Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/13/2007 7:01:58 AM   
toservez


Posts: 1733
Joined: 9/7/2006
From: All over now in Minnesota
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MaryT

quote:

ORIGINAL: Wiplash

After chatting with a number of subbies/slaves, it appears that may prefer a Dom who will humiliate them with derogatory names, remakes or words. I have too much respect for womanhood to do so in such a vulgar manor and goes against my personal code of conduct. Therefore the question is posed once again ...Can a Dom be a Gentlemen?


I don't think you really wanted answers, since you seemingly answered your own question in the previous sentence.  Your post looks like a profile booster to me, but I'll play.

Words are tricky.  What do you define as a gentleman?  What do you define as "derogatory"?  I am betting that certain labels you would define as "derogatory" are hot buttons for me.  I do not consider a dom who uses them well to be less a gentleman for it. 

I don't particularly care for the use of "womanhood" in your post, although "women" wouldn't have bothered me at all.  Why?  I dunno ... I could easily say, "I respect men," but I would not say, "I respect manhood."

MaryT



I agree with this. It appears to just be my way is the right way and this makes me better then others type of post.

The word gentlemen and determining what is one is a definition game and add to it that every man considers himself a gentlemen and every woman who cares for their man thinks that man is also a gentlemen then this is a pretty useless concept. It is like someone calling themselves honest. Who ever calls themselves dishonest.

To the OP your profile you call yourself sadistic among other things. Please tell me by your definition what makes physical pain “gentlemanly” but humiliation and degradation not? In the end you need a woman who responds to pain positively and for some men and women humiliation and things of that nature do the exact same thing.

As a woman who is very into the type of play you do not consider “gentlemanly” for the life of me I do not see the difference between that play and pain play. All my owners have been perfect “gentlemen” and when they play in the humiliation and degradation play they are treating me with respect and caring for me by the nature of who I am.

It is to each there own, making statements that try to make you appear better then others would probably be not the most “gentlemanly” thing to do.



_____________________________

I am sorry I do not fit Webster's defintion of a slave but thankfully my Master is not Webster.

"Anything that contradicts experience and logic should be abandoned." - H.H. The 14th Dalai Lama

(in reply to MaryT)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/13/2007 11:42:02 AM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wiplash

After chatting with a number of subbies/slaves, it appears that may prefer a Dom who will humiliate them with derogatory names, remakes or words. I have too much respect for womanhood to do so in such a vulgar manor and goes against my personal code of conduct. Therefore the question is posed once again ...Can a Dom be a Gentlemen?


Yes of course. As it has been stated many times on this forum, people come in different shapes and flavors. Your interpretation of dominance doesn't have to mirror anyone else's. What's most important is that your style compliments and benefits your partner and you as well. The person I am involved with is very much a gentleman and I was concerned if my interests would be offputting. However, I believe that we all make compromises and discover a way to meet in the middle. I believe it is far easier to adapt or tolerate different forms of sexual expression than it is for one to gain the manners they never possessed.

porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Wiplash)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/13/2007 3:53:55 PM   
venusdiva429


Posts: 44
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline 		I've come across so many sweet gents on here that it's restored my faith in men, to a degree, lol! It's bloody hot when a guy is suave and mannerly...only to whack you on the ass and tell you something very, very bad sotto voce. Rooowr. Gentlemanly doesn't mean prudish!

_____________________________

Relationships, fiction, and personal development fabulousness at Luscious Life!

Never be an option when he's your priority. Just...don't. You are a true gem to a true man!

(in reply to innatedesire)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 6:31:01 AM   
sweetnurseBBW


Posts: 2464
Joined: 1/26/2006
From: North Carolina
Status: offline 		I enjoy being called names as you mentioned. Master is very much a gentleman. It has nothing to do with respecting my womanhood. It is something we both enjoy.

