RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (Full Version)

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Amaros -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 6:38:49 AM)

I like fetish gear, but it can be a bit impractical - anything can be sexy if it fits well and is worn with the right attitude. I've had a fetish for maids uniforms sicne I saw Blood and Roses - it was the first time I'd ever seen Jennifer Lopez I think, and that big ass in that tight, fitted maids uniform, mmm...



VirginSoccerBoy -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 6:47:41 AM)

I never liked leather outfits for play. I like regular clothes, or no clothes at all, either of those is fine with me.

Since I have a fettish for feet and legs, I like sport gear like uniforms and such.

To each his own[;)]



junecleaver -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 7:14:32 AM)

It's hard for me to take fetish gear seriously.  Some of it is hot.  Some of it makes me laugh.  Some of it is hot and makes me laugh at the same time.  It doesn't really matter.  I assume that when someone is wearing something fetishy they are wearing it for themselves or for their partner, not me.



SimplyMichael -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 7:46:19 AM)

It is funny how many dominants dress like crap.  That was one of the reasons I formed my first BDSM group, I couldn't believe people showed up wearing dirty worn jeans and or threw a bag of tacos down as food.

I love it all, show up as a goth chick at my door and you are likely to be thrown into the basement and used as a sex slave till I run out of semen which as far as I know I have never yet managed to do.  So yes, goth is hot for me but I have yet to have one, long story, but a hint for anyone who is interested.

I have worn tuxedos and suits and almost always did when I ran the group.  I broke down an bought leather pants but not going to parties enough there is something wrong with them as they seem to have shrunk?

I LOVE it when women wear something different.  I had a woman who I think would have loved that line "elegant slut" as she would do things like wear white corsets and outfits at an all black event.  She stood out anyway but that didn't hurt.  I still miss those tall white boots, did I mention my knees go week for tall boots?  Other things do the opposite but that is life.

Okay, I am all over the place, what the hell was the question?  Oh yeah "what to do" do whatever the hell you want to do, that is what I do, or at least do whatever the person you are trying to make hard or wet needs to get hard or wet.



LaTigresse -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 7:56:02 AM)

I am not into "costume" dress persay. The few times I attended a public event I just dressed similar to what I normally would going out with an extra edge. Boots and skirt little higher, an extra button on the white shirt unbuttoned. Makeup a wee bit more dramatic. Enough so that I just know my grandma and great aunt would be spinning in their graves.[:D]

Mild compared to others but I have a sense of style all my own that works well for me.



MyMasterStephen -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 7:56:33 AM)

To me, most men in rubber or leather gear look like they're either gays or gimps.  I am neither, so I avoid fetishwear for myself.

In response to SimplyMichael, I have wondered at times about Dommes who always dress up to the nines in all the gear.  Do they feel they need to conform to some kind of "Domme ideal"?  If so, then for whom are they dressing: themselves or their audience?  And if they are dressing for the pleasure of others, who then is really calling the shots?  To me, a true Domme shouldn't give a monkey's about what other people think: she should do as she damn well pleases, and stuff anyone who doesn't like it.



Amaros -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 7:59:10 AM)

I do like the institutional uniforms as opposed to the stereotypical fetish style uniforms - but I'd have to say that nothing but a collar is pretty hot. I tend to favor bondage gear for practical reasons, lashing points, etc. - when I said it was impractical, I meant you can't really wear it outside of the house, except on rare occasion.

I like it all too, Goth get me going, for sure, there's something about those pointy toed Victorian lace up boots - but an elegant Satin evening gown with a string of pearls, lacy underthings, maybe a garter belt, hair up in formal style - very hot - but spandex body suits, tight skirts, heels, hose - it's all good.



bandit25 -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 7:59:29 AM)

Guys in leather chaps are HOT



Amaros -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 8:03:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MyMasterStephen

To me, most men in rubber or leather gear look like they're either gays or gimps.  I am neither, so I avoid fetishwear for myself.

In response to SimplyMichael, I have wondered at times about Dommes who always dress up to the nines in all the gear.  Do they feel they need to conform to some kind of "Domme ideal"?  If so, then for whom are they dressing: themselves or their audience?  And if they are dressing for the pleasure of others, who then is really calling the shots?  To me, a true Domme shouldn't give a monkey's about what other people think: she should do as she damn well pleases, and stuff anyone who doesn't like it.


It sets the mood, heightens the anticipation, there is a definite psychological effect involved.



DiurnalVampire -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 8:04:41 AM)

I dont like fetishwear.  Never have.  I do like my boys in panties and other girl clothes but I dont think thats a fetish as much as it is a preference to furthering their submission.

DV



petdave -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 8:18:41 AM)

There are some stereotypical BDSM costumes that i find very sleazy and laughable, there are others i worship. As long as you don't look like a slob, you'll generally find acceptance in a group. 



thetammyjo -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 10:48:31 AM)

Frankly I hate most fetish clothing and I use only equipment I need and desire.

For me BDSM is really about Ds and SM -- neither those are fetishes or clothing specific. I personally think the clothes and stuff are part of the eye candy and the props that some people either want or feel they need to use to help them get into the state of mind that makes them feel dommish or subbish.

I don't need help to get into that state of mine other than the help that is all ready inside myself and between my slave and I.



