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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 2/27/2007 8:17:36 AM   
Sylph


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In my past I have sissified men. I like the bit o naughtiness and humiliation this little bit o kink entails.

My current partner is a MTF transsexual. We do not do any forced femme stuff. The reason is very simple. She is a girl and gets no kink out of being forced to dress in clothes that are comfortable for her.  There for there is no kink for me to feed off of. I would not even suggest forcing her to wear men's clothes. It would be insulting and psychologically harmful to her.

In my opinion backed by a bit of research (some of which was previously provided by DigitBox ) Gender dysmorphia is organic, just like the intersexed infants or the infants that are born with an extra finger.  The fact that it involves the sex organs and brain instead of an extra pinky makes a simple medical issue a moral one. You probably would not confuse someone who has an extra finger with  a glove fetishist.

Sylph
Edited for spelling
 
 
 

< Message edited by Sylph -- 2/27/2007 8:26:41 AM >

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 2/27/2007 3:09:01 PM   
orfunboi


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OK, gotta ask...what's a lesbian male?

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 2/27/2007 7:58:05 PM   
Mikal


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A man that was born on the Isle of Lesbos.

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 2/28/2007 2:49:59 PM   
orfunboi


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Well in that case, i wish him much luck in his search...my guess is that would be hard to find.

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 2/28/2007 4:20:20 PM   
FiretheAngel


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*'scuse me, but I've always thought of sissies like little toys. *smiles

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/4/2007 2:27:38 AM   
MsSophie


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I do not understand where the notion that "sissies" would be demanding comes from.
The Boudoir (one of the community sites I run) has over 3000 members, most of which consider themselves sissies, and they are the most grateful, least demanding group I have ever come across! All they want is a space where they are allowed to live out the feminine part of their personality, show off pictures of themselves and engage in conversation with likeminded people. There is no bickering, very little herassment, and so far I have heard no demands.
The only thing I ever hear/read, which could possibly be interpreted as such, is the longing and envy when there is someone who has a female partner indulging in the fantasy with them.
I love my "girls" and I will be standing up for them, with admiration, any day!


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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/4/2007 12:02:23 PM   
LadyEllen


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I'm amazed this thread is still going!

To answer Petdave, the point of the thread was to ask those considering themselves to be sissies, what kind of partners would be suitable for them in indulging their particular scene. The intention behind this question was to try to establish from the answers given, whether it is indeed all about them (perhaps indicated by them answering that any of the partner options would be suitable) or to try to show that the type of partner preferred is important, perhaps thereby indicating that it is not all about them.

What the thread was not about, was other crossdressers or those engaged in gender transition, except of course in the obvious sense that they were a partner option, for the sake of completeness of options with the aim of the question in mind.

So far, I dont think we have had a sufficient response to judge anything really, though it seems to me to be tending towards it not being purely about the sissy getting his enjoyment only, as the nature of the preferred partner may seemingly be determined by the sexuality of the sissy in question; hence the fetish is equal to or less in importance to the overall sexuality, and so it is not all about them as much as is seemingly thought by the majority.

E



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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/4/2007 12:39:07 PM   
skirtboy43


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Yes!

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/6/2007 7:37:26 AM   
Richh56


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As a lifestyle sissy i seek out a nature born Lady. One who enjoys stripping me of my malehood and trains me as the perfect submissive sissy girl slave. One that may or may not wish to train me to service males if that so interest her and fills a need or desire she might have.

I think a lot of Dommes miss out an an excellent opertunity to have a most devoted submissive by automaticaly rejecting a submissive because he is a sissy. There are a lot of practical uses for a sissy with in the relationship. such as a maid, girl friend and almost automatic cockold slave or sub.

Sissys are more submissive then the average male and 99% have a deeper meaning to the lifestyle of Femdom in general.

Ladys, you sell your self short when you refuse to even consider a sissy as a possible sub

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/6/2007 8:03:12 AM   
DiannaVesta


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This is the second or third time I’m coming here to read this thread. I want to respond but wanted to think carefully about my words. I find myself always saying that there are expectations to the rules so we all know this already so I’m not in any way generalizing.
 

 
I personally adore sissies. I’m not all that into crossdressers and trannies (bio men dressed as women) because in my view it is the essence of the woman that makes her so. I will never believe that you can change that no matter how many hormones or wigs you put on. Sissies on the other hand make no real attempt to be a woman fully and there is that subtle thread of humiliation that exist. This makes me hot. The reason is that they truly do honor and adore women but sometimes have a difficult time shifting into submission. Dressing and becoming sissified helps them move into that space easier. Its not that they feel women are submissive by nature, a mistake many make, but that realize they can never fully become as good or superior as a woman.
 
 
 
It’s a blend of age & gender play mixed with female domination. A sissy left without proper training would of course focus on himself because what else should he focus on? If they get all wrapped up in then meet someone I honestly feel they are overtly trying to impress the new mistress. I’m not saying they aren’t needy or that some are selfish, however in my experience I have generally not experienced this from a well trained sissy.

