Is there a place for TS MTF subs?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Is there a place for TS MTF subs?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Is there a place for TS MTF subs?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/28/2007 1:40:45 PM

NikkiAnn

Posts: 64
Joined: 5/7/2006
From: Redford, MI (near Detroit)
Status: offline

I would like to know if there are Dommes or Mistresses that are interested in MTF transsexual submissives? I have had some experience but not a lot and really would like to know if someone like myself has any hope of finding more of a relationship other than occasional scenes. Your input on this would be very welcome. Also any input on my profile or changes I could make to improve it would be appreciated. Thanks

Nikki Anne

_____________________________

DANCE as though no one is watching,
LOVE as though you have never been hurt before,
SING as though no one can hear you,
LIVE as though heaven is on earth.--Souza

Post #: 1

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/28/2007 2:20:01 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Hi NikkiAnn

Its difficult. Really difficult, for people like us to form any type of one on one relationship that has to do with sexuality. The problem we have in short is;

Het men see us as guys
Gay men see us as gals
Het women see us as gals
Lesbian women see us as guys
and bisexuals of both sexes see us as guys or gals, depending.

And although in general here we're accepted, (subject to people understanding we're not crossdressers, who really do seem to get a hard time), the transsexual thing is a complication most just dont want in their lives. Not because we're awful people, or we dont pass (and you do, btw), but IMO mainly because of what others will think of them, being with someone like us. Even so, its only right that others know about our backgrounds before we get too close, but in my experience that usually means at the least a "thanks, but no thanks", regardless of any other factor, and even bizarre self questioning in those for whom we were ideal until that word was mentioned, along the lines of "am I gay?" for the het men, and vice versa for lesbian women.

So, the outlook seems bleak. But hell, anyone who cant see past a label is just not worthy of someone like us! Its no exaggeration to say, we are the most incredible people on the planet, and if others cant see that its only because they have not lived what we have lived, and so cannot possibly understand it and what we have to offer.

The only possible course therefore is optimism that someone, somewhere out there is waiting for us, will see us for who we are rather than what we were and care for us rather than care a jot about what we were. The alternative is to despair ever more deeply. But even with optimism we must be prepared for ten times the knocks that anyone else here will suffer.

Your profile by the way seems good to me. Informative about you and what you have to offer, and gives an idea about what youre like as a person and what/whom youre searching after.

E

edited to add; I wonder why you register as trans? Up to you of course, though I register as female, which distinguishes me from the crossdressers here I feel, but have in my profile enough info for anyone worthy of my time to know my past. I've nothing against crossdressers by the way, but trans generally indicates them it seems, and there is enough confusion around already about the difference between them and us. Not every TS here though, registers as their proper gender; its all a matter of personal choice I suppose.

< Message edited by LadyEllen -- 1/28/2007 2:26:58 PM >

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to NikkiAnn)

Post #: 2

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/28/2007 2:31:51 PM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline

Ellen, I'm bi and I don't see you as anything other than female.

But to the OP - Being trans is hard. And some people, quite frankly, are never going to get it. But I think there's someone, somewhere, (or more than one) for everyone. Honestly, your best chance may be to look for another transsexual or transgender to be with. But otherwise, I agree with everything Ellen said. She's a good person.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 3

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/28/2007 2:37:50 PM

NikkiAnn

Posts: 64
Joined: 5/7/2006
From: Redford, MI (near Detroit)
Status: offline

Hi Lady Ellen,
Thanks for your response and compliments on my passing ability. I really like your profile and no way could I tell you are TS from your photo. I may change my profile to female after I am able to finally go F/T. You really seem to have a handle on the problems and the uniqueness we have. I wish I was closer so we could meet. I really feel I could learn a lot from your experiences.

Nikki Anne

_____________________________

DANCE as though no one is watching,
LOVE as though you have never been hurt before,
SING as though no one can hear you,
LIVE as though heaven is on earth.--Souza

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 4

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/28/2007 2:53:52 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Hi NikkiAnn

Youre more than welcome! and more than welcome to write me on the other side too if there's anything you want to talk about more privately, though I cant promise I have all the answers, or even any of the answers! Distance is no object with the Internet, after all.

And you are not alone by any means either - there are quite a few of us here, many of whom I hope will not let the side down by not posting here! (yes, that was an order LOL!); though not all are as open as I about it. This is the only place I'm "out" aside from the trans work I do for the police, and I'm only out here because it became necessary for educational purposes in some threads.

Its not because people are hostile that they confuse and back off I'm convinced - its just that they dont know, because they never had need or opportunity to know anything about us. I'm convinced, the community here benefits as much from what some of us post on the trans subjects that come up, as it benefits from every other subject that comes up - but with the added benefit that outside of bdsm, what people learn here should mean that others might be better accepted in the wider world.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to NikkiAnn)

Post #: 5

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/28/2007 2:55:52 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

Thanks CP!