RumpusParable -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 11:03:46 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thaimeeuppppp

Although I am sub I really have never liked all the BDSM costumes that seem to be so much a part of it. I mean I like whipes and handcuffs as much as the next deviant but I am more attacted to people in their regular clothes. The black leather and criss cross straps lend too much of a sameness. Just wondering if anyone else felt that way.


So far, every question of yours that I've seen so far has looked to come from the mindset of their being one standard, one way... a view of the BDSM world as basically homogenous. 

Do you view non-BDSM interactions and people this way, too?  Because those of us in the lifestyle are no different from the vanilla-oriented folks:  each person is an individual.  There are trends, tendencies, cliques, traditions, quirks, fashion, and shared interests but these leave an infinite amount of space for personal variation.  Each person has their own path in the mix of commonalities and some barely relate to them at all.

You'll do yourself a world of good in both the BDSM realm and in vanilla life if you grow past this way of viewing folks.

To the specific question this time:  I like some parts of BDSM-prone or intended costumes, clothing and gear.  Other parts I've zero interest in or even find laughable.  I enjoy variety in look and feel... what can and is done with them in vanilla and non-vanilla areas of dress. -And there is much more done in the non-vanilla world than the style of "black leather and criss cross straps" you refer to. If you want to know specifics, you'll need ask a more specific question.



Siona -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 12:31:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: HerEmeraldEyes

Even when he's at leisure he's in dress pants and white, frilled shirts.  I must say that it is incredibly sexy to me to see men dressed that way.  But then again, I think just about anything with long hair is sexy LOL

Lady Emerald
(edited for mega spelling errors)


I can totally relate!



fufured -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 1:02:45 PM)

i am so looking forward to my first bdsm event with my Master and never really thought about attire.  something else to worry about!!



CreativeDominant -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 1:17:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: thaimeeuppppp

Although I am sub I really have never liked all the BDSM costumes that seem to be so much a part of it. I mean I like whipes and handcuffs as much as the next deviant but I am more attacted to people in their regular clothes. The black leather and criss cross straps lend too much of a sameness. Just wondering if anyone else felt that way.


Personally, for me it depends on the event I am going to.  If I am going to a leather event, I have a leather jacket or vest that I wear with a stark white dress shirt.  Other times, I dress the way I usually do although, as LaT noted, with an edge.  For me that sometimes means that same stark white dress shirt, black jeans, gray leather cowboy boots and other times, it means a dark purple dress shirt with gray dress slacks and highly polished black dress shoes with a silver studded belt rather than my normal "office" black belt. (it makes a great whipping tool with those studs, too).  As for the women, I enjoy seeing them in minis or corsets or domina outfits or nurse/cop uniform or in short, tight tanks and jeans that are cut in the right places or clean, neat, tidy clothes that are a bit dressy.  My tastes run the gamut except for Goth...never been attracted to it and can't get past some of the more extreme looks.  ~shrugs~  my preference. 

Yes, I will admit that some of the looks I've seen have brought out a secret smile on my face but I stop short of laughing because I realize that, to some, I may look ridiculous.



MasterWilliam55 -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 1:27:59 PM)

I've never been comfortable with the whole leather look in myself. At a fetish event I will wear a tailored black linen suite. Black vest and white tuxedo shirt. When I play at a fetish event I take off the suitcoat, hand it to a service slave and play with whomever. Afterwards, I retrieve the suitcoat and change my shirt. .I was never a jeans and teashirt sort of guy. I did buy a leather suit once, but my sub at the time said, "your not nearly as sexy" guess what? I haven't worn it since.

I have a surprise for the new sub I'm courting. When she comes over, she'll find me in my underwear, teashirt, drinking a can of beer and watching foorball on TV while I slouch on the couch.  I'll report back.



windchymes -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 1:35:22 PM)

I'm personally not a fan of latex or rubber clothing/gear.  And, the leather straps & studs look  doesn't impress me either.  I do like a guy dressed in black, totally in black (like Regis, black shirt, black silk tie, if a tie is worn).

I think plain black silk boxer shorts are incredibly sexy, but thongs that have elephant heads or other merry-go-round critters over the penis are just too hilarious to take seriously.



ExSteelAgain -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 1:45:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

quote:

ORIGINAL: thaimeeuppppp

Although I am sub I really have never liked all the BDSM costumes that seem to be so much a part of it. I mean I like whipes and handcuffs as much as the next deviant but I am more attacted to people in their regular clothes. The black leather and criss cross straps lend too much of a sameness. Just wondering if anyone else felt that way.


So far, every question of yours that I've seen so far has looked to come from the mindset of their being one standard, one way... a view of the BDSM world as basically homogenous. 


I think there are those who have some sort of relationship with CM that come up with some of these threads. They have few posts and always come up with knee jerk subjects written in a common style. So what, it makes it interesting and keeps things moving. Better than me dying of boredom on my computer at work or home.



Noah -> RE: what if you love BDSM but dont like the usual gear? (1/27/2007 6:20:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fufured

i am so looking forward to my first bdsm event with my Master and never really thought about attire.  something else to worry about!!


Having read the range of thoughtful opinions in this thread I hope you can rest easy in the awareness that attire is an inflated concern.

(But honestly, why do they always have to be black?)



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