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/7/2007 2:24:25 AM   
SubmissiveAK


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While I dont consider myself a sissy, it does interest me. I do prefer feminization. There are differences which I feel affect this poll. I'm also a transexual, which makes it an even more skewed POV, but I will speak as to what I can.

1 - a natural born woman: I think this is ideal for many sissys, and for FF as well. Who better to know how to create femnity than one who is a female? A woman must have a personal interest in it though, or else it will always seem forced.

2 - I think a man can be very good for creating a sissy, a strong, strict Master can take a scared, curious male sub and create a beautiful, submissive, sissy sub in whatever image he wants. Being a sniveling, sissy cocksucker adds a entirely different level to the submission factor.

3 - A transexual woman would be very good for creating a feminine creature, but would have more difficulties with a sissy into humiliation simply because a sissy who wants to be humiliated, not nessisarly looking passible, is very different from a TS' experience of wanting to apear as female as possible.

4 - A transexual male might be the worst at creating a sissy. Most F2M reject feminity and unless you happened to find a guy who fit the male wanting a sissy role, I dont think it would work out.

5 - I dont think a crossdresser would help because, if he is into it enough to think about sissy's, he may be one himself.



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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/7/2007 4:08:24 AM   
LadyEllen


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Interesting reply there SubAK.

It does raise though, (again), the question of what is femininity? Every woman I know is feminine, and yet even they cannot adequately and comprehensively describe what it is, still less agree on it. It puts me in mind of the "George to Julia" television documentary we had in the UK in the 70s, where the TS woman was asked how she feels? She answered, "like a woman", and the consultant then asked the female student observer in the room, "how does it feel to be a woman?". The reply, not unsurprisingly was "I dont know. I feel like me".

To me, this indicates that there is something that is femininity, but that its impossible to pin down what it is, and it has enormous variations. We know it, when we see it, but there is no adequate description - its something personal to the person who is feminine, and something which others can detect instantly, but it cant be boxed and so cant be reproduced since we have no model to follow.

To my mind therefore, almost anyone could feminise a willing second person, but the result would be one determined by the feminiser's own understanding of feminine, which as we have seen is highly variable, and in the case of those considered feminine themselves, also varies widely between them, and is something so innate to them that it can be difficult to explain and so reproduce.

And this is why I believe, we so often see crossdressers affecting what they understand to be femininity, but which is so often deficient in its manner, and so attracts adverse reaction, particularly from those who are themselves naturally feminine who whilst not capable of ascertaining their own kind of femininity, are quite capable of spotting a simulation and not pleased by the result, in that they perceive that this is how the crossdresser sees them - which is actually not the case at all, but arises from the crossdresser's understanding of femininity, which in most cases is charged with sexual elements surrounding their attraction to the feminine in the first place.

And this to me is the determining factor - the sexuality of the crossdresser, in the choice of possible and best partners. Contrary to popular opinion perhaps, most crossdressers are heterosexual, so their ideal partner is going to be a natural female, with maybe a TS female as a possibility. Not because one or both of these is more adept at producing femininity, (since neither has a firm understanding of what femininity is, alike with everyone else), but because the whole activity of crossdressing in this context is a sexual one, and even with the humiliation factor, a male is not going to be viable as a partner for a heterosexual male.

E





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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/7/2007 4:10:38 AM   
MsSonnetMarwood


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Richh56

Sissys are more submissive then the average male and 99% have a deeper meaning to the lifestyle of Femdom in general.



In what way?  

I'm not being a smartass;  however, when you make such a statement, it's important to elaborate on what you're trying to say.  

< Message edited by MsSonnetMarwood -- 3/7/2007 4:12:45 AM >


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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/8/2007 4:35:54 AM   
SubmissiveAK


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quote:

"how does it feel to be a woman?". The reply, not unsurprisingly was "I dont know. I feel like me".


Thats a good way to put it. When I first took estrogen, it was a sense of.. of being myself again for the first time in my life. I know thats a wierd way to put it, but its how I feel. I dont know if I can capture the essense of feminity that might be inherent in biological women, but I can be myself. Thats what its all about, in my opinion.


I get the sense that some feel a sissy being forced to dress, or walk, look, act feminine in a public or private setting isnt submission because its what the sissy wants. Well, if I want to be tied up and to totally place myself in your hands, is it no longer submission to do so? I understand the concept of pushing limits, but a sub is a sub because they want to submit. Should the manner they want to submit matter?

If a sissy is only interested in being humiliated and dressed for thier own pleasure, its a fetish, not submission. Its the same as if I liked to have sex while handcuffed to a bed, but I didnt want to submit. BDSM has a wide range of kinks and fetishes that it can include. At the end of the day it is about submitting, not how you do it. Is it not?