And I'm afraid to have to confess (again), that I dont see you as anyone other than Keanu Reeves! But, thats not so bad, seeing as I find him very attractive LOL!

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

Post #: 6

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/28/2007 3:12:09 PM

demistress

Posts: 391
Joined: 4/24/2006
From: Dela-where?
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen
I'm convinced, the community here benefits as much from what some of us post on the trans subjects that come up, as it benefits from every other subject that comes up - but with the added benefit that outside of bdsm, what people learn here should mean that others might be better accepted in the wider world.

I suspect that I am willing to be more open to transfolk as a result of my personal respect for your postings here L.E.

I generally dislike sissys, and gender archetypes. My dislike I am sure springs from a general resentment of fighting my whole life as a dominant, outdoorsy, and rough and tumble female. From the games and toys as a kid, sports as a teenager, and a career in IT, I have had my gender held against me my whole life, but I am and will always be a woman, even when I strap on a dick. LOL

Just as an FYI if someone with a dick identifies themselves as female on a profile, I consider that a lie.

_____________________________

Mistress Heather
www.niteflirt.com/MizzSpice

Wether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right!

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 7

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/28/2007 3:19:41 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

No, there ain't--- you all use way to many abbreviations, and I don't care how funny Lady Ellen is, she can't even spell color correctly--you fuckin' people wann fancify shit alla time.

LOLOLOLOL,

Hey---there is a place in the world for everyone sweetie, some just can't fall into the huge holes, but you are loved, wanted and unique, and you will do well....

Ron(ne)

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

(in reply to demistress)

Post #: 8

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/28/2007 5:05:30 PM

Vendaval

Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline

Hello NikkiAnn,

I think that finding group and/or community center for
GLBTQ people would be great for finding a supportive
group of friends and potential partners. What kind
of resources are available in the nearest metro area to you,
which you indicate as Detroit? Also, most colleges and
universities have clubs for GLBTQ students and may not
have a requirement of enrollment to participate, excluding
non-enrolled students only from voting and running for
office.

The Society of Janus Website has a page for Kink groups,
organizations and munches all over the US and Canada, http://www.soj.org

You have a very clean and well written profile. I would like
to encourage you to consider changing one line, the
first line in the 6th paragraph, you state, "There is really
not much I need from a relationship". Please do not
sell underestimate yourself and your value to a Mistress.
And one proof-reading error, in the second sentence
of that same paragraph you have two words connected
"thateverything", that need to be separated.

Keep having photographs taken of you in different settings
and clothing and lighting, it is fun and a great ego booster.

Good luck in your search,

Vendaval

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE

http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to NikkiAnn)

Post #: 9

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/28/2007 6:26:49 PM

RumpusParable

Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NikkiAnn

I would like to know if there are Dommes or Mistresses that are interested in MTF transsexual submissives?

For me, it's the same as with any other sex and gender arrangement: it depends on our match, not the packaging.

(in reply to NikkiAnn)

Post #: 10

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/28/2007 7:31:55 PM

MistressMonet2u

Posts: 24
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline

There is a place for everyone, ya just gotta find it and sometimes thats the hardest thing! I am the proud owner of a TS MTF sub for going on 3yrs now, I love her dearly and we are preparing her for FT at some point this year and its been a difficult journey! Hang in there sweetie, cause your Mistress is probably looking for you too!

-=M=-

(in reply to RumpusParable)

Post #: 11

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/29/2007 4:22:40 AM

MissyRane

Posts: 1032
Joined: 5/11/2005
Status: offline

The problem I have with the ts gender whatever people I have met (they aint many here) are that they're so TRYING and they're so fake that it pisses me off, M to F are just so feminine and fake that it makes you want to throw up..but if they're able to act normal then I'm cool with it

(in reply to MistressMonet2u)

Post #: 12

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/29/2007 12:07:03 PM

CalliopePurple

Posts: 2539
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: SeaTac area
Status: offline

Missy, a lot of TS people act too macho or feminine usually in the first parts of transition. My opinion is it's partially to compensate for however long they've been denying their true self and partially becuse that's what they think they have to be in order to be a "perfect" man or woman. Once they settle into things and they realize what they like and don't, they mellow out. Such has been my experience.

_____________________________

Kimi ni aitakute dare yori mo aitakute
hajimete kimi ni atta hoshizora no shita de.
Kimi ni tsutaetai todokanai omoi demo
boku no kokoro wa mada kimi o sagashiteiru.

Gackt - Kimi ni Aitakute

(in reply to MissyRane)

Post #: 13

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/29/2007 2:33:35 PM

HCWT1

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/7/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

Missy, a lot of TS people act too macho or feminine usually in the first parts of transition. My opinion is it's partially to compensate for however long they've been denying their true self and partially becuse that's what they think they have to be in order to be a "perfect" man or woman. Once they settle into things and they realize what they like and don't, they mellow out. Such has been my experience.

