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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 10:49:40 AM

kittensmailbox

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Honey, as long as you are happy, and that baby is safe and loved, then who cares what others think....

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~kitten

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 10:52:51 AM

valeca

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

Both parents in this discussion are women.

I guess DNA really was a moot point then. Heh.

Again, best wishes!

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 10:56:25 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDiane

Considering what you've stated about the mother, I think it's a wonderful gift you've given the child.

My thoughts exactly. AND kudos to the biological mother for recognizing she was not capable of being a good mother and that, regardless of your past relationship, you will be.

A very awsome story, thank you for sharing with us.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 11:03:28 AM

findmedaddy

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Deleted because it wasn't a helpful comment after all.

< Message edited by findmedaddy -- 1/31/2007 11:07:07 AM >

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 11:15:44 AM

Cunnilingussub

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WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU ,MAKE YOU STRONGER
AMEN

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 11:15:56 AM

xGoddessx

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I would for sure consider the little one a blessing from God.. and it looks like the wee one has a very good mother in their life now...wishing you all the best.

Blessed be,
Drea

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 11:21:12 AM

Rule

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Seems to me that you are suffering from stress. Tell your relatives: "Whatever, but I do need your (moral) support." Take care of the baby. Cool down. It will get easier in time.

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 11:36:31 AM

agirl

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With the best will in the world, your friends know you a lot better than a group of strangers on a forum. It's easy to pass on congratulations and applaud something, knowing only the rudiments of the situation.

I'd hate to have taken on a task such as that and be seeking support of this kind, whilst *scared as hell*.

Good luck.

agirl

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 11:53:36 AM

mgdartist

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??
know what? this is one weird-ass forum...lol.

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 12:11:07 PM

Devilslilsister

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i think your friends are worried that the birth mother might try and come back later and take the baby. It takes how long for adoption to be final? 7 months maybe? Maybe those that know you are worried that the birth mother will change her mind in that time....

Or maybe they're worried that even if the adoption goes through the birth mother will try and come back into the babies life at a later time. Its not like she cant find you. Imagine 4 years down the line with her showing up at your door drunk and high screaming "i want to see my daughter" causing a ruckus and a disturbance....

i guess with the birth mothers history and attitude - they worry about how well she is at sticking to her decisions and what might occur if she doesnt stick to her decision.

I'd say keep those things in mind, be aware, ect and Congratulations!!! Babies are awesome

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 12:42:19 PM

MsOpal

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Dear kajiracat,

Congratulations! If I may offer a word of advice from experience - often the "permission" of the birthfather is also required for an adoption to be finalized. I hope you were able to get that as well as the birth mother's. I gave a baby away to adoption many many years ago. I tried to keep her (no drugs or drink, just way too young and alone) but I finally realized no matter how hard I tried, I was not able to provide for her. And saying that my love would have been enough, well I was there and love wasn't feeding her or paying her incredible medical bills (preemie birth). To this day, over 35 years later I can still feel the emptiness that came when I signed my name to the papers. But someone was there to take her and love her and provide a good and loving home for her. I thank everything good in the universe that there are people who can open their hearts and love a beautiful baby and give them a home they deserve when a birth mother is unable to. Any baby is a miracle, but to be granted the blessing of giving a baby something as special as bringing her into a loving home, not because you HAD to or were EXPECTED to but because you WANTED to is a double blessing to the mother and the child. Be Well and hold her tight so she knows how safe she is.
Blessings and hugs,
msOpal

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 2:28:16 PM

Termyn8or

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It took me minute to get this straight in my head.

To the OP;

This is a very noble thing you did. It indeed may come back and bite you in the ass, but just wear those teethmarks with pride. I hope your friends, even with their admonishments, at least do accept the situation. The teethmarks will not be on their ass, so they should shut up.

If a friend of mine adopted a kid, I might say the same things, but if they are able to take care of the kid, do it. I would do whatever I could to help nurture the kid when I am around and it would be just like the kid is their's by blood. You can't blame anyone for their blood.

So you intend to take this kid out of what is almost certain to be a bad environment and are going to provide her with a good enviroment in which to grow ? BRAVO !

