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RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 12:28:41 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Those who play at all this use tiny little pathetic labels like D/s and BDSM to impress others, they even capitalize them to further pretend they mean something.

Those rare and very special people who aspire to something deeper and richer call what we do ASS, Amazing Spiritual Sexuality.  What we do is so much more spiritual, sophisticated, intense, edgy, real, true and I could other words but I am sure you wouldn't understand them or grasp their significance.

(in reply to griffn)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 1:34:23 PM   
Celeste43


Posts: 3066
Joined: 2/4/2006
From: NYS
Status: offline 		BDSM is commonly interpreted as Bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism and masochism. Under that definition D/s does qualify as part of it. But nobody ever said you have to do it all. I know rope tops with zero interest in power exchange. I know sadists with zero interest in bondage. It's just a handy way to refer to what we're into, a starting point for the conversation as it were.

(in reply to maiden1971)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 2:36:24 PM   
darkclouds


Posts: 29
Joined: 11/6/2006
Status: offline 		.


< Message edited by darkclouds -- 1/28/2007 2:38:53 PM >

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 3:12:02 PM   
julietsierra


Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

What we do is so much more spiritual, sophisticated, intense, edgy, real, true and I could other words but I am sure you wouldn't understand them or grasp their significance.


And I'm wondering why it is that in virtually every post you make, there is quality, and yet, you nearly always end it with a generalized insult.

You once said you were watching this because you used to be domineering and were trying to not do that anymore.  But in the quest for dominance, I'd say your domineering is showing again Michael. And what a shame too since what you say withOUT cutting people down is usually quite good.

juliet

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 3:28:08 PM   
Carrianna


Posts: 273
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline 		I soooooooo enjoy reading these messages..........

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 3:33:08 PM   
michaels4evr


Posts: 184
Joined: 8/8/2006
Status: offline 		i look at BDSM as my sexual orientation and D/s as my lifestyle choice...however, when I'm lazy I do use either to cover it all..usually when in conversation with someone I can tell what they mean when they say D/s vs. BDSM..never have i debated vocab as much as i have since I entered this ASSine world.

(in reply to Carrianna)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 3:57:38 PM   
MasterGremlin


Posts: 230
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline 		I'm sorry, I'm just not seeing this "umbrella" that E/everyone keeps talking about unless Y/you would like to group everything under the heading "Human Sexuality".    The other thing I am a bit confused about is the apearent need for so many to "label" or "pidgeon-hole" . 
It is not the word that defines me, it is I that defines me.  There is no label, no word that defines me, or sums me up.  I simply "am".
Both Master and I believe that when O/one starts putting labels on T/themselves and O/others it both limits possiblilities and unnecessarily complicates issues (as I believe W/we are seeing in this thread).

Humbley,
minxy

(in reply to Carrianna)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 4:04:56 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		N/nobody I/is P/putting L/labels O/on A/anybody.  S/someone I/is J/just T/trying T/to F/figure O/out W/where D/s F/fits I/into T/the W/whole P/picture.

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(in reply to MasterGremlin)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 4:39:05 PM   
twicehappy


Posts: 2706
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

There's a major difference between relationships which have authority transfers INHERENT to them, and relationships which have authority transfer as the conscious FOUNDATION for them. 


I have not seen this better stated any where else. Well done LA.

quote:

  See I don't see that.  I've given floggings to people and it was just us having fun.  They didn't transfer anything to me, heck we could have been braiding eachothers hair.


Lol, been there done that(with another female), we were simply having fun with the sheer physicality of it. Pretty much grinning and carrying on the same way we did over doing each others make up or something.

_____________________________

Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combinations.

The human heart is not a finite container but an ever expanding universe with all the stars contained there in.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 4:46:44 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

There's a major difference between relationships which have authority transfers INHERENT to them, and relationships which have authority transfer as the conscious FOUNDATION for them. 


I have not seen this better stated any where else. Well done LA.

quote:

  See I don't see that.  I've given floggings to people and it was just us having fun.  They didn't transfer anything to me, heck we could have been braiding eachothers hair.


Lol, been there done that(with another female), we were simply having fun with the sheer physicality of it. Pretty much grinning and carrying on the same way we did over doing each others make up or something.


Thanks Twice, I very much appreciate it, specially coming from ou.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 4:49:17 PM   
cjenny


Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
Status: offline 		I'm really enjoying this topic. Has anyone else noticed that there is a strong thread of agreement? A small difference in semantics but many of the posts and thoughts are running along a similiar vein.
Oh, I live a D/s lifestyle and I'm involved with BDSM. That is todays definition lol.