_____________________________

Sir Pain's pain slut

(in reply to Wiplash)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 7:50:28 AM   
damia


Posts: 190
Joined: 10/26/2006
Status: offline 		Most definitely, Sir. Just as an example, many Scadians (members of the Society for Creative Anachronism) are also part of our lifestyle. Many of the men of this group are very courteous, chivalrous, and very gentlemanly, as is appropriate for the Middle Ages. But they are also that in their mundane lifes. That is what attracted me to m'Lord from the start. He knows how to take charge and knows when to punish, but He is very chivalrous and courteous.

At SCA events, we did have conflict between the Master/slave relationship and the Lord/Lady relationship. But now we have made it a rule that when we are at SCA events, i am to act the part of a Lady and not a slave. There are similarities, but at events is when His chivalry comes out.

But to answer your question, there is nothing wrong with a courteous and gentlemanly Dominant man. In my book, it is even better if that is who He is.

(in reply to Wiplash)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 8:22:23 AM   
Vinnislilone


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/22/2007
Status: offline 		well  my Master is a Gentleman. some it of it comes being raised southern but it is just Him. in the bedroom well that at times maybe something else. but He is a Gentleman at all other times.

(in reply to damia)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 8:29:04 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: innatedesire
Of course they can  why  not? Not all subs/slaves like humiliation; if that is not your kink  then that is not your  kink, keep looking nothing wrong with that, sooner or later you will find one that shares your  views.


Well and there's nothing that says you can't enjoy humiliation AND gentlmanliness.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to innatedesire)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 8:30:57 AM   
Argentopal


Posts: 379
Joined: 12/12/2005
From: Central Texas / Hill Country
Status: offline 		For me / Us being a gentleman goes hand in hand with being Dominant and being a lady goes hand in hand with ... well with everything. Who says a Gentleman and a Lady can't have deviant sexual desires and engage in the appropriate activities?  Being a Lady and or a Gentleman in all walks of life, no matter your position or relation to others, just makes you a nicer person to be around.  It doens't even have to do with knowing which fork to use, it has more to do with how you treat others, the respect you have for them and most of all, the respect you have for yourself.

But that's just our pov.
MsOpal

(in reply to Vinnislilone)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 8:52:27 AM   
sambamanslilgirl


Posts: 10926
Joined: 2/5/2007
From: Chicago, IL
Status: offline 		there are two sides to my DaddyDom. He's the nurturing gent who i love to snuggle on His lap when He's in the Daddy mode.  howerver i tend to love the Dom side of Him when He uses harsh words such as bitch because He knows saying them arouses me.

_____________________________

...2011 - year of the fabulous rock star life ...and i do it so well...


...announcing Mr. & Mrs. British Petrol ...yeah, marrying into oil is slick business...

(in reply to Wiplash)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 10:10:50 AM   
PONYSEEKER


Posts: 364
Joined: 9/11/2006
Status: offline 		Atually you would really be shocked at how well being a gentlemen dom really goes.
You would be even more shocked to see what you can do with the word please.
They honestly dont know how to react to it.

(in reply to innatedesire)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 12:48:39 PM   
littleone35


Posts: 2828
Joined: 2/17/2005
Status: offline 		MyMaster is 100% genteman and 100% Dom.  He never caslls me names Eccept swwt ones because humilation is a total turn off for me and it is not his kink anyway.

Matt's littleone

(in reply to PONYSEEKER)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 1:41:42 PM   
Arastella


Posts: 262
Joined: 7/22/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wiplash

After chatting with a number of subbies/slaves, it appears that may prefer a Dom who will humiliate them with derogatory names, remakes or words. I have too much respect for womanhood to do so in such a vulgar manor and goes against my personal code of conduct. Therefore the question is posed once again ...Can a Dom be a Gentlemen?
Well, of course.  Though some submissives don't prefer it, some do as well.  Such as me.  I would never wish to be degraded, as my self esteem sucks as is.  Mistress would never be that harsh towards me.