Other than that I have but one thing to say. TEACH. Make sure she can read before ever going to school, and teach the to, two, to thing. Get an encyclopedia and dictionary. Once they know how to read a bit, refuse to define words. Make her look them up.

Also encourage her to read. For example, make some kind of desert, something really good and write down the name of it. Make her read it, then she can have some. Ideally it would be a word she never read before. Let her sound it out.

Math and numbers too. If you really want to teach someone, integrate the learning into regular life.

Whatever you do, don't just sit her in front of a TV set. You took on this responsibility to raise a human being, don't ever take it lightly. When you are cooking dinner she does not belong in front of the TV, she should be watching you.

Hopefully you have figured out a bunch of this already. But there is one thing worse than to never have raised a child, and that is to have done it unsucessfully.

I wish you all the joy, and even pride in the world. Just realize that it takes alot. Alot more than meets the eye.

And strength, never let the kid overeat, don't fill her up with sugar. Teach her everything you know, especially that caring instinct of your's which is the reason for her being here. You now have the potential to raise a world leader who cares, and can help this planet off of it's deadly ways. You can raise a leader, a follower, or one who simply gets out of the way.

If I were younger, and didn't have this property, I would consider coming down there and helping. No relationship, no sex, just a male influence. But I can't up and leave.

Children are the most important thing in the world, hands down. If our ancestors didn't think like that we would not be here.

Kudos and best of luck. But the kid's luck should be average. She will need the life experiences, some of them not so pleasant, to learn. Of course you shield her from extreme danger, but they have to fall down and learn to pick themselves up.

All the best.

T

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 2:44:37 PM

mymasterssub69

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anyone can have a baby but it takes someone like you to be an outstanding parent. congrats to you for taking on such a responsibilityi n raising this baby as your own. this child is going to grow and great things from your selfless love.

*hugs*

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 2:47:14 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: mgdartist

??
know what? this is one weird-ass forum...lol.

Ya know what is really weird.......MOST people on this planet would find this thread, one of the most non-weird ones on this whole website!!

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 1/31/2007 2:48:02 PM >

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 4:58:11 PM

bandit25

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I agree LaTigresse. Congrats on the baby. My daughter is the light of my life also and she's not talking to me either (she's 15). But I can buy her jeans, tho.

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 5:15:03 PM

domiguy

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What you are doing is exceptional...How do you protect yourself from the mother if she ever gets "clean?'...Have you already adopted? Just seems like 3 weeks isn't enough time to get everything in order to accomplish such a feat....What rights does the biological father have to seeing the child?

I was adopted myself and giving this child the opportunity to flourish is a gift beyond measure....Just make sure you do everything in your power to protect this child because that responsibility is the biggest one you will ever accept. A truly remarkable and selfless act.

out.

D.G,

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 5:30:50 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

im scared as hell as it is, im partaking on a journey with this new baby, shes my responsibility. she is my joy. she is everything to me. instead of the "you know this is stupid to do, right?" and the "this is going to bite you in the ass" can i please get a "congratulations, all will be well, im here for you?"

You would be foolish not to be scared about taking on the difficult work of "assistance in building up" a new human being in this world, but I for one admire that kind of courage and generosity of spirit, and will pray that you will all be happy, healthy, always hopeful and successful with your new family member.

M

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 5:35:54 PM

JerseyKrissi72

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I wish you much happiness in the choices you have made in your life. Don't let anyone make you feel you are in the wrong for what you choose---- follow your heart and you can never go wrong.

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Our greatest glory is not in never falling-but in rising every time we fall ( Confucius )

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 5:42:26 PM

BlkTallFullfig

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quote:

follow your heart and you can never go wrong.

Krissy I agree, but why are you trying to make me feel old by writing so small I have to find magnifiers to read it?

M

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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 5:53:54 PM

innatedesire

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Congratulations!! I agree the world needs more people like you, you obviously have a huge heart, forget what others think of you, it is your life not thiers.

Do seek an attorney and make it legal for the sake of the child and to avoid any future drama, it would be in the best interest to the child and you to cross all your T's and dot all your I's.

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