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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/15/2007 10:31:26 AM

grlneedstolearn

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Mine is a total sweetie and doesn't like to use derogatory names on me.

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/15/2007 11:02:10 AM

Wildfleurs

Posts: 1650
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Yes.

C~

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/15/2007 1:17:25 PM

BobtheSubBuilder

Posts: 55
Joined: 2/8/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

My Master is very much one. He is kind, caring, opens doors for me, and is always considerate of my feelings. He does call me his slut in bed, but I am his slut so it doesn't hold anything negative for me at all. If someone on the street does it, they won't walk straight again for a while.

Sometimes there can be nothing more gentlemenly (sp) than having a nice deep voice in my ear saying "turn over and get on your knees so I can fuck you, slut"...knowing that same voice will tell you how much they love you several times a day.

To me its not crude, its foreplay.

You could be talking about me there! Uncanny!

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/23/2007 1:52:23 PM

Butterthemuffin

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/23/2007
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WOW, what an eye opener. I am head over heals in love with a woman who is introducing me to the life style. I love what I have expierienced already and your insight just stuck with me. Thank you.

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/23/2007 1:58:24 PM

BabyNyla

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Joined: 9/15/2006
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~puts on her Domme hat for the moment~ ... I *expect* my Daddy/hubby to be a gentleman. After all, I am his most prized possession, so why shouldn't he treat me like it and make me feel that way? hehe. He is never humiliating or rude with me (unless I deserve it). He sends flowers to me at work, opens doors for me, takes care fo the household when I am feeling sick ... and sometimes I even get massages. If he were to treat me otherwise (like he did the other day) I would snap him back to reality damn fast, lol. Okay ... the princess is done with her speech now and heads back to cleaning.

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/23/2007 5:19:55 PM

sillygirl09

Posts: 446
Joined: 1/31/2007
From: New Jersey
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Just because at times I want him to humiliate and degrade me does not mean that I don't expect him to open doors for me too :)

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/23/2007 6:01:13 PM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wiplash

After chatting with a number of subbies/slaves, it appears that may prefer a Dom who will humiliate them with derogatory names, remakes or words. I have too much respect for womanhood to do so in such a vulgar manor and goes against my personal code of conduct. Therefore the question is posed once again ...Can a Dom be a Gentlemen?

I have read no further than this original question so please forgive me if I am rehashing every single post here.

Humiliation can be ~hot~. Just because it's something a Dom or Master might do does not make Him less of a gentleman. Not at all. Not at all.

I love the name "slut" (and a few others I won't metion here) and I know my Master cares deeply about me. He's respectful, He is wise, and He knows where to draw the line. Play is play.

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If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/23/2007 6:08:22 PM

slaveish

Posts: 1086
Joined: 2/19/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sleazybutterfly

Sometimes there can be nothing more gentlemenly (sp) than having a nice deep voice in my ear saying "turn over and get on your knees so I can fuck you, slut"...knowing that same voice will tell you how much they love you several times a day.

~fanning herself~ Good lord. I need a cold drink and a cigarette now.

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If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other. ~~Mother Teresa

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 2/23/2007 7:25:51 PM

TemptingNviceSub

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It seems to me as sated in a whole other thread a wee while back that a Dominant can be anything from a gentleman to an azzwipe..being Dominant does not preclude being who they are at the core of their being...Of course I prefer a Loving Dominant..others do not...whatever tickles your bells .....Tempting

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 3/15/2007 12:55:22 PM

Darkhaven80

Posts: 76
Joined: 3/12/2007
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I DO NOT want degraded at all, but instead to feel special to that person. I'm also not into humiliation. So nope, there are submissives out there who don't want to be treated that way, you just have to keep looking I guess.

Note: There is nothing wrong with being degraded if that does float your boat.

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 3/15/2007 3:29:20 PM

raevnn

Posts: 152
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My owner is a gentleman.

Brutal, behind closed doors, but a gentleman when and where it counts.

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 3/15/2007 9:32:28 PM

thegunslinger

Posts: 81
Joined: 6/4/2006
From: Grand Rapids, Michigan
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I certainly consider myself a gentlemen, and so does my girl. Being considered a gentlemen is a judgement call, what is or isn't gentlemenly is ultimately decided by dom and sub.

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 3/18/2007 11:20:51 PM

BlackSakura

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Yes, but I believe He can be both.

