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RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 6:00:59 PM   
hisannabelle


Posts: 1992
Joined: 12/3/2006
From: Tallahassee, FL, USA
Status: offline 		congratulations! i must say that i think it's amazing that you are doing this, and that this positive, beautiful thing could come out of a relationship that may have been more than incredibly difficult. i wish you the best of luck...i hope your friends and family can come to be understanding and supportive as well, whether they agree with your decisions or not.

(in reply to innatedesire)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 6:32:56 PM   
thekajiracat


Posts: 28
Joined: 1/11/2005
From: South Carolina
Status: offline 		to everyone...thank you so much. my new daughters name is Isabella, for those who asked.
also, indeed i am a woman and so is my ex...so no need for a dna test. (i'm good, but not that darn good, haha)  i have already started the legal proceedings in regards to the adoption. as of right now i have temporary custody and primary placement of her. all legal ends should be taken care of fairly quickly. again, thank you all for the words of advice and encouragement. i truly appreciate it. i havent had a chance to spend much time here in the forums but you all have shown such kindness, and to me, a stranger...i think ill hang around a bit...love to you all!!

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 6:42:24 PM   
thekajiracat


Posts: 28
Joined: 1/11/2005
From: South Carolina
Status: offline 		oh yes, and the other issue. the father? tell me and her birth mother who it is and i guess we will all know...all ive gotten out of her about him is that he was at a party in a club in atlanta..and he had blue eyes. so that narrows it down, eh? my lawyer says the adoption will progress fairly smoothly and rapidly in comparison to other adoptions, being that social services got involved immediately, as did the family court branch. ive got the law and all of its agencies behind me so all thats left is to dot those i's and cross those t's.  and to answer another question...i wish her mother the best of luck in life. i wish her no harm. whether she gets sober is of no concern of mine, thats up to her to deal with. luckily for Isabella and myself, we dont have to ride the roller coaster with her. i hope one day she does clean her act up, and i will by no means keep her daughter from her, ever, however my main concern is for the child, now my daughter. i will shield her and protect her from all that may harm her, even her own birth mother. thank you all again...you havent a clue about how much all of your thoughts have helped me through today. wierd thing, is it possible that i have post partum mood swings? i dont know...but i know im exhausted, and the highlight of my day was a shower...and not a "speed shower" either...a real true to life shower. WOOHOO! thank you all so much....really and truly made today a better day for me and in essence a better day for my daughter. love to you all!

(in reply to innatedesire)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 6:56:09 PM   
MstrssScarlet


Posts: 633
Joined: 6/3/2005
From: Indianapolis, Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thekajiracat

wierd thing, is it possible that i have post partum mood swings? i dont know...but i know im exhausted, and the highlight of my day was a shower...and not a "speed shower" either...a real true to life shower. WOOHOO! thank you all so much....really and truly made today a better day for me and in essence a better day for my daughter. love to you all!


No matter how much you love your new daughter, it's always a totally exhausting schedule those first few months.  I hope someone in your family finally comes around and is willing to help you get a break now and then.
When you mentioned that the child was a girl, an old saying came to mind:
A son is your son until he takes a wife; a daughter is your daughter all of her life. 
I wish nothing but the best for you and your children.
Mistress Scarlet

_____________________________

"Say, that hurts a little bit" "And you don't like to be hurt do ya?" "I don't know...kinda fun sometimes if it's done in the right spirit."
Jean Harlow in The Beast of the City

(in reply to thekajiracat)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 7:01:11 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

the highlight of my day was a shower..


It's official - you are definitely a new mommy.  You chose a beautiful name for your daughter.  I'm glad to hear that you have an attorney and are doing things the right way, you need to make sure everything is in place legally in order to protect your new family.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to thekajiracat)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 7:03:11 PM   
VoiceOfReason


Posts: 6
Joined: 8/6/2006
Status: offline 		To act in the defense of a child, plucking them from a dangerous situation, is noble.

My advice, ask those who deride what you are doing now what they would have you do instead or differently.  They may well have some valid concerns as to your emotional involvement or even your preparedness you should calculate into what you are about to do.  However, if they continue to focus on the negative, if they have nothing more to offer you than to give you Hell for acting with honor and attempt to convince you to be less instead of helping you be more and better...challenge them to provide you with something constructive or step out of the way. 

Good luck to you.

