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Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 5:14:16 PM   
DeepWaters


Posts: 118
Joined: 4/16/2004
Status: offline 		Im just curious if anyone else has noticed this and what they think might be the reasons behind it....
Ive noticed that gay men seem to be more attracted to straight men than to other gay men, ...also are lesbians more attracted to straight women than other lesbians?

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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 5:19:11 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I get hit on by dominant lesbians fairly often.

(in reply to DeepWaters)
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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 5:26:04 PM   
Caitriona


Posts: 327
Joined: 8/28/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I get hit on by dominant lesbians fairly often.


I don't get hit on often by lesbians, dominant or otherwise, and I identify as bisexual.  What are you doing that I'm not? 

Seriously though, I couldn't say.  Perhaps it's that whole "grass is greener" thing?


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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 5:30:40 PM   
bearincuffs


Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		That is a common occurrence from what I've seen. I see this quite alot where I live with many of the gay men here. As for myself, I have no interest in chasing a straight man, but not all gay men are stereotypical either. The only 2 definite resons I see why this is so is:
1) many gay men want the challenge of "catching" a straight guy (like acquiring another notch on the bed post!)
2) many gay men truely believe most straight men are still deep in the closet.
 


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property of Master Dave of the House of Gemini

An it harm none, do as thou wilt
Do what you will, so long as it harms none
An it harm none, do what thou will
That it harm none, do as thou wilt
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill

(in reply to DeepWaters)
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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 5:43:06 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Caitriona

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen68

I get hit on by dominant lesbians fairly often.


I don't get hit on often by lesbians, dominant or otherwise, and I identify as bisexual.  What are you doing that I'm not? 

Seriously though, I couldn't say.  Perhaps it's that whole "grass is greener" thing?



How did you know that Aileen68 dies her snatch green?   Hmmmm.  (Domiguy raises a suspicious eyebrow).

You and Aileen been dining at the "Y?"

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 5:44:32 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		Women are just intuitive like that.

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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 5:47:28 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

Ive noticed that gay men seem to be more attracted to straight men than to other gay men


I'm not sure I buy this premise. Is it based on a lot of observation?

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it's never enough to keep up.

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INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to DeepWaters)
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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 5:50:50 PM   
LadyEllen


Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline 		Might just be something you've perceived I reckon.

Thing is, there are a lot more hetero guys and gals out there. Since gay men find men attractive then it follows that many of the men they find attractive are going to be hetero guys. Same for the lesbian women I'd guess.

E

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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 5:53:33 PM   
Aileen68


Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline 		I keep drooling over this guy.   Is it the same if someone straight lusts after someone gay?

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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 5:54:33 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline 		It could just be good taste.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to Aileen68)
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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 6:00:01 PM   
reamer


Posts: 57
Joined: 1/16/2007
Status: offline 		I am surprised that another aspect of this question has not been addressed in this thread.

That of what happens when someone who identifies themselves as "queer" or "lesbian" (including the term "lemon") or gay chooses to initiate sexual and/or romantic relations with a "breeder".

Which does happen, sometimes briefly, sometimes not, but there seems to be "negative pressure" from peer groups applied. I am not speaking of watered-down film versions such as "Chasing Amy" but the scene in which the female protagonist is honest with her Lemon Peers and gets the cold shoulder is accurate, for many.  The same situation in which the genders are reversed also occurs.

It is rarely dialogued openly.  The ostracization that commonly follows is often devastating, or at least a hurdle for the potential relationship that is near impossible to leap.

And of course, there are still "beards" and the inverse of "beards", which I also feel is worthy to be discussed in this topic.


< Message edited by reamer -- 1/28/2007 6:01:59 PM >

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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 6:06:25 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline 		Ok, ya'll know that I try to be compassionate and all that...but somethings do piss me off. Like this.

Most homophobic men I know seem to share this sentiment. It seems to be a typical thing to think that every gay guy in the world is after their ass...but sorry, it's not true. Not everyone wants to sleep with them. They seem to think that gay men should be able to automatically know their sexual orientation...like they have a sign that say, "I'm straight." It just doesn't work that way. If you're in an area where there are gay men and are found attractive to one of them, you might get hit on. Simple say that you're not interested. If they persist, they're being rude (or they're drunk). Welcome to the world of het women. Just walk away.

Master Fire


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(in reply to DeepWaters)
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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 6:10:17 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline 		Before I walk away,  can I at least get them to buy me a drink first?

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 6:11:50 PM   
LotusSong


Posts: 6334
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Domme Emeritus
Status: offline 		My older brother who is gay seemed to get a kick out of servicing the straight guys.  I think it's the"challenge"
 
The lesbians have always respected my sexual preference and we we have no problems..it's the bisexual women that can't seem to understand how I can just like ONE sex :)

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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 6:13:27 PM   
bearincuffs


Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Ok, ya'll know that I try to be compassionate and all that...but somethings do piss me off. Like this.