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 3/19/2007 9:52:36 AM

Arabella21

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Joined: 3/12/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Wiplash

After chatting with a number of subbies/slaves, it appears that may prefer a Dom who will humiliate them with derogatory names, remakes or words. I have too much respect for womanhood to do so in such a vulgar manor and goes against my personal code of conduct. Therefore the question is posed once again ...Can a Dom be a Gentlemen?

I love the idea of a gentleman, but one who can take me over his knee and teach me a lesson. I always imagined Doms would be gentlemanly but nasty at the same time. Sort of bittersweet in a way.

It doesn't threaten my "womanhood" when a man humiliates me. It excites me, even empowers me in a way, but there's a major difference between calling someone an stupid ugly bitch as opposed to a dirty little slut, (I prefer the latter, funnily enough) if you know what I mean.

I suppose at the end of the day, it depends on what floats your boat. :)

Bella xo

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 3/19/2007 9:56:43 AM

Arabella21

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And that's a nice Anais Nin quote you've got there slaveish ;)

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 3/19/2007 10:01:29 AM

SirDiscipliner69

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Joined: 2/1/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: TemptingNviceSub
from a gentleman to an azzwipe

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 3/19/2007 10:07:49 AM

Satyr6406

Posts: 820
Joined: 3/27/2006
From: New Brunswick, N.J.
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I just HAVE to jump in here ...

This is a subject that is near and dear to my heart because, to me, it's a "no-brainer".

First of all; as many have said: Having manners doesn't cost anything but, to my mind there's an even deeper issue, here.

To me, D/s is NOT about the dominant taking anything. The submissive gives, freely and the dominant accepts, graciously. I shouldn't have to say: "Bitch, go get me a soda!". She should know that I enjoy my soda, as soon as I walk through the door. I have no problem with saying: "Baby, would you please go and ..." but, when it comes to certain things, I shouldn't have to.

Here's a good example: My lady (who doesn't consider herself to be a submissive) bought Ritz Crackers and Swiss cheese, a couple of weeks ago. I remarked: "I have always liked Ritz Crackers and I LOVE Swiss cheese."

Since that day, there has not been a 24 hour period where both of these items have not been in the house. THAT'S submission (or at least, a sign of it), in my mind.

As far as "play time"? You know: "Come on, you little cumhole. You know you're just a naughty little cunt." Sure that has it's place but, it's PLAY time. Everyone of us - no matter how we identify ourselves - is deserving of basic human courtesy and anyone that doesn't give it is not just "not a dominant" but, a sorry excuse for a human being (in my humble opinion).

Peace and comfort,

Michael

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 4/11/2007 8:39:28 PM

phoenixinchains

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Yes, Doms can be gentleman. My Master/Alpha/Love/Mate has never treated me with anything but respect, just as I have strove to every bit as repectful. IMHO a sub that surrenders themself unto one they do not trust is playing a dangerous game, no? Trust comes from mutual respect. No? - Phoenix

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 4/11/2007 9:02:32 PM

Mustardseed

Posts: 291
Joined: 5/27/2006
From: Seattle, WA
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One of the best dominants I know has a public face and a play face. His public face is very approachable, and often gets him labeled as "nice," "a sweetie" and "a gentleman." After he gets them in the cuffs and chains, his bottoms soon learn to eat those words. Outside of play, I never hear the word "slut" come out of his mouth unless he's impersonating his play persona.

So, is he a gentleman or a cad? Yes.

Two of the dearest men in my life are what I like to call "gentlemen thugs." One is Daddy, and the other is someone consider my Guardian Demon (and is married to one of my best buddies). They are, for the sake of this discussion, bad men who are sweet to me. Both men can unleash a torrent of creative and vulgar curses at the drop of a dime. The Demon is a gentleman, and Daddy is stunning in his protectiveness of his loved ones and his appreciation of both the little and the finer things in life.

Gentlemen or brutes? Yes.

Maybe this is similar to the Madonna/Whore double-standard, though it doesn't seem nearly as difficult to uphold.

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RE: CAn a Dom be a Gentlemen? - 4/12/2007 6:22:18 AM

sweetstorm

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Actually, nothing turns me on more than to hear nasty words spoken in a degrading tone coming from the lips of a gentleman.

For some reason, the combo is what makes me hotter than hell. You know He doesn't use those words with just anyone.

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