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mp072004 -> RE: Should a dominant be subjected to the same implements that he subjects his submissive to? (2/8/2007 6:11:53 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Invictus754
quote:
ORIGINAL: mp072004
It's not necessary to have properly bottomed in order to top well. It's often not necessary to ask someone else to hit you to properly feel the toy in question. However, if you haven't hit/electrified/scratched yourself with the implement, how do you know that it would be fun to hit/electrify/scratch someone else with it? Knowing the exact sort of sensation each of your toys provides makes you a more effective top, because you know which toy to use to cause the precise sensation you want.
Monica
I hate to disagree, but I have to. No two people have the same pain tolerence, and I would hate to have to have a Dom with neural damage hit himself hard with some blunt force toy a few times and say "That doesn't hurt" and then start wailing on a sub. Ask someone who is color blind what they see in a color picture and you'll find that two different bodies process the same information in MUCH different ways. You will never know the "exact sort of sensation each of your toys provides" to someone else.
True, pain thresholds and tolerances differ, which is why whacking oneself isn't a substitute for observing the responses of one's bottom. But differences don't render this manner of information-gathering entirely uselss. I learn something about my toys when I whack myself. Then, by observing bottoms' reactions, I can somewhat "translate" the way they experience pain to the way I understand my toys.
Not long ago, I was playing with a gentleman who was very sensitive to "stingy", surface sensations of impact toys. When I tried one implement, a rubber baton that most people, including me, consider "thuddy with a touch of sting," and he deemed that stingy, I knew that I needed to think about the toys that offered absolutely no sensation of surface disturbance. This narrowed the pool of toys that I then tried on him while observing feedback--I eliminated things that I perceived as having a negligible amount of sting, because what I thought was "thuddy with a little sting," translated, in this man's mind, to "intolerably stingy."
Hitting myself gives me a sense of my toys relative to one another. Feedback from the bottom in question makes that scale useful. If I hit someone with one item, and he perceives it as too hard, too soft, too thuddy, etc., I then know that the toys I think are much harder, much thuddier, much lighter, etc., should probably be removed from my pool of prospective implements with this person.
Hitting oneself is useful for shopping, too. If I know that I have a paddle that feels this particular way at home, and I'm out shopping for a paddle that offers a different sensation, I can hit myself and determine whether the sensation is different enough to be worth buying.
Monica
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