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RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:14:16 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

Afternoon submissives, are you the "one":

I'm a recovering cannibal. I've been going to Cannibals Anonymous for 5 years and for the most part I've managed to stay on the wagon (I've eaten 3 humans and a goat in the last 5 years, I'm clean since April last year). The problem is, people who know me tend not to want to start a relationship with me. I've showed them my rehab certificates but they scoff (rubbish pun intended) at the idea of a romantic arrangement. Will you come to dinner with me, I promise I won't eat you. Failing that, can you put me in touch with people who appreciate a romantic meal for two in the locked house of a cannibal with only a knife and fork, an oven and a skewer for company.

Thanks in advance.

P.S. If you're under 5 feet 3 or over 5 feet 5, less than 9 stone 2 or more than 9 stone 5, anything but brunette, can't play the piano and have no grasp of Japanese then don't bother replying. Time wasters.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 21

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:20:49 AM

Lorelei115

Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline

Dear cannibal-

How dare you use me in your wanking fantasies. I resent that. Plus, its obvious that you are not a true dominant since you didn't command me to "kneel, bitch!" in your first letter. If you send me 19.95 plus shipping and handling, I will read your next email.

Have a nice day!!!!!

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 22

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:25:52 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

I have noticed that in the Discussion Forums on "Positive Experiences"...That the thread "Collared on the Winter Solstice" has been the last "positive" experience posted and that was on 1-04-07.

Is it be because people feel that there are no positive experience on this site? Just speaking for myself...But I'm sure we "all" feel the same way....I consider it a positive experience if I meet someone and they have most of their teeth......Am I setting the bar to low?......Am I the only one who feels this way?

(Oh yeah. I almost forgot!....Later that evening when I'm hammering their ass..I consider it to be a "positive" if they don't poop on me.)

Again, am I the only one who feels this way?

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 23

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:28:13 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

Dear potential "one":

In my dreams, I've devoured you 4 times. I went as far as making soup out of your bones on 3 occasions. Thus, you no longer exist. Mods, get these charlatans out of here!

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to Lorelei115)

Post #: 24

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:28:50 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

I am Japanese delegate in Nigerian High Commission in Lagos, and would love to come for dinner.

But I have no money for air fare to UK, because of price of noodles here is so high. My salary is not large, but I try to make ends meet with piano recitals; could you send me to bank a few thousand pounds so I can visit you?

N A Gasaki

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 25

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:31:30 AM

KeirasSecret

Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline

lol....<<<<<just luvs to feel the power.

_____________________________

It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 26

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:31:48 AM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterFireMaam

Another Topic: If a tree falls in the forest and no one's around to hear it....are you still a dumbass?

Master Fire

Being that I usually try and catch the tree...the answer is a resounding ..YES!!!

Doesn't everyone feel the same way about this?

out.

D.G.

p.s. Jesus please protect me from your followers.

(in reply to MasterFireMaam)

Post #: 27

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:33:44 AM

BobTheMaster

Posts: 18
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ToGiveDivine

People with long hair are creepy
People that wear glasses are scary
People that wear skirts are perverts
People from England are nutty
People that live in a city next to a river are disgusting

People from england are nutty, its true - its the water, or the climate

It's a good thing I don't know anybody like that ;-D

(in reply to ToGiveDivine)

Post #: 28

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:37:17 AM

wyldsubmissive

Posts: 157
Joined: 5/7/2005
Status: offline

I want to pinch the cheeks (FACIAL) of everyone posting on this thread so cute!

So, if I tell a dominant that I want to bend them over and viciously sodomize their ass will they provide the lube?

-Wyld

(in reply to BobTheMaster)

Post #: 29

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:40:42 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: wyldsubmissive

I want to pinch the cheeks (FACIAL) of everyone posting on this thread so cute!

So, if I tell a dominant that I want to bend them over and viciously sodomize their ass will they provide the lube?

-Wyld

if the lube is supplied, then it would be a viscous sodomizing, surely?

if there's no lube, then it would fall into the realm of vicious though.

E

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to wyldsubmissive)

Post #: 30

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:41:19 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

Dear Miss Gasaki,

Yes depending on answers to the following:

1) How does attracting partners by pretending not to be a cannibal fit in with Japanese BDSM etiquette.....consenting or non-consenting?

2) Has anyone tried to slow cook you? Do you go a nice pink colour right the way through or do you tend to burn around the edges?