< Message edited by VoiceOfReason -- 1/31/2007 7:37:04 PM >

(in reply to thekajiracat)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: someone please just listen to me - 1/31/2007 7:43:44 PM   
RosaB


Posts: 852
Joined: 1/10/2005
Status: offline 		Isabella is a beautiful name, it also was my beloved baby sister's middle name.  The name of which, as a kid, I wanted to trade  with my younger sister; long story, I won't bore the world with all the details, but,  I have the Isa at the beginning of my middle name as well.

I'm happy to hear that you've found some comfort from the words offered on this forum thus far.

Rosa

(in reply to VoiceOfReason)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: someone please just listen to me - 2/1/2007 4:58:55 PM   
thekajiracat


Posts: 28
Joined: 1/11/2005
From: South Carolina
Status: offline 		once again thank you to you all for the support regarding my decision to adopt this child. every second with her is a new blessing for me. for anyone interested, i have a few pictures of her. if you would like to see her, please just email me here on CM and i will reply with her picture. thank you all again.

(in reply to RosaB)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: someone please just listen to me - 2/1/2007 5:01:50 PM   
texancutie


Posts: 322
Joined: 7/23/2005
Status: offline 		Congrats to you.  It is great to read that you are doing something wonderful for the baby!  

(in reply to thekajiracat)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: someone please just listen to me - 2/1/2007 8:13:56 PM   
CandleInTheWind


Posts: 347
Joined: 10/20/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: thekajiracat

my ex, her mother, was a very abusive alcoholic. while she did abstain from drugs and alcohol during her pregnancy, she returned right back to her old tricks. she called me when she was in labor and asked me to come. i was there for her through that, the birth and the days following that the baby spent in the NICU. (she was fine, just had a temp drop) after bringing her home, (to her own home, not mine) she asked me to please take her child and raise it for her. it took a lot of cowardess and a lot of bravery both to ask me that. i accepted the child as a gift from god, and intend to raise her as my own. any feelings for her mother have absolutely nothing to do with my desire to care for her. i wish her mother the best in life, and i hope that she one day has what it is that she seeks. i am not raising her child out of retaliation at all. i took this baby into my heart and life because i want her to have a life that she deserves and i know that i can provide that.


I honestly see no cowardess in her asking someone else to take the child...it is the toughest decision to make...and she actually did the more thoughtful thing!  I do hope that you can drop the anger i sense towards the childs mom...after all if she had decided to terminate you wouldnt have the little lady of the world that you do!

_____________________________

It is better to be hated for something that you are
than it is to be loved for something you are not

(in reply to thekajiracat)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: someone please just listen to me - 2/7/2007 10:46:02 AM   
thekajiracat


Posts: 28
Joined: 1/11/2005
From: South Carolina
Status: offline 		the only reason i referred to her action as one of cowardess is because her motivation for asking me to take her child was that the child hinders her from her own life of the drugs and alcohol. it was noble that she realized she wasnt ready for the responsibility of bella, and asked for my help. i recognize that in her, it was her reasoning that proved cowardess, in my opinion.

(in reply to CandleInTheWind)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: someone please just listen to me - 2/8/2007 11:07:05 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		Your actions are noble and honorable.  You have a great
and wonderful responsibility in your life now.  Be proud of
yourself and the decision you made.
 
Peace,
 
Vendaval

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to thekajiracat)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: someone please just listen to me - 2/8/2007 11:31:00 AM   
pahunkboy


Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline 		*gives you a BIG hug*

*embraces you*

*gives you a HUGE smile*


(in reply to thekajiracat)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: someone please just listen to me - 2/8/2007 2:38:28 PM   
completenz


Posts: 315
Joined: 1/10/2007
Status: offline 		hi
glad you are working on the legal situation.
Its your life and you must be true to yourself and follow your own heart. Dont doubt yourself, even when you are sleep deprived!!! lol ( that's one part of motherhood i definately dont miss)
i wish you and your beautiful wee bub all the happiness in the world
Big hugs
c

(in reply to pahunkboy)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: someone please just listen to me - 2/13/2007 4:40:53 PM   
venusdiva429


Posts: 44
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		You sound amazing. The baby couldn't be luckier to have such a great mama!

_____________________________

Relationships, fiction, and personal development fabulousness at Luscious Life!

Never be an option when he's your priority. Just...don't. You are a true gem to a true man!

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: someone please just listen to me - 2/13/2007 4:47:37 PM   
mixielicous


Posts: 1283
Joined: 4/6/2006
From: Boston area, Massachusetts
Status: offline 		my dad isnt my bio and i am very thankful for him. you should be proud of what you did, you gave this baby a father when no one else wanted to be. give yourself a pat on the back, it was an admiral decision to make

_____________________________


"lets just say he's a few prawns short of a galaxy"


(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 56
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