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RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:01:26 PM

KeirasSecret

Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
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The things that attracted me to my Dom, and made me decide to submit to him have nothing to do with the things you mentioned.

Be well,

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Post #: 21

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:05:32 PM

cjenny

Posts: 1736
Joined: 11/27/2006
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*Blushes because she seems to be the only one concerned about the noise factor*

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Post #: 22

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:05:56 PM

BabyNyla

Posts: 578
Joined: 9/15/2006
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Being that we're a military family and relocating is our business ... from base to base ... it would never be logical for us to own a home. We'd be in debt paying penalties for never owning a home for more than 2 years. Does this make us unstable or not financially well off? Hell no. We have a savings account, lots of vehicles and far too many toys. if someone decided not to get to know us because we don't own a home ... I would say it's more their loss than ours.

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Post #: 23

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:11:16 PM

MadRabbit

Posts: 3460
Joined: 8/9/2006
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Well...my little contribution...

As someone who has a lease on a 3 bedroom townhouse and rents the other two rooms out to vanilla people via add in the newspaper...

My current living situation makes it a bit difficult to have a submissive walking around naked with nothing but a collar on or to do some SM at a level of intesity that results in some loud noise.

While the submissive I was previously with had absolutely no problems with compromising when she came to visit me, the realities of the situation have made me choose to not actively look and remain single after we ended it until I have complete privacy in my own little appartment in 6 months.

Not exactly the jist of this thread, but just an example of how the realities of life can affect our personal lifestyle preferences.

But...any subbie who expects me to be a millionaire and own a small manison in my 20's will get a good round of laughter from me.

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Post #: 24

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:13:01 PM

innatedesire

Posts: 111
Joined: 8/21/2006
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Personally I could care less as long as he is taking care of himself I don not care where he lives. I once had a vanilla BF who lived with me and did not work and I paid for everything, he only paid his own bills with his savings. I also had another vaniila BF who was not too good at taking care of his bills and stuff till he met me and got his act together; eventually we bought a house together. I am far more interested in the person than I am in thier zip code or bank account. Living here in southern California IS expensive, its the price we pay to live somewhere where it is 82 degrees in February.

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Post #: 25

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:13:28 PM

findmedaddy

Posts: 254
Joined: 5/18/2006
From: Maine
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FootQueen

Did I miss something in this thread or what? When did living in an apartment become FREE? What if the person lives in New York? A large number of dwellings there are only apartments and they can easily run you more than the mortgage on a house. Therefore someone living in an apartment in New York may have to work more so that they maintain their 'apartment' which shows quite a bit of responsibility from where I sit. So is it to say that dominants can't live in large/major cities where there is it mostly apartment living?

Yes, you did miss something. You missed all of us who said it isn't the *apartment*, per se, or where you live, but whether you are a generally responsible person.

(in reply to FootQueen)

Post #: 26

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:14:53 PM

BabyNyla

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Joined: 9/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: innatedesire

Living here in southern California IS expensive, its the price we pay to live somewhere where it is 82 degrees in February.

geezzzz ... rub it in why don't ya

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Post #: 27

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:25:48 PM

unlearntbeauty

Posts: 12
Joined: 6/21/2006
Status: offline

Heres how it plays out in my mind. Call me snob or whatever you please, but i am not all attracted to tops that are not as financially well off as i am. I dont care about their money, i dont want it. As a matter of fact, as long as they allow me to, i would rather pay my way no matter what the situation is just so that there is no confussion there.

In my mind, i can not submit to someone that i know that on a daily basis, i would probably be barking orders to... which often times reflects on ones salary. I want someone that represents themselves well, with nice things because i bust my ass at work to be able to do the same for myself.

Appartments i dont so much care about. Let the neighbors hear me. I get off on it. *grins*

~unlearnt

(in reply to BabyNyla)

Post #: 28

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:26:20 PM

gypsygrl

Posts: 1471
Joined: 10/8/2005
From: new york state
Status: offline

The noise is a bit of a factor for me. I live in an apartment, and when my kids came to live with me, I became very self conscious about what the neighbors might think, because I didn't want other parents to worry about their kids playing with my kids or the kind of talk to get started that would negatively impact my kids. (ie: your mom's a freak na na na) Before that I didn't really care what the neighbors thought and I don't care about someone else's neighbors so if a dominant I'm interested in lives in an apartment, its no biggie.

As to the general question, I don't get the whole home ownership thing and don't think it has anything to do with an individual's ability to dominate me. The whole idea sounds stupid. I've cleaned lots of really big houses for people who didn't have a clue how to manage their lives. I could tell by the messes they made cause it was my job to clean them up. Plus, managing a house is very different from managing a human. I don't really see the connection.

