someone please just listen to me

someone please just listen to me (Full Version)

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thekajiracat -> someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:19:43 AM)
i dated a girl for 6 years. we have been apart for a year. she gave birth to a baby girl 3 weeks ago. i adopted her. everyone in my circle of "friends" is giving me hell for it, no one supports the decision. they cite the relationship i had with her mother, which was to be brief, as near to hell as i hope to come. my love for this child is independent of any feelings i had/have for her mother. i am catching hell everywhere i turn. i have no living family other than my son, biological son, and i have few friends, by my own choice. im scared as hell as it is, im partaking on a journey with this new baby, shes my responsibility. she is my joy. she is everything to me. instead of the "you know this is stupid to do, right?" and the "this is going to bite you in the ass" can i please get a "congratulations, all will be well, im here for you?"

hot1 -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:21:47 AM)
Congrads...and be well. I admire you, IMHO the world could use a lot more like you. hot1

ShiftedJewel -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:23:03 AM)
*Congrats on the new baby. Don't let anyone detract from your joy in the birth of the beautiful new addition to your life.* *Jewel*

Lorelei115 -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:24:36 AM)
It sounds like you have a lot of love in your heart for this little one, and despite no blood relation I think you will be a wonderful parent to her. Good luck, I'm sure you will all be all right!

thekajiracat -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:26:02 AM)
thank you. i just have a hard time understanding why it is that no one will back me in this decision. nothing bad can come from it, it is not harmful to me. this is a godsend, my daughter. its really hard to grasp that the people closest to me dont understand that.

LotusSong -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:31:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thekajiracat i dated a girl for 6 years. we have been apart for a year. she gave birth to a baby girl 3 weeks ago. i adopted her. everyone in my circle of "friends" is giving me hell for it, no one supports the decision. they cite the relationship i had with her mother, which was to be brief, as near to hell as i hope to come. my love for this child is independent of any feelings i had/have for her mother. i am catching hell everywhere i turn. i have no living family other than my son, biological son, and i have few friends, by my own choice. im scared as hell as it is, im partaking on a journey with this new baby, shes my responsibility. she is my joy. she is everything to me. instead of the "you know this is stupid to do, right?" and the "this is going to bite you in the ass" can i please get a "congratulations, all will be well, im here for you?" I highlighted the parts I'm curious of. What made you decide to adopt this child? You evidently have no love for the mother.. or is this a sort of retaliation? Deep inside I mean. There just seems to be more to this story. And a bit of advice..live your life for you. If you happiness is dependent upon someone's approval..then you are going to be unhappy all your life.

thekajiracat -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:36:42 AM)
my ex, her mother, was a very abusive alcoholic. while she did abstain from drugs and alcohol during her pregnancy, she returned right back to her old tricks. she called me when she was in labor and asked me to come. i was there for her through that, the birth and the days following that the baby spent in the NICU. (she was fine, just had a temp drop) after bringing her home, (to her own home, not mine) she asked me to please take her child and raise it for her. it took a lot of cowardess and a lot of bravery both to ask me that. i accepted the child as a gift from god, and intend to raise her as my own. any feelings for her mother have absolutely nothing to do with my desire to care for her. i wish her mother the best in life, and i hope that she one day has what it is that she seeks. i am not raising her child out of retaliation at all. i took this baby into my heart and life because i want her to have a life that she deserves and i know that i can provide that.

Hissltviolet -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:41:38 AM)
"The highways of life are full of flat squirrels who couldn't make up their minds".-Unknown ...<giggles>...love this!!!

Bignipplessub -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:43:12 AM)
Congratulations, I wish you all of the best. I admire you because you have taken on someone else’s responsibility. You know this woman will need support raising this child, because it is not easy to raise a child by your self, so be the support and love this woman will need to raise a healthy minded child. Be the love and light this child will receive from you. The baby knows she is very special because of you, and she will need that to survive in this world. I know a daycare which uses this quote to all of the children in attendance “I was born to do GREAT Things!!!” the children have to say this every day out loud and then give them selves a hug!!!!

MistressDiane -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:44:34 AM)
Considering what you've stated about the mother, I think it's a wonderful gift you've given the child.

thekajiracat -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:48:06 AM)
i find myself in tears. thank you all for your words of support. though they are words from strangers it does comfort me to know that what ive done is being recognized as a good thing, and not a bad thing. i have a long road ahead with raising this daughter but its comforting to know that it wont neccesarily be a hard one or a frowned upon one. thank you all so much.

LotusSong -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:51:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: thekajiracat my ex, her mother, was a very abusive alcoholic. while she did abstain from drugs and alcohol during her pregnancy, she returned right back to her old tricks. she called me when she was in labor and asked me to come. i was there for her through that, the birth and the days following that the baby spent in the NICU. (she was fine, just had a temp drop) after bringing her home, (to her own home, not mine) she asked me to please take her child and raise it for her. it took a lot of cowardess and a lot of bravery both to ask me that. i accepted the child as a gift from god, and intend to raise her as my own. any feelings for her mother have absolutely nothing to do with my desire to care for her. i wish her mother the best in life, and i hope that she one day has what it is that she seeks. i am not raising her child out of retaliation at all. i took this baby into my heart and life because i want her to have a life that she deserves and i know that i can provide that. Thank you~! This all makes sense now. Congratulations to you then.. :)

KatyLied -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 8:52:55 AM)
quote: though they are words from strangers it does comfort me to know that what ive done is being recognized as a good thing, and not a bad thing. Trying to give a baby the best start in life is admirable. I wish all of you the best.

poplolly -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 9:57:17 AM)
I am an adoptee and a mother of my own four children. Bless you and thank you for what you are doing. It takes a very special person to love another's child as their own. Follow your heart and ignore the negative opinions. I wish you joy in your journey with your precious new daughter.

RosaB -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 10:11:51 AM)
Contgrats and best wishes for a happy new future for you and your new baby girl. What's the little one's name, if you feel comfortable sharing that info with complete strangers? [:)] Rosa

BabyGirlOooh -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 10:13:12 AM)
Bravo !!!! What a selfless thing to do..... to take a baby into your heart and into your life. You will not be sorry. My daughter is the Joy of my life, except that she's now 16 and not "speakin to me".... So what else is new lol....... She'll get over it one of these days...... So treasure the "younger years" cuz the hormones are gonna start to rage at about 8 or 9 lol..... But please realize that you already love this child - and you need to protect her and yourself. I strongly suggest that you retain an attorney, and have the birth-mother sign the appropriate papers to make it a legal adoption.... This way, no devastation on your part if she ever decides to "change her mind"..... Just my opinion........ My love to both you and your daughter.... Oh - what's her name?

mgdartist -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 10:13:46 AM)
Well you've had your smattering of support here, and I suppose I should give you similar. However I too have had an abusive, alchoholic ex, who did't get with child, but tried to decieve me that she had, and aborted, with no medical evidence or documentation to show me. You've undertaken a difficult task to say the least, which I could not have done in your place, knowing it made me chief enabler, if not provoker of the mothers illnesses and abuses. While I don't seek to judge you, in your place I'd wish to verify the child was mine via dna testing. Such women are the soul of guile my friend. Good luck, MGD

ElectraGlide -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 10:17:33 AM)
It sounds like you are following your heart. You are doing the right thing then.

valeca -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 10:24:25 AM)
I was under the impression the child wasn't biologically his daughter, making a DNA test a moot point. But maybe I misread it. Either way, congrats and enjoy! ~From Loraith and valeca

KatyLied -> RE: someone please just listen to me (1/31/2007 10:27:44 AM)
Both parents in this discussion are women.

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