is finding new ways to grow and push each other in our relationship to keep it fun, fresh and exciting.  It is not a combative situation where the underlying obedience, respect and common courtesy is continually at odds. 

With a submissive of mine, I expect him to be able to communicate when he may feel uncomfortable or uneasy about a particular activity or order.  That allows me to gauge whether I want to continue or not.  My ultimate goal is to push and grow, not to damage.  If it is something particularly difficult, the challenge may come in presenting it in a way that is more palatable or alleviating the concerns so he does it. 

So, for me, I like a challenge but I do not like someone who makes me feel like every thing about the relationship is a constant power struggle.

As you well know, every Dominant Woman has her own preferences as to how she'd like to be addressed or treated by a submissive.  Without being her submissive and receiving direction, I'd only be guessing regarding her preference.  As the subject had not been addressed when I came into contact with her, I simply treated her with the same respect as I would any other person I'd just met.  I really don't view it as having been my problem, particularly not one of having been impolite.