RE: Questions about when to Re-locate for a Dominant...

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RE: Questions about when to Re-locate for a Dominant... - 2/12/2007 3:37:07 PM

DiurnalVampire

Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline

I'll toss my 2 cents into the mix, since I relocated. I dd not do so FOR my boy, but he was a definate perk of my moving here.
We knew one another for 7 months before the move, and had spent 1 3day weekend and one 7 day vacation together before I had considered it. I also made sure that there was more to being out here than JUST him. Since I had been looking into places to move to get the hell out of Vegas anyhow, Nashville had been on my list.
I made sure that careerwise, the move would be benefical. I was not going to cut my nose off to spite my face, I dont care how perfect a pet was I wasnt going to commit career suicide for him.
I made sure I was not going to have any problem affording to live here and that I was not going to be placing myself ina really unfavorable finiancial situation just to be out on my own.
Keep in mind there are no gaurantees that people are going to stay together. Make sure that wherever you move, you will be able and happy (or at least content) staying there long term even if things do not work out with the person you are relocating to see. And if you cannot do tat, make sure you have a plan of where to head and how to get there assuming things dont go the way you planned and you decide you cannot stay where you are.
AS much as I love Angel, I made sure al my backup plans were in place before I came out here. Reality trumps emotion, in this case, and I have no gaurantees he and I will be together permanently. So, I had to make sure I was going to be happy and made sure that inthe event things didnt work with him, I knew what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it.

DV

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I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

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VampiresLair

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RE: Questions about when to Re-locate for a Dominant... - 2/12/2007 6:50:22 PM

JasonF

Posts: 61
Joined: 5/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

The important piece of information? We've only been dating for a month. But in that month we have spent obscene amounts of time together talking, laughing, and feeling each other out. You know those obnoxious lovey dovey people who say that the moment they met each other, they 'knew'? It's not QUITE that obnoxious, but it is close. If you click with someone, you click with them. Just because the feelings in a relationship and the dynamics of a relationship are established quickly does automatically discredit those dynamics. I honestly believe some people are capable of opening up to each other and going through the things it takes others months or years to go through in a shorter period of time. If it works, why knock it? I certainly think that caution should be taken, but if some good comes I accepted it at whatever its natural pace is. Maybe you are one of those people. Maybe you are ready to move to be with him after such a short period of time. It is possible. It is also possible that moving might be a horrible decision.

Hey baby :)

The important thing to remember, in my mind, is that if the decision fits in with your life without the other person in the situation. In JC's case, her life would be minorly affected -- go east for school instead of west. In the case of the original poster -- that might not be the case. To me, that then becomes a much deeper commitment to move nearer to someone. You give up a part of your safety net.

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RE: Questions about when to Re-locate for a Dominant... - 2/12/2007 7:10:42 PM

cariad

Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline

as someone who relocated after only knowing the Dom for a year, i would say ask yourself the following questions:

1: Is this what i really want?

2: Is this what HE really wants?

3: Will i be happy leaving behind my only source of support other than Him?

4: Will He be happy if i have to fly home several times a year to deal with family issues?

5: will you be happy if you have to fly home several time a year to deal with family issues?

6: Do i really want to move so far away from those i love?

7: is HE willing to let you fly home to visit family and friends every so many months or have them come to see you once in a while?

8: are you willing to give up the life you are accustomed to now?

9: if the answer is yes to any of these: Ask yourself these questions and then pose them to Him.

10: Make a list of pros and cons to moving, if the pros outweigh the cons great, if not redo the list and see which comes out on top later.

That being said after knowing the guy for only 2months you want to move to be closer to Him?

oy vey, i have only known Daddy for about a week now and yes i'd love to move there to be with Him, but even HE agrees we need to know each other better and then spend a few weeks here and there with each other after and ONLY after we spend the weekends together for at least 2 months.

He and i agree that 2 months of weekends is a great start, then try a week here and a week there for a couple months, then try a month at a time and if it works out that you and He can handle it then move in together.

"Only Fools Rush In," i dunno who said that but it is so very true.

i have seen many a Dom/Domme and slave/sub get hurt by rushing things especially after only a short time, do NOT become another statistic or number.

i am not trying to scare you, but give you something to seriously think about..

LA: as always i appreciate your posts darlin cause they make me sit back and think before i do something stupid errrrr that may cause me harm.

Take Care, Stay Safe, Think about this seriously OP.

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The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

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Post #: 63

RE: Questions about when to Re-locate for a Dominant... - 2/12/2007 7:14:15 PM

asassylilslave

Posts: 93
Status: offline

I will be totally honest. If I have to ask myself if I am making the right decision to relocate; then as far as I am concerned, it is not the right time or the right person.

It's right when you have NO doubts what-so-ever.

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