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Post #: 29

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:30:22 PM

seekstofasn8adom

Posts: 252
Joined: 1/20/2007
From: colchester/essex.
Status: offline

Honestly how silly you can certainly be very dominant if you live in a apartment.In fact you can be very dominant in anyhome come to that.

(in reply to gypsygrl)

Post #: 30

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:31:01 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
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Now here's a thing; in the UK at least, the major round of break up and divorce occurs in the mid 30s age range. One or both sides could easily end up living in an apartment; usually the guy if its one of them, since the gal will get the house because she has custody of the kids.

Clearly, whatever the circumstances of the break up, the guy living in the apartment is henceforth judged as irresponsible, unworthy etc? Well, whatever. Truth is, in the UK its just not possible to acquire a house as a single guy; far too expensive given likely disposable income. And social housing is out of the question - far too little supply, far too much demand, and its given out on a points system in such a way that he'd wait years if he ever got one.

On the other side though, I know from experience that its not possible to ride side saddle up my apartment hallway.

E

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RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:43:37 PM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cjenny

*Blushes because she seems to be the only one concerned about the noise factor*

I would be very concerned about the noise factor. Ballgags don't stifle all sound coming from the submissive and the slapping sounds of corporal punishments could easily be heard by a tennant on the other side of the wall. Turning up the volume on a TV or stereo might help, but that would be viewed as disturbing the peace. This could lead to the police being called as well as eviction. Somebody, whether it be the dom or the sub, has to be living in a house or mobile home where other tennants don't reside on the other side of the wall.

(in reply to cjenny)

Post #: 32

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 3:45:27 PM

Squeakers

Posts: 489
Joined: 10/3/2006
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Owning a home does not mean well off. Years ago, I met a person and eventually moved in with him. He represented himself as well off and did own his own home. I was allowed access to the bank account and soon learned, not only did I earn more money than he did but his bank account was always negative until I began to contribute to the household income and his mortage was always at least a month late. Once I moved out, within days he had another woman move in and now he is currently on his fourth or fifth woman.
For me, I'd much rather have someone who rented but didn't need to have my income to make the payments on time. Yes, I'd pay my fair share but if he was unable to care for himself as I am currently caring for myself, that's kind of a problem.

(in reply to Gauge)

Post #: 33

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 4:02:04 PM

Rayne58

Posts: 746
Joined: 2/22/2005
From: Sydney Australia
Status: offline

*fast reply*

We live in a block of 8 units in a suburb in Sydney. There's no way we would be able to afford to buy a house here. Master is on disability and I receive a pension as His carer. The rent is subsidised as it is a housing co-operative (25% of income).

Before I moved in He was managing to pay His own bills even though He had to budget very carefully. He is not irresponsible with money and neither am I, He has delegated the responsibility of paying our bills to me.

The noise factor? The walls are pretty thick concrete and we've had no complaints from the neighbours!

(in reply to Squeakers)

Post #: 34

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 4:03:23 PM

NorthernGent

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Joined: 7/10/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Truth is, in the UK its just not possible to acquire a house as a single guy

This is incorrect. Granted, it's expensive. I've read this thread with interest because over here (due to the relative lack of distance between towns and cities) flats (apartments) are as expensive as houses. A decent sized, one bed-roomed flat, in a decent area in Manchester, is approx. £140k (270ish U$), two bedrooms £170k. London is worse - a friend bought a two bed-roomed flat in South Wimbledon for £280k (550ish U$). It's obscene but with the exception of moving abroad it's a case of take it or leave it (if you want your own place). Renting is similarly extortionate.

In terms of the OP, I don't agree with the logic behind the mail but, ultimately, it's her call. It seems odd to equate an apartment with undomly characteristics but, if it's a barrier to respect, she's doing everyone a favour by setting her stall out right from the start.

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Post #: 35

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 4:10:27 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Truth is, in the UK its just not possible to acquire a house as a single guy

This is incorrect. Granted, it's expensive. I've read this thread with interest because over here (due to the relative lack of distance between towns and cities) flats (apartments) are as expensive as houses. A decent sized, one bed-roomed flat, in a decent area in Manchester, is approx. £140k (270ish U$), two bedrooms £170k. London is worse - a friend bought a two bed-roomed flat in South Wimbledon for £280k (550ish U$). It's obscene but with the exception of moving abroad it's a case of take it or leave it (if you want your own place). Renting is similarly extortionate.