Most homophobic men I know seem to share this sentiment. It seems to be a typical thing to think that every gay guy in the world is after their ass...but sorry, it's not true. Not everyone wants to sleep with them. They seem to think that gay men should be able to automatically know their sexual orientation...like they have a sign that say, "I'm straight." It just doesn't work that way. If you're in an area where there are gay men and are found attractive to one of them, you might get hit on. Simple say that you're not interested. If they persist, they're being rude (or they're drunk). Welcome to the world of het women. Just walk away.

Master Fire



I would like to add that it is also possible that a gay man could be just expressing a compliment because he does find a straight man attractive without trying to get into the staight man's pants. But yes, there is a small segment of gay men who deliberately chase after straight men!

_____________________________

property of Master Dave of the House of Gemini

An it harm none, do as thou wilt
Do what you will, so long as it harms none
An it harm none, do what thou will
That it harm none, do as thou wilt
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)
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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 6:24:05 PM   
MasterFireMaam


Posts: 5587
Joined: 3/1/2006
From: Charleston, WV
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bearincuffs
I would like to add that it is also possible that a gay man could be just expressing a compliment because he does find a straight man attractive without trying to get into the staight man's pants. But yes, there is a small segment of gay men who deliberately chase after straight men!


Yes, the operative word being "small". The OP was suggesting that it's the majority. Sweeping generalities, again...

Master Fire


_____________________________

The power of who we are can be intoxicating. The power of who we could be is humbling.
-----
Ms Relationship Books
-----
BDSM How-To Books

(in reply to bearincuffs)
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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 6:34:32 PM   
reamer


Posts: 57
Joined: 1/16/2007
Status: offline 		Master Fire, a fair sentiment, cogently expressed.  But this question/topic could be fairly viewed as a "stew", with many ingredients.  One of which (as I stated) is not discussed here as of yet, and then there is another, dealing with your statement:

Bi men often behave differently than "properly gay men", even if the gay men "are not after the ass" of the hets, that does not mean that Bi males "on the down low" (and I am sure you are familiar with that phrase and term) are not, themselves, willing to cross some boundaries of some breederboys.  This happens.  And as you likely know, when Pride Parades began, Bi's were treated as second class citizens in the queer community, and many times still are, in a way that echoes people in kink claiming to be "twue" or not.

So bearing this in mind, I have to ask you a question ~

If there was a woman you knew, whom always self-identified as queer/lemon, then for romantic reasons, aesthetic reasons, philosphical reasons, kink reasons, any combination of the above, "came out" to her sapphic friends as being significantly "involved" with a male whom identified as "het", they had great sex (including kinky sex), would you support that?  Because the "match" was "right", gender politics be damned?

As many het people rightfully demand that marriage between queerfolk and even adoption be equally respected, under the aegis of  "what matters is how people treat and love each other"?

If such a woman had been a domme-dyke and best friend of yours, and said she'd been most happy subbing to a het male (though with the caveat of his being accepted by "The Family" - you know what I mean - as a "queer in spirit") , would you help her celebrate finding this satifaction, or would you be looking for options and reasons to give this new love away?



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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 6:40:38 PM   
MistressDolly


Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: bearincuffs

That is a common occurrence from what I've seen. I see this quite alot where I live with many of the gay men here. As for myself, I have no interest in chasing a straight man, but not all gay men are stereotypical either. The only 2 definite resons I see why this is so is:
1) many gay men want the challenge of "catching" a straight guy (like acquiring another notch on the bed post!)
2) many gay men truely believe most straight men are still deep in the closet.
 



Yes, my gay friends like the challenge of trying to get a straight man.  However, if they suceed, it is not really a "straight" man they have gotten.  Bi - at the least, is more appropriate.  As to many gay men saying "most straight men are deep in the closet", my straight friends would counter that and say "most gay men are just confused." 

(in reply to bearincuffs)
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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 6:42:00 PM   
dcnovice


Posts: 37282
Joined: 8/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

(including the term "lemon")


In my 43 gay years, I've never heard this term.

_____________________________

No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

(in reply to reamer)
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RE: Homo want Hetero? - 1/28/2007 6:46:30 PM   
bearincuffs


Posts: 1904
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline 		I do have to agree with you MistressDolly, as this is what I have faced in all the years I have been out of the closet! Usually the term I get is "this is just a phase"  and I don't see this "phase" ending soon!!!!

_____________________________

property of Master Dave of the House of Gemini

An it harm none, do as thou wilt
Do what you will, so long as it harms none
An it harm none, do what thou will
That it harm none, do as thou wilt
Eight words the Wiccan Rede fulfill

(in reply to MistressDolly)
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