Missokyst
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Joined: 9/9/2006
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ORIGINAL: mixielicous
origional thread can be found here
here is a list of "how to be a good wife"
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Back in the days I was married, making sure he was fed was a big part of my job. However, during the 7 yrs of my internment he was probably working only 1/2 the time. Sometimes making sure he was fed got to be bothersome knowing that I was doing something for someone who had time to do it himself.
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Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
I would agree that looking like you spent all day laying around in sweats is probably not a good plan if you want someone to spend time between your legs. But that's nilla or ds'y, imo
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Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
This may be more true if BOTH parties kept things interesting, since likely as not, both people probably work.
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Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
Keeping it clean is better than tripping over towels and what nots no matter what your situation. But this also assumes that the wife would arrive home before her mate.
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During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
I miss having a fireplace..
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Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
Often this is the only time of the day where you can wash, vacuum, on interact with your kids for many families. Though if the kids have video games, who sees them anymore?
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Be happy to see him.
Hopefully this is true for both of you.
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Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Ditto to my above statement
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Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Umm... not always. Life happens. Sometimes you or your children MIGHT take precedence.
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Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Ok... my evil side is coming out now. I agree. Save those things for when sports are on. LOL..
Seriously, things will come up. While it's not a good plan to discuss issues immediately when people come home, remember things do come up and should be discussed in a timely manner.
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Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
WHAT?? When he was out all night and I shouldn't have complained? Well dang. Here I thought it was just enough to cook him dinner at 4 am after he came home from the bars. I didn't know his not coming home all night didn't merit my questions. The things you learn..
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Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
No comment
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Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Agreed, soothing beats strident anytime.
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Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
How did he reach this state of perfection?
My problem with these things are geared to someone who has had to work, raise kids, and come home to do these things. A lot of us out there are also working. There are issues of conflicting schedules, life issues, and who knows what, that can interfere with this 50's state of "perfection". I can recall my mom living this life for quite a few years. But her mouth is set now in a permanant tight lipped control and deep furrows worn in between her eyes in suppressed irritation. And she spent many of those years taking drugs to keep her calm.
I believe relationships should not fall so heavily on one set of shoulders. While it is nice to strive for ideals, it would be great if both parties put a decent effort into making a relationship work.
This is not knocking the idea of ds, but stressing the idea that keeping things fresh and healthy are not solely the the responsibility of one.
Kyst
_____________________________
pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley
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