NG; Average salary in the UK = 25k. Assuming the guy is divorced and has one child for whom he pays maintenance at GBP 50-00 per week, thats around 4k of his salary pre tax, taking him to 21k effectively. This would mean he would have to obtain a mortgage at around 7 times his salary to afford the one bed apartment youre talking about. I realise we're up to 5 times salary for a mortgage nowadays (which is crazy and I dont look forward to more interest rate rises and the tide of homelessness to come), but 7 times as far as I know, just isnt possible.

Our divorced dad would be lucky to get himself a bedsit, the way things are here.

E

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Post #: 36

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 4:12:47 PM

sensualmagirl

Posts: 1065
Joined: 7/4/2006
From: Boston, MA
Status: offline

*fast reply*

I think that the blanket statement "if you live in an apartment, you cannot be dominant" is really a lot of generalizing... and also does not indicate whether the person is resposible, financially or otherwise.

It's pigeon-holing that person's own idea of how to live a life onto someone else.

There are many, many, many reasons why someone would be living in an apartment or may not be financially "well off" (teachers or people in academia, are very intelligent, but may not make as much money) none of which have anything to do with their level of responsibility or "Dom-liness"

Not to mention, someone may simply "choose" to live in an apartment then deal with the headaches of home-ownership. I know of several wealthy (obscenely wealthy) people who live in luxury apartment buildings in Boston -- they pay rent of $4,000/month and up simply because they like the convenience and do not want the headaches of having a home and the upkeep.

Just some of my other thoughts on the subject... not "correcting" anyone, just thoughts to ponder...

< Message edited by sensualmagirl -- 2/4/2007 4:19:55 PM >

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RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 4:13:02 PM

Wulfchyld

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Joined: 12/7/2005
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Out of curiosity what is the tax rate in the UK?

Income tax?
sales tax?
etc...

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Post #: 38

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 4:14:23 PM

LTRsubNW

Posts: 1604
Joined: 5/6/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Call me mean spirited or whatever your heart desires but I must vent about something that I found in someone's profile because it really irritated me.

In general it basically stated that if you were 40 and lived in an apartment that you couldn't be a dominant. Now this bothers me on two levels, the first of which is that I live in an apartment and I am 41 years old and a dominant. The second item that chafes my nether regions is that by sheer implication, that statement in that profile is single-minded and basically rude in it's nature.

Before everyone tears into me and tells me to "get over it" allow me to attempt to explain why I even bothered posting about this. Does financial standing have anything to do with being a dominant? If, (at middle age) I do not own a home, does this mean that I am incapable of owning a submissive? Is social status tied into the perception of dominance? I believe the answers to those questions are fairly obvious but I am quite curious to see if this actually is something that a submissive will place any weight in when evaluating a potential dominant.

You're searching for a validation of your lack of real estate purchase.

Allow me to say, you can be Dom (/me) if you don't own real estate.

Now, you, Gauge, I can't speak for you. You might be Dom if you live in a carrot patch. You might even live in a rather resplendant carrot patch.

You might even live in one of the best carrot patches in Trumps best Plaza's...I certainly can't say...however...

If you live in a nice carrot patch...you could be Dom.

You could in fact be Dom if you live in a lesser carrot patch.

However...if you need the carrot patch to prove your Domliness....you ain't Dom.

< Message edited by LTRsubNW -- 2/4/2007 4:15:19 PM >

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Post #: 39

RE: You Cannot Be Dominant If You Live In An Apartment - 2/4/2007 4:24:34 PM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wulfchyld

Out of curiosity what is the tax rate in the UK?

Income tax?
sales tax?
etc...

Oh! Look, you guys think you have it bad over there right? I really dont want to disabuse you of your notions!

Oh well, alright then!

Income tax
low incomes 10% (applicable to minimum wage)
most incomes 20%
higher incomes up to 40%

But there's another 9% national insurance, so really add that to the above.

Sales tax (Value Added Tax or VAT) - 17-5%
Cigarettes; not sure, but its about five pounds for a pack of 20, of which around £3-50 is tax.
Booze of all varieties - similarly heavily taxed (over 50%)
Fuel for your car; criminal. Around £4-00 a gallon at the moment, of which around £3-00 is tax/duty or whatever they want to call it.

Then there's tax to the local council of about £100-00 a month. Theres 5% tax on gas and electricity. 1.5% tax on insurance premia.

No escape if you die either; death duties, inheritance tax etc now affects many more than the wealthy, due to the rise in house values (around x4 over the last ten years).

And for me, running my company I get to pay 45% of the company profit in tax. So if I make 100k this year, and draw what I can, it'll be only 1/3 of the 100k because I'll be paying company tax and then personal tax on top!

E

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In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

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Post #: 40

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