(in reply to Wiplash)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 6:29:35 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wiplash

After chatting with a number of subbies/slaves, it appears that may prefer a Dom who will humiliate them with derogatory names, remakes or words. I have too much respect for womanhood to do so in such a vulgar manor and goes against my personal code of conduct. Therefore the question is posed once again ...Can a Dom be a Gentlemen?


My dominant is very much a gentleman. This morning I woke up to find a red rose sitting atop my laptop along with a card detailing how much he cares for me and how much the time we've been together has meant to him. He took me out for a lovely dinner, bought me a wonderful glass of wine and even encouraged me to order a fantastic dessert (hey, any man who doesn't mind paying extra for a dessert is good by me ), and had another rose delivered to me at the end of the meal. All these are gentlemanly behaviors. He is a gentleman. However, during sex and scenes we both delight in his calling me a whore, fucktoy and other humilating things.

So yes, it's completely possible to be both a gentleman and a dominant. It's all about what you do where. He would never dream of calling me his little whore in public (save by whispering it in my ear to get me all antsy).

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Wiplash)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 7:20:46 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline 		Sounds like a lovely evening.  Good for you!  And I swear that I am not turning green with envy ... it's the stomach flu. 

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 7:22:31 PM   
MaryT


Posts: 553
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross
Well and there's nothing that says you can't enjoy humiliation AND gentlmanliness.


If it makes me want to be whatever he is calling me, I can't consider it humiliation.  Confusing. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 7:34:54 PM   
rascallymisty


Posts: 123
Joined: 8/1/2006
Status: offline 		My one and only Master was very much a gentlemen, I hope when I am ready to seek my next Master he will be as well.
 
~ misty ~

(in reply to Wiplash)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/14/2007 8:47:49 PM   
curiouspet55


Posts: 133
Joined: 10/13/2006
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wiplash

After chatting with a number of subbies/slaves, it appears that may prefer a Dom who will humiliate them with derogatory names, remakes or words. I have too much respect for womanhood to do so in such a vulgar manor and goes against my personal code of conduct. Therefore the question is posed once again ...Can a Dom be a Gentlemen?


I certainly hope so... I wouldn't want any less. I don't want to be humiliated with words or insulting names. I know I may be in the minority around here, but I want to feel cherished, treasured, loved, and respected. I want to submit, yes, and some humiliation in different ways is ok, but I don't want the hardcore type of humiliation. I want a boyfriend and lover who can be my Dom but a gentleman as well. It is what I would demand of a man in a vanilla relationship, and is what I expect in a D/s one as well.

_____________________________

Question everything, try anything, do something.

(in reply to Wiplash)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/15/2007 2:31:40 AM   
Syndreamer


Posts: 6
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		Rule of thumb for me as a Dom, anything I say derogatory or degrading during the session, stays in the session. Sometimes being the gentleman can be put to use as well. Afterwards I cuddle her, I kiss her, etc.

(in reply to curiouspet55)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Can a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/15/2007 7:56:32 AM   
amayos


Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Wiplash
Can a Dom be a Gentlemen?


The most sinister designs often come in the prettiest packages. Of course, I don't mean to use "sinister" in a bad way. :)

Those with the most gravity tend to be intelligent, refined and discriminating; they have appreciation for the finer things in life, and show good taste and manners. This is not to say there is any lack of serpent in their bosom; rather the contrast tends to be all the more alluring. As dominant beings, we should hone the ability to beguile. We should be beautiful and powerful above all things, and leave the filth of the ordinary to itself.

(in reply to Wiplash)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Can a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/15/2007 9:15:38 AM   
silverwings0002


Posts: 14
Joined: 2/9/2007
Status: offline 		As Some have said, being 'gentlemanly' [or ladylike] even while in the midst of scening, can be very erotic. One is putting down the sub politely, curteously. Respecting them as a human while dehumanizing them, so to speak. The contrast of it all is very...uhmmmm. And to top it all off, it is just being natural.

_____________________________

Teasing is My lifestyle.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is always more: to give, to receive, to become.

(in reply to amayos)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078