I think you've hit the nail on the head,where i come from,most start of on the street,more over dressed,more makeup,ect,ect.It does take time for them to settle and become,or at least find a nich and look, that they feel comfortable with.

Yes theres a place for all of us.

I must be one of the most unconvincing ts around,but in thirty years,ivé managed to attract two doms and been given collars,totalling some ten years in service.

Its not how you look,your gender ect,it's all based around attitude.Put the head in the wright place,and the rest will follow.

Just my 2c worth,

hcwt1.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

Post #: 14

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/29/2007 3:31:34 PM

NikkiAnn

Posts: 64
Joined: 5/7/2006
From: Redford, MI (near Detroit)
Status: offline

Hello Mistress Rane,

I am sorry that there are some TS that overemphasize or exaggerate their femininity. I am very conservative and leave the flamboyant stuff to someone else.

Nikki Anne

_____________________________

DANCE as though no one is watching,
LOVE as though you have never been hurt before,
SING as though no one can hear you,
LIVE as though heaven is on earth.--Souza

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

Post #: 15

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/29/2007 4:21:04 PM

sting516

Posts: 505
Joined: 9/4/2004
From: long island, ny
Status: offline

i find this thread very interesting, as i've been speaking with one who wishes to feminize me to the point of implants...and probably beyond at some point...still got a way to go before we get to that point, as she wants me to lose weight first...hopefully i can do that...it's not something i've ever been good at.

(in reply to NikkiAnn)

Post #: 16

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/29/2007 9:05:38 PM

DigitBox

Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NikkiAnn

I would like to know if there are Dommes or Mistresses that are interested in MTF transsexual submissives? I have had some experience but not a lot and really would like to know if someone like myself has any hope of finding more of a relationship other than occasional scenes. Your input on this would be very welcome. Also any input on my profile or changes I could make to improve it would be appreciated. Thanks

Nikki Anne

I'd say your profile has improved quite a lot since the last time I saw you posting here.

As for finding a domminant that would be interested in you. It may take a while to find someone. Patience is required.

Being trans and finding a partner is a very difficult process due to our varying states of gender. As LadyEllen has pointed out, different groups of people can look at us differently.

Some people I've been with see me as a woman but find it to be gay sex to be with me intimately. Others have no issues with my parts, and wouldn't care if my parts changed configuration. They see me as a woman no matter what.

But finding the later is really difficult. It will just take time and patience to find just such a person.

Also you might just want to take CalliopePurple's advice and also see if there is a transwoman who is an experienced Dominant. The advantages would be that you would have something in common and you wouldn't have to worry about educating them about the whole trans thing.

(in reply to NikkiAnn)

Post #: 17

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/29/2007 9:09:18 PM

DigitBox

Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

edited to add; I wonder why you register as trans? Up to you of course, though I register as female, which distinguishes me from the crossdressers here I feel, but have in my profile enough info for anyone worthy of my time to know my past. I've nothing against crossdressers by the way, but trans generally indicates them it seems, and there is enough confusion around already about the difference between them and us. Not every TS here though, registers as their proper gender; its all a matter of personal choice I suppose.

btw - Just thought I'd say thank you LadyEllen. You inspired me to change my profile over to female rather than trans.

It feels much nicer now that I've switched it.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 18

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/29/2007 9:21:56 PM

DigitBox

Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CalliopePurple

Missy, a lot of TS people act too macho or feminine usually in the first parts of transition. My opinion is it's partially to compensate for however long they've been denying their true self and partially becuse that's what they think they have to be in order to be a "perfect" man or woman. Once they settle into things and they realize what they like and don't, they mellow out. Such has been my experience.

I totally agree.

(in reply to CalliopePurple)

Post #: 19

RE: Is there a place for TS MTF subs? - 1/29/2007 10:02:55 PM

DigitBox

Posts: 154
Joined: 3/18/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sting516

i find this thread very interesting, as i've been speaking with one who wishes to feminize me to the point of implants...and probably beyond at some point...still got a way to go before we get to that point, as she wants me to lose weight first...hopefully i can do that...it's not something i've ever been good at.

Sting, being feminized and being transsexual are very different things.

Feminization just really means what it says. One becomes much more femminine looking, acting, etc. Both males and females can do this.

Not all MtF transsexuals are feminine. Some are butch, some are more neutral. The reason is that gender identity does not dictate behaviour. If it did then my mother should be a man.

< Message edited by DigitBox -- 1/29/2007 10:03:42 PM >

(in reply to sting516)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> Is there a place for TS MTF subs?

Page: [1] 2 3 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109