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(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 5:04:24 PM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

Let me put it this way.  It is impossible to have a bondage scene without a power exchange.  One person has to have control.  There is the top and the bottom.  It is impossible to have a discipline scene without control.  It is impossible to have a D/s dynamic without control and a power exchange.  It is impossible to have an S&M session without control.  Without the control/power exchange umbrella there is no dynamic.  That is all there is to it.


hmm i have a thought on this....Im a D/s  kind of girl....I am sooo not into S &M....Ther are a few people on here that knwo that I am sooo not a pain puppy...and i have no tolerance on it...for me for me to involve mysel fin a BDSM relationship there has to be some typ eof D/s goign on....However...I have witnessed on more than one occassion..I have witness people that just liked to get spanked, paddled or what ever  and some others  just liket he after glow...I was amazed that these ladies...Yes ladies were able to just carry on a conversation whilest being paddled about...I cant even take  aregular shot at all and here they were talking to each other whilest the tops worked up a sweat paddling and what not...power exchange?  um  i didnt see any...

For me a D/s relationship is not based upon sex..it is a psychological connection   I do not understand the insistance that it is all the same...I suppose it all does fall under a common umbrella  becasue all of the activities which are as varied as the peopelt hat enjoy and participate in them do.....but just as a cantalope is not a watermelon even though they both are in a fruit salad...bdsm is the fruit salad the cantalope is the D/s...I hate watermelon!!!

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 5:08:46 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Uhm, that was sarcasm....I thought the acronmyn ASS was a dead giveaway but I guess not.

(in reply to julietsierra)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 5:15:29 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		What is funny is D/s as a seperate concept is only a recent concept.  In the Leatherman's Handbook, written by and to some extent for "old guard" leatherman in the early 1970s it only refers to two types "S" for sadist and "M" for masochist.  In Dossie Easton's classic, written after the emergence of a full blown Het scene in SF, and which was called The Bottoming Book didn't draw a real distinctikon between any of this. 

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 5:17:29 PM   
obey1


Posts: 227
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

Uhm, that was sarcasm....I thought the acronmyn ASS was a dead giveaway but I guess not.


Oh, goodie!  I was just about to flame you!  ha ha!  You got me!

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 5:23:03 PM   
MasterGremlin


Posts: 230
Joined: 12/30/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirKenin

N/nobody I/is P/putting L/labels O/on A/anybody.  S/someone I/is J/just T/trying T/to F/figure O/out W/where D/s F/fits I/into T/the W/whole P/picture.


And mocking my respect for A/all is how You would answer?

If You read carefully, You will notice that I didn't say A/anyone was putting labels on O/others.  

Sincerely,
minxy

(in reply to SirKenin)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 5:27:15 PM   
obey1


Posts: 227
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SimplyMichael

What is funny is D/s as a seperate concept is only a recent concept.  In the Leatherman's Handbook, written by and to some extent for "old guard" leatherman in the early 1970s it only refers to two types "S" for sadist and "M" for masochist.  In Dossie Easton's classic, written after the emergence of a full blown Het scene in SF, and which was called The Bottoming Book didn't draw a real distinctikon between any of this. 


That is a fact, ladies and gentlemen!  That was my point from the beginning.  All capital letters MUST be followed by some lowercase letter or the Terrorists have won.

By the way, have you gotten the Steven Segal thing ever?

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 5:28:49 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		I have always thought segal was hot as hell.

(in reply to obey1)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 5:34:38 PM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: twicehappy

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

There's a major difference between relationships which have authority transfers INHERENT to them, and relationships which have authority transfer as the conscious FOUNDATION for them. 


I have not seen this better stated any where else. Well done LA.


I second that completely.  Thanks, LA!  That's a a wonderfully concise way to explain the power exchange in my relationship.  I think I may have to steal that definition away from you.  :)



_____________________________

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Serving alongside ciarra

(in reply to twicehappy)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: D/s versus BDSM - 1/28/2007 5:34:51 PM   
obey1


Posts: 227
Joined: 11/26/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterGremlin

I'm sorry, I'm just not seeing this "umbrella" that E/everyone keeps talking about unless Y/you would like to group everything under the heading "Human Sexuality".    The other thing I am a bit confused about is the apearent need for so many to "label" or "pidgeon-hole" . 
It is not the word that defines me, it is I that defines me.  There is no label, no word that defines me, or sums me up.  I simply "am".
Both Master and I believe that when O/one starts putting labels on T/themselves and O/others it both limits possiblilities and unnecessarily complicates issues (as I believe W/we are seeing in this thread).

Humbley,
minxy


Oh, geez.  So no labels, ever?  Damn!  That's the whole reason I got into this ASS/Wiitwd/BDSM because I have a whole package of post it notes that have no purpose!

(in reply to MasterGremlin)
Profile   Post #: 60
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