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/8/2007 6:37:56 AM   
petdave


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen
To me, this indicates that there is something that is femininity, but that its impossible to pin down what it is, and it has enormous variations. We know it, when we see it, but there is no adequate description - its something personal to the person who is feminine, and something which others can detect instantly, but it cant be boxed and so cant be reproduced since we have no model to follow.


i would like to submit that "femininity" as an observable trait is not a single indefinable characteristic, but a composite of countless subtle variations in appearance, motions, responses, etc. etc. etc.  While the CD is often a great admirer of women, his "feminity" cherry-picks a relatively small number traits which typify femininity for him (often limited to archetypal feminine dress, voice, and walk). By missing the subtleties (which men RULE at ) he creates a shallow replica of femininity that, at least for some women, triggers a resentful response because they know that there's more to being a woman than putting on a dress and stockings. IMO, a "sissy" usually takes this a step further by exaggerating those outward cues of femininity and often creating a charicature (sp? ugh) of a woman, usually one following a model that is either immature or hasn't existed in decades. Why THAT happens, i have a hard time puzzling out (perhaps i should look up some of Lola's old posts). So while another heterosexual man could help refine a CD, he would be unlikely to really help him pass, though i imagine he could help make a sissy more "girly". But, the sissy/male Dom dynamic seems to be extremely rare, from what i've seen.



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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/8/2007 6:29:47 PM   
SweetDommes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Richh56

Sissys are more submissive then the average male and 99% have a deeper meaning to the lifestyle of Femdom in general.



And exactly what are you basing this statement on?  Of all of the sissies that I've talked to online and off, through posting and through e-mails, less than 2% were actually submissive (by "actually submissive," I mean, willing to serve, willing to please their Dominant, looking for a Domminant with kinks to match instead of  looking for a life support system for their one kink, etc.). 

I do make generalizations, but when I can give you estimated numbers on how many I've talked to over the last few years (1000s of self proclaimed submissives, 100s of self proclaimed sissies), and how many have turned out to just be looking for someone to get them off by their script (well over 1/2 of them from both groups, but worse among the sissies), I feel that my generalizations are well founded ... when you can show me enough to make it somewhere closer to 50/50, or hell, even 70/30 then I'll alter my generalizations - until then, don't tell me that sissies are more submissive than the average male or that they have a deeper meaning to the lifestyle. 

If you don't fit my generalization, then I'm thrilled for you - that puts you in the 2% or so that I mentioned earlier ... but you being more submissive than the average male (and not knowing your sample size I can't say if your impression of the average male is accurate or not ... I'd guess not - simply because even after all the guys I've talked to I'd say I don't know what "average" is) doesn't mean that all sissies are.

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/8/2007 6:38:02 PM   
LotusSong


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Richh56

As a lifestyle sissy i seek out a nature born Lady. One who enjoys stripping me of my malehood and trains me as the perfect submissive sissy girl slave. One that may or may not wish to train me to service males if that so interest her and fills a need or desire she might have.

I think a lot of Dommes miss out an an excellent opertunity to have a most devoted submissive by automaticaly rejecting a submissive because he is a sissy. There are a lot of practical uses for a sissy with in the relationship. such as a maid, girl friend and almost automatic cockold slave or sub.


Sissys are more submissive then the average male and 99% have a deeper meaning to the lifestyle of Femdom in general.

Ladys, you sell your self short when you refuse to even consider a sissy as a possible sub


Consider this:  You probably seek out a woman who is Het.. then you want to dress as a female.  Not quite a turn-on for someone like me :) 

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/8/2007 7:41:28 PM   
MistressDolly


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyEllen

Sissies - is it all about them?


this should be called Sissies - Does it matter if it Is all about them? 

I mean, so what if it is - - it IS their fetish, right?

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/12/2007 9:15:38 PM   
sissypet01


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While I crossdress from time to time and daily wear bras and panites i am a str8 m submissive that just likes the fetish of it. Yes i'd would Love to find a Lady that wants a male sub that has that fetish and i'd be willing to be placed in other types of fem clothing if its Her choice to do so with me if not then thats ok too. yes perhaps most are more ape to be persecptive to submistion then others but i think it comes down to what each desires for exapmle with Lotusong; it is somthing She dose not perfer in a submissive and thats Her choice were as it may be like that for some one else and thats all apart of this lifestyle finding what works for each other.

sissypet01

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RE: Sissies - is it all about them? - 3/13/2007 5:48:03 AM   
LotusSong


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<<i would like to submit that "femininity" as an observable trait is not a single indefinable characteristic, but a composite of countless subtle variations in appearance, motions, responses, etc. etc. etc.  While the CD is often a great admirer of women, his "feminity" cherry-picks a relatively small number traits which typify femininity for him (often limited to archetypal feminine dress, voice, and walk). By missing the subtleties (which men RULE at ) he creates a shallow replica of femininity that, at least for some women, triggers a resentful response because they know that there's more to being a woman than putting on a dress and stockings. IMO, a "sissy" usually takes this a step further by exaggerating those outward cues of femininity and often creating a charicature (sp? ugh) of a woman, usually one following a model that is either immature or hasn't existed in decades. >>

Exactly.  Well said, petdave.

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