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 31

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:43:23 AM

KeirasSecret

Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline

quote:

I'm a recovering cannibal.

Oh my word! I have not dared to ask what happened to Sir's last sub since he told me he killed her. Maybe he has the same problem as you. Perhaps you know him?

Be well,

_____________________________

It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 32

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:46:14 AM

BobTheMaster

Posts: 18
Joined: 11/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

I am Japanese delegate in Nigerian High Commission in Lagos, and would love to come for dinner.

But I have no money for air fare to UK, because of price of noodles here is so high. My salary is not large, but I try to make ends meet with piano recitals; could you send me to bank a few thousand pounds so I can visit you?

Hmm that sounds familiar ......

N A Gasaki

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 33

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:48:58 AM

LadyEllen

Posts: 10931
Joined: 6/30/2006
From: Stourport-England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

Dear Miss Gasaki,

Yes depending on answers to the following:

1) How does attracting partners by pretending not to be a cannibal fit in with Japanese BDSM etiquette.....consenting or non-consenting?

2) Has anyone tried to slow cook you? Do you go a nice pink colour right the way through or do you tend to burn around the edges?

Hi

I love since long time cannibals. They make big noise at the Commission because are firing every holiday. What am BDSM etiquette please?

Yes, I have been slow cocked many times, but I do not change colour?

When you send to Western Union please?

Sue Zuki

_____________________________

In a test against the leading brand, 9 out of 10 participants couldnt tell the difference. Dumbasses.

(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 34

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:49:38 AM

KeirasSecret

Posts: 415
Joined: 8/17/2006
From: central NH
Status: offline

quote:

So, if I tell a dominant that I want to bend them over and viciously sodomize their ass will they provide the lube?

Hey! I was told lube is not necessary. Do you think I was lied to?

Be well,

_____________________________

It apears to me, the practice of "an eye for an eye" has finally taken it's toll; the majority are now walking around blind.

Bitching; whining in a louder voice.

If the truth hurts, change it!

(in reply to wyldsubmissive)

Post #: 35

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:52:45 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

but I do not change colour?

Mods! another charlatan who won't get "on her knees bitch" with her head in the oven. Can't you do something about these time wasters?!

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to LadyEllen)

Post #: 36

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:53:01 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

I just forgot what the hell I was going to type........fucking whoremoans

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to KeirasSecret)

Post #: 37

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 8:58:49 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: KeirasSecret

quote:

I'm a recovering cannibal.

Oh my word! I have not dared to ask what happened to Sir's last sub since he told me he killed her. Maybe he has the same problem as you. Perhaps you know him?

Be well,

I may have come across him at the New Hampshire cannibal convention last year. The problem with us cannibals is we only ever seem to meet once and consequently don't get to know each other.

On a brighter note, if he eats you, you can rest in peace in the knowledge you made the ultimate submissive act for your partner.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to KeirasSecret)

Post #: 38

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 9:01:27 AM

Lorelei115

Posts: 1933
Joined: 8/16/2006
From: Sin City
Status: offline

Dear cannibal-

It has come to my attention that all your mentoring was done online, and you are not using the proper mirepoix ratio of 2:2:1 in your soups. Also, you are quite possibly a flying spaghetti monster from outerspace who is posing as a human to lure in innocent young subs who cannot take care of themselves. Therefore, I'm busting your level back down to "sewer rat" and putting in an application to get you kicked out of the old guard.

So there. Neener neener neener.

Much love and adoration,
your pet.

_____________________________

A sucessful life is not measured by what we do
But by the realization
Of who we are.

(in reply to NorthernGent)

Post #: 39

RE: This simply wont do! - 2/6/2007 9:07:30 AM

NorthernGent

Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lorelei115

Dear cannibal-

It has come to my attention that all your mentoring was done online, and you are not using the proper mirepoix ratio of 2:2:1 in your soups. Also, you are quite possibly a flying spaghetti monster from outerspace who is posing as a human to lure in innocent young subs who cannot take care of themselves. Therefore, I'm busting your level back down to "sewer rat" and putting in an application to get you kicked out of the old guard.

So there. Neener neener neener.

Much love and adoration,
your pet.

Dear Mods,

My pet is telling everyone I'm not in the Old Guard. Please help me

Cannibal6

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to Lorelei115)

Post #: 40

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